I hooked up with a dirty old lady last night [Archive]

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LiquidCourage

08-01-2004, 12:18 PM

Last night I was at a bar and got REALLY fucking drunk. Anyway, I ended up hooking up with some dirty old lady. She just wouldn't leave me alone. She was so fucking nasty it was ridiculious! She just kept on jumping all over me, it was completely out of hand.

However, after she finally left me alone I ended up fucking around with her niece who she was there with. She was pretty fucking hot though. Not sure if it was worth it though, she was THAT nasty, hahaha.

FUNKMAN

08-01-2004, 12:33 PM

I hooked up with a dirty old lady last night

get ready to hook up with the local clinic...

when she told you she was 'on the pill' she didn't tell you it was penicillin...

it's great having a great time, just be careful...

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Mike Teacher

08-01-2004, 01:42 PM

Ok, so accentuate the Positive.

next time say:

'I hooked up with some Fucking Hot Chick with a Skanky Aunt'

=

We need more details! Enquiring minds, and minds like mine with nothing to do coz it sucks out wanna know!

:eg:

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LiquidCourage

08-01-2004, 01:47 PM

It seriously reminded me of Opie talking about the time he had a few too many and hooked up with that fat slob. That was me last night, haha.

keithy_19

08-01-2004, 02:35 PM

JPMNICK

08-01-2004, 02:50 PM

I kissed this girl last night at a party. She likes me, and she ain't bad looking or anything. I don't really like her at all, but I kissed her because, why would I turn down the oppurtunity to kiss a pretty girl.

hell yea! know you are learning!

Rent Casino and pay attention to the scene with Joe Pesci and Sharon Stone and how he treats her when they are in that trailer. great lesson on love.

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Thanks to Monsterone for my first sig.

ChickenHawk

08-01-2004, 03:22 PM

If your tongue looks like this in 4 days, notify your physician:

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HORDE KING FOREVER!!! ORACLE NEVER!!!
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<marquee behavior=alternate>EMFA</marquee>[color=white]

FUNKMAN

08-01-2004, 04:25 PM

Rent Casino and pay attention to the scene with Joe Pesci and Sharon Stone and how he treats her when they are in that trailer. great lesson on love.

They've been playing Casino on some cable station recently and evertime i see that scene i shake my head ans say "How The Hell Did They Leave That In" All she does is place her head close to his crotch and kept the camera on for a few seconds as they pulled the camera away. There was no 'pants unbuttoned or zipper unzipped and no head movement' It was so obviously fake! At least the scene in the car you could not se the womans head so it wasn't so obviously fake.

It reminded me of a scene in The Sopranos where Tony is getting oral and his body is shaking around like he is being electrocuted and had a look on his face like quazimoto. It was so obviously fake that you just say "What The F"...

Of course you know they are not really performing the act but come on! It's a top budget movie and show with top actors...

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LiquidCourage

08-02-2004, 08:21 AM

This really sucks. I was starting to become a "local" at that bar too. I can never go back there now. I mean, it was one of those places where all the bartenders are these hot, ex-Hooters girls. I feel like such an ass. Hopefully they didn't see me messing around with that dirty old hag, just her niece. Then maybe they'll think I'm some sort of "smooth operator" or something, haha.

Furtherman

08-02-2004, 08:37 AM

Don't sweat it, at worst it'll just be something they'll bust your ball about occasionally. But it's a bonding moment between bartender and customer.

Plus a Sea-Bond moment between you and a dirty old lady.

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This message was edited by Furtherman on 8-2-04 @ 12:39 PM

LiquidCourage

08-02-2004, 08:43 AM

I'm laughing my ass off at it all the time, but still, she WAS a nasty old hag. At least I can feel good knowing that I was basically jumped by her and was tryign to squirm away. It was awful. I was trying to get someone to break it up, but they just let it go and laughed their ass off at me.

blakjeezis

08-02-2004, 09:20 AM

I walked into the men's room at a bar once, and there was a hideous, make-up caked, dirty, nasty, old broad in there taking a leak. Of course there were no doors on the stalls. The conversation went something like this:

BJ: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were in here. (Edging toward the door)

H, M-UC, D, N, O B: It's okay, hun. You can stay if you like. (WINK)

BJ: Uhhhhh, no thanks.

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Broken bones sticking out of her virgin, white gown/She spread herself out like butter when she smacked the ground.

This message was edited by blakjeezis on 8-2-04 @ 1:22 PM

Mike Teacher

08-02-2004, 09:24 AM

I kissed this girl

Keith is Jill Sobule!

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TheMojoPin

08-02-2004, 10:24 AM

H, M-UC, D, N, O B

You just gave me 99 lives!

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1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

This message was edited by TheMojoPin on 8-2-04 @ 2:24 PM

blakjeezis

08-02-2004, 10:35 AM

Now if I could just find the luftballoons to go with 'em, you'd be fucking golden!

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If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!!
<marquee>INRI White people are so scared of blakjeezis INRI</marquee>
Broken bones sticking out of her virgin, white gown/She spread herself out like butter when she smacked the ground.

This message was edited by blakjeezis on 8-2-04 @ 2:35 PM