Review: White Chicks

[Little Tony DeFranco]

White Chicks



It takes a little time for Keenan Ivory Wayans' newest comedy "White Chicks" to kick into gear and once it gets rolling, it rocks dah houze..BOYEEE..I'm Shurrr. Funny rework of "Some Like It Hot" meets "Bad Boys" with a touch of Paris Hilton, FBI agents (Shawn and Marlon Wayans) go undercover to stop a kidnap plot on 2 Hampton heiresses by putting on prosthetic make-up and drag, simple and the gags are all done before but it comes off fresh because of the Wayans comic style.



Shawn is the Gallant, Marlon is the Goofus, they play off each other with comic perfection. The make-up prosthetics are funny and the slapstick gags fly like Ping-Pong balls. The real hard laughs come from Terry Crews (former NFL journeyman player and artist)as basketball great Latrell Spenser, a hard loving man on the make for some white meat (ifyaknowwhattImean). Everything that Crews does on screen is hilarious, trying to get Marlon (in drag) to accept his love and rejected only to want it more brings the laughs harder.



This is real lowbrow stuff, right in line with Scary Movie and any Farrelly Bros comedies (gags lifted from D&D and "Mary") with a good jab at the rich bitch lifestyle. The end is as stupid as anything I've ever seen, screwball and all but I didn't care. Just sit and have a crotch laugh. Crews is the next big thing, believe old Browntown!



http://www.browntownjohnny.com/index.php

Heartbeat is a Love Beat

[Iamnotatool]

It pisses me off that a movie like this can even get made. It doesn't offend me in the least bit, but if I put out a movie called Black Chicks starring Jim Carrey and Robin Williams, I'd be called a racist.

Which I'm not.

I hate everyone.

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[TheMojoPin]

There's no fucking way this godawful piece of shit is funny, even for a second.

Not even "so bad it's good"-funny. Everyone involved should get genital cancer and die.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[TheMojoPin]

And I'm posting this editorial again here, because it was seemingly written EXACTLY about this kind of garbage...

Let's put this into perspective on hip-hop terms. Talib Kweli struggles to go gold with conscious lyrics about history and culture while J Kwon goes platinum when his underage ass informs you about getting Tipsy. Turn to 106th and Park where the only possible way you will catch one of the conscious artists videos is if Kanye West is featured on the track (Big ups to Kanye but he's a whole `nother topic altogether). But let Lil John yell "Skeet Skeet" or "Okay!!!" and watch what happens. Where were our esteemed black voices defending black cultures dignity then? This is not anything new in our generation. We have been "cooning" for years on record and nobody has really stepped up and said shit. And for those who have.unfortunately nobody was listening. So why act so surprised now? Why because Snoop Dogg, Method Man and company made a movie that's really just an hour and a half music video complete with stewardess' dressed in revealing garb and a plane with an unrivaled hydraulics system? This isn't something that's brand new people. But here is the nature of the problem.you ready? Hold onto your seat people because what I am about to say may smack some of you upside your head. We don't support anything embracing intelligence and dignity! Groundbreaking shit, huh? (http://www.hiphopdx.com/index/features/id.297)

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[ADF]

Anyone giving this movie a good review should be banned.

<center><a href="http://somesuch.org" target="_blank"><img src="http://somesuch.org/sigpics/topato.jpg"></a><i><br><br><b>blablam!</i></b></center>

[TheMojoPin]

I had to stop myself.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[mikeyboy]

And now he must wear his badge of shame as a mod quote.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
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[Iamnotatool]

Huh?

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[ADF]

Review Tony's mod quote and you shall be enlightened.

<center><a href="http://somesuch.org" target="_blank"><img src="http://somesuch.org/sigpics/topato.jpg"></a><i><br><br><b>blablam!</i></b></center>

[Mike Teacher]

For me; I saw the Trailer in the theatre, and before it was halfway over I realized:

They dont look like girls, and

They dont even look Human

fucking a they look more like Stoltz in Mask. Thats a movie pill the size of the fucking Hindenburg.

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This message was edited by Mike Teacher on 6-24-04 @ 11:08 PM

[Iamnotatool]

Ahh. Little Tony. I hardly knew ya

<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/iamnotatool.gif>
Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

[JohnnyCash]

That looks like the worst movie ever made.

<IMG SRC="http://www.osirusonline.com/cashsig.gif">
Thank You Reefdwella

[IrishAlkey]

I'm better than the rest of you and I find the commercials to be amusing.

Suck on that, Mojo.

<center>http://academ.hvcc.edu/~01885716/images/ia-sig.jpg</center>

[FMJeff]

i heard it was awful...not even funny

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/fmjeff.gif">
<br>
It made my heart sing.

[Doctor Manhattan]

This is what I read about the film:



David Bossie, president of Citizens United, a conservative advocacy group, thinks so and has filed a formal complaint with the Federal Election Commission and other federal government agencies against the film. The group alleges that paid broadcast advertisements for the film are subject to the restrictions and regulatory requirements of federal campaign law.

Wow, I had no idea "White Chicks" was so controversal...Wha? "Fahrenheit 9/11"? oh, This is that dumb movie with 2 of the Wayans brothers in white face? How did that get released? What happened to the two Wayans brothers that were funny? (Keannan Ivory and Damon)

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This message was edited by SKW on 6-25-04 @ 6:48 AM

[angrymissy]

i am seeing this. i have been waiting for this movie since i saw the first trailer. you are all crazy.

<BR><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/missy2.gif" width="300" height="100" border="1">

[East Side Dave]

Those two Wayans are the worst. They're the Mickael Skakel and William Kennedy-Smith of Wayans. Die you bastards!!!! Ban Little Tony!!!! And Ban Missy!!!! And Ban Me!!!!

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on Jersey's 90.5 The Night FM; (weeknights)-
Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning- 3 to 5 AM.

[mikeyboy]

Don't make me turn this into a game of "banny".

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[East Side Dave]

(ameriban werewolf in london?)



please don't ban me, mikey

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Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on Jersey's 90.5 The Night FM; (weeknights)-
Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning- 3 to 5 AM.

[Freakshow]

It wouldn't turn into banny, if you
<img width=400 src=http://supergrass.densitron.net/diary6/m�nchen/glockenspiel.jpg>
locked it up, g



<center><img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/moon.jpg>
Marge, you're standing in the way of my boyhood dream of managing a beautiful country singer!<br>Your boyhood dream is to eat the world's biggest hoagie! And you did it at the county fair last year, remember!?</center>

[East Side Dave]

you ban't always get what you want
no
you ban't always get what you want.....









-but you ban try some time
to get what you neeeeeee-eeeeeeed!

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Big Ass Mafia

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Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning- 3 to 5 AM.

[mdr55]

That movie looks funny!!! I might watch it but I think I pretty much saw the whole movie watching the previews. :)

[East Side Dave]

:8o:

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Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on Jersey's 90.5 The Night FM; (weeknights)-
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[mikeyboy]

I'm going to lay down the Marlboro Ban.

http://www.cigarette.com/images/marlboro_man.jpg

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Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)

[Mike Teacher]

::putting on Best Of Wings::

Ban on the Run!!...

:eg:

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[blakjeezis]

Phew! This thread's starting to stink.

http://a1468.g.akamai.net/f/1468/580/1d/pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/74372/200.jpg

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If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!!
<marquee><font color=red>INRI</font> White people are so scared of blakjeezis<font color=red> INRI</font></marquee>
I'm Rick James, bitch!

[Freakshow]

I don't think that's going to cut it. We're going to have go with the bantastik
<img src=http://images.orgill.com/60x60/6065122.jpg>

<center><img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/moon.jpg>
Marge, you're standing in the way of my boyhood dream of managing a beautiful country singer!<br>Your boyhood dream is to eat the world's biggest hoagie! And you did it at the county fair last year, remember!?</center>

This message was edited by Freakshow on 6-25-04 @ 11:26 AM

[East Side Dave]

Tobey Maguire

in


SpiderBan

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on Jersey's 90.5 The Night FM; (weeknights)-
Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning- 3 to 5 AM.

[TheMojoPin]

Everyone's homework tonight is to read my new book, "And The Ban Played On."

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
1979 << December boys got it BAD >> "You can tell some lies about the good times we've had, but I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[East Side Dave]

Now batting


number 13






Alex


Banriguez














number 13

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on Jersey's 90.5 The Night FM; (weeknights)-
Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning- 3 to 5 AM.

[Freakshow]

Can't do homework tonight mojo, i'm going the ban-anarama concert
<img src=http://www.gocontinental.com/photos2/bananarama2a.jpg>

<center><img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/moon.jpg>
Marge, you're standing in the way of my boyhood dream of managing a beautiful country singer!<br>Your boyhood dream is to eat the world's biggest hoagie! And you did it at the county fair last year, remember!?</center>

[mikeyboy]

Ladies and gentlemen.... Eric Bana!

http://www.hulkmovie.com/images/cast/eric_bana2.jpg

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Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)

[FMJeff]

movie was awful except for Terry Crews...

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/fmjeff.gif">
<br>
It made my heart sing.

[Tenbatsuzen]

<img src="http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/jack-lord.jpg">

Book 'em... Ban-O.





<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[Billy Staples]

Hey be nice

One of my managers clients is the hot girlfriend of one of the Wayans brothers in that movie...and she's not white, but smokin hot!!!

Staples
check her out in the flick

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0381707/DF-02860.jpg

or of course...http://www.greenkeymanagement.com

OK, hotter than i rememebered, more pix

http://www.rochelleaytes.com/pages/1/index.htm

This message was edited by Billy Staples on 6-27-04 @ 1:55 PM

[Tenbatsuzen]

Hey be nice

One of my managers clients is the hot girlfriend of one of the Wayans brothers in that movie...and she's not white, but smokin hot!!!

Staples



Hey Billy?

I just tripped over this name you just dropped.







<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[Billy Staples]

can't help it that I've gone Hollywwod!!!

[Tenbatsuzen]

can't help it that I've gone Hollywwod!!!



Sorry Billy... in order to "go Hollywood", you have to at least spell the goddamn town right.

edit: And Billy, I'm not going to get into dick-swinging about being in the business. You should know that the first rule of being in "the business" is to not be bragging about it.



<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

This message was edited by Tenbatsuzen on 6-27-04 @ 2:19 PM

[SuperClerk]

http://www.bryanshulkpage.com/Images/s10018.jpg
David Banner

http://mysite.verizon.net/vze2wwdw/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/shuffle.jpg

[Reephdweller]

http://www.uiowa.edu/~bijou/shining.jpg

All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban. All ban and no ban makes ban a ban ban.

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
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<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

This message was edited by Reefdweller on 6-28-04 @ 11:31 AM

[stickyfingers]

I'd rather watch Ban of Brothers

or...

Go check out the comedy routine of Tony Banya

Banya!



<img src=http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/sf2_sig.jpg>

[Tenbatsuzen]

I'm waiting for Funkman to make the most obvious joke here.

But if he won't...

Robert Urich is back from the dead, in he's starring as Ban Tana in VEGA$: The Next Generation!



<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[Billy Staples]

'can't help it that I've gone Hollywwod!!!'

tenbat

C'mon

spelled right or wrong it is dripping with sarcasm and self deprication, as it couldnt be further from the truth

You can talk all u want about being in the biz, dont bother me, but I am not getting into a pissing contest with you again.

OK, fair enough...I think I know the biz well enough to know what to do and what not to do, but thank you anyway

I wish you well

staples

[mdr55]

I saw the DVD yesterday and the movie was funny as hell. The dance scene with the battle was funny as hell. And all the real girls in the movie were fine looking as hell.

(Don't forget to Vote) paid for by Bush/Kerry

[Mike Teacher]

they play off each other with comic perfection.


OK I now know I have another reviewer that if they like it, I run the other way.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/esig">

[Doctor Manhattan]

And all the real girls in the movie were fine looking as hell.

You better hope those were real girls.

Wasn't this thread locked?

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