I Pissed Myself [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

tbonesteak

10-04-2006, 11:47 AM

The weirdest thing happened while I was taking a piss today. I'm standing at the urinal and I have a steady stream going.  Everything appears to be normal when all of a sudden, a second rouge stream appears shooting almost 90 degress to the left, soaking my pant leg and hitting the shoe of coworker standing nearby.  It was one of the most embarrassing moments I can remember.Has this ever happened to anyone?

mikeyboy

10-04-2006, 11:49 AM

Not like that, no.Had you recently had sex or rubbed one out?

OGC

10-04-2006, 11:49 AM

Hot !

nate1000

10-04-2006, 11:53 AM

More importantly, if it was truly rouge, go to the doctor. Pissing blood=not good.  However, rogue streams happen often, particularly after sex. Don't sweat it. If no sex was involved, could be a stone. If so, buckle up- you're in for a fun ride. 

This message was edited by nate1000 on 10-4-06 @ 3:55 PM

tbonesteak

10-04-2006, 12:09 PM

I had sex the night before.  That might account for it.And I didn't mean to write rouge.  I meant to write rogue, as in, no longer obedient, belonging, or accepted and hence not controllable or answerable.

Jennitalia

10-04-2006, 12:11 PM

i peed myself once.  i was camping with friends and we were all drinking lots and lots.  i had to tinkle so i went to go find a private space away from everyone, and as i was squatting and peeing, i lost my balance and fell over, peeing all over myself.

torker

10-04-2006, 12:13 PM

tbonesteak wrote: I had sex the night before.  That might account for it.A kernel of impacted corn?

KC2OSO

10-04-2006, 12:24 PM

Long, long, time ago a friend of mine and I polished off a handle of vodka round ye ole campfire.  Later that evening after we had gone to our tents and passed out, I awoke to the shadow of a man on my tent wall wielding a knife screaming, "Who shit in my sleeping bag!"  It was very scary in the campfire light.Well, as you may have guessed, HE shit in his sleeping bag and spent the next hour lakeside scraping poo.As for sideways peeing, I only notice that after sex or while sporting partially.

KC2OSO

10-04-2006, 12:28 PM

Jennitalia wrote: i peed myself once. i was camping with friends and we were all drinking lots and lots. i had to tinkle so i went to go find a private space away from everyone, and as i was squatting and peeing, i lost my balance and fell over, peeing all over myself.  Nice story!

angrymissy

10-04-2006, 12:35 PM

I peed myself once, in New Orleans.  I was so fucking wasted and I went into a liquor store and asked if I could use their bathroom.  I was doing the pee pee dance and everything.  He said no, get out, and for some reason my body just decided that was enough and I peed all over myself and the floor.The liquor store guy was not pleased.  I was shamed for months.

torker

10-04-2006, 12:41 PM

Mike from Bklyn

10-04-2006, 12:46 PM

I have this friend who has a Jeep Rubicon. On his way home after drinking he missed his exit and had to pee. So he tells me he just pissed on the floor of the jeep while driving. So this counts as a pissed my car story.

lindak

10-04-2006, 12:47 PM

Sorry but that cracked me up...  what did the guy do standing next to you?  give you a what the fuck look? or I know what thats about look?  and I bet more people have pissed themselves than want to tell about it.

narc

10-04-2006, 01:15 PM

I wet the bed for the first time since I was seven last year. Hasn't happened since. I had a dream that I was peeing, and sure enough, when I woke up, it was happening. Luckily enough I didn't get that much out, but any is really too much. LBJ once peed on his secret service agent when they were at his ranch, just because he could. LBJ was a dick. According to the agent, what happened was this, they were tooling around on a golf cart and LBJ had him pull over so he could take a piss. So the agent pulled over, went a distance away and turned around. Then he felt something warm on his leg, so he said: "Mr. President, I think you're urinating on me." LBJ just said: "I know. It's my prerogative."

Furtherman

10-04-2006, 01:28 PM

torker wrote: <img height="100" src="http://www.film-base.de/images/people/Maury-Chaykin.jpg" width="150" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/thumbup.gif" border="0" />

grlNIN

10-04-2006, 03:10 PM

I vividly remember laughing so hard at a friend's jokes that i could barely shout "Oh God, my pants, they're getting wet...please stop!".We've all been there, penis or not.

Krieger

10-04-2006, 03:27 PM

Wow a rogue stream, the worst thats happend to me in recent years instead of getting up after going number 2 is pissing sitting down but it sucks when you dont have your wang tand ding dong aimed so i accidently piss partially on the back of my boxers and jeans. Though it only happend once and luckily at home.

FUNKMAN

10-04-2006, 03:30 PM

<img height="180" src="http://static.flickr.com/51/172287134_effe13c091_m.jpg" width="240" border="0" />the only time i remember peeing on someone is when i was a little kid. i ran in the bathroom, and caught the rim of the bowl and got my dad in the leg who had just taken a bath and was standing in front of the sink next to me... he not too happy about it

sr71blackbird

10-04-2006, 04:40 PM

When I was in summer school as a kid, they had a sleep over in tents in the woods behind the school.  They told us scary storys around the camp fire about wolverines that were in the woods that would attack you late at night, and also about the Three Fingered Gore that would kill people at night. Later, we went to our tents all scared, and at one point, we heard a scream and we all ran out of our tents and someone said Pete was killed (but it was really a lie).  I woke up after midnight and needed to piss real bad.  But because I was scared of being eaten or attacked, I kept trying to wake my friend James up to see if he would go with me.  But he wouldnt go (he was scared too).  So, I just let go and pissed in my sleeping bag and it felt good to let go, but bad to be laying in my own wet piss all night.

OGC

10-04-2006, 04:47 PM

Jennitalia wrote: i peed myself once.  i was camping with friends and we were all drinking lots and lots.  i had to tinkle so i went to go find a private space away from everyone, and as i was squatting and peeing, i lost my balance and fell over, peeing all over myself. Did I mention lately HOT !!!

dotsncoms

10-04-2006, 05:30 PM

<img height="292" src="http://images.chron.com/content/news/photos/04/07/18/hstern.jpg" width="255" border="0" />   I listen to Howard and he said this happens to him alot, he thinks it's from getting old, i'm serious he goes to the doctor for everything! I had stones you would know.

This message was edited by dotsncoms on 10-4-06 @ 9:42 PM

dotsncoms

10-04-2006, 06:08 PM

OGC

10-04-2006, 06:38 PM

dotsncoms wrote:    I listen to Howard and he said this happens to him alot, he thinks it's from getting old, i'm serious he goes to the doctor for everything! I had stones you would know. <img src="http://img489.imageshack.us/img489/9656/sternpg5.jpg" border="0" />   Hoo hoo, I invented pissing myself. Tell 'em Fred

Don Stugots

10-04-2006, 06:43 PM

he pisses his bed. 

dotsncoms

10-04-2006, 06:50 PM

you're old duuuhh haha dude!<img height="240" src="http://home.teleport.com/~rasputin/ImageFiles/BeavisButthead.jpg" width="315" border="0" />

torker

10-04-2006, 06:58 PM

STUGOTS1 wrote: he pisses his bed.  And his mother hangs the dirty sheet out the window.                 <img height="306" src="http://www.runningmovies.com/image/LoneliestRunner3.jpg" width="171" border="0" />

A.J.

10-05-2006, 03:56 AM

"Look at you! I have never seen a child as disgusting as you! You pissed your pants? How dare you! You want me to cut it off? Is that what you want me to do, you little freak? Don't cry at me you little faggot. Apoligize! Say "I'm sorry daddy, I'm a dirty little beast, I'm a freak!..." Say it!"<img height="233" src="http://www.edwardnorton.republika.pl/red.jpg" width="350" border="0" />

angelinad128

10-05-2006, 05:42 AM

Please see a Urologist. Any hint of color in urine is BAD!!!!

Jennitalia

10-05-2006, 07:17 AM

torker wrote: STUGOTS1 wrote: he pisses his bed.  And his mother hangs the dirty sheet out the window.                  That was Michael Landon's mom.  Poor Pa.

Jujubees2

10-05-2006, 08:27 AM

I'll have to admit that sometimes I get a wild stream (though never wild enough to squirt the person next to me) while draining the lizard because a stray pube will be lying across the external urethral orifice which will interrupt the flow and cause a little spraying.  Since we're on the topic of urination, I need some help here.  The bathroom at my office has two urinals.  When I'm using one, if someone comes in to use the other, should I try to make conversation or just keep looking straight ahead and pretend no one's there?<img height="381" src="http://www.inet-link.com/downloads/urinal.jpg" width="252" border="0" />

suggums

10-05-2006, 08:54 AM

have you ever had one of those farts? you know the kind...

Kevin

10-05-2006, 08:57 AM

IIIIIIIIIII Pissed myself today just to see if i could stink........  Sorry.

This message was edited by Kevin on 10-5-06 @ 12:58 PM

narc

10-05-2006, 08:59 AM

grlNIN wrote: I vividly remember laughing so hard at a friend's jokes that i could barely shout "Oh God, my pants, they're getting wet...please stop!".We've all been there, penis or not.   I don't think you can call yourself funny until you've done this to a girl.

Jennitalia

10-05-2006, 09:03 AM

i was at my friends house one winter and she was having a huge party.  needless to say, i was trashed, and we were all playing an exciting game of Asshole.  So the Pres made Asshole and Shit man (which were me and a friend) go outside and pee their names in the snow.  Very challenging for a girl, but I did it.  Just couldnt dot the I.  Guys have the funnest genitals

Fezticle98

10-05-2006, 11:15 AM

I pissed myself one year ago after I got hit by a car. But, in my defense, I was unconscious.

Fezticle98

10-05-2006, 11:17 AM

Jujubees2 wrote: I'll have to admit that sometimes I get a wild stream (though never wild enough to squirt the person next to me) while draining the lizard because a stray pube will be lying across the external urethral orifice which will interrupt the flow and cause a little spraying.  Since we're on the topic of urination, I need some help here.  The bathroom at my office has two urinals.  When I'm using one, if someone comes in to use the other, should I try to make conversation or just keep looking straight ahead and pretend no one's there?<img height="381" src="http://www.inet-link.com/downloads/urinal.jpg" width="252" border="0" />Juju,A simple "Nice penis!" is always appreciated.

OGC

10-05-2006, 11:34 AM

Jujubees2 wrote: Since we're on the topic of urination, I need some help here.  The bathroom at my office has two urinals.  When I'm using one, if someone comes in to use the other, should I try to make conversation or just keep looking straight ahead and pretend no one's there?  You my friend need to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw" target="_blank">watch this</a>. Apparently no one sent you the memo.

phixion

10-05-2006, 02:18 PM

in college there was a guy across the hall would piss himself when he was drunkand asleep , or so we thought. one time he pissed his bed when he was completely sober, whats worse is that he owed this guy down the hall $5 and when he got the money it was wet and stank of piss. i wouldve taken an iou gladly

FezPaul

10-05-2006, 02:30 PM

Kevin wrote: IIIIIIIIIII Pissed myself today just to see if i could stink........  Sorry. This message was edited by Kevin on 10-5-06 @ 12:58 PM I liked it.Now pick up those oranges. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/wink.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" />

FUNKMAN

10-05-2006, 03:54 PM

not too proud of these  first time i'm in my friends apt, we were teens and we had just got whacked on brews and bud. anyway all i hear is someone say "what are you doing?"  i look over and there is my friends aunt. i turn and look down and i'm peein on his living room wall. i get totally embarrassed and begin to panic a bit so i grab one of my friends shirts and start wiping the wall with it. then i had to leave and walk right past his grandparents who were standing in the hall on the first floor. my friend had left me to go to his grandparents apt to get something to eat...another time i'm in my family's apt and i hear "what are you doing?" i turn and it's my brother Bill, then i turn and look down and i'm peein on the stereo and curtains in my bedroom

Bunny™

10-05-2006, 03:59 PM

I once pissed all over myself, a window, a wall, the bed, and my gf at the time who was asleep next to me in our bed. [I had a habit of passing out naked back in those days]I'd been drinking at a bar a few blocks away with the owner until 4am.I still think it was the best gift I ever gave her.Now I share my gift with all of you.

This message was edited by Tools on 10-5-06 @ 8:01 PM