In the name of the father, the son....thud!

[Tall_James]

<p>I was in church this morning when a woman two rows in front of me fainted dead away, hitting her head on the pew.&nbsp; It would have been humorous if her 4 kids (all between the ages of 5 and 12) weren't with her and scared out of their minds!&nbsp; My 2.5 year old was freaked out by the commotion, cops and off duty nurses so I took him out into the back of the church and saw her kids huddled together, crying and worried.&nbsp; I knew that their mom was conscious and talking, but still laid out on the pew.&nbsp; So I told them not to worry, she was awake and talking to the cop.&nbsp; Apprarently it was a blood sugar thing.&nbsp; I also told her kids the next time that they didnt want to go to church to use this as an excuse to tell their mom they wouldn't go for fear that their mom would pull a stunt like this again.&nbsp; They laughed so&nbsp;I did my little bit to ease their fears.&nbsp; </p><p>Hopefully she's OK and her kids are not too freaked.&nbsp; I can only imagine their fear in seeing their mom drop dead away right in front of them.</p><p>This experience for me rivals the time I saw a college buddy at mass and his wife had a panty liner stuck to her ass for the entire service.&nbsp; By that I mean it is something that I will remember for a long time.</p>

[Don Stugots]

what is church?&nbsp; seriously a few years ago my weight had dropped to 212, i looked like shit.&nbsp; my blood sugar dropped too and i fainted in the bathroom and split my head open and needed 12 stitches.&nbsp; <br />

[FUNKMAN]

<p>gee, when the priest says &quot;please kneel&quot; she takes it to the extreme</p><p>seriously that is very scary. i one time was eating breakfast with my dad and his eyes rolled up and he passed out for a few seconds. turns out he wasn't taking his meds as described</p><p>one thing i also learned in the navy is if you stand for a period of time while locking your knees you can make yourself pass out...</p>

[johnniewalker]

I was on a long flight and I was watching the boxing movie with the guy from gladiator and this lady started walking to the bathroom.&nbsp; She bombed hard and seriously looked like she had knocked herself unconcious or had died.&nbsp; I was by the window and my sitting partner was going the bathroom.&nbsp; So it was me and this 8 year old kid staring at each other.&nbsp;&nbsp; The movie was at the last fight with Max Baer, and I didn't know what to say.&nbsp; I just told him you probably should get some help.&nbsp; What a great movie that was.<br />

[Gvac]

<p>She's probably one of those old school Catholics who believe you can't eat anything on a Sunday until you receive Communion.&nbsp; I remember when I was a kid and my parents would drag us to church I'd be absolutely starving.&nbsp; All I could think of was getting out of there and heading to the IHOP for some pancakes.&nbsp; </p><p>Do you think the whole fasting aspect of some religions is for easier mind control?&nbsp;</p>

[reeshy]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>gee, when the priest says &quot;please kneel&quot; she takes it to the extreme</p><p>seriously that is very scary. i one time was eating breakfast with my dad and his eyes rolled up and he passed out for a few seconds. turns out he wasn't taking his meds as described</p><p>one thing i also learned in the navy is if you stand for a period of time while locking your knees you can make yourself pass out...</p><p>What?....Standing at attention?....I thought most of you guys in the Navy were bent over most of the time!!!!!</p>

[TooLowBrow]

<font size="2">I once was in church when a lady farted, needless to say, she had to sit in her own pew</font>

[FezPaul]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Do you think the whole fasting aspect of some religions is for easier mind control?&nbsp;</p><p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">Actually, fasting focuses the mind and improves the ability to think clearly.</font></strong></p><p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">The last thing you'd want in someone whose mind you were trying to control.</font></strong></p><p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">The best way to control someone's mind is to give them drugs and alcohol.</font></strong></p><p>http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/beer.jpg<br /></p>

[FezPaul]

<strong>toolowbrow</strong> wrote:<br /><font size="2">I once was in church when a lady farted, needless to say, she had to sit in her own pew</font> <p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">Thanks toolwbrow, haven't had a good reason to use this in a while.</font></strong></p><p>http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/hack/pants.jpg<br /></p>

[keithy_19]

<p> I also told her kids the next time that they didnt want to go to church to use this as an excuse to tell their mom they wouldn't go for fear that their mom would pull a stunt like this again.&nbsp; They laughed so&nbsp;I did my little bit to ease their fears.&nbsp;</p><p>Tall_James then went on to tell the kids that this what happens when mommy's are selfish whores. </p>

[torker]

<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I was in church this morning... </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><img height="200" src="http://www.av1611.org/crock/images/pod_salu2.jpg" width="246" border="0" /></p>

[Death Metal Moe]

<strong>torker</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I was in church this morning... </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><img height="200" src="http://www.av1611.org/crock/images/pod_salu2.jpg" width="246" border="0" /></p><p>He he, nice.</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>gee, when the priest says &quot;please kneel&quot; she takes it to the extreme</p><p>seriously that is very scary. i one time was eating breakfast with my dad and his eyes rolled up and he passed out for a few seconds. turns out he wasn't taking his meds as described</p><p>one thing i also learned in the navy is if you stand for a period of time while locking your knees you can make yourself pass out...</p><p>What?....Standing at attention?....I thought most of you guys in the Navy were bent over most of the time!!!!!</p><p>almost, we only bend over when the coast guard guys get hungry&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /></p><p>boy do they love their salad</p>

[phixion]

similar story: catholic scholl 7th grade. we were on up near hte alter for some shit, and suddenly my mother of one of the kids has a terets outbreak. people start going crazy mass was cancelled that day and sadly we returned to class. we had to a paper on terets cuz some of us found it funny. fuck u mrs giles!!! im happy ur fuckin husband died u cunt!!&nbsp; i doubt she'll ever read this but hey

[FezPaul]

<strong>phixion</strong> wrote:<br />. fuck u mrs giles!!! im happy ur fuckin husband died u cunt!!&nbsp; <p>http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/anger-management.png<br /></p>

[A.J.]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Do you think the whole fasting aspect of some religions is for easier mind control?&nbsp;</p><p>That and the guilt.</p>

[Gvac]

<strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p> </p><p>Do you think the whole fasting aspect of some religions is for easier mind control? </p><p><strong><font size="2" face="courier new,courier,monospace">Actually, fasting focuses the mind and improves the ability to think clearly.</font></strong></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I think that's the biggest load of malarkey this side of celibacy. </p><p>Denying a basic need does not focus the mind in any way. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p>

[FezPaul]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Do you think the whole fasting aspect of some religions is for easier mind control? </p><p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">Actually, fasting focuses the mind and improves the ability to think clearly.</font></strong></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I think that's the biggest load of malarkey this side of celibacy. </p><p>Denying a basic need does not focus the mind in any way. &nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p><a href="http://www.hps-online.com/fasting.htm?PHPSESSID=ad6b9b86fe46464b54397980173f 8cbb">Looky here Bandit.</a></p><p><font face="Arial" size="2">Fasting properly accelerates secretion of H G H. Accelerated secretions of Human Growth Hormone will normally yield the following results:<br /><br />&nbsp;- Boost your immune system<br />&nbsp;- Rejuvenate your body and <font style="background-color: #ffff00">mind</font><br />&nbsp;- Feel &amp; look younger<br />&nbsp;- Reduce wrinkles, lose weight, decrease cellulite<br />&nbsp;- Restore your sex drive and vigor<br />&nbsp;- Revitalize your heart, liver, kidneys &amp; lungs<br />&nbsp;- Maintain muscle mass<br />&nbsp;- <font style="background-color: #ffff00">Refresh memory, mood and mental energy</font><br />&nbsp;- Sleep soundly and awake rested<br />&nbsp;- Help eliminate stress, fatigue and depression</font></p><p>&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by FezPaul on 10-23-06 @ 6:52 PM</span>

[HeyGuy]

one more reason not to go to church!!!

[SatCam]

<strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p> </p><p>Do you think the whole fasting aspect of some religions is for easier mind control? </p><p><strong><font face="courier new,courier,monospace" size="2">Actually, fasting focuses the mind and improves the ability to think clearly.</font></strong></p><p> </p><p>I think that's the biggest load of malarkey this side of celibacy. </p><p>Denying a basic need does not focus the mind in any way. </p><p><a href="http://www.hps-online.com/fasting.htm?PHPSESSID=ad6b9b86fe46464b54397980173f 8cbb">Looky here Bandit.</a></p><p><font face="Arial" size="2">Fasting properly accelerates secretion of H G H. Accelerated secretions of Human Growth Hormone will normally yield the following results:<br /><br /> - Boost your immune system<br /> - Rejuvenate your body and <font style="background-color: #ffff00">mind</font><br /> - Feel & look younger<br /> - Reduce wrinkles, lose weight, decrease cellulite<br /> - Restore your sex drive and vigor<br /> - Revitalize your heart, liver, kidneys & lungs<br /> - Maintain muscle mass<br /> - <font style="background-color: #ffff00">Refresh memory, mood and mental energy</font><br /> - Sleep soundly and awake rested<br /> - Help eliminate stress, fatigue and depression</font></p><p> </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by FezPaul on 10-23-06 @ 6:52 PM</span><p></p>

"I would recommend fasting to all my friends!"

http://www.qeliz.ac.uk/psychology/images/anorexia.jpg

[jetdog]

<strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FezPaul</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p> </p><p>Do you think the whole fasting aspect of some religions is for easier mind control? </p><p><strong><font size="2" face="courier new,courier,monospace">Actually, fasting focuses the mind and improves the ability to think clearly.</font></strong></p><p> </p><p>I think that's the biggest load of malarkey this side of celibacy. </p><p>Denying a basic need does not focus the mind in any way. </p><p><a href="http://www.hps-online.com/fasting.htm?PHPSESSID=ad6b9b86fe46464b54397980173f 8cbb">Looky here Bandit.</a></p><p><font size="2" face="Arial">Fasting
properly accelerates secretion of H G H. Accelerated secretions of
Human Growth Hormone will normally yield the following results:<br /><br /> - Boost your immune system<br /> - Rejuvenate your body and <font style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">mind</font><br /> - Feel &amp; look younger<br /> - Reduce wrinkles, lose weight, decrease cellulite<br /> - Restore your sex drive and vigor<br /> - Revitalize your heart, liver, kidneys &amp; lungs<br /> - Maintain muscle mass<br /> - <font style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">Refresh memory, mood and mental energy</font><br /> - Sleep soundly and awake rested<br /> - Help eliminate stress, fatigue and depression</font></p><p> </p><p>&nbsp;</p>

<span class="post_edited">This message was edited by FezPaul on 10-23-06 @ 6:52 PM</span><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Nice! I always knew that &quot;proper nutrition&quot; line was a bunch of malarkey! Fuck protein!&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p>