FORKS ON A PLANE

[Dirtybird12]

<p>( the names in the following post have been changed to protect the guilty outlaws) </p><p>I was able to board a united airlines&nbsp;plane the other day&nbsp;from DWF TX to Dulles DC&nbsp;with a Fork in my pocket. It was an accident. I forgot that&nbsp;I had&nbsp;accidently taken&nbsp;the fork&nbsp;from the place I&nbsp;was having dinner at&nbsp; a few hours earlier...for&nbsp;&nbsp;a &quot;souvenir&quot;.&nbsp; ( dont ask.. it's a disease) </p><p>Once we were in the air I discovered the fork. I then felt like Johnny Depp in the movie BLOW. They never busted me tho. However, the chick I was with had 3 lipsticks taken from her. </p><p>Just wanted to let you guys know that airport security is tighter than ever. </p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>lucky you didn't get caught. they probably would have made you fork it over...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>phew, that was fucking awful...</p>

[Dirtybird12]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>lucky you didn't get caught. they probably would have made you fork it over...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>phew, that was fucking awful...</p><p>But i told YOU - I FORK-GOT I had it with me! </p><p><img height="149" src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/SleekIrishSheik/1090736665_esBlueRaja.jpg" width="160" border="0" /></p>

[SinA]

<p>don't sweat it man, these things happen all the tine</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>.&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by SinA on 8-21-06 @ 10:48 PM</span>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>lucky you didn't get caught. they probably would have made you fork it over...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>phew, that was fucking awful...</p><p>But i told YOU - I FORK-GOT I had it with me! </p><p><img height="149" src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/SleekIrishSheik/1090736665_esBlueRaja.jpg" width="160" border="0" /></p><p>you could have also replied</p><p>&quot; what the fork you talking about? &quot;</p>

[Dirtybird12]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>lucky you didn't get caught. they probably would have made you fork it over...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>phew, that was fucking awful...</p><p>But i told YOU - I FORK-GOT I had it with me! </p><p><img height="149" src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/SleekIrishSheik/1090736665_esBlueRaja.jpg" width="160" border="0" /></p><p>you could have also replied</p><p>&quot; what the fork you talking about? &quot;</p><p>OUR NATION IS IN DANGER AND ALL YOU MOTHER FORKERS CAN DO IS MAKE SILLY F JOKES?</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>lucky you didn't get caught. they probably would have made you fork it over...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>phew, that was fucking awful...</p><p>But i told YOU - I FORK-GOT I had it with me! </p><p><img height="149" src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/SleekIrishSheik/1090736665_esBlueRaja.jpg" width="160" border="0" /></p><p>you could have also replied</p><p>&quot; what the fork you talking about? &quot;</p><p>OUR NATION IS IN DANGER AND ALL YOU MOTHER FORKERS CAN DO IS MAKE SILLY F JOKES?</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Go Fork Yourself!</p>

[Fallon]

<p>&nbsp;</p><strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br />&nbsp;However, the chick I was with had 3 lipsticks taken from her. <p> </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Did ya join the mile high club and fork her?&nbsp;</p>

[bobrobot]

<p><strong><font color="#000099">It was a clever rouge to have the chick distract them w/ all that lipstick, but even steel, that fork must've made utensil for the whole flight!!! But you're home now &amp; yer record is stainless!!!</font></strong></p><p><img height="321" src="http://www.acemart.com/graphics/00000001/products/FLAB-DF.jpg" width="255" border="0" /></p>

[UnknownPD]

Fork them and their rules...man

[reeshy]

You forkin' rule, Dude!!!!!<br />

[reeshy]

Oh...and Bobo...you're avatar is disturbing on so many, many different levels....I think my PTSD is kicking in....oh shit!!!!!!<br />

[sr71blackbird]

Good thing you didnt have a Spoon....or that your name isn't MOEhammed! <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" />

[A.J.]

<p>Terrorists hate our love of flatware!</p>

[JustJon]

How did the fork not set off the metal detectors?<br />

[Furtherman]

<p>This is forkin' awful.&nbsp; </p><p>Yea... was it a hard plastic fork?&nbsp; A metal fork would have set off some forkin' alarms.</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[bobrobot]

<p><strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br />Oh...and Bobo...you're avatar is disturbing on so many, many different levels....I think my PTSD is kicking in....oh shit!!!!!!<br /></p><p><strong><font color="#000099">Thanks Reeshy!!!</font></strong></p><p><img height="328" src="http://www.smileycollector.com/images/photos/sunflower.jpg" width="500" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by bobogolem on 8-22-06 @ 2:56 PM</span>

[ChimneyFish]

<p><strong><em><font face="georgia,times new roman,times,serif" size="2">Leave it to this board to take something serious like someone sneaking a sort-of-sharp object onto a plane, and making it into a thread with nothing but hack jokes. </font></em></strong><strong><em><font face="georgia,times new roman,times,serif" size="2">It's just not really knife.</font></em></strong></p>

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

<p>I remember Mikey D posted a while back how he accidentally brought a pocket knife on a plane. He had it in the pocket of his jacket and had forgoteen about it. He didn't discover it until he had already arrived at his destination.</p><p>Was it Isreal who told us not to look for suspicious items, but for suspicious looking people? Well, apparently looking for suspicious items doesn't work either. &nbsp;</p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>Alice S. Fuzzybutt</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Was it Isreal who told us not to look for suspicious items, but for suspicious looking people? </p><p>Shifty eyes are a dead giveaway.</p><p><img height="154" src="http://www.markysparkytoys.com/gif/markysparkylogoleftright.gif" width="100" border="0" /></p>

[Dirtybird12]

<p>It was a metal fork</p><p>I have no clue why the metal detectors didnt go off..</p><p>must have been some sort of malforktion..</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>ok that was the best. </p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>rumor has it the desert served was forkshire pudding...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>okay now that's the best one! </p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>edit: i meant <strong>DESSERT</strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; if there is one thing this board has taught me is you cannot rush the unfunny</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>anyway that utensil would have come in handy if they were serving fork tenderloin or fork fried rice</p><p><img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by FUNKMAN on 8-22-06 @ 11:38 PM</span>

[FreshJ]

<p>Forking Metal Detectors only work when the metal is magnetic, otherwise it does not tend to detect it. I used to work in an airport and went through security everyday with change in my pocket. NO BEEP. There are limitations to the equipment.</p><p>If the Fork is cheap it could be nickel or even Aluminum.&nbsp; Not easily Forkable.&nbsp;</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by FreshJ on 8-22-06 @ 11:27 PM</span>

[Dirtybird12]

<hr color="cococo" align="left"></font><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br><p>rumor has it the desert served was forkshire pudding...</p><p>ÿ</p><p>okay now that's the best one! </p><p>ÿ</p><p>edit: i meant <strong>DESSERT</strong>ÿÿÿÿ if there is one thing this board has taught me is you cannot rush the unfunny</p><p>ÿ</p><p>anyway that utensil would have come in handy if they were serving fork tenderloin or fork fried rice</p><p><img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/smile.gif" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by FUNKMAN on 8-22-06 @ 11:38 PM</span><hr color="cococo" align="left"><p></p>

[Dirtybird12]

<strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; if there is one thing this board has taught me is you cannot rush the unfunny</p><p>It's ok - I forkive u</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>CircusFreak</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; if there is one thing this board has taught me is you cannot rush the unfunny</p><p>It's ok - I forkive u</p><p>let's just forket it ever happened....</p>

[Sleeves]

<p>What sort of plane was it?</p><p>A seven-forky-seven...?</p><p>(and what's up with the forks?&nbsp; Why not steal a nice knife?&nbsp; I think of all the utensils, I'm least pleased with a fork...I don't know why...they just look mean)</p><br />

[Dirtybird12]

<strong>Sleeves</strong> wrote:<br /><p>(and what's up with the forks?&nbsp; Why not steal a nice knife?&nbsp; I think of all the utensils, I'm least pleased with a fork...I don't know why...they just look mean)</p><br /><p>HA! and Sleeves is the only person I know who can do a solid forkyfive minute monologue&nbsp; about forks!.. and have me glued to me chair while listening.</p>

[furie]

spoons and forks are not prohibited

[furie]

<strong>JustJon</strong> wrote:<br>How did the fork not set off the metal detectors?<br /><p></p>

because those metal detectors are 20 years behind in technology. they are designed to detect high density metal like a gun which what was the concern 20-30 years ago when screening went into gear. they're not designed to detect low density metal which the fork most likely is.

[undressa]

<p>this was fun</p><p>but its time to stick a fork in it</p><p>this bit is way done</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>thank you and good night</p><p>Vaness</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>i want to wake up in a city that never sleeps</p><p>New Fork New Fork</p>

[FreshJ]

<p>&nbsp;</p><strong>undressa</strong> wrote:<br /><p>this was fun</p><p>but its time to stick a fork in it</p><p>this bit is way done</p><p> </p><p>thank you and good night</p><p>Vaness</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Forkgetit this Forking Bit will never been Spooned.&nbsp;</p>

[bobrobot]

<p><strong><font color="#000099">no one's pitching this fork!!!</font></strong></p><p><img height="375" src="http://www.stephenshames.com/projects2/images/04-pitch-fork_211.jpg" width="375" border="0" /></p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>bobogolem</strong> wrote:<br /><p><strong><font color="#000099">no one's pitching this fork!!!</font></strong></p><p><img height="375" src="http://www.stephenshames.com/projects2/images/04-pitch-fork_211.jpg" width="375" border="0" /></p><p><a href="http://www.lsg.musin.de/Gesch/geschichte/6-rom/neptune.jpg">&nbsp;<img src="http://www.lsg.musin.de/Gesch/geschichte/6-rom/neptune.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p>Neptune not only pitches the fork but he beat you to the birthday suit...</p><p>HON</p>

[Davios]

I'm amazed you pulled it off. I just got back from a direct flight out of Spain and I, as well as everyone else there, was basically strip searched. The women were asked to remove all of their jewelry and place it in their suitcases and luggage seeing as how carry on was not permitted short of clear plastic bags, and the jewelry was not even permitted under those circumstances.

[bobrobot]

<strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><blockquote /><p><a href="http://www.lsg.musin.de/Gesch/geschichte/6-rom/neptune.jpg">&nbsp;<img src="http://www.lsg.musin.de/Gesch/geschichte/6-rom/neptune.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p>Neptune not only pitches the fork but he beat you to the birthday suit...</p><p>HON</p><p><strong><font color="#000099">NICE TRY(dent), Hon...</font></strong></p>

[FUNKMAN]

<strong>bobogolem</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>FUNKMAN</strong> wrote:<br /><p><a href="http://www.lsg.musin.de/Gesch/geschichte/6-rom/neptune.jpg">&nbsp;<img src="http://www.lsg.musin.de/Gesch/geschichte/6-rom/neptune.jpg" border="0" /></a></p><p>Neptune not only pitches the fork but he beat you to the birthday suit...</p><p>HON</p><p><strong><font color="#000099">NICE TRY(dent), Hon...</font></strong></p><p>Good Morning Mr Bobo.... Nice Pun Hon</p>

[bobrobot]

<img src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y46/bobogolem/GFR.jpg" border="0" />

[Judge Smails]

<p><img height="373" src="http://www.csupomona.edu/~memogge/Images2004Comp/OnPlane.jpg" width="579" border="0" /></p><p>Oh, I'm sorry.&nbsp; I misread the thread title.&nbsp; I thought it said &quot;Fucks On A Plane&quot;</p>