RONFEZ.NET POST-X-MAS MyFi CONTEST [Archive]

JustJon

12-26-2005, 05:38 PM

Didn't get what you wanted for X-Mas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa) this year? Did your Dad give you a carton of cigarettes and tell you "Smoke up, Johnny"? Did Santa tell ya to screw off because you'd shoot your eye out with that Red Ryder BB gun? Well, RonFez.Net is here to help improve your holiday wishes. We have a MyFi, courtesy of our friends at <a target="_self" href="http://store.yahoo.com/cgi-bin/clink?yhst-54608124176281+8FRMw9+index.html">myradiostore.com</a>, to give away. And what do you have to do? Tell us what awful presents you have received. We'll pick the best of the worst and put them in a poll for everyone to vote on and most popular story wins the MyFi.RF.Net staff and Irish Alkey (sorry, chum, can only win one fo the two) are not eligible to win the prize, but may post their stories in an exhibition capacity. This post will stay open until late Wednesday, and then the voting will run from Wednesday to Friday. A winner will be declared late Friday. 

<img border="0" src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon11.gif" /> <a href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

This message was edited by JustJon on 12-26-05 @ 10:31 PM

lamby

12-26-2005, 06:08 PM

let me put it this way, a Saved by the Bell Season 5 DVD with a broken case was the highlight. 
i also got a wooden 3D tic tac toe game, a book called "The
Cynic's Dictionary," a Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again DVD, a box of Star
Wars Pez dispensers, and a $5 Dunkin Donuts gift card. Hooray for x-mas 


This message was edited by lamby on 12-26-05 @ 10:10 PM

Tenbatsuzen

12-26-2005, 06:32 PM

Since the contest rules did not say the presents had to be limited to the holidays, I'll share a little story.   For
my birthday this year, the only present that was given to me by a
person who is EXTREMELY close to me was a single grey t-shirt. 
For breast cancer awareness.  That said "I HEART BOOBIES" on it.  That
was it.  Nothing else.  Mind you, I don't have a history of
breast cancer in my family.  I can't wear this shirt to work, I'm
certainly not going to wear it to work out in, so this is quite
possibly the most worthless present I've ever gotten in my entire life.    

<center><img src="http://img227.echo.cx/img227/2240/ollie11po.jpg"> <a href="http://www.postwhores.net">Post whores. Now with 153% more Matty Hate.</a></center>

Snoogans

12-26-2005, 07:18 PM

My grandfather died on Christmas Morning. That isnt made up, I was
gonna post it as a thread but I saw this so whatever. Just so everyone
knows I might be a little angry this week. 

<center>
<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Snoogans194"> GO SAWX!!!!! Hassan Eats Dick!!! Snoogans 1, Monitor 0 GIMMIE MY FUCKIN CHANGE, I AINT PLAYIN WIT YOU</center>

mikeyboy

12-26-2005, 08:23 PM

Sorry for your loss Snoogs.

quote:<hr color="cococo" align="left">RF.Net staff and Irish Alkey (sorry, chum, can only win one fo the two) are not eligible to win the prize, but may post their stories in an exhibition capacity. 

What if Alkey doesn't log out and posts as Silera (again)? Well, I'm not eligible, so I guess I have to do this as an exhibitionist.

Many years ago, when I graduated from college, some relatives came and some brought gifts. My aunt brought a number of things, and I recall I appreciated most of them, but there was this one thing. She hands me a white t-shirt that has a pastel drawing of a couple dancing, and along the bottom it said simply "Lambada". (Anyone remember Lambada? The forbidden dance? The latin dance craze that never quite was?)

Oh yeah, did I mention that I had a girlfriend at the time? Well, I did. Anyway, as Ijm staring in horror at this awful, awful shirt, my aunt says to me "And I got one for your lady friend, too" and proceeded to pull a matching shirt out of her bag and hand it to me. I think I saved one of them because I thought it was kind of funny.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy"> The Music Mikey Likes Show now on There is No Radio (http://www.thereisnoradio.com) theme song (http://www.ronfez.net/mediastorage/mikey/mikeyshowtheme.mp3) by BoBoGolem

HBox

12-26-2005, 08:37 PM

Last year I got A shoe. That's right, one shoe.My aunt knew I didn't have many dress shoes and decided as my Christmas present she'd get me a pair of dress shoes. Well, somewhere in between the shoes' long journey from the store to me one of them was sucked into a dark vortex never to be seen again. She swore it wasn't a joke, and when she got home she looked all over her house for the other to no avail. So I was left one left shoe as my Christmas present. Huzzah!EDIT: Oh, and if that doesn't do it for you, one year my grandmother got me a big red sweater with a truck on it, the kind a 8 year-old would wear. I was 18. 

<img border="0" src="http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/4544/newsig2ki.jpg" />

This message was edited by HBox on 12-27-05 @ 12:39 AM

PapaBear

12-26-2005, 08:48 PM

Last year, my ex-wife's grandmother gave me a 3 pack of plastic levels that she got at the dollar store.Other than that, I'd have to say my worse Christmas was the one where I was homeless. It doesn't really qualify in the "bad present" category, though. Especially since a friend felt bad for me, and bought me a motel room for the night, in exchange for helping him do some remodeling at his chick's house.

<center><img src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y229/snowmaninva66/ingacopy.jpg"></center>
<center>Hey! Those multi-cultural slave children, belong to the Disney Corporation!</center><center>Get 'em Achmed!</center>

stickyfingers

12-27-2005, 12:02 AM

Along with golf clubs and personalized golf balls my best gal gave me the go-ahead on some rear entry for the first time.  Incidentally, the clubs and balls (haha and everything) were not in use.  That has to be in the running for best gift anyway.

<img src=http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/sf2_sig.jpg>

Yerdaddy

12-27-2005, 02:35 AM

quote: What if Alkey doesn't log out and posts as Silera (again)? Well, I'm not eligible, so I guess I have to do this as an exhibitionist. Many years ago, when I graduated from college, some relatives came and some brought gifts. My aunt brought a number of things, and I recall I appreciated most of them, but there was this one thing. She hands me a white t-shirt that has a pastel drawing of a couple dancing, and along the bottom it said simply "Lambada". (Anyone remember Lambada? The forbidden dance? The latin dance craze that never quite was?) Oh yeah, did I mention that I had a girlfriend at the time? Well, I did. Anyway, as Ijm staring in horror at this awful, awful shirt, my aunt says to me "And I got one for your lady friend, too" and proceeded to pull a matching shirt out of her bag and hand it to me. I think I saved one of them because I thought it was kind of funny. <img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.thereisnoradio.com/" target="blank">The Music Mikey Likes Show now on There is No Radio</a> <a href="http://www.ronfez.net/mediastorage/mikey/mikeyshowtheme.mp3" target="blank">theme song</a> by BoBoGolem True story: All garbage trucks in Sana'a, Yemen play that "Lambada" song whenever they drive in reverse. I'm crapping you negative. 

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=bonedaddy5">

Fuck it from behind.

A.J.

12-27-2005, 03:31 AM

I got a similar version of this from my psycho cousin when I was in junior high.  I regifted it and gave it to the nuns at my school.<img height="277" src="http://www.educationallearninggames.com/images/bible-trivia-b.jpg" width="260" border="0" />

<img src=http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/AJinDC-Sig.jpg>

A Skidmark/canofsoup15 production.

Red Sox Nation

silera

12-27-2005, 03:36 AM

Patrick had me wrap up the MyFi he won at the RF.net Christmas Party and presented it to me as my Christmas gift just so that my family wouldn't think he was a cheap fuck.That's all he gave me.  I already own one.<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/silerass.jpg" border="0" /> AND WHAT? www.myspace.com/silera 

This message was edited by silera on 12-27-05 @ 8:41 AM

torker

12-27-2005, 05:44 AM

I got my wife's bloody vagina.

[center]<IMG SRC=http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y201/torker1313/pointbtor.jpg>[center]

[i][center]Get me. I'm givin' out wings.[center][i]

JerseyRich

12-27-2005, 05:56 AM

Green socks with Polar Bears on them. 

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/JRsig.gif>

Hottub

12-27-2005, 06:02 AM

I got those electric strips you put in the gutters to keep the ice from damming.Now the gift itself isn't so horrible, but what I now have to do that is.I must go out on the roof in the freezing cold and re-clean the gutters. Then lay these electric thingies in the gutters all around the house.The BEST part. I have to pay an electrician to add one of those outdoor electric outlets to the front of my house for the damn things to work!Nice gift idea, but Fuck You!!!!

<img src="http://www.silentpix.com/hottub/sigs/rotate.php" align="right">
so does that mean that it was "THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?" Staples <a href="http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41" target="_blank">See The Cruising Vessel</a> Check out silentpix.com.

Sheeplovr

12-27-2005, 07:04 AM

can i just vote for for snoogans to win? 


<a href=http://suchsome.somesuch.org/><img src=http://suchsome.somesuch.org/RFBHsigger.jpg></a>
 
number 333 its the way to be

OnANorton

12-27-2005, 07:37 AM

Here ya go.  A tape measure that flips open as a calculator and mini note pad inside. Some paper plates and plastic party cups.  Ooo forgot the can opener.

Furtherman

12-27-2005, 07:41 AM

A sweater that was too small that prompted Mom to quip, "my boy is getting older and fatter."Love ya Mom!

<img src=http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7>

SatCam

12-27-2005, 08:54 AM

a $100 GAP gift card 

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v91/SatCam/sig96_general_blacknwhite.jpg" align="right" alt="my sig about myself" title="SatCam is such a cool guy!!" />

[ X ][color=white]

Yosammity

12-27-2005, 08:57 AM

My wife gave me a nose hair clipper.  'Nuff said.

<html>
<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/yosammity/clarence.jpg">Yosammity

ChrisTheCop

12-27-2005, 09:09 AM

can i just vote for for snoogans to win?indian giving doesnt count.

<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/herbienrudolphnme_sigpic.gif">ok, ok..Merry Christmas!

Contra

12-27-2005, 10:10 AM

Wow it's funny this came up, cause this was probably the worst Christmas I've had.

Well my parents seem to both be unemployed at the moment, so I didn't get anything from my parents this year, because they can't affornd anything. I found it very strange giving them presents and knowing they couldn't give anything back. I got a comforter from my grandparents (to add to the 50 other blankets I have). My aunts and uncles really don't give out gifts or money to the older kids anymore.

And that's it, I got a comforter this year, yay.

Another Contra and LSP joint production
<img src=http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/contra1.gif>

Easy come easy go...Life is but a dream...See you space cowboy

Tom Ace

12-27-2005, 12:12 PM

my chick got me a gym membership. i didnt ask for one. think shes trying to tell me something? 

ive been lurking a LOOONG time.

FUNKMAN

12-27-2005, 12:22 PM

3 gift cards for Sears...nothing tells you you're getting old like giftcards for Sears Snoogans: very sorry to hear of your loss!Funk

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/fm3_sig.jpg">

newport king

12-27-2005, 12:24 PM

my best gal gave me the go-ahead on some rear entry for the first time.fucking bragger.worst gift i got was an electric windshield ice scraper from my grandmother. i wouldn't even know where to go to buy that.after that, my son got some purple fucking carebear. not that that isn't gay enough on its own, my grandmother went on into detail about how i had all these carebears when i was young....say what you want but they were the hot shit at one point. so not only is she pushing homosexuality on my kid, she had to explain to my wife about how the family was a little worried when i was a kid.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/newportking.jpg">

FUNKMAN

12-27-2005, 03:01 PM

i forgot, besides 3 Sears giftcards i also got sweatpantsso now i'm old and fat

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/fm3_sig.jpg">

Hottub

12-27-2005, 03:09 PM

To make my great gift even better, I found out my extension ladder is shot. So now I gotta go buy one of those to.The gift that keeps on giving!!!!!

<img src="http://www.silentpix.com/hottub/sigs/rotate.php" align="right">
so does that mean that it was "THE ORANGE BOWL OF FAILURE?" Staples <a href="http://www.silentpix.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=Myalbums&file=thumbnails&album=41" target="_blank">See The Cruising Vessel</a> Check out silentpix.com.

SilentSpic

12-27-2005, 03:14 PM

Received two shirts and 45 dollars. My family sux! 

<img border="0" src="http://silentpix.com/images/mysigs/rotate.php" />

This message was edited by SilentSpic on 12-27-05 @ 7:15 PM

ShelleBink

12-27-2005, 03:17 PM

Ah, my crappy Christmas. Started Christmas Eve when my dog got into a package of the Hershey's mix of the Milk Chocolate, Dark Chocolate, Krackel, and Mr. Goodbar minibars.  All that was left was the outer plastic package.  She's been shitting a lot ever since, and apparently the paper wrappers are rather painful for her to pass.Later Christmas Eve I went to my boyfriend's family's gathering.  Nothing makes life more interesting than his 11 year old cousin asking if we were "friends with benefits" before we started dating and if he was ready to have a baby with me.  Woo.Christmas morning he and I found out his grandfather passed away, which was quite upsetting.Later on Christmas, he and I go to my house to find out that the fire department was called due to my house fililng up with smoke from Christmas dinner.  It was also noted to me that the dog got scared of the firemen because of how they looked wearing masks and the large oxygen tanks.  I think she may have shit a little.A large topic of discussion was how my mom's mom has an irritated and inflammed colon and will require a colonoscopy on Valentine's Day.  Kinda makes you look twice at eating the stuffing covered in gravy. My Christmas gifts were largely unexciting.  Just to give you an idea: my Grandparents got a DVD Recorder and a video camera.  My dad got a portable DVD player.  My brother got a video camera.  I got printer ink.  Christmas night I had a panic attack over some other stresses.  So I didn't get any sleep until last night.   Oh, and since my dad's mom wasn't brought over from the nursing home, I have to go see her to give her the gifts we bought for her.  That normally wouldn't be a problem, but she has no idea who the hell I am ((Alzheimer's is apparently a fun disease)).  Although she sometimes gets convinced that I am "Kathy" ... no one knows who that may be. Merry Christmas to all, and to all... please shoot me. 

<center><A HREF="http://www.myspace.com/hotstargirlie"> <IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=shellebink"> </a></img></center>

furie

12-27-2005, 06:20 PM

2 pairs of gloves

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=furie1335"> 
<a href="http://fallingtowardsapotheosis.blogspot.com/">mental vomit</a>

spoon

12-27-2005, 09:54 PM

My grandmother's a smart ass like her grandson and one of her gifts was hilarious!  She gave me an add for diamond engagement rings, wrapped in a box,  and when I opened it she asked in front of my lady when her great grandkids were coming!  I love her to death.  My uncle, on this side of the family, got me a customized XXL t-shirt from one of those stands in the mall where you can put anything you want on it.  Well, he said that's why he got me the huge size bc he wanted to fit it all.  The t-shirt says, "My Uncle Steve kicks my ass in Poker, Hurdles, FFL and Life!" on the back.  On the front, "Steve Jones" below it "Bad Mother Fucker!"  My family's awesome, and I can't wait to wear my new t-shirt/tent!

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">

It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

sr71blackbird

12-28-2005, 12:38 AM

My mom got me a mini old fashioned victrola record player Christmas tree ornament that actually plays 3 mini records, but I do not have a tree and have no idea why she bought it for me.

<center>
http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=8 </center>

<center>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Yerdaddy,Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate>Which Witch Wished Which Wicked Wish?</marquee>
<center>SR71 on MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/sr71black)</center>

Yerdaddy

12-28-2005, 04:54 AM

I got one of these:<img height="350" src="http://shs.westport.k12.ct.us/mjvl/biology/cells/amoeba.gif" width="450" border="0" />

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=bonedaddy5">

Fuck it from behind.

Furtherman

12-28-2005, 05:00 AM

quote: i forgot, besides 3 Sears giftcards i also got sweatpantsso now i'm old and fat It's like you've given up on pants.  

<img src=http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7>

walking joint

12-28-2005, 05:05 AM

i have 3 sisters and 2 brothers...we aren't supposed to get gifts for each other anymore, just the kids(which sucks for me as I have no kids and they buy me things they get at school).  we always joke about which of us is our parents favorite....one of my sisters hands out a t-shirt to everyone and all thats on it is an ironed on number...i got 6 which makes me the least favorite.  i would have been happy with a 3 and settled for 5, but 6 sucks.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/satelitecam/images/sig_wk.jpg">
thanks for the sig SatCam...and thanks for bringing it back Furie

Jennitalia

12-28-2005, 05:06 AM

my stepfather gave me a hideki matsui jack in the box.  it's the stupidest thing ever. by the way, i'm sorry about your loss, shawn<img alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com" src="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b168/Jennitalia23/Janice.jpg" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.myspace.com/jennitalia23">Find me on MySpace and be my friend!</a>

This message was edited by Jennitalia on 12-28-05 @ 12:29 PM

landarch

12-28-2005, 06:01 AM

quote:  so now i'm old and fatYou, sir have given up on pants? Snoogans, sorry to hear about your grandfather.  My wife's friend lost her father Christmas Eve Night after a long bout with cancer.  I can't imagine the feeling of loss.  Our thoughts are with you.

landarch

12-28-2005, 06:03 AM

quote: quote:  so now i'm old and fatYou, sir have given up on pants? Sorry Furtherman, I didn't read the whole thread before I trampled all over yours and Harry's line.  I stink.

Furtherman

12-28-2005, 06:09 AM

quote: Sorry Furtherman, I didn't read the whole thread before I trampled all over yours and Harry's line.  I stink. I claim no ownership of that line!  That's alllllllll Harry's! 

<img src=http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7>

East Side Dave

12-28-2005, 09:39 AM

my grandmother gave me cheese for christmas.....fucking batty bitch

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Hear me saturday nights
Midnight to 6 and miscellaneous days- 95.9 The RAT; <a href="http://journals.aol.com/didvod/DaveysJournalTime/">blog</a>[/color][/i]

spoon

12-28-2005, 01:35 PM

Hey Dave, she made it herself you monster!

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">

It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

mikeyboy

12-28-2005, 01:38 PM

Ew.  Ass cheese.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy"> The Music Mikey Likes Show now on There is No Radio (http://www.thereisnoradio.com) theme song (http://www.ronfez.net/mediastorage/mikey/mikeyshowtheme.mp3) by BoBoGolem

spoon

12-28-2005, 01:49 PM

One man's poison is another man's cure!  

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">

It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

Justice4all

12-28-2005, 10:26 PM

quote: My grandfather died on Christmas Morning. That isnt made up, I was gonna post it as a thread but I saw this so whatever. Just so everyone knows I might be a little angry this week. Dude...sorry to hear!How is the rest of the family holding up?  Oh by the way...I got some clothes but I also got a laptop so that leaves me out of the running.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/j4a3_sig.gif

"Did you catch all of that in your mouth??"
"You betcha!!!!!"
"That's disgusting"
"Shut up and keep sucking!"

spoon

12-28-2005, 10:31 PM

Yah but you also got the herp/syphilis combo from your Christmas hooker, so I'd say you're back in the running (pun intended). 

<img src="http://members.aol.com/dxixrxt/spoon2.jpg">

It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!

Hosp

12-29-2005, 08:33 AM

This year it was an IOU from my aunt, because she completely forgot about me.  We were at her new apartment for christmas eve, and she handed out her gifts, and when she handed out her entire pile and everyone else was opening something, that's when she realized that she hadn't even written a card for me. Before that, it was a Tazmanian Devil Towel rack that my sister had gotten on clearance from the Warner Brothers store.  I was 20-ish, what the fuck do I need a decorative towel rack that my mother wouldn't let me put up in her bathroom anyway?

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=5">
<center><a href="http://www.gary-o.blogspot.com">Check out my blog. I'd be witty here, but I gave up on that a while ago.</a> </center>

Jennitalia

12-29-2005, 08:37 AM

quote: This year it was an IOU from my aunt, because she completely forgot about me.  We were at her new apartment for christmas eve, and she handed out her gifts, and when she handed out her entire pile and everyone else was opening something, that's when she realized that she hadn't even written a card for me.  <img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=5" border="0" /> <a href="http://www.gary-o.blogspot.com/">Check out my blog. I'd be witty here, but I gave up on that a while ago.</a>  what a fucking cunt! 

<img src="http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b168/Jennitalia23/Janice.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

<a href="http://www.myspace.com/jennitalia23">Find me on MySpace and be my friend!</a>