NEWSFLASH- Vampires Don't Exist!

[Patches]

<p>And they never could have.&nbsp; Sorry to ruin Halloween.</p><p><a href="http://www.livescience.com/othernews/061025_vampire_debunk.html">http://www.livescience.com/othernews/061025_vampire_debunk.html</a></p><p><em>On Jan 1, 1600, the </em><a href="http://www.livescience.com/othernews/060224_world_population.html"><em>human population</em></a><em> was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. &nbsp;A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on. </em></p><p class="style1"><em>If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high </em><a href="http://www.livescience.com/reproduction/"><em>reproduction</em></a><em> rate couldn't counteract this effect.</em> </p><p class="style1">Now get rid of that garlic, ya stinky bastards.</p>

[Tall_James]

NEWSFLASH - Water is wet !!!!

[AKA]

<p><img src="http://www.countgore.com/images/GDVnew.jpg" border="0" /></p><p><strong><a href="http://www.countgore.com/" target="_blank">I beg to differ! BLAH!</a></strong></p>

[Justice4all]

Yes, they do exist.

[Doctor Manhattan]

<strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><p><em>...If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. &nbsp;A month later there would have been four, and so on...</em> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" color="#000066" size="3">Do vampires have to turn others into vampires when they feed on them? I thought they could just feed on human blood. Killing the person but not always turning that person into a vampire.</font></p>

[BeerBandit]

You're math is wrong.&nbsp; You're not counting the work of vampire slayers.<br />

[Sheeplovr]

<p>yeah this is crap</p><p>this sounds like vampiry propaganda to get us to look the other way</p><p>&quot;<font size="2" face="arial"><font face="arial">University of Central Florida</font></font>&quot;&nbsp;</p><p>gees thats where science is</p><p> the middle of a state of retards</p><p>&nbsp;<br />
</p>

[BeerBandit]

Also, I'm sure the vampires would know that if they &quot;ate&quot; all of the humans, they would then have no food, and would die out.&nbsp; There had to be some kind of internal population control.<br />

[FUNKMAN]

<p><strong><font size="1">NEWSFLASH- Vampires Don't Exist!</font></strong> </p><p>that bites!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>and sucks!</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>at the same time</p>

[reillyluck]

<p>Oh yeah? well if vampires dont exsist, whats count chocula doing riding around with Frankenberry huh huh?&nbsp; </p><p>http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g21/mupirate/FrankenberryCountChoculaOnTheirWayT.jpg</p>

[MadMatt]

<strong>Doctor Manhattan</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><p><em>...If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. &nbsp;A month later there would have been four, and so on...</em> </p><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" color="#000066" size="3">Do vampires have to turn others into vampires when they feed on them? I thought they could just feed on human blood. Killing the person but not always turning that person into a vampire.</font></p><p><font size="2">Exactly.&nbsp; Modern vampire mythology has interpreted vampirism as a &quot;gift&quot; that is only given to a select few.&nbsp; </font></p><p><font size="2">Humans are generally viewed as food (except for a special few) and are not always killed outright.&nbsp; A vampire can feed and leave a person alive - like harvesting the apples from an apple tree.</font>&nbsp; <font size="2">The tree (human) is still alive; it just has to make more apples (blood).</font></p>

[FUNKMAN]

we could argue against this finding but i'm sure it would be in <strong>vein</strong>...

[Doctor Manhattan]

<strong>MadMatt</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Doctor Manhattan</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><p><em>...If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. &nbsp;A month later there would have been four, and so on...</em> </p><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" color="#000066" size="3">Do vampires have to turn others into vampires when they feed on them? I thought they could just feed on human blood. Killing the person but not always turning that person into a vampire.</font></p><p><font size="2">Exactly.&nbsp; Modern vampire mythology has interpreted vampirism as a &quot;gift&quot; that is only given to a select few.&nbsp; </font></p><p><font size="2">Humans are generally viewed as food (except for a special few) and are not always killed outright.&nbsp; A vampire can feed and leave a person alive - like harvesting the apples from an apple tree.</font>&nbsp; <font size="2">The tree (human) is still alive; it just has to make more apples (blood).</font></p><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" color="#000066" size="3">Ha. We just proved that Vampire <em>may</em> exisit. Fuck Costas Efthimiou, that guy's a retard!</font></p>

[MadMatt]

<strong>Doctor Manhattan</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>MadMatt</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Doctor Manhattan</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Patches</strong> wrote:<br /><p><em>...If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. &nbsp;A month later there would have been four, and so on...</em> </p><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" color="#000066" size="3">Do vampires have to turn others into vampires when they feed on them? I thought they could just feed on human blood. Killing the person but not always turning that person into a vampire.</font></p><p><font size="2">Exactly.&nbsp; Modern vampire mythology has interpreted vampirism as a &quot;gift&quot; that is only given to a select few.&nbsp; </font></p><p><font size="2">Humans are generally viewed as food (except for a special few) and are not always killed outright.&nbsp; A vampire can feed and leave a person alive - like harvesting the apples from an apple tree.</font>&nbsp; <font size="2">The tree (human) is still alive; it just has to make more apples (blood).</font></p><p><font face="times new roman,times,serif" color="#000066" size="3">Ha. We just proved that Vampire <em>may</em> exisit. Fuck Costas Efthimiou, that guy's a retard!</font></p><p><font size="3">Yeah, F-him!&nbsp; Right in his ear!</font></p><p><img height="148" src="http://www.freshlabs.de/journal/wp-content/pics/mythbusters.jpg" width="290" border="0" /></p>

[PapaBear]

Beerbandit is right. There aren't nearly enough factors considered for this formula to be accurate.

[badorties]

<strong>reillyluck</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Oh yeah? well if vampires dont exsist, whats count chocula doing riding around with Frankenberry huh huh?&nbsp; </p><p><img src="http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g21/mupirate/FrankenberryCountChoculaOnTheirWayT.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>aren't they the XM interns ...?</p>

[Contra]

You guys are keeping my "Hot vampire chick lets me fuck the shit outta her and then feeds on me" fantasy alive!

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Contra on 10-28-06 @ 4:27 PM</span>

[reillyluck]

<strong>badorties</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>reillyluck</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Oh yeah? well if vampires dont exsist, whats count chocula doing riding around with Frankenberry huh huh?&nbsp; </p><p><img src="http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g21/mupirate/FrankenberryCountChoculaOnTheirWayT.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>aren't they the XM interns ...?</p><p>my point EXACTLY...they really do exsist!&nbsp; Vampires have jobs too living normal lives! </p>

[super turbo death shark]

<p>maybe humans just don't exist anymore<br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>thats the conclusion i come up with when i read between the lines&nbsp;</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>Sharkmouth</strong> wrote:<br /><p>maybe humans just don't exist anymore<br /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>thats the conclusion i come up with when i read between the lines&nbsp;</p><p>oh they're human alright, but vampires at the same time. they'll suck your blood, the money out of your retirement account, and their own father's cock for a few extra bucks!</p><p><img height="129" src="http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20061027/thumb.16803957371f4a8b96c252910d5e9823.flipping_on _the_boss_nybz105.jpg" width="88" border="0" /><img height="130" src="http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20061027/thumb.c1dd39f08d7e4a5392ce486bc10a50ae.flipping_on _the_boss_nybz104.jpg" width="82" border="0" /><img height="92" src="http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20061023/t/r2608888131.jpg" width="130" border="0" /></p>

[furie]

this only works if you go with the line that every bit yeilds a vampire(dracula rules). But what about lestat rules where one is made a vampire on purpose, not just a bite?

[FUNKMAN]

<p>No Vampires, BULLSHIT!</p><p>the guy should go visit a rest stop and stick his doowang into a glory hole...</p>

[lleeder]

What about werewolves has that been disproved as well<strong>?</strong>

[reeshy]

I believe in vampires...My girlfriend sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br />I believe in vampires...My girlfriend sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><p>on your binky?</p>

[BeerBandit]

<p>&nbsp;</p><strong>lleeder</strong> wrote:<br />What about werewolves has that been disproved as well<strong>?</strong><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I would actually believe the existence of werewolves to be disproven a little more easily.&nbsp; Keeping the same assumption as to the date of the original werewolve, they would be on the same werewolve generation schedule of every month, due to the monthly occurence of a full moon (with the slight exception of blue moons, of course).&nbsp; Also there is no choice involved in making a werewolf.&nbsp; You're bitten, you're a werewolf.&nbsp; And they are harder to kill seeing as they are only around for one night a month, and silver bullets are a little harder to come by than wooden stakes.<br /></p>