I need Irish Jokes

[sr71blackbird]

<p>Can you post some funny Irish jokes here for me?&nbsp; Thanks.&nbsp; </p>

[Hottub]

<p align="center">A young Irishman sat at a pub in the New World drinking beer and conversin' with the barkeep. Another comes in and sits besides him. He says how you do and hears the lilt and says you be Irish? Yes I am. The first man yells barkeep give us another round and one for my friend here he's from the mother country as well. The second man asks-so where in the old country ye from. Dublin responds the first. Dublin you say - so am I and the second man hollers barkeep bring us another round and a shot of your best Irish Whiskey for me and my friend here. Afterwards the first man asks from where in Dublin and the second man responds with the street and the first man says well I'll be - so am I and yells barkeep another pair of beers and Irish Whiskey for the pair of us. The phone behind the bar rings and the barkeep answers it. The owner of the pub asks - how is business. The barkeep responds - not too bad - The O'Malley twins are here getting drunk again.</p>

[Hottub]

<p align="center">An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, &quot;what'll you have?&quot; </p><p align="center">The man says, &quot;Give me three pints of Guinness please.&quot; </p><p align="center">So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more. </p><p align="center">The bartender says, &quot;Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one.&quot; </p><p align="center">The man says, &quot;You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together. </p><p align="center">The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. </p><p align="center">Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. </p><p align="center">The bartender said to him, &quot;I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died.&quot; </p><p align="center">The man said, &quot;Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking.&quot; </p>

[torker]

Pat and Mike&nbsp;were building a house.&nbsp; Mike sends Pat to go get some lumber.&nbsp; Pat asks the guy at the lumber-yard for wood.&nbsp; &quot;How much do you need?&quot;&nbsp; Pat says&nbsp;&quot;I don't know, I'll be right back.&quot;&nbsp; A while later Pat comes back and tells the guy&nbsp;&quot;We need three trees worth of wood.&quot;&nbsp; &quot;Okay, but how long do you need it?&quot; they lumber-yard guy asks Pat.&nbsp; Unsure Pat leaves again.&nbsp; A few hours later Pat comes back to the lumber-yard.&nbsp; The guy asks him &quot;So, how long do you need it?&quot;&nbsp; And Pat says &quot;We need it a long time, we're building a house.&quot;

[Sheeplovr]

<p><font size="1" face="verdana" color="black"><strong>I need Irish Jokes</strong></font>&nbsp;</p><p><font size="-1"> Michael Flatley</font></p><p><img width="400" height="255" border="0" src="http://www.ocean985.com/KATIE/michael_flatley_dance.jpg" />&nbsp;</p><font size="-1" />

[Reephdweller]

<img height="244" src="http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/captionizer.jpg" width="303" border="0" />

[Reephdweller]

<p>Why do bar owners in Ireland cry at funerals.</p><p><br />Lost revenue.</p>

[Bulldogcakes]

<p>Saint Patrick was Scottish</p><p>Corned Beef and Cabbage is Jewish. &nbsp;</p>

[Reephdweller]

<p>Q. What do you do if an Irishman throws a pin at you? </p><p><br />A. Run - he's holding a live hand grenade.</p>

[IrishAlkey]

<p>RACISM!</p>

[mikeyboy]

speaking of Irish jokes...

[IrishAlkey]

Badump chhhhhhhh...

[Hottub]

<p>Shut yer pie hole, paddy!</p><p>If your pasty white skin is not tough enough for this shit,&nbsp;Hop in there, lad!</p>

[IrishAlkey]

One more step and the liver gets it.

[Hottub]

I'm fairly sure the liver got it YEARS ago!

[IrishAlkey]

IT WON'T STAY DOWN!

[Hottub]

Neither will my wife!!

[FUNKMAN]

<p>potato</p><p>hahahaha</p><p>it's an efficient joke</p>

[Earlshog]

<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">Whats the difference between n Irish funeral and an Irish wedding&hellip;.</font></p><p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">One less drunk&hellip;</font></p><p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">This is Irish&hellip; kinda&hellip;</font></p><p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p> <p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">A Black guy, a Jewish guy and an Irish guy are walking though the desert. The three of them come across a lamp. So they all start to clean it off and a Genie pops out. He says usually I grant three wishes, but since they&rsquo;re three of you I&rsquo;ll grant you all one wish each. So the black dude says I&rsquo;ll go first. Every place black people go in this world people look down on us. They say we are lazy, good for nothing, I wish a place existed that all black people could go and live happily. So the Genie snaps his finger and all the black people in the world are living in peace in harmony in Africa. Now it&rsquo;s the Jewish guys turn. He tells the Genie, my wish is along the same line. Every place Jews go in the world we get shit on, everyone thinks we&rsquo;re money hungry, and cheap, I wish all the Jews could live in peace in harmony. The Genie snaps his fingers and all the Jews in the world are leaving in peace in harmony in Israel. So now the Genie says to the Irish guy what&rsquo;s your wish? The Irish guy says&hellip;&nbsp; let me get this strait there&rsquo;s no more jews, no more niggers&hellip; how about a Bud Lite&hellip;</font></p><p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">&nbsp;</font></p><font size="3"><font face="Times New Roman">I&rsquo;m Irish and drunk so please disregard the misspellings&hellip; (And the racism) &nbsp;</font></font><br />

[Coach]

<p>You know you are Irish if:</p><p>You have to hold on to a piece of grass to keep from falling off the Earth</p><p>You know eight ways to boil a potato and Corned Beef!</p><p>You have more PDA cards than sense</p><p>You Hate Italians...Well Cause they're wops!</p><p>You've ever been called a &quot;Nigger of Europe&quot;</p><p>You have ancestors that helped slaves escape the South during </p><p>the Civil War</p>

[monsterone]

take the hopper speech from true romance and substitute irish for sicilian.<br />

[FezPaul]

http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f281/FezPaul/U2.jpg

[SinA]

<strong>Bulldogcakes</strong> wrote:<br /><p>Saint Patrick was Scottish</p><p>Corned Beef and Cabbage is Jewish. &nbsp;</p><p>1.&nbsp; We know.&nbsp; That's a really important part of the story of Saint Patrick.</p><p>2.&nbsp; We know.&nbsp; It's just really good and easy to cook.&nbsp; Even my drunk Irish&nbsp;father can boil water.</p>

[Coach]

<p>um remuinerations from Africa for enslaving our ancestors for over 100 years!!!!!</p><p>THEY WERE CALLED MOORS!!!</p>

<span class=post_edited>This message was edited by Coach on 3-18-06 @ 12:28 AM</span>

[FUNKMAN]

<table cellspacing="1" cellpadding="2" width="100%" border="0"><tr><td><p align="right">&nbsp;</p></td><td><font face="verdana" color="#000000" size="1"><strong>I need Irish Jokes</strong></font> </td></tr></table> <p>an irishman walked 'out' of a bar...</p>

[reeshy]

My life!!!!!!!!

[FUNKMAN]

<p><strong><font size="1">I need Irish Jokes</font></strong> </p><p>i once saw this irish guy with a tan...</p>