BJ Etiquette [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

katie78

04-05-2006, 11:01 AM

Last night I was giving head as usual and this person actually had the nerve to try to choke me with his manhood. Therefore I had to stop and relay the following:Blow job Etiquette 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.2. Extension to rule ..1- So if you get one, be grateful.3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.4. Extension to rule ..3- No I DON'T have to swallow.5. My ears are NOT handles.6. Extension to rule..5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart.8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you, YOU just can't have sex right now.9. Extension to ..8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls, if you are that desperate go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're goin' at it. See also rule ..2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough,keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning."

suggums

04-05-2006, 11:06 AM

guess someones never seen a brandon iron film

Death Metal Moe

04-05-2006, 11:10 AM

Umm yea.Just get out of the car honey, I don't need a questionaire with my date.

mendyweiss

04-05-2006, 11:11 AM

two fitty?

suggums

04-05-2006, 11:14 AM

in the process of relaying the list, did you stop all sexual activity, go get on your computer and google "blowjob ettiquette" then read it to him?  cause that actually would've been funny.ive got the man's rebuttal ready to cut and paste too whenever we're ready

torker

04-05-2006, 11:17 AM

There's only one rule: Watch your teeth!  You're sucking a dick, not scaling a fish.   

grlNIN

04-05-2006, 11:20 AM

I'm sure your policy on handjobs is thrilling.

Marc with a c

04-05-2006, 11:23 AM

katie78 wrote: Last
night I was giving head as usual ... 
 what are you up to tonight? <blockquote />

SatCam

04-05-2006, 11:23 AM

This thread turns me on

Jennitalia

04-05-2006, 11:37 AM

No offense, but your attitude towards the cock just sucks balls  1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. Yes we are2. Extension to rule ..1- So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. To each his own4. Extension to rule ..3- No I DON'T have to swallow. Yes, as a woman, you do!!5. My ears are NOT handles. They need something to hold onto and direct.6. Extension to rule..5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart. You do have a point there.8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you, YOU just can't have sex right now. Consider yourself lucky. Some guys think that having your period means it's anal week9. Extension to ..8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls, if you are that desperate go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. Be a woman and suck it10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. Good point11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're goin' at it. See also rule ..2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. I think it's a yummy treat14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV. Party pooper 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough,keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. Says who?16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning." You must be a thrill to wake up to every morning

UnknownPD

04-05-2006, 11:38 AM

There's only one rule: Watch your teeth!  You're sucking a dick, not scaling a fishYou gotta be kidding me... What's the point of a BJ without teeth.

curtoid

04-05-2006, 11:42 AM

I'm sure you are awesome, and what fella wouldn't call himself Mr. Lucky, but why do I have a feeling that if you weren't sucking dudes as you normally do on "American Idol" night, that you'd be finding something else to put in your mouth.<img height="417" src="http://www.kevhead.com/images16/0813%20our%20staff%20fat%20girl.jpg" width="435" border="0" />

katie78

04-05-2006, 11:44 AM

suggums wrote: ive got the man's rebuttal ready to cut and paste too whenever we're ready I'd be curious to see what the rebuttal is......

J.Clints

04-05-2006, 11:46 AM

Guys lets put together a reply.....like just shut up and rap your lips around it.

This message was edited by jclintsma on 4-5-06 @ 3:47 PM

ChimneyFish

04-05-2006, 11:49 AM

You forgot about rule #17.During no sex/period week,  feel free to jerk off and cum in my shoes.

SatCam

04-05-2006, 11:50 AM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">BJ Etiquette<hr color="cococo" align="left">
<ul>
<li>Don't slurp</li>
<li>Don't talk with your mouth full</li>
<li>Keep your elbows off the table</li>
</ul>

This message was edited by SatCam on 4-5-06 @ 3:50 PM

torker

04-05-2006, 11:52 AM

Don't forget my balls

katie78

04-05-2006, 11:52 AM

Some of the things I'm willing to overlook. However a guy with more pubic hair than a yedi or just has poor dick upkeep is not acceptable.....And unless you want me to have your dick for a snack I suggest that you not shove it in my mouth like a tongue depressor.....and last but not least cumming on a girls face is not acceptable until science can prove the protein is better for my skin than my current mud mask.

This message was edited by katie78 on 4-5-06 @ 3:53 PM

EliSnow

04-05-2006, 11:54 AM

katie78 wrote: and last but not least the money shot is not acceptable until science can prove it works better than my current mud mask.  I don't know about science, but how about Liz Phair:H.W.C. Lyrics - Liz PhairGive it to me, don't give it away Don't think about what the others say My skins getting clear, my hairs so bright All you do is fuck me every day and night You're my secret beauty routine Na, na, na, na, what my body has seen I am lookin' good and I'm feeling nice Baby you're the best magazine advice Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum I'm gonna pull you back down between the sheets Everything is fresher when the day is sweet In the morning light when you're already on the phone Face it, one of these days Without you I'm just another Dorian Gray It's the fountain of youth It's the meaning of life So hot, so sweet, so wet my appetite Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Face it, one of these days Without you I'm just another Dorian Gray It's the fountain of youth It's the meaning of life Baby you're the best magazine advice Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Gimme your hot white cum Your hot white cum

ChimneyFish

04-05-2006, 11:54 AM

katie78 wrote:  Some of the things I'm willing to overlook. However a guy with more pubic hair than a yedi or just has poor dick upkeep is not acceptable.....And unless you want me to have your dick for a snack I suggest that you not shove it in my mouth like a tongue depressor.....and last but not least cumming on a girls face is not acceptable until science can prove the protein is better for my skin than my current mud mask.So, you're into scat, too????

This message was edited by ChimneyFish on 4-5-06 @ 3:57 PM

Jennitalia

04-05-2006, 11:55 AM

i can understand the hair thing.  and there are worse things than getting shot in the face?  Ever take a shot up the nose?  It's somewhat painful, yet thrilling.  Thanks again, JJ

curtoid

04-05-2006, 11:59 AM

Get over the hair - not everyone is metrosexual, or 12.

Jennitalia

04-05-2006, 12:03 PM

so you wouldnt have a problem eating out a girl with an earth momma muff?

SatCam

04-05-2006, 12:04 PM

cumming on a girls face is not acceptable until science can prove the protein is better for my skin than my current mud mask.

You let the guy shit on your face? Kinky

reeshy

04-05-2006, 12:05 PM

That's nothing but nature's dental floss!!!!!!!!! Jennitalia wrote: so you wouldnt have a problem eating out a girl with an earth momma muff?

torker

04-05-2006, 12:16 PM

Jennitalia wrote: so you wouldnt have a problem eating out a girl with an earth momma muff?Problem? I'd pay extra.

Gvac

04-05-2006, 12:22 PM

No offense katie78, but I like Jennitalia's rules better.  <img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/bye.gif" />And for the record, I'm a big fan of the "look Ma, no hands" BJ myself.

curtoid

04-05-2006, 12:23 PM

Jennitalia wrote: so you wouldnt have a problem eating out a girl with an earth momma muff?I was raised on 70s porn.

EliSnow

04-05-2006, 12:25 PM

Katie, where do you stand on ... let's use the scientific terms .... digital manipulation of the prostrate gland whilst orally pleasuring your men?

This message was edited by EliSnow on 4-5-06 @ 4:25 PM

SatCam

04-05-2006, 12:31 PM

digital manipulation of the prostrate gland whilst orally pleasuring your men?

Sticking a vibrator up his asshole?

Gvac

04-05-2006, 12:32 PM

<hr width="100%" size="2" />3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. 
<hr width="100%" size="2" /> 
<img border="0" src="http://www.boners.com/content/795714.1.jpg" />

EliSnow

04-05-2006, 12:35 PM

SatCam wrote: digital manipulation of the prostrate gland whilst orally pleasuring your men? Sticking a vibrator up his asshole? That wouldn't be "digital."  Digital requires use of fingers.

SatCam

04-05-2006, 12:42 PM

http://www.angelnotion.com/images/lupes_new%20fingers.jpg

reeshy

04-05-2006, 12:44 PM

SatCam is one evil little bastard!!!!!!!

EliSnow

04-05-2006, 12:46 PM

reeshy wrote: SatCam is one evil little bastard!!!!!!! You got that right.

torker

04-05-2006, 12:58 PM

SatCam wrote: <img src="http://www.angelnotion.com/images/lupes_new%20fingers.jpg" border="0" /> <img height="421" src="http://www.bumpinthenightproductions.com/burpinbaby.jpg" width="432" border="0" />

Death Metal Moe

04-05-2006, 01:28 PM

Just to clarify what's going on here for katie78.No one is saying "Disrespecting women is OK" in any way.  And no one is saying you should do something you don't want to.But...it just seems like you're a real kill joy about oral.  We're sittin' there hoping you're enjoying it a little knowing we're enjoying it, and it gets us going and goes to this point or that point.  But you're running the fucking clock in your head, waiting for it to be over.  If you're not into it, don't do it.  BUT, be aware that you may get dropped because of it.  There are consequences in life.And worst of all, you kinda sound like that girl that will give a guy what he wants until she somehow has her claws in him and then pulls it all back to a schdeuled weekly, lackluster fuck session.  That's even worse.It's a give and take in life.

Death Metal Moe

04-05-2006, 01:28 PM

Also, any guy could make a "Going down on a girl Etiquette" thread and be that nasty.  Let's not even go into what you got in your lap.

SinA

04-05-2006, 01:30 PM

torker wrote: SatCam wrote: <img src="http://www.angelnotion.com/images/lupes_new%20fingers.jpg" border="0" /> <img height="421" src="http://www.bumpinthenightproductions.com/burpinbaby.jpg" width="432" border="0" />i gotta admit i was getting aroused reading this thread, until that last posti'm gonna go back to the part where katie78 tells us she's good at giving blowjobs, which she does often

reeshy

04-05-2006, 01:32 PM

Chicken!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Death Metal Moe wrote: Also, any guy could make a "Going down on a girl Etiquette" thread and be that nasty. Let's not even go into what you got in your lap.

FezPaul

04-05-2006, 01:32 PM

A new poster with a number in their name starting a thread about someone sucking.Is that you 3rol/ESDsucks?

Death Metal Moe

04-05-2006, 01:33 PM

FezPaul wrote: A new poster with a number in their name starting a thread about someone sucking.Is that you 3rol/ESDsucks?HA!  Nice.

FlavoredDecay

04-05-2006, 01:38 PM

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will. 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a h*ll of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you? 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair. 5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from b*tching and moaning. Suck it up! 6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me. 7. You gripe about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country. 8. At least there is no danger of my manhood bleeding in your mouth. 9. Play with the balls. 10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better. 11. Caress the @ss, too. We like that! 12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep". 13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

Death Metal Moe

04-05-2006, 01:40 PM

FlavoredDecay wrote: 1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will. 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a h*ll of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you? 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair. 5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from b*tching and moaning. Suck it up! 6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me. 7. You gripe about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country. 8. At least there is no danger of my manhood bleeding in your mouth. 9. Play with the balls. 10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better. 11. Caress the @ss, too. We like that! 12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep". 13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you? Mean spirited, but he makes some points I can't argue with.

GwEnYpOo

04-05-2006, 01:49 PM

okay so katie , it looks like you need someone to set you straight:1-if you're a good girlfriend and you care about pleasing your man , you'll do it . 2-the no cumming in the face thing , listen , they enjoy it even more that way so see #1 , plus the you can make them lovingly wipe it off after.3-if wants to play halo , let him go play halo.4-the deeper  you take it the better you are at it.5-NEVER , EVER , threaten to bite a guys dick ,that s just wrong , how would you like it if someone chomped down on your clit hmmm?TIPS be a litte more considerate towars the guy , its your job as a woman . while you're doing it dont think about how bored you are ,thing about what would make it better for your guy , its fun getting reactions out of themfinally suck it up and stop being a bitch if you hate blowjibs so much then dont give them , you had some good pionts but you really seem to hate it oh and p.s. you learn to like the taste

SatCam

04-05-2006, 01:57 PM

2-the no cumming in the face thing , listen , they enjoy it even more that way so see #1 , plus the you can make them lovingly wipe it off after.

Actually, this is the only reason to get a blow job. I'd sit there for however long it took just to bust a nut on her face. And don't tell me it's degrating... it's like all my love in liquid form!

And when I'm feeling lucky, I draw a dartboard on her face and try to see how high I can score.

Shock posting has returned.

IrishAlkey

04-05-2006, 02:03 PM

STICK IT IN HER ASS AND MAKE HER BLEED!

CaptClown

04-05-2006, 02:11 PM

Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women  AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found. Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women  Spoiler text: How long has this bs list of rules been floating around the internet? My story is bs too but I like it anyway.So shut up and take your medicine.

This message was edited by CaptClown on 4-5-06 @ 6:14 PM

SatCam

04-05-2006, 02:17 PM

Study Shows Cunnilingus May Increase A Mans Risk For Colorectal Cancer

A University of Phoenix study released last week says that men who are forced to preform oral sex on their female partners 2 to 3 times a week are 100 to 200 times more at risk for colorectal cancer.

Another reasont to avoid pleasuring your woman at all costs.

IrishAlkey

04-05-2006, 02:19 PM

Thank God I don't have a colorectal.

torker

04-05-2006, 02:23 PM

Eating Ass May Turn Your Tongue Brown(AP) Scientist revealed today that licking your lover's bung may cause discoloration of the tongue.  While the change in color is only temporary, the taste may linger.

This message was edited by torker on 4-5-06 @ 6:24 PM

IrishAlkey

04-05-2006, 02:25 PM

Thank God I don't have a tongue.

SatCam

04-05-2006, 02:29 PM

Eating Ice Cream With A Spoon Increases Chances of Brain Freeze

Eating ice cream using a spoon may increase your chance of a brain freeze, researches at NASA announced yesterday. While spoons are commonly used to eat the frozen dessert, their high steel content dissipates cool air into one's mouth at an alarming rate.

Death Metal Moe

04-05-2006, 02:30 PM

I like how Katie's complaining set up a nice platform for girls who don't mind BJs to "talk dirty" for us.Ah ha, ah ha, ahhh NICE-AAAAAAAAAAAA!

suggums

04-05-2006, 02:39 PM

thanks flavored decay, saved me the refinding

IrishAlkey

04-05-2006, 03:14 PM

Thank God we don't have a Spoon.

SatCam

04-05-2006, 03:16 PM

Thank God we don't have a Spoon.

YES!!!!!!!!!

IrishAlkey

04-05-2006, 03:18 PM

Death Metal Alkey says, you're dead to me.

katie78

04-06-2006, 04:33 AM

Death Metal Moe wrote: I like how Katie's complaining set up a nice platform for girls who don't mind BJs to "talk dirty" for us.Ah ha, ah ha, ahhh NICE-AAAAAAAAAAAA!You're Welcome

mendyweiss

04-06-2006, 04:57 AM

<img height="333" src="http://www.nndb.com/people/409/000022343/adclay-med.jpg" width="260" border="0" />Shake that fuckin thing honey, you want me to call again!

Sheeplovr

04-06-2006, 05:08 AM

Isn't this list a myspace chain letter?

Death Metal Moe

04-06-2006, 05:56 AM

Sheeplovr wrote: Isn't this list a myspace chain letter? NOT YET!BRB!!!LOL!

Jennitalia

04-06-2006, 06:30 AM

myspace sex survey: <table cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" width="575" border="1"><tr><td valign="middle">. What's your favorite position? On top 2. Giving oral or getting? I'm a giver 3. Is your significant other the best you've ever been with? yes 4. If you could cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend with one person that you know(no famous people), who would it be? I can't think of anyone right now 5. Have you ever used toys? Of course, doesn't everyone 6. What toy is your favorite? Don't have anymore 7. Have you ever had anal? No way, jose 8. Spit or swallow? Swallow, of course 9. Have you ever had a threesome? no 10. Do you toss the salad or not? No hiney licking for me, thanks 11. Do you like have your ass licked? See above 12. How many times a week do you have sex? 3, but now it'll be more since I just moved in with my guy 13. Ever use food products? Nah, I heard a scary story involving peanut butter... 14. What's the kinkiest thing you have ever done? Tying my guy up 15. Ever have somebody cum on your face? yeah 16. Ever have sex in a public place? yes 17. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16</td></tr></table>

fezident

04-06-2006, 06:32 AM

curtoid wrote:  <img height="417" src="http://www.kevhead.com/images16/0813%20our%20staff%20fat%20girl.jpg" width="435" border="0" />Paging Photoshop Mike.  Photoshop Mike...we have a situation in the BJ thread.  Repeat, a situation in the BJ thread.

EliSnow

04-06-2006, 06:35 AM

Jennitalia wrote: myspace sex survey: <table cellspacing="1" cellpadding="5" width="575" border="1"><tr><td valign="middle">. What's your favorite position? On top 2. Giving oral or getting? I'm a giver 3. Is your significant other the best you've ever been with? yes 4. If you could cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend with one person that you know(no famous people), who would it be? I can't think of anyone right now 5. Have you ever used toys? Of course, doesn't everyone 6. What toy is your favorite? Don't have anymore 7. Have you ever had anal? No way, jose 8. Spit or swallow? Swallow, of course 9. Have you ever had a threesome? no 10. Do you toss the salad or not? No hiney licking for me, thanks 11. Do you like have your ass licked? See above 12. How many times a week do you have sex? 3, but now it'll be more since I just moved in with my guy 13. Ever use food products? Nah, I heard a scary story involving peanut butter... 14. What's the kinkiest thing you have ever done? Tying my guy up 15. Ever have somebody cum on your face? yeah 16. Ever have sex in a public place? yes 17. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16</td></tr></table> With regard to no. 12, you would think that's how it works, but usually the opposite happens.

This message was edited by EliSnow on 4-6-06 @ 10:37 AM

katie78

04-06-2006, 07:01 AM

IrishAlkey wrote: STICK IT IN HER ASS AND MAKE HER BLEED! Okay... you have officially scared me with that comment.

spazemunky

04-06-2006, 09:30 AM

most guys like a BJ over sex,  and you really can tell alot about
a girl by how she gives head.  if she is down there like she is
just punching the clock and can't wait for it to be over.... she is not
gonna be fun in the future, but if she is down there really gettin into
it, that girls a keeper.  girls show their true colors with a cock
in their mouth.

EliSnow

04-06-2006, 09:49 AM

spazemunky wrote: most guys like a BJ over sex,  and you really can tell alot about a girl by how she gives head.  if she is down there like she is just punching the clock and can't wait for it to be over.... she is not gonna be fun in the future, but if she is down there really gettin into it, that girls a keeper.  girls show their true colors with a cock in their mouth.  I guess I'm in the minority.  I prefer screwing to bjs.

A.J.

04-06-2006, 09:53 AM

Me too.  I'd rather fuck a vagina than fuck a mouth,

curtoid

04-06-2006, 10:23 AM

spazemunky wrote: most guys like a BJ over sex Sure - in some communities<img src="http://www.ajmberg.nl/images/uploads/queer_eye.jpg" border="0" />

FezPaul

04-06-2006, 10:27 AM

spazemunky wrote: most guys like a BJ over sex,  http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/bc.jpgSee? I told you I didn't have sex with that woman.

SatCam

04-06-2006, 10:52 AM

6. What toy is your favorite?

http://www.westcoastmccsale.org/Tonka_truck_thumb.JPG

FezPaul

04-06-2006, 11:48 AM

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/we.jpg ?

torker

04-06-2006, 12:07 PM

most guys like a BJ over sex Ask Michael Milton how he feels about that.

Earlshog

04-06-2006, 12:31 PM

with your mouth... Show me how you suck a guys cock.... <img src="http://www.fullcirclecinema.com/images/180/bad_l.jpg" border="0" />

Death Metal Moe

04-06-2006, 12:43 PM

Is that the last fucking time you're gonna ask her?

sr71blackbird

04-06-2006, 03:50 PM

I used to date a girl who ruined blowjobs for me for many years because she would always at some point stop and look up and say "Are you gonna cum soon?". 

SatCam

04-06-2006, 04:10 PM

I used to date a girl who ruined blowjobs for me for many years because she would always at some point stop and look up and say "Are you gonna cum soon?".
I guess you don't explode under pressure?

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/aerosol-can-ch.jpg

OGC

04-06-2006, 04:13 PM

sr71blackbird wrote: I used to date a girl who ruined blowjobs for me for many years because she would always at some point stop and look up and say "Are you gonna cum soon?".  Consider yourself lucky, I married her.

Marc with a c

04-06-2006, 04:16 PM

richg0404 wrote: sr71blackbird wrote: I used to date a girl who ruined blowjobs for me for many years because she would always at some point stop and look up and say "Are you gonna cum soon?".  Consider yourself lucky, I married her.wow! what are the chances?

SatCam

04-06-2006, 04:19 PM

evedder wrote: richg0404 wrote: sr71blackbird wrote: I used to date a girl who ruined blowjobs for me for many years because she would always at some point stop and look up and say "Are you gonna cum soon?". Consider yourself lucky, I married her.wow! what are the chances?

It's only because she's still waiting for him to cum!

Keep on truckin!

Hottub

04-06-2006, 04:21 PM

SatCam

04-06-2006, 04:24 PM

pologomist

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/royalty/gallery/640/polo.jpg

Hottub

04-06-2006, 04:39 PM

Sat, you should know that I have a string of poloponies!!

Bulldogcakes

04-06-2006, 05:37 PM

torker wrote: There's only one rule: Watch your teeth! You're sucking a dick, not scaling a fish.  Thats my dick, not corn on the cob! Ohhh! <blockquote />

Bulldogcakes

04-06-2006, 05:50 PM

spazemunky wrote: most guys like a BJ over sex, and you really can tell alot about
a girl by how she gives head. if she is down there like she is
just punching the clock and can't wait for it to be over.... she is not
gonna be fun in the future, but if she is down there really gettin into
it, that girls a keeper. girls show their true colors with a cock
in their mouth. 
 Oh yeah. But for some reason I dont finish with a BJ, so I end up needing both. But if a girl can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when she blowing you, she's a keeper. She could look like Ernest Borgnine for all I care, really great blowjobs are tough to find.Girls that act like they're doing you a favor (and have lists of rules of what to do/not to do) are a dime a dozen.      

This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 4-6-06 @ 9:54 PM

narc

04-06-2006, 06:29 PM

That's a good point about finishing there. I can't always with a bj. But a huge pet peeve for me is if they don't let me finish in their mouth, because then I almost feel like I might as well just jerk off from the get go. Whether they spit or swallow, I don't care, but at least let me finish.

Recyclerz

04-06-2006, 06:37 PM

most guys like a BJ over sex  Ask Michael Milton how he feels about that.|Ron's Voice|:  So Torker, you've got to go to a TWENTY-FIVE year old novel for a topper?  Sure if this were 1980 we'd all be laughing ... |end Ron's Voice|<img src="http://homepage3.nifty.com/atsuo-m/stub-l.gif" border="0" />   /Just kidding.  Props for the Garp reference. <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/wink.gif" border="0" />

FlavoredDecay

04-06-2006, 08:15 PM

Bulldogcakes wrote:  spazemunky wrote: most guys like a BJ over sex, and you really can tell alot about a girl by how she gives head. if she is down there like she is just punching the clock and can't wait for it to be over.... she is not gonna be fun in the future, but if she is down there really gettin into it, that girls a keeper. girls show their true colors with a cock in their mouth.  Oh yeah. But for some reason I dont finish with a BJ, so I end up needing both. But if a girl can make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when she blowing you, she's a keeper. She could look like Ernest Borgnine for all I care, really great blowjobs are tough to find.Girls that act like they're doing you a favor (and have lists of rules of what to do/not to do) are a dime a dozen.      This message was edited by Bulldogcakes on 4-6-06 @ 9:54 PM  2 words: Fat chicks!

Hosp

04-06-2006, 09:14 PM

Damn, how did I miss a cluster fuck thread like this for so long? BJ's improve your social status and greatly improve your chances of getting a second date. And I've only had one bad one and that's when that pig thought it would be a good idea to dig her nail into the head a flick it, leaving a bruise the size of a nickle on it.  Fucking whore.

monsterone

04-06-2006, 09:41 PM

some days i wake up and question my misogyny; then i thread like this comes along and i'm alright with the world againg.i hope your uterus and a doc martin become friends real soon. oh yeah, sorry i'm late to the party.

katie78

04-07-2006, 04:40 AM

2 words: Fat chicks!Fat chicks are like mopeds..they're fun to ride but never let your friends catch you on one...

Hosp

04-07-2006, 05:22 AM

So all of your posts have only been in your own thread? Amd where's your pics?

Jennitalia

04-07-2006, 05:26 AM

Hosp wrote: Damn, how did I miss a cluster fuck thread like this for so long? BJ's improve your social status and greatly improve your chances of getting a second date. And I've only had one bad one and that's when that pig thought it would be a good idea to dig her nail into the head a flick it, leaving a bruise the size of a nickle on it.  Fucking whore.hot

Hosp

04-07-2006, 06:01 AM

She wasn't really hot, but she was deffinately sweaty.

curtoid

04-07-2006, 06:37 AM

katie78 wrote: Fat chicks are like mopeds..they're fun to ride but never let your friends catch you on one... Quoting bumperstickers is kewl. <img src="http://www.bchra.org/CarStuff/Pics/bumperstickers1.jpg" border="0" />

katie78

04-07-2006, 08:27 AM

Jennitalia wrote: Hosp wrote: Damn, how did I miss a cluster fuck thread like this for so long? BJ's improve your social status and greatly improve your chances of getting a second date. And I've only had one bad one and that's when that pig thought it would be a good idea to dig her nail into the head a flick it, leaving a bruise the size of a nickle on it.  Fucking whore.hotSizzling......

wonderwoman

04-07-2006, 08:38 AM

katie78 wrote: Last night I was giving head as usual and this person actually had the nerve to try to choke me with his manhood. Therefore I had to stop and relay the following:Blow job Etiquette 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.2. Extension to rule ..1- So if you get one, be grateful.3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.4. Extension to rule ..3- No I DON'T have to swallow.5. My ears are NOT handles.6. Extension to rule..5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you, just can't have sex right now.9. Extension to ..8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls, if you are that desperate go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're goin' at it. See also rule ..2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough,keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning."  Good job Katie, you said it. These guys need to be schooled on the ABC's of Blow jobs, LOL.  This list should be printed and be given to all the female's significant others or just to the ones that like to give head, LOL.

FUNKMAN

04-07-2006, 08:45 AM

where is #17?17. instead of using a free hand to hold my ears, try massaging my clit

wonderwoman

04-07-2006, 08:45 AM

I can't believe I never saw this thread until now. I found it to be very educational, LOL.

katie78

04-07-2006, 10:26 AM

I think we might have to think of a Muff Diving 101 list too.......

GwEnYpOo

04-07-2006, 12:14 PM

heres a tip katie its not a good idea to make your first few posts shock posts , i should knkow :(.lol i used to be so dumb.

curtoid

04-07-2006, 01:23 PM

katie78 wrote: Muff Diving? <img src="http://www.askmen.com/imagesvote/2001_apr/famous_twins/daniels_twins.jpg" border="0" />

landarch

04-07-2006, 01:46 PM

fezident wrote: curtoid wrote: Paging Photoshop Mike.  Photoshop Mike...we have a situation in the BJ thread.  Repeat, a situation in the BJ thread.Now that's funny.

Bulldogcakes

04-07-2006, 03:15 PM

katie78 wrote: 2 words: Fat chicks!Fat chicks are like mopeds..they're fun to ride but never let your friends catch you on one...  <img width="131" height="158" border="0" src="http://www.delafont.com/comedians/Comedian_Images/l-cableguy.jpg" />Policeman "Sir, are you drunk?"Larry "Why? Is there a fat chick in my back seat?" <blockquote />

Bulldogcakes

04-07-2006, 03:18 PM

katie78 wrote: I think we might have to think of a Muff Diving 101 list too....... Here's the complete list. 1-Shave <blockquote />

CaptClown

04-07-2006, 03:42 PM

Bulldogcakes wrote:  katie78 wrote: I think we might have to think of a Muff Diving 101 list too....... Here's the complete list. 1-Shave  you need to add at least one more item.2- cut the string

OGC

04-07-2006, 04:09 PM

Bulldogcakes wrote:  katie78 wrote: I think we might have to think of a Muff Diving 101 list too....... Here's the complete list. 1-Shave I can live without shaving it as long as it has been cleaned sometime in the recent past.

Reephdweller

04-07-2006, 09:13 PM

wonderwoman

04-08-2006, 06:42 AM

Both katie and jenn made some good points on their respective posts. I know alot of females that love to give blow jobs but don't like to necessarily swallow or have the guy cum on their face.  The guys on here of course gave typical male responses, not surprising. 

This message was edited by wonderwoman on 4-8-06 @ 10:43 AM

Tenbatsuzen

04-08-2006, 07:17 AM

Jennitalia wrote: No offense, but your attitude towards the cock just sucks balls 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. Yes we are2. Extension to rule ..1- So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. To each his own4. Extension to rule ..3- No I DON'T have to swallow. Yes, as a woman, you do!!5. My ears are NOT handles. They need something to hold onto and direct.6. Extension to rule..5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart. You do have a point there.8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you, YOU just can't have sex right now. Consider yourself lucky. Some guys think that having your period means it's anal week9. Extension to ..8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls, if you are that desperate go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol. Be a woman and suck it10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. Good point11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're goin' at it. See also rule ..2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. I think it's a yummy treat14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV. Party pooper 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough,keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. Says who?16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning." You must be a thrill to wake up to every morning Jennie is a go-getter and a team player.  

This message was edited by Tenbatsuzen on 4-8-06 @ 11:19 AM

Death Metal Moe

04-08-2006, 07:31 AM

wonderwoman wrote: Both katie and jenn made some good points on their respective posts. I know alot of females that love to give blow jobs but don't like to necessarily swallow or have the guy cum on their face.  The guys on here of course gave typical male responses, not surprising.  This message was edited by wonderwoman on 4-8-06 @ 10:43 AM Read 'em again.What most people said, besides the jokes, was that we don't want to force women to do things they don't want to.But also, if you're down there "punching the clock" so to speak, with no enthusiasm or even worse, just doing it because you want something back or feel it's what you're supposed to do and really don't like it, don't bother.  Don't do me any favors if you're going to have a shitty attitude about it.Also, if you're not willing to so something like that and it's important to the guy, you have to be ready for that guy to look elsewhere.  There is Cause and Effect in the real world.

sr71blackbird

04-08-2006, 07:44 PM

I might be a monority here, but I find women boasting about blow job prowess to be unsexy.

Death Metal Moe

04-08-2006, 08:50 PM

There's not much I DON'T find sexy about what women do, but maybe I'm just a pervert with a sick mind.

Iamnotatool

04-08-2006, 09:19 PM

like in most things, women that say they can suck dick well, don't. those that can, do.  Those that cant, talk a lot of shit about how good they are.on that note, I suck at eating pussy.

nevnut

04-08-2006, 10:01 PM

Iamnotatool wrote: like in most things, women that say they can suck dick well, don't. those that can, do.  Those that cant, talk a lot of shit about how good they are.on that note, I suck at eating pussy.Who would put their tongue down there?

Doogie

04-09-2006, 12:42 AM

Just hit her on the head with a spade shovel and move on.

OGC

04-09-2006, 02:58 AM

nevnut wrote: Iamnotatool wrote: like in most things, women that say they can suck dick well, don't. those that can, do.  Those that cant, talk a lot of shit about how good they are.on that note, I suck at eating pussy.Who would put their tongue down there?I would.

Bulldogcakes

04-09-2006, 05:19 AM

Iamnotatool wrote: like in most things, women that say they can suck dick well, don't. those that can, do. Those that cant, talk a lot of shit about how good they are.on that note, I suck at eating pussy.  Get a vibrator.   BTW-Tip for using it. Small tiny movements, sometimes barely touching her. Less is more. Tease tease tease. When she wraps her legs around your back, finish her off by fucking her.

Don Stugots

04-09-2006, 05:37 AM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">Bulldogcakes wrote: Iamnotatool wrote: like in most things, women that say they can suck dick well, don't. those that can, do. Those that cant, talk a lot of shit about how good they are.on that note, I suck at eating pussy. Get a vibrator. BTW-Tip for using it. Small tiny movements, sometimes barely touching her. Less is more. Tease tease tease. When she wraps her legs around your back, finish her off by fucking her. <hr color="cococo" align="left">

first, when I do get a blowjob from my chick it is like Christmas.

Second, who would want to go down on a chick? I do, it makes her feel good, just like her giving me a BJ makes me feel good.

Third, there is never any obligation, other than if you going to do it (for each others enjoyment) you should get into it.

Forth, Bulldog thanks for the tip. I have been telling my girl that the vibrator would make a great foreplay tool and she thought I was the only one. See someone else say the same thing is promting her to order one from adult shop.com this morning.

Fifth, ladies, if I want to feel bad for a buddy not getting any BJs from his chick, I can. You have no right to tell you guy what to think, say or feel. You do the same thing with your friends. "that animal wants sex every night," "he does? who does he think he is wanting sex from his wife/girlfriend!" what would be better the guy go cheat on you in order to get laid more than once a week?

on a side note, my ex wife hated giving me BJs and would make me feel like I was forcing her. So, I stop asking, I also started rubbing out loads and making sure she knew, just so she could feel like she couldnt pleasure me, which she could do until we got married. after that, I enjoyed making her feel like less of a women. See, its a two way street.

EliSnow

04-09-2006, 08:51 AM

STUGOTS1 wrote: Forth, Bulldog thanks for the tip. I have been telling my girl that the vibrator would make a great foreplay tool and she thought I was the only one. See someone else say the same thing is promting her to order one from adult shop.com this morning. I agree with the vibrators as a foreplay tool.  Women and men are on different schedules, with men getting revved up way quicker.  The vibrator helps the woman get going quicker, and can be lots of fun to use on the woman.I had one girlfriend a ways back who never had an orgasm before even when guys went down on her.  We got a vibrator, used it to help her get an orgasm, and after a few times, she was able to have them without it.  

This message was edited by EliSnow on 4-9-06 @ 12:52 PM

OGC

04-14-2006, 06:53 PM

katie78 wrote: I think we might have to think of a Muff Diving 101 list too.......Rule number 1 ladies:<a href="http://www.enzara.com/" target="_blank">Visit this site</a> and buy their product. Shelia did which makes her a good egg.

This message was edited by richg0404 on 4-14-06 @ 10:54 PM

SinA

04-14-2006, 09:05 PM

richg0404 wrote: katie78 wrote: I think we might have to think of a Muff Diving 101 list too.......Rule number 1 ladies:<a href="http://www.enzara.com/" target="_blank">Visit this site</a> and buy their product. Shelia did which makes her a good egg.This message was edited by richg0404 on 4-14-06 @ 10:54 PM <img height="182" src="http://www.enzara.com/images/enzaraebook.gif" width="173" border="0" />thanks, now I'm starvin'

tele7

04-14-2006, 10:04 PM

SinA wrote: richg0404 wrote: katie78 wrote: I think we might have to think of a Muff Diving 101 list too.......Rule number 1 ladies:<a href="http://www.enzara.com/" target="_blank">Visit this site</a> and buy their product. Shelia did which makes her a good egg.This message was edited by richg0404 on 4-14-06 @ 10:54 PM <img height="182" src="http://www.enzara.com/images/enzaraebook.gif" width="173" border="0" />thanks, now I'm starvin'<img src="http://www.moviebunker.com/silence_of_the_lambs_fake_picture.jpg" border="0" />

spoon

04-18-2006, 12:25 AM

Death Metal Moe wrote: Just to clarify what's going on here for katie78.No one is saying "Disrespecting women is OK" in any way.  And no one is saying you should do something you don't want to.But...it just seems like you're a real kill joy about oral.  We're sittin' there hoping you're enjoying it a little knowing we're enjoying it, and it gets us going and goes to this point or that point.  But you're running the fucking clock in your head, waiting for it to be over.  If you're not into it, don't do it.  BUT, be aware that you may get dropped because of it.  There are consequences in life.And worst of all, you kinda sound like that girl that will give a guy what he wants until she somehow has her claws in him and then pulls it all back to a schdeuled weekly, lackluster fuck session.  That's even worse.It's a give and take in life.  I was done with this thread as soon as Senator Moe decided to speak for all of us.  Not your thread and I constantly need to be reminded of why I can't stand your sorry ass?  Get the fuck over yourself and shut the fuck up.  You're like a fucking retarded priest or something you preachy mother fucker!  Thanks for killing another thread for me.  Holy shit you have a gift I guess. 

This message was edited by spoon on 4-18-06 @ 4:36 AM

Don Stugots

04-18-2006, 01:16 AM

"OHHHHHHH, Tommy you gonna take that?"

Death Metal Moe

04-18-2006, 04:21 AM

spoon wrote: I was done with this thread as soon as Senator Moe decided to speak for all of us.  Not your thread and I constantly need to be reminded of why I can't stand your sorry ass?  Get the fuck over yourself and shut the fuck up.  You're like a fucking retarded priest or something you preachy mother fucker!  Thanks for killing another thread for me.  Holy shit you have a gift I guess. Stop interacting with me.  You are a non-poster to me now.And thank you for coming back from your 2 week banning, then going right back to your regular bullshit.  Keep it up, everyone thinks you're the coolest guy around.  Are you going to get your 2 friends to attack me again?  I'll be waiting.

This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 4-18-06 @ 8:32 AM

Earlshog

04-18-2006, 06:38 AM

sr71blackbird wrote: I might be a monority here, but I find women boasting about blow job prowess to be unsexy. that would depend...  if the chick boasting is hot yes you are in the minority...

EliSnow

04-18-2006, 06:48 AM

Earlshog wrote: that would depend...  if the chick boasting is hot yes you are in the minority... Shit, a chick just saying the word "blowjob" or some combination of "cock" and "sucking" is always sexy.

ShelleBink

04-18-2006, 07:03 AM

My only rule ((due to a guy from the past who was an asshole)): Don't tell me how good your ex girlfriend was at it.

Jennitalia

04-18-2006, 07:10 AM

this stupid list reminds me of a funny story a friend told me in high school.  he was at a party hooking up with a girl, and as he was going down on her, she farted really bad.   i think we all peed our pants that day laughing.and what's unsexy about a girl telling you what she wants?  what's unsexy about me, or shelle or any other chick saying something like, "give me your cock, i want to blow your brains out!"

EliSnow

04-18-2006, 08:14 AM

Jennitalia wrote: and what's unsexy about a girl telling you what she wants?  what's unsexy about me, or shelle or any other chick saying something like, "give me your cock, i want to blow your brains out!"There's absolutely nothing unsexy about it.  My opinion is that such things should be sent at any time, and often.

Earlshog

04-18-2006, 08:59 AM

Jennitalia wrote: this stupid list reminds me of a funny story a friend told me in high school.  he was at a party hooking up with a girl, and as he was going down on her, she farted really bad.   i think we all peed our pants that day laughing.and what's unsexy about a girl telling you what she wants?  what's unsexy about me, or shelle or any other chick saying something like, "give me your cock, i want to blow your brains out!"that depends... <img src="http://www.digg.be/images/movie/goodfellas.jpg" border="0" />

narc

04-18-2006, 03:09 PM

<hr color="cococo" align="left">Jennitalia wrote: this stupid list reminds me of a funny story a friend told me in high school. he was at a party hooking up with a girl, and as he was going down on her, she farted really bad. i think we all peed our pants that day laughing.and what's unsexy about a girl telling you what she wants? what's unsexy about me, or shelle or any other chick saying something like, "give me your cock, i want to blow your brains out!"<hr color="cococo" align="left">

Nothing.....I myself would just prefer a coy smile, and then doing it. With gusto. Actions speak louder than words.

FUNKMAN

04-18-2006, 03:18 PM

Jennitalia wrote: this stupid list reminds me of a funny story a friend told me in high school.  he was at a party hooking up with a girl, and as he was going down on her, she farted really bad.   i think we all peed our pants that day laughing.and what's unsexy about a girl telling you what she wants?  what's unsexy about me, or shelle or any other chick saying something like, "give me your cock, i want to blow your brains out!"Jenn is like Mrs Nixon, she understands dick...and a sweetheart to boot

Bulldogcakes

04-18-2006, 03:22 PM

Jennitalia wrote: this stupid list reminds me of a funny story a friend told me in high school. he was at a party hooking up with a girl, and as he was going down on her, she farted really bad. i think we all peed our pants that day laughing.and what's unsexy about a girl telling you what she wants? what's unsexy about me, or shelle or any other chick saying something like, "give me your cock, i want to blow your brains out!" To each his/her own, Jen. If you like it, great. If you dont, great. I personally do like a little of the mystery, for as long as it lasts.     <blockquote />

spoon

04-18-2006, 05:08 PM

Death Metal Moe wrote: spoon wrote: I was done with this thread as soon as Senator Moe decided to speak for all of us.  Not your thread and I constantly need to be reminded of why I can't stand your sorry ass?  Get the fuck over yourself and shut the fuck up.  You're like a fucking retarded priest or something you preachy mother fucker!  Thanks for killing another thread for me.  Holy shit you have a gift I guess.   Stop interacting with me.  You are a non-poster to me now.And thank you for coming back from your 2 week banning, then going right back to your regular bullshit.  Keep it up, everyone thinks you're the coolest guy around.  Are you going to get your 2 friends to attack me again?  I'll be waiting.This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 4-18-06 @ 8:32 AM You really must have me labeled a non-poster as you never respond with trivial high school jabs huh?  My 2 friends?  Wow that one really hurt!  You really are running for R/F.net mayor huh?  Is this just a popularity contest for you?  I could care less (for real unlike you) if people chose not to like me.  I'm not here to make friends, just post comments and time and time again yours make me cringe.  It really is like reading the writings of an unloved child begging for attention.  And I know it's hard for you to admit to yourself that I might not be the only one, independently, who can't stand your constant raping of threads and this board as a whole.  Do you really have a life outside this thing?  I hope so bc you life here is sad too.

sr71blackbird

04-18-2006, 05:12 PM

<img height="125" src="http://www.drudgereport.com/siren.gif" width="125" border="0" /> Its on!!!     Till the break of dawn!

This message was edited by sr71blackbird on 4-18-06 @ 9:14 PM

Death Metal Moe

04-18-2006, 05:15 PM

No, it's still off.  Spoon hates me and thinks I'm a loser.  No one cares.The end.

Reephdweller

04-18-2006, 05:23 PM

Death Metal Moe

04-18-2006, 05:25 PM

You should be butt raped for even posting that.  Blech. Wait, are those kids "Emo?"

This message was edited by Death Metal Moe on 4-18-06 @ 9:25 PM

ShelleBink

04-18-2006, 05:32 PM

Jennitalia wrote: this stupid list reminds me of a funny story a friend told me in high school. he was at a party hooking up with a girl, and as he was going down on her, she farted really bad. i think we all peed our pants that day laughing.and what's unsexy about a girl telling you what she wants? what's unsexy about me, or shelle or any other chick saying something like, "give me your cock, i want to blow your brains out!"  I duno why you put me in with this, or how you know I like to dirty talk ;o)

Death Metal Moe

04-18-2006, 05:36 PM

Where did all this "Girls shouldn't talk about BJ's" stuff come from?  If a girl is confident she's good at it, talk about it.  Some people aren't as vocal about their sexual life, some are.  I don't think we should stifle anyone's speech here.Except Jerry from Mars' speech.  That stuff makes no sense.

FUNKMAN

04-18-2006, 05:38 PM

Reephdweller

04-18-2006, 05:47 PM

<img height="310" src="http://www.cinekolossal.com/star/j_k_l/keitel/keitel4.jpg" width="474" border="0" />Show me how you suck a guy's cock.

TheMojoPin

04-18-2006, 05:51 PM

I could care less (for real unlike you) if people chose not to like me.Great.  Fantastic.  Why is it impossible to think Moe feels the same way?  9 times out of 10, people are starting something with him first.  You don't like his threads or posts?  Too fucking bad.  Honestly, at this point, I can't stand a ton of people that post here.  Whoopedee-doo.  How is it my place to attack every single one of them for just trying to start conversations or make jokes or post pics or whatever else?  It's not.  We're not going to enjoy the company of everyone we encounter or work with in our "real" lives...and that's going to translate to an online message board, too.  But in the real world, unless someone is a sociopath, you suck it up and act civil and like a decent human being.  Yeah, if somebody goes nuts and starts insulting or attacking you or someone you care about, of course, you're going to do something back.  But you're doing this with multiple posters when NOTHING has been done to you; Moe is just the latest.Like I said before the LAST go around, nobody has to like anybody here.  But they DO have to act civil.  You're going out of your way to attack people who have done nothing.  Being a Yankees fan or posting a lot does not make some a target for you to blatantly attack as much as possible.  If you don't like someone, don't reply to them.  It's that simple.  At this point, you have zero reason to ever reply to Moe on this board.  And since you seem to can't stop acting like a child, well, here's a child's punishment...if you reply to one of his posts, or even IN a thread started by him, you're gone for good.  You've been warned over and over again to knock this shit off, and since you've demonstrated that you're seemingly mentally and physically unable to stop yourself from doing something anyone with an ounce of self-control would be able to resist doing, we've now had to bring out the most retarded rules possible.  But hey, apparently "the punishment fits the crime."And before anyone gets cute and decides to act like Moe is getting some kind of special treatment, realize he's not.  He just happens to be the latest poster Spoon has decided is the worst person in the world and needs to have insults slung at them at every possible turn.

Death Metal Moe

04-18-2006, 05:52 PM

It's OK Mojo, you didn't need the disclaimer at the end.  The sane know the truth.

mdr55

04-18-2006, 05:54 PM

But Moe posts in every thread. Oh. You meant Spoon. Nevermind. 

This message was edited by mdr55 on 4-18-06 @ 9:55 PM

TheMojoPin

04-18-2006, 06:05 PM

I told him to not reply TO Moe, or in threads that Moe has STARTED.  They can both post all they want in the same threads started anyone else...Spoon's just pushed it to the point where the only option seems to be for them to ignore each other...unfortunately, Spoon shows zero desire to do so on his own.Obviously, he'll no doubt find a creative way to still attack whoever he wants as explicitly and viciously as possible, and he'll still get banned.  I'd like to think SOME common sense will prevail and he'd realize that following people around in thread after thread and yelling at them for being "pathetic" for posting in thread after thread or posting about something he doesn't like IS actually in and of itself...pathetic.

Death Metal Moe

04-18-2006, 06:08 PM

OK, back on topic.  Women and BJ lists just don't mix.There should be 1 item on that list.1. YES!

moochcassidy

04-18-2006, 06:16 PM

im with spoonhes full a shite. nobody's pathetic enough to blow the fat fuck anyway.

sr71blackbird

04-18-2006, 06:29 PM

I like a good BJ (who doesnt?), but I think bragging about ones prowess at this particular deed is the same as ME saying I suck a good pussy.  Everyone would flip or theyd tell me to start a 'blog' or whatever.

Death Metal Moe

04-18-2006, 06:34 PM

moochcassidy wrote: im with spoonhes full a shite. nobody's pathetic enough to blow the fat fuck anyway. Are you moving back to "The Dark Side" Mooch?  And after we made up and everything?So be it.

FUNKMAN

04-18-2006, 06:45 PM

sr71blackbird

04-18-2006, 06:50 PM

Judge Smails

04-18-2006, 07:17 PM

It's best to start 'em young<img src="http://www.digitalwizardry.nl/gfx/olsen_twin_deep_throat.jpg" border="0" />    I'm going to hell.

FUNKMAN

04-18-2006, 07:18 PM

judge_smails wrote: It's best to start 'em young<img src="http://www.digitalwizardry.nl/gfx/olsen_twin_deep_throat.jpg" border="0" />    I'm going to hell.in a hand basket...   tsk tsk

Earlshog

04-18-2006, 07:39 PM

Reefdweller wrote: <img height="259" src="http://dartobserver.blogspot.com/uploaded_images/Men%20Kissing%202-726296.jpg" width="400" border="0" />Get a room you two!!!<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" />thank god someone put "the hot" back in this thread

TheMojoPin

04-18-2006, 09:22 PM

moochcassidy wrote: im with spoonhes full a shite. nobody's pathetic enough to blow the fat fuck anyway. Wait, aren't you on strike 3?Christ.Is it worth it?

Snoogans

04-18-2006, 09:41 PM

Death Metal Moe wrote: moochcassidy wrote: im with spoonhes full a shite. nobody's pathetic enough to blow the fat fuck anyway. Are you moving back to "The Dark Side" Mooch? And after we made up and everything?So be it.  ok a couple things:1- You claim to not want this and just want everything to die. Yet you carry on this drama, calling it the "darkside" and playing up your injustices. You cant have it both ways here. If you want it to die, let it go. 2- about the earlier 2 friends comment: Nobody tells me what the fuck to post. Shelle never even tells me what to say. I've talked to you numerous times off the board about what i feel and certain other people seem to feel. I've never once personally attacked you about anything related to anything. Only made mature comments to you. So dont fuckin get on your high horse and act like people have it in for you cause of something someone they know does. THIS might be the reason half the people cant fuckin stand you. I'm tired of your goddamn condescending bullshit.

SinA

04-18-2006, 09:51 PM

i think you come off as a little insincere with that ass in your sig-pic:<img height="538" src="http://webpages.charter.net/s_a/c.images/classy.jpg" width="712" border="0" />

Billy Staples

04-18-2006, 10:11 PM

Death Metal Moe wrote: moochcassidy wrote: im with spoonhes full a shite. nobody's pathetic enough to blow the fat fuck anyway. Are you moving back to "The Dark Side" Mooch?  And after we made up and everything?So be it.Moe ....how could you miss that one, even without being a Floyd fan..."the Dark side of the Mooch"  <img height="200" src="http://www.allmarketersareliars.com/FindAttachment/2864/1114200772140/pink-floyd-dark-side.jpg" width="200" border="0" /> Theres is no dark side of the mooch really, as a matter of fact its all darkof course I've been mad, Ive always been madI do't know, I was really drunk at the time

scottinnj

04-18-2006, 10:15 PM

This thread still active?  If she don't like giving head, then maybe she's into anal.  Who the fuck cares, if you blow a load in her mouth or in her pussy, you still blew a load and got off.  Why should you care if she has to shit the load out or spit it out?

spoon

04-18-2006, 10:39 PM

TheMojoPin wrote: I told him to not reply TO Moe, or in threads that Moe has STARTED.  They can both post all they want in the same threads started anyone else...Spoon's just pushed it to the point where the only option seems to be for them to ignore each other...unfortunately, Spoon shows zero desire to do so on his own.Obviously, he'll no doubt find a creative way to still attack whoever he wants as explicitly and viciously as possible, and he'll still get banned.  I'd like to think SOME common sense will prevail and he'd realize that following people around in thread after thread and yelling at them for being "pathetic" for posting in thread after thread or posting about something he doesn't like IS actually in and of itself...pathetic.Ok Mojo you need to straighten out your god damn facts.  1) "I'd like to think SOME common sense will prevail and he'd realize that following people around in thread after thread...."I never follow his ass around this board, in fact it's the opposite.  He's acting the ass in every fucking thread I open making it all about Moe, not the other way around.  Then I can't comment on the new topic he makes it (Moe) ??  In fact, I've probably only posted in around 10 Moe threads in my existence here on this board.  And yet he follows me, to the point that he's the very next post, in a number of sports and other threads I post in.  Someone uses the view last post feature, yet it sure isn't me.  Perhaps you 2) "But you're doing this with multiple posters when NOTHING has been done to you; Moe is just the latest."  - Mojo Where are these blatant attacks all around the board as well.  The fact is I actually hang out with a ton of other posters from time to time, way more then I even had a board argument with.  Funk, Stick, Alk, Snoog, Crip, Justice and many more.  Sure I've had a few tiffs with Yankee fans, but to me they were all in the name of fun with a few tough love rips thrown in.  It's a fact that some Yank fans can be idiotic, so I call them out on it just like others here.  Some give it back to me, others cry.  And if you uncloud your eyes, it's been a healthy ball-busting fest in the yankee thread all year so far, including HHH and BDC.  So make some sense.  Please.3)  "But hey, apparently "the punishment fits the crime.""  - MojoAre you kidding me?  I've never been warned until this Moe bullshit in almost 5 fucking years.  Give me a break.  Your judgement is so foggy you can't even see you're being played the fool by this poor victim.  If he wants to make threads about himself, how can he and you expect people not respond on said topic.  I guess were only allowed to be milktoast on this board for here on in.  And if that's the case who the hell cares.  I guess the board only cares now about selling t-shirts, not the show and good chat in any form.  4)  "And before anyone gets cute and decides to act like Moe is getting some kind of special treatment, realize he's not."  - MojoWhat next?  Are you going to send the <strike>Fox News </strike>RonFez.net police to my house if this keeps up?  Spare me the bullshit.  I love how people, and newbies at that, have been banned up 5 times or more and still are around.  Yet busting on Moe is a death sentence?  Yah, no special treatment there even if he didn't push for it.  You're right.  Mama Mojo needs to protect the self-loving recluse or he'll threaten to leave again.  That would be tragic.

narc

04-18-2006, 11:28 PM

Can we just have one consolidated fight thread for everybody on the board to trash each other? It'd be one stop shopping.

Earlshog

04-19-2006, 05:30 AM

the first thing about firght thread is nobody talks about fight thread....  <img src="http://www.uncut.at/filme/fight-club/b07.jpg" border="0" />

Jennitalia

04-19-2006, 05:32 AM

god, spoon, shut up already, please.

Death Metal Moe

04-19-2006, 05:48 AM

Outstanding.Do ya get that no one cares anymore?

Death Metal Moe

04-19-2006, 05:53 AM

Snoogans wrote:  Death Metal Moe wrote: moochcassidy wrote: im with spoonhes full a shite. nobody's pathetic enough to blow the fat fuck anyway. Are you moving back to "The Dark Side" Mooch? And after we made up and everything?So be it.  ok a couple things:1- You claim to not want this and just want everything to die. Yet you carry on this drama, calling it the "darkside" and playing up your injustices. You cant have it both ways here. If you want it to die, let it go. 2- about the earlier 2 friends comment: Nobody tells me what the fuck to post. Shelle never even tells me what to say. I've talked to you numerous times off the board about what i feel and certain other people seem to feel. I've never once personally attacked you about anything related to anything. Only made mature comments to you. So dont fuckin get on your high horse and act like people have it in for you cause of something someone they know does. THIS might be the reason half the people cant fuckin stand you. I'm tired of your goddamn condescending bullshit. Touchy touchy Snoogs.  I wasn't talking about you, guilty conscience?  Actually you're right, I wasn't talking about you because you didn't fight with me, you did discuss with me.  That means my estimate on Spoon's friends was very generous.  It was only Alkey who took up the retard fight while Spoon was gone.As for Mooch, I was talking to him, not you.  Mind your business.  He was doing much the same thing Spoon was, and then one day after about 3 bannings PMed me, like Spoon COULD have done weeks ago, and we worked it out in a very short period of time.  I think it was 2 PMs back and forth.  Now he's attacking me again.  I can bat him around if he likes.I only responded to you Snoogs because I like you and last I heard we're still friends.  Has Spoon gotten to you too?

grlNIN

04-19-2006, 05:54 AM

This thread sucks.Pun intended.

Death Metal Moe

04-19-2006, 06:19 AM

grlNIN wrote: This thread sucks.Pun intended. Another thread destroyed by Spoon.  Is it time to lock it up again?

TheMojoPin

04-19-2006, 06:54 AM

spoon wrote: TheMojoPin wrote: I told him to not reply TO Moe, or in threads that Moe has STARTED.  They can both post all they want in the same threads started anyone else...Spoon's just pushed it to the point where the only option seems to be for them to ignore each other...unfortunately, Spoon shows zero desire to do so on his own.Obviously, he'll no doubt find a creative way to still attack whoever he wants as explicitly and viciously as possible, and he'll still get banned.  I'd like to think SOME common sense will prevail and he'd realize that following people around in thread after thread and yelling at them for being "pathetic" for posting in thread after thread or posting about something he doesn't like IS actually in and of itself...pathetic.Ok Mojo you need to straighten out your god damn facts.  1) "I'd like to think SOME common sense will prevail and he'd realize that following people around in thread after thread...."I never follow his ass around this board, in fact it's the opposite.  He's acting the ass in every fucking thread I open making it all about Moe, not the other way around.So what?  The overwhelming majority of threads here get derailed from their original topic very quickly, usually in the first page.  Who cares if one gets derailed by people talking about Moe or any other thing?  By the way you act, it's an unforgivable sin.  And "making it about himself?"  OK, when somebody brings up a thread topic, 99.999999999% of the time it's designed for people to relate their own opinions or experiences related to the topic.  That's how message boards work.  And Moe can only "make a thread about him" if people reply to what he said.  Think about that.  If people WANT to reply to what he brought up, so what?  If they don't, reply to someone else or the overall topic.  Why is that so goddamn hard?Then I can't comment on the new topic he makes it (Moe) ??  In fact, I've probably only posted in around 10 Moe threads in my existence here on this board.Then you'll have no trouble posting in any others that he starts.And yet he follows me, to the point that he's the very next post, in a number of sports and other threads I post in.So what?  You can both post in the same threads...that's not "following."  When I say you're following him, it's when you show up in ANY thread where he's posted and single out his post to attack, and HIM to attack, when he's said NOTHING that even remotely has anything to do with you. Someone uses the view last post feature, yet it sure isn't me.  Perhaps you 2) "But you're doing this with multiple posters when NOTHING has been done to you; Moe is just the latest."  - Mojo Where are these blatant attacks all around the board as well.Honestly, this should have gone down when BDC was your target du jour in any thread he posted in.The fact is I actually hang out with a ton of other posters from time to time, way more then I even had a board argument with.Fantastic. Funk, Stick, Alk, Snoog, Crip, Justice and many more.  Sure I've had a few tiffs with Yankee fans, but to me they were all in the name of fun with a few tough love rips thrown in.If you're trying to to pass off these constant board attacks against Moe as "love rips" or "fun," you need to realize that it's not being taken that way. It's a fact that some Yank fans can be idiotic, so I call them out on it just like others here.  Some give it back to me, others cry.If you piss someone off by being a dick again and again and again and again, STOP DOING IT.

Marc with a c

04-19-2006, 06:59 AM

i like blow jobs

FUNKMAN

04-19-2006, 07:02 AM

i feel sorry for people with no jobs...

EliSnow

04-19-2006, 07:03 AM

evedder wrote: i like blow jobs I assume you mean receiving.

Marc with a c

04-19-2006, 07:09 AM

EliSnow wrote: evedder wrote: i like blow jobs I assume you mean receiving.  you shouldnt assume

EliSnow

04-19-2006, 07:11 AM

evedder wrote: EliSnow wrote: evedder wrote: i like blow jobs I assume you mean receiving.  you shouldnt assumeVery true.

Death Metal Moe

04-19-2006, 07:29 AM

evedder wrote: EliSnow wrote: evedder wrote: i like blow jobs I assume you mean receiving.  you shouldnt assumeHe he, nicely done.  There's a few new posters in here that get it, nice to see.

FUNKMAN

04-19-2006, 07:30 AM

sometimes getting a job that bites is not so bad...

Marc with a c

04-19-2006, 07:34 AM

Death Metal Moe wrote: evedder wrote: EliSnow wrote: evedder wrote: i like blow jobs I assume you mean receiving.  you shouldnt assumeHe he, nicely done.  There's a few new posters in here that get it, nice to see.stop making it about you moe.

Death Metal Moe

04-19-2006, 07:41 AM

evedder wrote: stop making it about you moe.Hey listen buddy, you wanna ruin my shower thread or something?

Marc with a c

04-19-2006, 07:47 AM

Death Metal Moe wrote: evedder wrote: stop making it about you moe.Hey listen buddy, you wanna ruin my shower thread or something?shower thread?

Earlshog

04-19-2006, 08:13 AM

FUNKMAN wrote: sometimes getting a job that bites is not so bad... <img src="http://www.go.com.jo/QNoorjo/images/braces.jpg" border="0" />

Snoogans

04-19-2006, 09:42 AM

Death Metal Moe wrote: Snoogans wrote: Death Metal Moe wrote: moochcassidy wrote: im with spoonhes full a shite. nobody's pathetic enough to blow the fat fuck anyway. Are you moving back to "The Dark Side" Mooch? And after we made up and everything?So be it. ok a couple things:1- You claim to not want this and just want everything to die. Yet you carry on this drama, calling it the "darkside" and playing up your injustices. You cant have it both ways here. If you want it to die, let it go. 2- about the earlier 2 friends comment: Nobody tells me what the fuck to post. Shelle never even tells me what to say. I've talked to you numerous times off the board about what i feel and certain other people seem to feel. I've never once personally attacked you about anything related to anything. Only made mature comments to you. So dont fuckin get on your high horse and act like people have it in for you cause of something someone they know does. THIS might be the reason half the people cant fuckin stand you. I'm tired of your goddamn condescending bullshit. Touchy touchy Snoogs. I wasn't talking about you, guilty conscience? Actually you're right, I wasn't talking about you because you didn't fight with me, you did discuss with me. That means my estimate on Spoon's friends was very generous. It was only Alkey who took up the retard fight while Spoon was gone.As for Mooch, I was talking to him, not you. Mind your business. He was doing much the same thing Spoon was, and then one day after about 3 bannings PMed me, like Spoon COULD have done weeks ago, and we worked it out in a very short period of time. I think it was 2 PMs back and forth. Now he's attacking me again. I can bat him around if he likes.I only responded to you Snoogs because I like you and last I heard we're still friends. Has Spoon gotten to you too?  Moe, do you even know what the hell you are talkin about. First of all i just said no one makes my decisions. Spoon hasnt gotten to anyone. Maybe people say that to you cause they mean it. I tried to be peacefully about it, but you keep draggin me in. Stop with the drama queen bullshit. No one wants to read it. Thats the main problem, drama queen moe. Alot of people dont pay attention enough, but some people do and know the stupid shit you do like this, pulling me into things and acting like i let people tell me what to think. you make it about yourself, its all about you. No matter what, you have to have attention. Thats why you post in everything, so everyone knows who you are. Thats why you couldnt just leave, you made a big production about how you cant take it and its pathetic and you are too good for this place and are never coming back. Then you fuckin read the board and see that people moved on and you couldnt take that Moe wasnt being talked about. So you just had to come back no matter what you perviously said. Leave my name out of your arguements from now on. Just cause you and a friend of mine have a problem doesnt mean we have to. But you need to make people feel sorry for you so you have to get everyone attacking you.

TheMojoPin

04-19-2006, 09:51 AM

What the fuck did I say?  Snoogans, Moe, Spoon, ANYONE, you wanna talk this out, take it to PM's or off the board.And Moe, stuff like this...He he, nicely done.  There's a few new posters in here that get it, nice to see....critiqueing and evaluating the new posters over and over again is getting REAL old.  Good intentions or not, all it does is open up a ton of shit to get more fights going.  If you wanna say something is funny, fine...but when people think they're being judged, they tend to get pissed.  "Think before you post" needs to go for everyone.Seriously, this is done here.  Get back to talking about chicks giving head, you flaming fairies.

Death Metal Moe

04-19-2006, 09:55 AM

TheMojoPin wrote: What the fuck did I say?  Snoogans, Moe, Spoon, ANYONE, you wanna talk this out, take it to PM's or off the board.And Moe, stuff like this... He he, nicely done.  There's a few new posters in here that get it, nice to see.  ...critiqueing and evaluating the new posters over and over again is getting REAL old.  Good intentions or not, all it does is open up a ton of shit to get more fights going.  If you wanna say something is funny, fine...but when people think they're being judged, they tend to get pissed.  "Think before you post" needs to go for everyone.Seriously, this is done here.  Get back to talking about chicks giving head, you flaming fairies.My PM's been open for years.  That's not how people seem to like to handle things.  It's gotta be some bullshit on the board. ANd fine, you don't want me encourging the new people.  Consider it done.  I'll never praise a one of them again.  Let them learn the hard way.

Snoogans

04-19-2006, 09:58 AM

see Mojo, i mean thats all right there

blakjeezis

04-19-2006, 10:16 AM

What if you all got together and gave each other head, would that maybe help out?

FUNKMAN

04-19-2006, 10:34 AM

Earlshog wrote: FUNKMAN wrote: sometimes getting a job that bites is not so bad... <img src="http://www.go.com.jo/QNoorjo/images/braces.jpg" border="0" />thanks budday but not baby bites...  you're a sicko <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/tongue.gif" border="0" />edit:<img src="http://www.apeculture.com/images/kblack.gif" border="0" />now we're talking! come on baby make it hurt so good, sometimes love don't feel like it should...

This message was edited by FUNKMAN on 4-19-06 @ 2:41 PM

Earlshog

04-19-2006, 11:07 AM

I figured nothing like a little pedophilea to get things back on the right track... <img src="http://images.contactmusic.com/images/artist/garyglitterap.jpg" border="0" />

Hottub

04-19-2006, 11:12 AM

Works for me! HEY! Wait a minute!!!

Rorschach

04-19-2006, 11:14 AM

i like when theres a quote within a quote within a quote etc so that it comes out looking like an hourglass

ShelleBink

04-19-2006, 11:24 AM

Rorschach wrote: i like when theres a quote within a quote within a quote etc so that it comes out looking like an hourglass   soooo pretty.

EliSnow

04-19-2006, 11:55 AM

You know looking at the etiquette "list," I don't see anything about rules of getting oral right after screwing.  As a result, I'm assuming that is fair game for all ladies.

kdubya

04-19-2006, 12:01 PM

No mention of ATM either

EliSnow

04-19-2006, 12:05 PM

kdubya wrote: No mention of ATM either This may be a dense question, but:  ATM?

kdubya

04-19-2006, 12:07 PM

Its very dirty, like Norton dirty, So not knowing doesn’t make you dense, it just means you are NOT a despicable human being   means  Ass To Mouth

This message was edited by kdubya on 4-19-06 @ 4:09 PM

EliSnow

04-19-2006, 12:11 PM

kdubya wrote: Its very dirty, like Norton dirtymeans  Ass To MouthFigured it was something like that.

Rorschach

04-19-2006, 12:47 PM

i just wanted to make a pretty hourglass   evedder wrote: Death Metal Moe wrote: evedder wrote: EliSnow wrote: evedder wrote: i like blow jobs I assume you mean receiving. you shouldnt assumeHe he, nicely done. There's a few new posters in here that get it, nice to see.  stop making it about you moe. <blockquote />

FUNKMAN

04-19-2006, 01:19 PM

i just wanted to make a pretty hourglass <a href="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/viewmessages.cfm/CurrentPage/1/forum/87/Topic/49565/RequestTimeout/500" target="_self">look at page 2 of this thread</a>

Reephdweller

04-19-2006, 01:34 PM

Death Metal Moe wrote: ANd fine, you don't want me encourging the new people.  Consider it done.  I'll never praise a one of them again.  Let them learn the hard way.Good goin there fella!tousles Moe's hair

Reephdweller

04-19-2006, 01:35 PM

EliSnow wrote: kdubya wrote: No mention of ATM either This may be a dense question, but:  ATM?Ass To Mouth

FUNKMAN

04-19-2006, 03:55 PM

Reefdweller wrote: EliSnow wrote: kdubya wrote: No mention of ATM either This may be a dense question, but:  ATM?Ass To Mouthbut you have to enter your pin first

suggums

04-19-2006, 03:56 PM

im a QA guy myself

IamFogHat

04-19-2006, 04:05 PM

katie78 wrote: Last night I was giving head as usual and this person actually had the nerve to try to choke me with his manhood. Therefore I had to stop and relay the following:Blow job Etiquette 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.2. Extension to rule ..1- So if you get one, be grateful.3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.4. Extension to rule ..3- No I DON'T have to swallow.5. My ears are NOT handles.6. Extension to rule..5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really want puke on your dick?7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart.8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you, YOU just can't have sex right now.9. Extension to ..8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls, if you are that desperate go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're goin' at it. See also rule ..2 about gratitude.13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough,keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up doesn't mean I have to "kiss it good morning."  Oh now I get it, she's telling us a joke.  And they wonder why we say there are no funny female comics.