Man Uses Umbrella as a Parachute...

[Furtherman]

...and it didn't work!

A man in China ended up in hospital after he tried to use his umbrella as a makeshift parachute. (http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_983923.html)

Reminds me of the time I jumped out my third story window into a glass of water and broke 37 bones.

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7">
...with thanks to JustJon

[Jennitalia]

I used to put a colander on my head an tuck a towel down the back of my shirt and pretend to be Super Grover.

That didn't work, either. :(

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Janice.jpg>

[mikeyboy]

I always thought that if you ran off a cliff, you wouldn't fall until you looked down. Apparently that doesn't work either.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)

[Furtherman]

There was this other time a group of teenagers chased me into an alley. I painted a door on the wall in order to escape.

That didn't work.

I got beat up.

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7">
...with thanks to JustJon

[newport king]

this one time, when i was wearing rollerskates and a rocket pack while chasing a road runner out in the desert he ran into a cave. it turns out he just painted what looked like a cave and i skated right into the side of a canyon.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/newportking.jpg">

[FUNKMAN]

There was this other time a group of teenagers chased me into an alley. I painted a door on the wall in order to escape.

That didn't work.
.


got to paint the key dude!
:)

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

[Lumber]

I know capes don`t work!

<IMG SRC=http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:MMCU_gW497cJ:www2.bumfights.com/indecline/pics/1.jpg>

[jeffdwright2001]

Bullets don't bounce off of you if you shout "Bazing!" either.

[JustJon]

But can bullets bounce off you but you have to duck the gun when they throw it at you?

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon11.gif"><BR><A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

[jeffdwright2001]

But can bullets bounce off you but you have to duck the gun when they throw it at you?
Question is unclear. Please ask again later.
http://www.vikingupdate.com/entertainment/8ball/magic8.gif

[FMJeff]

http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/trinity/projects/egypt/clipart/pyramid.gif


YESSSSS

YESSSSSS!!!!


COME TO ME COMEDY!!!!

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/fmjeff.gif">
<br>
It made my heart sing.

[Justice4all]

http://www.cerbslair.com/cgi-bin/acme/acmeguard.cgi?wilecard&gif

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
"At 16 I was masturbating in a sweat-sock"-Jay Mohr

This message was edited by Justice4all on 6-11-04 @ 6:19 PM

[Justice4all]

Whoops..double post...sorry

This message was edited by Justice4all on 6-11-04 @ 6:18 PM

[grlNIN]

I put a cape on my dog and threw him out the window.

Apparently they can't fly.

<br>
<br><center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ninny">
<br>Don't know about you
but i am un chien andalusia</center>

[KERMIT]

Redsox try to beat the Yankees by changing uniforms and playing in yankee stadium........That didnt work. They are still the redsox.

<center><img border=1 src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Arod13"><br></center>



Its summer time. Watch the Yanks sizzle and the Redsox fizzle.
<a href=http://kanesblog.blogspot.com/ target=_new>Kane'sBlog</a>

[mikeyboy]

I think KERMIT missed the point.


By the way, Wondertwin powers do NOT activate.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)

[grlNIN]

Digging a hole to China doesn't work either.

<br>
<br><center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ninny">
<br>Don't know about you
but i am un chien andalusia</center>

[samnyc]

Listen Kermit we're trying to build a comedy pyramid here. Don't you see the construction signs?

[bigbaldirish]

someone pointed a gun in my direction, and i tried to tie it into a bow.

it didn't work.

then i shit my pants.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/societyofirish/images/bbisig3.jpg" width=300 height=100></htpdiv>
www.societyofmyera.50megs.com (http://www.societyofmyera.50megs.com)

[grlNIN]

Don't ever look into cannons.

<br>
<br><center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ninny">
<br>Don't know about you
but i am un chien andalusia</center>

[samnyc]

I have a cilo full of gold coins and bars. Last night I thought I could dive into it from about 50 feet and take a swim. It didn't work and now I'm in the hospital.

[mikeyboy]

I held a lit firecracker in my hand. I thought it was going to turn my skin all black and make my hair stick straight up in the air. It didn't.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)

[Tall_James]

I once tied a rocket engine to my back while I was wearing roller skates in order to catch a bird.

The flames from the engine gave me 3rd degree burns over my back and ass while the bird just flew away.

Imagine my surprise.


<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/patton.jpg>
Avoiding household responsibilites...one post at a time
[center]The Best Blog You're Not Reading (http://cheeseeatingbird.blogspot.com)

This message was edited by Tall_James on 6-11-04 @ 8:24 PM

[Tall_James]

Another time, I was swimming in the ocean and a strong undercurrent started to drag me under. I tried using my telepathic powers on sealife in order to have a friendly dolphin whisk me safely to shore.

Didn't happen.


<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/patton.jpg>
Avoiding household responsibilites...one post at a time
[center]The Best Blog You're Not Reading (http://cheeseeatingbird.blogspot.com)

This message was edited by Tall_James on 6-11-04 @ 8:27 PM

[cheezeemee]

I cleaned out my colon today

http://mysite.verizon.net/vze6pk84/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/jdi.jpg
Funny as Pergatory

[mikeyboy]

I hit my little brother in the head with a frying pan, because I thought his head would vibrate and take the shape of the frying pan. It didn't.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)

[Mike Teacher]

Where do you get the ACME Rockets?

Im looking all over the fucking place for them.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/newsig2">

[samnyc]

One time this hunter was chasing me and I hid in a hole, thinking that I could crawl through underground and emerge from the hole in back of him and tap him on the shoulder.

Unfortunately, this didn't work out.

[grlNIN]

A coyote was chasing me, naturally i dropped an anvil on him.

PETA did not like this.

<br>
<br><center><img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=ninny">
<br>Don't know about you
but i am un chien andalusia</center>

[FUNKMAN]

this big guy was squeezing me so tight that my head turned into a big red beet... so i grabbed a can of spinach and busted his face with it...

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

[bigbaldirish]

i made a sandwich that was three feet tall, but unfortunately both my dog and myself could not unhinge our jaws to eat it. so i tried to accordian the sandwiches and it just made a huge mess.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/societyofirish/images/bbisig3.jpg" width=300 height=100></htpdiv>
www.societyofmyera.50megs.com (http://www.societyofmyera.50megs.com)

[Contra]

I know this great trick that knocks'em dead, and it works!

Unfortunately, I can only do it once.

Another Contra and LSP joint production
<img src=http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/contra1.gif>
Easy come easy go...Live is but a dream...See you space cowboy

[reeshy]

I always thopught that if you got stopped by a cop for running a redlight, I would show a little leg and tit....didn't work!!!

[center]<IMG SRC=http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:z0F-oPYq4nYJ:www.astabgay.com/gayicons/qc6.jpg>
[center]

[FUNKMAN]

helpful hint

if someone offers you a spider ghoulash(sp?) for catching a rabbit, don't do it

it tastes horrible

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

[bigbaldirish]

one day while i was chopping down a tree, it started to fall almost on top of me. so i blew on it hoping it would tip the other way.

the hospital was not amused.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/societyofirish/images/bbisig3.jpg" width=300 height=100></htpdiv>
www.societyofmyera.50megs.com (http://www.societyofmyera.50megs.com)

[mikeyboy]

Somebody pointed a gun at me, so I tried to plug the barrel with my finger.

Goodbye finger.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)

[Furtherman]

I was playing hide and seek and I thought if I stood sideways next to a flagpole, no one looking at that pole would see me.

It didn't work.

I was seen.

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7">
...with thanks to JustJon

[bigbaldirish]

i put vanishing cream all over my body and tried to play hide and seek.

mom told me to put on my clothes and stay in my room without tv for a week.


<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/societyofirish/images/bbisig3.jpg" width=300 height=100></htpdiv>
www.societyofmyera.50megs.com (http://www.societyofmyera.50megs.com)

[sr71blackbird]

Once I bought an 8 foot weather balloon and a tank of helium and took a 3 litre bottle and a makshift parachute for it and I filled the bottle with a note to return the the letter with where and when it was found with a postage paid envelope and stuff. I painted the bottle with glow in the dark paint so it could be seen as it floated along. I launced it 5 years ago in Kings Park and havent heard a word back yet. Later I found out that the balloons pop by themselves at a certian altitude, so its probably still somewhere in Long Island. I had the idea that it would float for thousands of miles and Id get the card back from someone in China or something... I guess I saw too many cartoons as a kid. I videotaped it's launch too.

<center>
http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=8 </center>


<center><B>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Yerdaddy,Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</B></center>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>Amidst the mists and coldest frosts, with stoutest wrists and loudest boasts, he thrusts his
fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.</marquee>

[FUNKMAN]

i once drove a truck over a cliff and planned to stop right before hitting the ground by applying the 'air brakes'...

ouch!

<img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/funkman.gif">

[bigbaldirish]

i once drove a truck over a cliff and planned to stop right before hitting the ground by applying the 'air brakes'...

ouch!




i did the same thing with almost no gas in the car expecting it to stop when i ran out!

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/societyofirish/images/bbisig3.jpg" width=300 height=100></htpdiv>
www.societyofmyera.50megs.com (http://www.societyofmyera.50megs.com)

[Shecky]

http://www.trashfiction.co.uk/batman2.jpg

This message was edited by Shecky on 6-13-04 @ 1:34 AM

[Johnny4]

Somebody forgot to tell the chinese guy to yell " Chimchimcheroo". Then the umbrella trick works.

For example: Kindest Regards, Your Name

[Shecky]

The guy did it all wrong.

He was supposed to swallow the umbrella then open it when it was inside him, then jump out the window. Everybody knows that.

[Furtherman]

Upon walking up to the bad guy's hideout I noticed a Welcome Mat. Sensing a trap door I stood next to the mat before I rang the doorbell.

That didn't work.

I fell though a trap door anyway.

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7">
...with thanks to JustJon