EffMeBoobs
09-30-2001, 08:10 AM
I'm not talking about common ducks here, those are harmless. Regular ducks paddle about in lakes, drink a bit of water, nibble at a bit of bread thrown by a small child (preferably a small Asian boy), waddle about on the shore quacking. I've nothing against those ducks. By all means feed them, make polite conversation, ask them how their day is going, congratulate them on their recent duckling.
Killer ducks are noticable by their evil glare. The way they are just that little bit more agressive than the other ducks. Notice how only one of the ducks seems to be getting all the bread you're throwing and unlike all the other ducks, you can't actually recall seeing it on the shore. Did it just wink at you? Was that little glint of light reflecting off the razor sharp teeth in it's mouth? Is there an unusually large ripple of water behind it, when it moves towards you? Are your screams for help being weakened by the fangs sucking the blood out of your neck?
At over 50 times the size of it's domesticated cousin, it's not suprising that killer ducks have evolved to conceal their true size. Killer ducks remain submerged during daylight hours. Like the tip of an iceberg they only show the top of their bodies (which conveniently look exactly like the common duck), only exposing themselves to their victim a few seconds before they attack. Killer duck attacks usually last between 13-14 seconds, during which the victim is first knocked unconscious by a large clawed web foot (typically 0.75 - 1 meter across) and then drained of blood.
If while at your local pond or lake, you see any signs of killer duck activity, you are advised not to hang around taking photos but to run screaming from the area immediately.
<img src=http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/images/fmb.jpg>
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND THE WTC VICTIMS<img src=http://members.aol.com/islejg24/images/flagusa.gif>
Killer ducks are noticable by their evil glare. The way they are just that little bit more agressive than the other ducks. Notice how only one of the ducks seems to be getting all the bread you're throwing and unlike all the other ducks, you can't actually recall seeing it on the shore. Did it just wink at you? Was that little glint of light reflecting off the razor sharp teeth in it's mouth? Is there an unusually large ripple of water behind it, when it moves towards you? Are your screams for help being weakened by the fangs sucking the blood out of your neck?
At over 50 times the size of it's domesticated cousin, it's not suprising that killer ducks have evolved to conceal their true size. Killer ducks remain submerged during daylight hours. Like the tip of an iceberg they only show the top of their bodies (which conveniently look exactly like the common duck), only exposing themselves to their victim a few seconds before they attack. Killer duck attacks usually last between 13-14 seconds, during which the victim is first knocked unconscious by a large clawed web foot (typically 0.75 - 1 meter across) and then drained of blood.
If while at your local pond or lake, you see any signs of killer duck activity, you are advised not to hang around taking photos but to run screaming from the area immediately.
<img src=http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/images/fmb.jpg>
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND THE WTC VICTIMS<img src=http://members.aol.com/islejg24/images/flagusa.gif>