I found out this weekend I only have one kidney

[Tall_James]

<p>...but its fucking huge!</p><p>I had to go in for a CAT scan this weekend for medical reasons and when the test was done, the radiologist&nbsp; told me that I had a &quot;horseshoe kidney&quot;.&nbsp;&nbsp;This is term for when&nbsp;both kidneys are fused together in early embryonic life; thereby giving me a single kidney (with 2 functioning sides) and the lamest mutation EVER!&nbsp;</p><p>Here's one of the less-gross pictures of the condition.</p><p><img height="473" src="http://www.rcsed.ac.uk/journal/svol1_3/10314.gif" width="400" border="0" /></p><p>&nbsp;I guess its still better than having webbed toes or being Italian. (just kidding.&nbsp; webbed toes make for great swimming)</p><p>What sort of genetically freakish traits do you have?</p>

[reeshy]

FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Death Metal Moe]

<p>I'm not sure what direction this thread will take, but rest assured, it will be beautiful.</p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>reeshy</strong> wrote:<br />FREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <p>Does this mean I can't marry into your family?</p>

[reeshy]

Oh yea...to answer you're question.....when I pull my pants down, most girls scream, &quot;You're NOT sticking that thing in me&quot;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !<br />



<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by reeshy on 4-10-06 @ 6:22 PM</span>

[Tall_James]

<strong>Death Metal Moe</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm not sure what direction this thread will take, but rest assured, it will be beautiful.</p><p>Sometimes you have to throw yourself into the barrel to bring out the best and worst&nbsp;posts possible.&nbsp; </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Tall_James on 4-10-06 @ 6:23 PM</span>

[PapaBear]

I'm left-eyed. I can't really describe the test you do to determine it. Also, the story I read about it several years ago, said that scientist haven't found any reason to believe that left-eyed is better or worse than right-eyed, but apparently less than one percent of the population is like this.

[Tall_James]

<strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br />I'm left-eyed. I can't really describe the test you do to determine it. Also, the story I read about it several years ago, said that scientist haven't found any reason to believe that left-eyed is better or worse than right-eyed, but apparently less than one percent of the population is like this. <p>What's so bad about that?&nbsp; As a matter of fact there's an open job waiting for you as the third vocalist for TLC.&nbsp; Just don't do any driving in Honduras.</p>

[torker]

<p>the radiologist&nbsp; told me that I had a &quot;horseshoe kidney&quot;.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p>You are a lucky guy.</p>

[PapaBear]

I tried out for TLC, but didn't get it. I was close, but close only counts in horseshoe kidneys and hand grenades.

[Bulldogcakes]

I have an idea. Call a pool installer and tell him you want a kidney shaped swimming pool. Then when he asks to get paid, get all upset and show him your kidney. Then make him fix it, or give it to you for free.<br />

[Death Metal Moe]

<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>Death Metal Moe</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm not sure what direction this thread will take, but rest assured, it will be beautiful.</p><p>Sometimes you have to throw yourself into the barrel to bring out the best and worst&nbsp;posts possible.&nbsp; </p><p>So, how long do you take in the shower James?</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

<p> </p><br /><p> </p>the radiologist told me that I had a &quot;horseshoe kidney&quot;. <p> </p><img width="260" height="333" border="0" src="http://www.nndb.com/people/409/000022343/adclay-med.jpg" /><br /><p> </p><p> </p><p>To match the crabs in your pants, bitch! Ohhhhh! </p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 4-10-06 @ 6:41 PM</span>

[Bulldogcakes]

<p><img width="260" height="333" border="0" src="http://www.nndb.com/people/409/000022343/adclay-med.jpg" /></p><p>&quot;Hey doc, could ya check my balls too? Whats that? No I dont think they're stuck together or nothin. I just wanted you to grab my balls. You're kinda cute&quot;<br /></p>

[Fallon]

<p><span class="postbody">thereby giving me a single kidney (with 2 functioning sides) and the lamest mutation EVER!</span></p><p><img width="360" height="500" border="0" src="http://home.comcast.net/~bob80/xmen3.jpg" />&nbsp;</p>

[Death Metal Moe]

<br /><p><img height="333" src="http://www.nndb.com/people/409/000022343/adclay-med.jpg" width="260" border="0" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Hickory Dickory Doc.</p><p>The doctors&nbsp;CAT scanned&nbsp;my jock.</p><p>Upon further review</p><p>my kidney's shape like a horseshoe</p><p>That explains the equestrian size cock!</p>

[mikeyboy]

<p>Okay, one time on Ron &amp; Fez when they were on in DC, this woman called up.&nbsp; She only had one kidney because she donated it to some woman in her office who needed one (she didn't even really know her that well apparently).&nbsp; Anyway, years later, she gets stabbed, except she gets stabbed in the area where there used to be a kidney and because nothing was there, she was okay.&nbsp; The doctor told her that the fact that she donated a kidney may have actually saved her life.&nbsp; ...and then Perrynoid wrote a catchy song about it.&nbsp;&nbsp;All of this is background to explain why reading T_J's post has gotten Perry's song&nbsp;stuck in my head.</p>

[Death Metal Moe]

and THEN what happened?

[Marc with a c]

<strong>Death Metal Moe</strong> wrote:<br /><p>I'm not sure what direction this thread will take, but rest assured, it will be beautiful.</p><p><img title="http://deyalexander.com/asoup/gallery/sydney.html" height="96" alt="" src="http://images.picsearch.com/is?71772830957" width="128" border="0" /></p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>Fallon</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p><span class="postbody">thereby giving me a single kidney (with 2 functioning sides) and the lamest mutation EVER! </span><p>&nbsp;</p><p><img height="500" src="http://home.comcast.net/~bob80/xmen3.jpg" width="360" border="0" />&nbsp;</p><p>I'm smiling like that because I just farted in Professor X's face.</p><p>That is brilliant Fallon, thanks.</p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>mikeyboy</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Okay, one time on Ron &amp; Fez when they were on in DC, this woman called up.&nbsp; She only had one kidney because she donated it to some woman in her office who needed one (she didn't even really know her that well apparently).&nbsp; Anyway, years later, she gets stabbed, except she gets stabbed in the area where there used to be a kidney and because nothing was there, she was okay.&nbsp; The doctor told her that the fact that she donated a kidney may have actually saved her life.&nbsp; ...and then Perrynoid wrote a catchy song about it.&nbsp;&nbsp;All of this is background to explain why reading T_J's post has gotten Perry's song&nbsp;stuck in my head.</p><p>Where's my song Perry? Where's my parade?</p>

[HBox]

<p>I was so sure this thread would involve a vacation in Honduras, a waking up in bathtub full of ice, and a note imporing you to get to the hospital as soon as possible.</p><p>Huddla Huddla!<br /></p>

[sr71blackbird]

Its not the size of the ship; its the motion of the ocean

[Marc with a c]

<strong>HBox</strong> wrote:<br /><font color="#000080"><font size="2">I was so sure this thread would involve a vacation in Honduras, a waking up in bathtub full of ice, and a note imporing you to get to the hospital as soon as possible.</font></font><font color="#000080"><font size="2"> <p>Huddla Huddla!<br /></p></font></font><p>i know a guy that happened to.</p><p>but they left his toothbrush</p>

[EliSnow]

<p><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="3">Mutie scum.</font></p>

[Hottub]

<p>I too have a malady!</p><p>After looking over my body work on this board, after all these years. It is painfully obvious.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I was born without a Funny Bone!</p>

[Don Stugots]

I only have one testicle. hench the name Stugots1. I lost the other one in a poker game.

[Mike from Bklyn]

My Mother in Law has a kidney transplant. She now has three kidneys.
They put the new kidneys in the abdomen area. So if you punch her in
the stomach it's a kidney shot.

[PapaBear]

<strong>STUGOTS1</strong> wrote:<br />I only have one testicle. hench the name Stugots1. I lost the other one in a poker game. <p>If that's true, then you sir, have the coolest name on the board.</p>

[samnyc]

How many penises (peni) do you have?

[Tall_James]

<strong>samnyc</strong> wrote:<br />How many penises (peni) do you have? <p>Are you talking to the guy with the giant kidney or the guy with one testicle?&nbsp; You need to be more specific in questioning the deformed.</p>

[tele7]

<p><img src="http://www.journey.transweb.org/kidney_options/education/art/drawings/29_e_kidney_donors_say_medal.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>I'm going to miss <em>you</em> most of all James</p>

[AngelAmy]

well i have 2 eyes................

[blakjeezis]

My nephew only has one big lung.<br />

[Reephdweller]

If it makes you feel any better, I have a kidney shaped pool.

[Tall_James]

<strong>AngelAmy</strong> wrote:<br />well i have 2 eyes................ <p>Well, if you had my condition you'd look like this -</p><p><img height="553" src="http://members.iinet.net.au/~sauterp/funny/leela.jpg" width="455" border="0" /></p>

[FezPaul]

<p>Did you say kidney shaped tool?</p><p>ew</p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>Reefdweller</strong> wrote:<br />If it makes you feel any better, I have a kidney shaped pool. <p>It doesn't but thanks for trying.&nbsp; Perhaps if you merge it with your neighbor's pool?</p>

[EQ]

<p><img src="http://www.take-care.com/img/neck/ushapepers.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p>

[AngelAmy]

<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br /><strong>AngelAmy</strong> wrote:<br />well i have 2 eyes................ <p>Well, if you had my condition you'd look like this -</p><p><img height="553" src="http://members.iinet.net.au/~sauterp/funny/leela.jpg" width="455" border="0" /></p><p>that would be hot!</p>

[Tall_James]

<strong>Elle Quinn</strong> wrote:<br /><p><img src="http://www.take-care.com/img/neck/ushapepers.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>Hi sweetie - you can use my internal organs to rest on anytime.</p>

[tele7]

<strong>blakjeezis</strong> wrote:<br />My nephew only has one big lung.<br /><p><img src="http://www.ctgilles.net/images/pictars/dr.evil_one_miliion_dollars.jpg" border="0" /></p><p>is it an aqualung?</p>

[FUNKMAN]

i used to have two kidneys but now i've grown up and now have two manneys...

[A.J.]

<strong>torker</strong> wrote:<br /><p>&nbsp;</p>the radiologist&nbsp; told me that I had a &quot;horseshoe kidney&quot;.&nbsp;&nbsp; <p>&nbsp;</p><p>You are a lucky guy.</p><p>And it's turned &quot;up&quot; so the luck won't run out.</p>

[Marc with a c]

<p>forget i is unfunny</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by evedder on 4-11-06 @ 9:28 AM</span>

[bobrobot]

<p><strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote: the radiologist&nbsp; told me that I had a &quot;horseshoe kidney&quot;.&nbsp;&nbsp;This is term for when&nbsp;both kidneys are fused together in early embryonic life; thereby giving me a single kidney (with 2 functioning sides)&nbsp;&nbsp;</p><p><strong><font color="#000099">If it's upside down, it'll hold the luck (&amp; the urine) in. </font></strong></p><p><strong><font color="#000099">You should name 1 side Chang &amp; the other side Eng...</font></strong></p><p><img height="360" src="http://www.racontours.com/Pic's/NS/chang-&-eng.gif" width="244" border="0" /></p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by bobogolem on 4-11-06 @ 10:27 AM</span>

[Gvac]

<p>Only one kidney?&nbsp; Gross!</p><p>Thank God he moved to Massachusetts with the rest of the freaks. &nbsp;</p>

[FUNKMAN]

<p>in australia that would be called a boomerang...</p>

[Hottub]

<strong>Gvac</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Only one kidney?&nbsp; Gross!</p><p>Thank God he moved to Massachusetts with the rest of the freaks. &nbsp;</p><p><img height="195" src="http://home.comcast.net/~crews11/Eric_Cartman.gif" width="208" border="0" /></p><p>&quot;Why don't you move to San Fransico, with the rest of the Jews!&quot;</p>

[UnknownPD]

<p>CAT scan this weekend for <font size="2">&quot;medical reasons&quot;</font> </p><p>as opposed to CAT scans for fun and profit....you place tiny cat scans in small newspapers around the country....</p>

[jax]

<p>Way more impressive than my 2, count em 2, uvulas.</p>

[mendyweiss]

By the appearance of your diagram James, It seems that your ureters have retrograde flow. It will only be a matter of time that you will be pissing out of your nose!

[SatCam]

Way more impressive than my 2, count em 2, uvulas.

You ever have two people punch them at once?

http://images.trade-express.com/jonexsports/pcat-gifs/products-small/boxingkitbags.jpg

[jax]

<p>NO <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> </p><p>holy shit I thought I was adding a smiley face.&nbsp; Where did this come from?</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by jax on 4-11-06 @ 6:38 PM</span>

[Hottub]

<strong>SatCam</strong> wrote:<br />Way more impressive than my 2, count em 2, uvulas. You ever have two <font style="background-color: #ffff33">Guys</font> punch them at once? <img src="http://images.trade-express.com/jonexsports/pcat-gifs/products-small/boxingkitbags.jpg" border="0" /> <p>*I think this was his REAL question.*</p>

[jax]

people/guy - either way how does a colon and a paren smile get a kiss dude?

[landarch]

<strong>Tall_James</strong> wrote:<br /><p>What's so bad about that?&nbsp; As a matter of fact there's an open job waiting for you as the third vocalist for TLC.&nbsp; Just don't do any driving in Honduras.</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><img height="20" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/thumbup.gif" width="33" border="0" /></p>

[IrishAlkey]

<p>I found out I only have one cock.</p><p>I didn't read the thread.</p><p>I hope that was original.</p>

[blakjeezis]

<p>Original? I guess.</p><p>Funny? Not even remotely. &nbsp;</p>

[Mike Teacher]

<strong>PapaBear</strong> wrote:<br />I'm left-eyed. I can't really describe the test you do to determine it. Also, the story I read about it several years ago, said that scientist haven't found any reason to believe that left-eyed is better or worse than right-eyed, but apparently less than one percent of the population is like this. <p>To determine which eye is dominant:</p><p>Look at an object in the distance, and hold up a finger at arm's length to cover up said object.</p><p>Next, Open and close each eye. When you close one eye, the object will still be blocked, when you close the other, the object will be off to the side a bit, your dominant eye is the one where when you close it, the object is still blocked.</p><p>Some other genetic traits; who has what?</p><p>Attached/detached earlobes: Some have earlobes that hang, some fuse right to the body.</p><p>Mid-Digital hair: the middle digits of our&nbsp;finger have hair, for some, not for others.</p><p>Handedness: aside from lefty/righty, grasp your hands together interlocking fingers. Which thumb is up top? Some have the left, some the right. </p><p>Tongue Rolling: Some can, some cant.</p><p>Cleft chin, dimples, Widow's peak are some others.</p><p>Freak!</p>

[Freakshow]

<p>I also freakishly have a part of my body that has fused...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>My two individual eyebrows have fused together, forming one single Superbrow!&nbsp; Whether it saves my life will remain to be seen...</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p>I have the mid-digit hair thing, too.&nbsp; I'm not called Freakshow for nothin'</p>

[WhistlePig]

I've got double jointed toes that bend backward. My nieces and nephews love 'em.

[Tall_James]

<strong>WhistlePig</strong> wrote:<br />I've got double jointed toes that bend backward. My nieces and nephews love 'em. <p>I'd rather have that.</p>