Pirates vs Ninjas [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

mikeyboy

07-16-2006, 07:27 PM

Ninja, hands down.  Jeez, I don't even think it would be close. Think about it.  What's pirate kryptonite?  Probably rum.  What's ninja kryptonite?  Either, it doesn't exist, or it's so heavy you can't get your mind around it.Also, the whole stealth thing is huge.

Marc with a c

07-16-2006, 07:30 PM

i would like to hear an explanation for these pirate votes.  i just don't get it.

suggums

07-16-2006, 07:34 PM

ninja.  unless the pirate was some kinda transformerya know, like jesus

legroommusic

07-16-2006, 07:38 PM

pirates are easy to kil. you either poke out the other eye, or sick termites on their wooden leg. stupid question.

XMRonFez

07-16-2006, 07:45 PM

The only way I think a pirate could win, is if he had some sort of curse on his soul. All the good pirates usually do. Otherwise, One Ninja could take out a ship full of pirates before they even knew what hit them. 

fezident

07-16-2006, 07:49 PM

Maybe. Just maaaybe, a bunch of Pirates could gang-rape a ninja to death.

Death Metal Moe

07-16-2006, 07:50 PM

fezident wrote: Maybe. Just maaaybe, a bunch of Pirates could gang-rape a ninja to death.Not if Ronnie B has anything to say about it!

Death Metal Moe

07-16-2006, 07:51 PM

evedder wrote: i would like to hear an explanation for these pirate votes.  i just don't get it. Yes.  Currently we're at 7 Ninja votes and 4 Pirate votes.I DEMAND to know who thinks PIrates would win and why!

Fallon

07-16-2006, 07:52 PM

Can ninjas swim?

HBox

07-16-2006, 07:53 PM

Pirates fight dirty and have ships. I don't see any Ninjas with any ships. While those stupid ninjas are swimming out to the ship the pirates are firing their cannons and throwing their harpoons and firing their guns and whatnot.

Fallon

07-16-2006, 07:57 PM

Oh snap!
http://www.japannewbie.com/images/journal/ninja/ninja_mizugumo1.jpg

ADF

07-16-2006, 07:57 PM

The only way a pirate would beat a ninja is with his guns and he gets a lucky shot.On a side note, does anyone know the derivation of "hands down"? 

This message was edited by ADF on 7-16-06 @ 11:58 PM

fezident

07-16-2006, 07:58 PM

Yarrr... Pirates be better at Dodgeball. Yarr.

chili

07-16-2006, 08:09 PM

Ninjas were just fuckin puppets for The Man back in the day. They protected inept and lazy rulers from the earnest criticisms of their people. They were somebody's bitches.Pirates, on the other hand, didn't work for anybody and pillaged and raped like vikings. They weren't bowing down to any master. And I'm not talkin about fucking privateers who stole shit for other governments. And ninjas wouldn't win in a fight anyway because pirates have fucking GUNS and CANNONS.

fezident

07-16-2006, 08:12 PM

chili wrote:  And ninjas wouldn't win in a fight anyway because pirates have fucking GUNS and CANNONS. But, they also have RICKETS and SCURVY. Yarrr.

ADF

07-16-2006, 08:15 PM

I think we need more clearly-defined ground rules to make a true estimation.  Starting location?  Distance?  Weapons?  Level of inebriation?  This is all critical data.  Vitally critical.

JustJon

07-17-2006, 09:36 AM

JustJon

07-17-2006, 01:00 PM

FreshJ

07-17-2006, 05:44 PM

Ninjas will win due to numbers, there are tons of them and they just keep coming, there are only at most 50 pirates to a ship, so mainly it is due to numbers and stealth.  Pirates are not Pirates due to intellegence. Ninjas are known to know how to fight, ninjas would board the ship late at night and be stealthy and hide amongst the Pirates, therefore ninjas win.  The only way for a pirate to win, is to outlast the swarms of ninjas.

DarkHippie

07-17-2006, 05:51 PM

ninjas were used as spys and scouts, not warriors.  They rarely used any weapon other than something they could disguise as a tool, like a staff or a sickle.  Pirates have guns and cannons.  Ninjas wouldn't have a chance.

PapaBear

07-17-2006, 06:35 PM

<a href="http://globaldistortion.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=50&Itemid=27" target="_self">We're not the only people discussing this...</a>

CuzBum

07-17-2006, 06:38 PM

DarkHippie wrote: ninjas were used as spys and scouts, not warriors.  They rarely used any weapon other than something they could disguise as a tool, like a staff or a sickle.  Pirates have guns and cannons.  Ninjas wouldn't have a chance. Ya but I saw all the Ninja's kick ass weapons on the R Lee Ermey show.

fezident

07-17-2006, 06:39 PM

JustJon

07-18-2006, 09:43 AM

PapaBear wrote: <a target="_self" href="http://globaldistortion.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=50&Itemid=27">We're not the only people discussing this...</a>  It's been an internet thing since about late last year, I just decided to bring it here... <img width="300" height="225" border="0" src="http://iamdevyn.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/dscn7559.jpg.w300h225.jpg" />

SinA

07-18-2006, 11:18 AM

Vote wisely.  It happens more often than you think. <a href="http://www.redandblack.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2006/04/13/443dd07e60128?in_archive=1">http://www.redandblack.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2006/04/13/443dd07e60128?in_archive=1</a>

Skellington

07-18-2006, 12:49 PM

This has been answered in video form.<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM7HaF_9y6Q">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM7HaF_9y6Q</a>

OS101

07-18-2006, 05:52 PM

<a href="http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm">http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm</a> I think this story answers the question, btw that is the best ninja site out there!  Go to Pumpup2 and click on The Pirate Dance

This message was edited by OS101 on 7-18-06 @ 9:52 PM

chili

07-22-2006, 10:11 AM

JustJon wrote: PapaBear wrote: <a href="http://globaldistortion.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=50&Itemid=27" target="_self">We're not the only people discussing this...</a> It's been an internet thing since about late last year, I just decided to bring it here...     It's been an internet thing for at least 4 or 5 years. Real Ultimate Power started the pro-ninja set going.

ChimneyFish

07-22-2006, 12:19 PM

wbskellington2 wrote: This has been answered in video form.<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM7HaF_9y6Q">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM7HaF_9y6Q</a>Well if you're going to be biased about it, then let's do this thang. <a href="http://askaninja.com/">http://askaninja.com/</a>  (and look for the "minjas" clip. hilarious)  And the line of the thread: "The Ninjas could perform all kinds of asskickery"

Furtherman

09-25-2007, 11:17 AM

King Hippos Bandaid

09-25-2007, 11:29 AM

What type of Ninja

There are Kick Ass Ninjas, then there are Foot Soldiers who are the Storm Trooper Equivalent in Ninja Turtles . The Jabroni Ninjas who job to Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris.

It Depends on what Ninjas, all pirates bring their "A" Game

:king:

Furtherman

09-25-2007, 11:43 AM

The ninjas in the video aren't real ninjas.

They would have taken out the video and lights with some throwing stars. No survivors!

RoyMunson

09-27-2007, 07:54 AM

Ninjas

ralphbxny

09-27-2007, 08:03 AM

NINJAS....Fuck Face!!

Crispy123

09-27-2007, 08:34 AM

I am lumping in vikings here with pirates. Pirates also caused the British to build their naval empire. Any military superpower has to have a superior naval force. You could make the argument that ninjas influenced special forces but you must have a decent naval force to even begin with SF.

JustJon

09-27-2007, 09:13 AM

I am lumping in vikings here with pirates.
Then you are mistaken. Vikings are not Pirates.

Crispy123

09-27-2007, 09:26 AM

Then you are mistaken. Vikings are not Pirates.

Butt-Pirates :wink::wink::wink:

Team_Ramrod

09-27-2007, 02:52 PM

This isn't even a close one. There is no way a pirate will ever beat a ninja.

Ninja - Throwing star
Pirate - ?? parrot ??

Ninja - Stealth
Pirate - loud

Pirates might have cannons to shoot at the ninjas, but what do cannons give off when they are fired?

Smoke!

What do ninjas appear out of?

Smoke!

Have you ever seen American Ninja?

There is no way it's even close.... even as cool as Captain Jack it.

grlNIN

09-27-2007, 07:00 PM

Nothing beats a Spynga, NOTHING.

Furtherman

04-04-2008, 11:11 AM

Look out ninjas!!

Pirates seized control of a French luxury yacht carrying 30 crew members Friday off the coast of Somalia, the French government and the ship's owner said. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080404/ap_on_re_as/somalia_pirate_attack;_ylt=AqlGhSpkddsR1lWMEzmYsjl vaA8F)

The International Maritime Bureau, which tracks piracy, said in its annual report earlier this year that global pirate attacks rose 10 percent in 2007, marking the first increase in three years.

nate1000

04-04-2008, 11:18 AM

http://roflberries.info/images/ninjas.jpg

Furtherman

09-19-2008, 01:08 PM

i will kill sea dogs an' land lubbers who voted fer ninjas!!

BlackSpider

09-19-2008, 01:33 PM

i will kill sea dogs an' land lubbers who voted fer ninjas!!

I voted for ninjas.
By the way, ninjas had guns long before pirates.
it was a long tube that used gun-powder to fire a projectile.
standard firearms weren't around in fuedal japan.
so they adapted a lot of farming tools as their weapons.
Lets not forget they also had bows back then,
and I'd rather have a bow and arrow than a flint-lock pistol.
You get one shot with a muzzle-loader, and a couple of minutes to reload.
If the pirates are fighting the ninjas, that implies that they're both fighting during the same period in time. Thus the same weaponry would be available to both sides.
Any ninja that would be around today would surely use a standard firearm, most likely with a silencer.

Face Face...

Here's how the pirates would look -:surrender::surrender::surrender::surrender:

Tall_James

09-19-2008, 01:39 PM

Pirates are distracted by rum and buggery.

Ninjas sneak up and slice throats.

Ninjas win.

jennysmurf

09-19-2008, 01:40 PM

Pirates are drunk all the time. Have you ever seen a drunk guy try to fight? I have, and it's funny for all the wrong reasons.

midwestjeff

09-19-2008, 01:41 PM

Pirates are distracted by rum and buggery.

Ninjas sneak up and slice throats.

Ninjas win.

If they are so great then why isn't there a "talk like a ninja day"?

Hmmmmmm?

BlackSpider

09-19-2008, 01:43 PM

lets not forget, nobody ever saw a ninja with a cabin-boy...
How gay is that??? Ninjas board the ship, and the captain can't give any orders,
because he has a young lad stuck on his penis...:smoke:

Tall_James

09-19-2008, 01:43 PM

If they are so great then why isn't there a "talk like a ninja day"?

Hmmmmmm?

Ninjas are silent....deadly. You can't talk like a ninja cuz they don't talk Mr. Smart Guy.

midwestjeff

09-19-2008, 01:46 PM

I've never seen a ninja porn, but I've sure seen this one.
http://www.lethaldeath.com/Crimson/Images/ResidentDVDvil/Pirates%20R%20Rated.jpg

Furtherman

09-19-2008, 01:49 PM

YE BARNACLE SCALLWA....

holy fuck i'm pirated out. have a nice weekend.

donk.

Jughead

09-19-2008, 01:54 PM

Don't pirates have those smokey single shot pistols.....To Blow there heads off????..Oh and those pesky cannons ..

patsopinion

09-19-2008, 02:03 PM

I like how we're all assuming that the Pirates would be on a boat.  As if they never go on land. Yarr.  And...yeah, Pirates have guns and shit but, don't they have to refill 'em with gunpowder or something after every firing?  The Ninjas could perform all kinds of asskickery while those drunk-ass Pirates are pouring that powder down the barrel.Squaaawk.  Advantage: Ninjas!  Squaaawk.    .

This message was edited by fezident on 7-17-06 @ 10:40 PM

i pirate on land is just a drunkard
what makes him a pirate is his ship
if a ninja were just hanging out sipping tea or whatever gay shit ninjas do then would he still be a ninja or just some dude

i think its implied in the name pirate that he is raping and pillaging with a ship
therefore pirates win

because ninjas dont have ships

or else they would just be pirates

therefore pirates win

britneypablo

09-19-2008, 02:22 PM

my students wont stop saying nigga so i have finally got them to settle on saying ninja....i like ninjas but i hate.......

BlackSpider

09-19-2008, 02:40 PM

my students wont stop saying nigga so i have finally got them to settle on saying ninja....i like ninjas but i hate.......

Pirates???

AnnoyedGrunt

09-19-2008, 02:56 PM

Any ninja that would be around today would surely use a standard firearm, most likely with a silencer.

Many historians feels that the uzi would be the firearm of choice for the ninja of modern times.

http://usversusthem.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/snakeeyes-cartoon.jpg

Furtherman

10-16-2008, 07:55 AM

Sure, ninjas can sneak up on you... but can they create the credit crunch?

As the world’s money markets do their best to combat the Credit Crunch, a University of Sunderland politics lecturer has discovered that the root of modern democracy’s money woes may lay with the first corporations – pirates. (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/10/081015110751.htm)

“In the 17th and 18th century privateers were backed by financiers, much like modern multi-national PLCs. The way that privateering was operating back in the golden age of buccaneering, is that a group of individuals come together, and agree to kit out a ship to sail the seven seas to see if they can pull in some gold. It was a global gamble for enormous rewards. These predatory voyages are the roots of modern venture capitalism, with these modern multi-national corporations out to get all they can get. That’s the sort privateering that led to the Credit Crunch.”

Dr Hayes argues that this raises troubling questions about whether rights in modern democratic states can truly be said to be human rights, as opposed to the rights held only by a select few corporations.

Privateering was encouraged by governments including England where it was considered perfectly acceptable to capture a Spanish ship as long the Crown got a cut of the booty. Pirates even set up their own states in places like Madagascar, where they could hide their wealth from governments, and also share information – rather similar to offshore bank accounts for modern businesses.

RAAMONE

10-16-2008, 08:15 AM

maybe in the Bonds/Bonilla years but now...i take the ninjas

WhoEvenAreYou

10-16-2008, 07:40 PM

I knew a sad old man with a mustache that was obsessed with pirates. He would make lame jokes about them all the time and talk like one too. Pair that with the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and I swore off pirates forever.

Ninjas.

furie

10-17-2008, 03:19 PM

http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/sports/piratesvsninjasdodgeball/index.html

vagina envy

10-17-2008, 03:38 PM

ninja vs old school sail boat pirates, ninja wins hands down. Ninja vs present day speed boat automatic weapons pirates, I have to go pirates as long as the night watchman doesn't get distracted or doze off.

star queen

10-17-2008, 03:54 PM

those ninjas meditate and practice a lot and some of them can even shoot energy out of their belly buttons so I think they have more magical powers than the pirates and can more easily overtake the pirates

vagina envy

10-17-2008, 04:12 PM

which ever one drinks more 5 hour energy will win hands down

Furtherman

11-17-2008, 12:30 PM

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/WORLD/africa/11/17/kenya.tanker.pirates/art.sirius.star2.ap.jpg

Pirates take 'super tanker' towards Somalia (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/11/17/kenya.tanker.pirates/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)

"It was attacked more than 450 nautical offshore of Mombasa. This means that the pirates are now operating in an area of over 1.1 million square miles. This is a measure of the determination of the pirates and ... a measure of how lucrative piracy could become," Campbell said.

MOSCOW, Russia (CNN) -- Russian and British ships repelled a pirate attack on a Danish ship in the Gulf of Aden, the Russian navy said Wednesday. (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/11/12/pirates.attack.russia.britain/index.html)

Pirates have caused havoc off the coast of Somalia, hijacking 33 ships this year.

Elsewhere, pirates hijacked a Turkish-flagged ship carrying 4,500 tons of chemicals and 14 crew off Yemen's coast.

cougarjake13

11-17-2008, 12:50 PM

ninjas

midwestjeff

11-17-2008, 12:51 PM

ninjas

pirates

cougarjake13

11-17-2008, 12:53 PM

pirates

the pirates have sucked since 1992

midwestjeff

11-17-2008, 12:56 PM

the pirates have sucked since 1992

the ninjas have sucked since 457 B.C.

cougarjake13

11-17-2008, 12:58 PM

the ninjas have sucked since 457 B.C.

ninjas dont believe in christ

JPMNICK

11-17-2008, 01:01 PM

it's Ninja's hands down

midwestjeff

11-17-2008, 01:01 PM

ninjas dont believe in christ

And besides that, what else do they have going for them?

Nothing.

Exactly.

underdog

11-17-2008, 06:21 PM

Whatever happened with the ship the pirates hijacked and then they all got really sick and started dying of radiation poisoning?

Furtherman

11-18-2008, 09:04 AM

More piracy!

THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS UPDATE. Check back soon for further information. AP's earlier story is below.

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (AP) - The U.S. Navy says a cargo ship has been hijacked off the Somalia coast - the latest in a series of attacks by pirates operating out of the African country.

Navy Commander Jane Campbell of the Bahrain-based 5th Fleet says the 26,000-ton bulk cargo carrier was attacked Tuesday in the Gulf of Aden.

She says the ship was flying a Hong Kong flag but is operated by the Islamic Republic of Iran Shipping Lines.

The status of the crew or its cargo were not known. Campbell says the ship is likely heading toward an anchorage site off the Somali coast.

The ship's name or other details were not immediately known.

Furtherman

11-19-2008, 06:48 AM

It's a full out battle on the high seas!

India: Pirate 'mother ship' left in flames (http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/11/19/somalia.pirates/index.html?iref=mpstoryview)

Another article I read this morning said that pirates captured something like 17 boats in just the past few weeks.

Yo Ho! Yo Ho!

Furtherman

11-20-2008, 01:58 PM

Live Piracy Map!

This map shows all the piracy and armed robbery incidents reported to the IMB Piracy Reporting Centre during 2008. (http://www.icc-ccs.org/index.php?option=com_fabrik&view=visualization&controller=visualization.googlemap&Itemid=89) If exact coordinates are not provided, estimated positions are shown based on information provided. Zoom-in and click on the pointers to view more information of an individual attack. Pointers may be superimposed on each other.

http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/io9/2008/11/livepiracy.jpg

Furtherman

12-02-2008, 10:41 AM

Pirates Chase, Fire on US Cruise Ship (http://news.aol.com/article/luxury-cruise-ship-outruns-pirates/264468?icid=100214839x1214102590x1200897585)

http://www.aolcdn.com/_media/kegallerypub/blank.gif

The luxury cruise ship Nautica was the target of a pirate attack in the Gulf of Aden, martitime authorities said Tuesday. On Sunday, a band of pirates on two skiffs tried to intercept the liner, firing off eight shots. But the ship's captain increased speed and outran the bandits. The Nautica, carrying 1,000 people, arrived safely in Oman.