What's the First Thing You Shoplifted? [Archive]

PapaBear

06-04-2005, 11:58 PM

For me it was a cassette of this:<img height="200" src="http://www.mwe3.com/reviews/images/JohnLennonR&R.jpg" width="200" border="0" />From Nichols Discount City in 1979. That's about it for me, other than my first pack of condoms a couple years later.This isn't the actual Nichols location, but it looked just like this one, for the most part.<img height="184" src="http://www.wtv-zone.com/dpjohnson/60sdiscountstores/nichols.jpg" width="616" border="0" />

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<center>For my next Miracle, I'll be turning water into... FUNK!!!</center><center>KARMA IS</center>
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monsterone

06-05-2005, 12:25 AM

in 6th grade i got 2 slayer cassettes, a 50 pack of baseball cards, and some tobacco products.  got out of the store with my buddy, try to pedal away on our 10 speeds, and grabbed by security.brought us upstairs and showed us the videos- the got me w/ nothing but my friend was filmed stealing all his shit.  i was so scared i pulled out everything.worse thing was it was on mother's day, and nothing i stole was for moms.  no i rarely steal anything, not computer/ music related.

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DJEvelEd

06-05-2005, 03:06 AM

You people are retarded! If you're gonna steal, steal 5 million dollars once so you NEVER have to steal again.You dumbasses will steal a dollar 5 million times!!!! I hope the security guards shoved batons up your asses and you LIKED IT!!!!<img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> FLING <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smile.gif" border="0" /> ........... <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> SPLATT <img src="http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/images/smileredoh.gif" border="0" /> PUTTING THE FUNNY IN PRESENTLY SEEN DEPTHS SPONSORED BY:"THE FÆCES™OF CÆSAR" BY ÆSOP ©464 B.C. <img src="http://64.177.177.182/katylina/shockposters.jpg" border="0" />

This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 6-5-05 @ 7:08 AM

IamFogHat

06-05-2005, 08:03 AM

I love Ed.Anyway mine's not very exciting, but it was in Rome if that's cool at all.  and it was this,<img height="208" src="http://www2.coca-cola.com/brands/img/brands_left_sprite.jpg" width="183" border="0" />

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...And I killed Laura Palmer

angrymissy

06-05-2005, 08:45 AM

when i was younger, my sister and I would rob Caldor blind.  I used to have a bigass purse and jacket and we would shove craploads of makeup into it.  At one point i had every lipstick and eyeshadow Revlon sold.

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Fallon

06-05-2005, 08:57 AM

I tried to shoplift a copy of Bonestorm, and just when I thought I got away with it a security guard caught me.Kapish. 


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Snoogans

06-05-2005, 08:59 AM

the first thing i ever stole was sadly bazooka bubble gum. i picked up
3 from the bucket, palmed 2 and threw down 1 with my drink. 10 cents
worth, what a caper 

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Fallon

06-05-2005, 08:59 AM

quote:I love Ed.Anyway mine's not very exciting, but it was in Rome if that's cool at all. and it was this,<img width="183" height="208" border="0" src="http://www2.coca-cola.com/brands/img/brands_left_sprite.jpg" /> 

The Dude abides
...And I killed Laura Palmer Are you sure it wasn't Sierra Mist Free? <img width="300" height="225" border="0" src="http://www.adweek.com/aw/images/best_spots/best_spots_04/1210_bs14.gif" />  

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Snoogans

06-05-2005, 09:01 AM

Hey man get your own, they're free 

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GO SAWX!!!!! Hassan Eats Dick!!! Snoogans 1, Monitor 0
GIMMIE MY FUCKIN CHANGE, I AINT PLAYIN WIT YOU

torker

06-05-2005, 09:14 AM

I tried to shoplift a copy of Bonestorm, and just when I thought I got away with it a security guard caught me.<a title="Just take it!" href="http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season7/proud8.mp3" target="_blank">Just take it!</a> 

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[center]He had performed his mistakes in the dark, so he was still a man.
[center]

East Side Dave

06-05-2005, 09:29 AM

I shoplifted an A-Team coloring book. I was a little disappointed, though, because the plotline was horrible...<img src="http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif" border="0" /> Big Ass Mafia Click <a href="http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml" target="blank">this link </a>to hear my show on 90.5 The Night FM; Friday and Saturday Night: Midnight to 5 AM you bastards!

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 6-5-05 @ 1:30 PM

torker

06-05-2005, 03:51 PM

I got caught stealing Playboy when I was 12.  I thought I was slick, chatted up the lady, put my coat over the stack of magazines, pick up too many, she sees me, fat kid runs away empty handed.I worked security for a chain of large stores for about 5 years.  I caught a ton of shoplifters.  From felonious gangs to fat little kids.  <img height="71" src="http://www.vegsource.com/blog_images/fat_kid.jpg" width="71" border="0" />

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[center]He had performed his mistakes in the dark, so he was still a man.
[center]

Death Metal Moe

06-05-2005, 03:56 PM

quote: I shoplifted an A-Team coloring book. I was a little disappointed, though, because the plotline was horrible...<img src="http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif" border="0" /> Big Ass Mafia Click <a href="http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml" target="blank">this link </a>to hear my show on 90.5 The Night FM; Friday and Saturday Night: Midnight to 5 AM you bastards!This message was edited by East Side Dave on 6-5-05 @ 1:30 PM HAHAHAHAHA.  I PITy the fool who looks for involved, thought out plot lines in a coloring book! 

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Death Metal Moe

06-05-2005, 04:45 PM

I hardly ever shoplifted, honestly.  I ate a bunch of fresh fruit and veggies when I worked at Pathmark which is theft, but I never really walked into a place and stole.I used to hang with these fucking shitdick kids that were like almost professional thieves.  This one kid actually had me wait out in front of a music store, and walked out with a $400 guitar effects system down his pants and under his shirt.  Kid was good.But hanging with these kids made me edgy because I'd always wonder if TONIGHT was the time they were gonna get caught, and I'd be along for the ride so to speak.  So I stopped hanging with them.  I didn't need that shit.Oh wait, you know what?  I DID steal a cassette tape with those kids once.  It was a King Diamond tape.  I felt really bad after I did it, and I think that was like the ONLY thing I ever shoplifted.

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mikeyboy

06-05-2005, 05:16 PM

I don't think I ever shoplifted.  I was too scared of getting caught as a kid.

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sr71blackbird

06-05-2005, 06:48 PM

When I was a baby, maybe 1 or 2 yrs old, my mom had me in the shopping cart while she shopped in the super market and I must have grabbed a can of tomato paste and dropped it into her purse and she didnt realise it until we got home.  It still comes up now and again at family gatherings.

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PapaBear

06-05-2005, 08:26 PM

Speaking of big heists...  When I worked at Wal Mart, they sent in andercover loss prevention team to see how much stuff they could get away with stealing. They picked up two things when they went in that helped. First they grabbed a blue vest that someone had left lying around. Then they went to Jewelry and found the display case keys lying unattended.With these two tools, a pallet jack and a dolly, they got 10k in diamonds, 4 giant air compressors, several big screen TV's, the computer off the desk of the store manager's office, one of those crane things where you try to pick up a stuffed animal, and countless other things. I felt good, though. I was in charge of the cameras and they didn't get a single one!

<center><img src="http://www.geocities.com/pauleight/pb_sig.gif"></center>
<center>For my next Miracle, I'll be turning water into... FUNK!!!</center><center>KARMA IS</center>
<center>Thanks Monsterone for the sig!</center>

furie

06-05-2005, 08:36 PM

uncanny x-men #181 

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<a href="http://fallingtowardsapotheosis.blogspot.com/">mental vomit</a>

FUNKMAN

06-05-2005, 08:40 PM

candy

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WhistlePig

06-06-2005, 10:17 AM

The first (and last) was a tube of lipstick from woolworths when I was about 13. I felt so bad, I never shoplifted again.

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Alice S. Fuzzybutt

06-06-2005, 01:14 PM

Two pairs of mittens. I think I was about 4 or 5. I wore them too! My mom had no idea where they came from.

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Ronnie_Dobbs

06-06-2005, 01:24 PM

I used to steal a couple of pacs of baseball/x-men cards and these pewter figures from Shoppers Village in West Hempstead back in the 5th grade. Always felt real bad about it after the fact.<img title="pewter dragon" height="173" alt="pewter dragon" src="http://www.pewtermanor.com/fspd29a.jpg" width="218" border="0" />     <img height="174" src="http://www.tribalmoon.co.uk/htmlfolder/pagan/merlinstatue.jpg" width="125" border="0" />

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Tenbatsuzen

06-06-2005, 01:35 PM

quote: when i was younger, my sister and I would rob Caldor blind.  Ironically enough, that's where I got busted and got set on the straight and narrow.

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Reynolds

03-19-2007, 01:10 AM

Anyone used to shoplift as a kid? We used to go to the mall and make a game out of it. Used to go home with like 10 CD's, couple of shirts, whatever else I could get my hands on. Only time I got caught was for stealing recharchable batteries and vivarin from the local Big Wheel. Craziest thing I ever shoplifted was an iguana, and I kept it for ten years til it died. Used to have sleepovers as a kid, we'd get high as hell, walk to the local convenience store and rob the place blind.  We once had a bucket full of chewing tobacco, pipe tobacco, cigarettes and cigars, called it the cancer bucket, good times. 

This message was edited by mudeater on 3-19-07 @ 5:11 AM

scrotumhead

03-19-2007, 01:42 AM

I used to shot shoplifters as a hobby!

Marc with a c

03-19-2007, 05:53 AM

i know someone that steal cds from b&n

angelinad128

03-19-2007, 05:56 AM

No never did it, but was with people who did.

angrymissy

03-19-2007, 06:08 AM

Caldor was shoplifters heaven.When I was a freshman/sophmore in high school, my friends and I would load our pockets full of makeup and just walk out.

LOAF

03-19-2007, 06:11 AM

Wow I used to be  clepto! CD's mostly but hell I would try anything. The worst part is I finally got cuaght at k-mart when I was like 14 stealing fishing lures of all things???Yeah I was an idiot, but now I am a model citizen <img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" />

ralphbxny

03-19-2007, 06:18 AM

They say it looks like I am shoplifting Sausages in the front of my pants!!!

Marc with a c

03-19-2007, 06:19 AM

ralphbxny wrote: They say it looks like I am shoplifting Sausages in the front of my pants!!! who is 'they'

cupcakelove

03-19-2007, 06:22 AM

I was going to say I did it when I was a kid, but after reading what you wrote, I don't know if what I did could be put into the same category.  You and your friends deserve some kind of shop lifting medal.

angelinad128

03-19-2007, 06:40 AM

Marc with a c wrote: ralphbxny wrote: They say it looks like I am shoplifting Sausages in the front of my pants!!! who is 'they'<img src="/messageboard/tiny_mce/plugins/emotions/images/lol.gif" border="0" width="20" height="20" />

angelinad128

03-19-2007, 06:41 AM

angrymissy wrote: Caldor was shoplifters heaven.When I was a freshman/sophmore in high school, my friends and I would load our pockets full of makeup and just walk out.   I remember hearing that the were the best at returns.  You could return anything no matter where it was bought and they would take it no questuions asked.

Don Stugots

03-19-2007, 07:02 AM

from toys r us on bay parkway, i stole a half dozen WHICH WAY BOOKS in the A-Team series

angelinad128

03-19-2007, 07:24 AM

Don Stugots wrote: from toys r us on bay parkway, i stole a half dozen WHICH WAY BOOKS in the A-Team series Please say you were under 13 when you did this

Don Stugots

03-19-2007, 07:25 AM

angelinad128 wrote: Don Stugots wrote: from toys r us on bay parkway, i stole a half dozen WHICH WAY BOOKS in the A-Team series Please say you were under 13 when you did thisit was last week ok?  is that so wrong?

Tall_James

03-19-2007, 07:26 AM

Don Stugots wrote: from toys r us on bay parkway, i stole a half dozen WHICH WAY BOOKS in the A-Team series I love it when a plan comes together.

Jujubees2

03-19-2007, 07:31 AM

Don Stugots wrote: angelinad128 wrote: Don Stugots wrote: from toys r us on bay parkway, i stole a half dozen WHICH WAY BOOKS in the A-Team series Please say you were under 13 when you did thisit was last week ok?  is that so wrong?Only if you use them to lure under 13-year olds to your basement.Personally, I didn't shoplift much beyond an candy bar or two, but I was good at switching price tags (ah, the days before bar codes).  Got me a $50 pool cue for about $15.

This message was edited by Jujubees2 on 3-19-07 @ 11:35 AM

Furtherman

03-19-2007, 07:36 AM

LOAF wrote: Wow I used to be  clepto! CD's mostly but hell I would try anything. The worst part is I finally got cuaght at k-mart when I was like 14 stealing fishing lures of all things???I shoplifted once.  And it was fishing lures too!!  At a Clover store.  Security came after us in the parking lot.  My friend got caught, but I got away.

LOAF

03-19-2007, 07:37 AM

Furtherman wrote: LOAF wrote: Wow I used to be  clepto! CD's mostly but hell I would try anything. The worst part is I finally got cuaght at k-mart when I was like 14 stealing fishing lures of all things???I shoplifted once.  And it was fishing lures too!!  At a Clover store.  Security came after us in the parking lot.  My friend got caught, but I got away.  Whats funny is the lures were only like 2-3 bucks!!

STC-Dub

03-19-2007, 07:54 AM

Never shoplifted, though I did "break into" a skating rink shack when I was like 10 and take a candy bar.

A.J.

03-19-2007, 08:18 AM

Catholic guilt wouldn't allow me.

BLZBUBBA

03-19-2007, 09:07 AM

When I was in school the guys next door would steal merchants blind.  We would buy the hot merchandise knowingly.  They'd even take orders.  Their weirdest caper?  They actually stole one of those mechanical horses supermarkets used to have outside....the kind you put a quarter in.  They came dragging this thing up the stairs one night.

Fallon

03-19-2007, 09:11 AM

<img src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f7/Marge_Be_Not_Proud.gif/200px-Marge_Be_Not_Proud.gif" border="0" width="200" height="177" />"Capiche!"

SatCam

03-19-2007, 12:15 PM

cupcakelove wrote: I was going to say I did it when I was a kid, but after reading what you wrote, I don't know if what I did could be put into the same category. You and your friends deserve some kind of shop lifting medal.

jail?

extracheese

03-19-2007, 03:56 PM

Fuck you all. Your nothing but thieves. The Euphomism doesnt make it any less a crime. Its because of you that an item costs 4 bucks instead of 2. It never even occured to me to steal when i was young - my parents taught me that stealing was wrong early on. I just hope one of you thieves get robbed in your place of business and laugh it off just as easily.

Gwen

03-19-2007, 05:22 PM

I never stole anything or cheated on a test.  I was too guilty and too scared of getting caught. 

Friday

03-19-2007, 05:28 PM

I am a good girl.No really... I have never stolen anything ... my friends used to lift lipstick tubes at the CVS when we went to the mall... but I never did.  I just knew I would be caught.  Not willing to take that chance...

raulfd4

03-19-2007, 08:33 PM

i can remember my first experience with shoplifting very well.  i was six years old and i rode my bike to the local thrift drug.  i walked in and stole a hershey's chocolate bar...which i don't even like.  i remember biking like hell, being all paranoid.  when i "got away" i ate half the bar and felt SO guilty.that wore off, though.  i must have stolen pounds of candy from the local corner store with my friends later in life.

PapaBear

03-19-2007, 11:10 PM

When I was a kid, some of my friends were really into changing price tags on stuff at Nichols. (not this particular Nichols, but the same chain)<img src="http://www.wtv-zone.com/dpjohnson/60sdiscountstores/nicholscanopy.jpg" border="0" width="450" height="204" /> I only had the nerve to do it once. I changed the price on a cassette tape of John Lennon's "Rock N Roll".<img src="http://images.buymusichere.net/images/muze/530/535508.jpg" border="0" width="170" height="170" />The whole experience scared the Hell out of me. The only thing I can remember actually shoplifting was my first pack of condoms. I never did use them.

hedges

03-19-2007, 11:47 PM

I could never shoplift...alot of my friends would come home from the store with everything they got...I could never do it.

PapaBear

04-12-2008, 11:28 PM

I shoplifted an A-Team coloring book. I was a little disappointed, though, because the plotline was horrible...
http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif Big Ass Mafia Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml)to hear my show on 90.5 The Night FM; Friday and Saturday Night: Midnight to 5 AM you bastards!

This message was edited by East Side Dave on 6-5-05 @ 1:30 PM

Isn't Dave just the CUTEST!:wub:

Sorry. I'm bored.

Devo37

04-12-2008, 11:34 PM

candy. the first time it was taking 4 pieces of gum instead of the 3-for-5-cents price. soon after, it was just straight-out candy theft.

during my college years, many a beer bottle found its way into my pocket without payment.

sailor

04-13-2008, 03:29 AM

from like 4th to 7th grade i constantly stole candy and baseball cards from the drug store. i hated doing it and was nervous all the time, but couldn't stop.

tupper65

04-13-2008, 04:41 AM

I stole 2 pieces of Bazooka 2-cent gum from a bodega
http://pw1.netcom.com/~tabatto/bazooka.jpg

I felt so guilty that later that day I went in , left 4 cents on the counter, and walked out

led37zep

04-13-2008, 07:39 AM

I stole a pack of gum from the Thrifty's right across from my Jr High. I felt so shitty that I gave all the gum away to friends.

mugby43

04-13-2008, 10:15 PM

barbituates and condums, a large bunny and codiene

Contra

04-14-2008, 11:55 AM

I think I probably started with candy bars at first. I had this huge bubble jacket with a liner that buttoned tight in the front. I was able to stuff whatever into the jacket and the liner would hold it in place. Even the sleeves had elastic liners, so I could put things right up my sleeves and they wouldn't fall out. I got a lot of boxers, boxes of cookies, and comic cards I remember.