Justice4all
05-06-2004, 09:28 AM
Read these little gems and I thought most of them were outright funny.
Hope you enjoy.
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
From new Minnesota reliever Terry Mulholland, after the Twins purchased his contract from Seattle -- for $1:
"It's a dollar well spent."
From Yankees GM Brian Cashman, after his team had gotten swept by the Red Sox:
"I'm going to go home, kiss my wife, hug my kids and kick the (crap) out of my dog."
From Pirates bopper Craig Wilson, who -- after being asked, by the Beaver County Times' John Perrotto about a couple of shaky defensive plays -- reached into his locker and pulled out a Rawlings first-base mitt that had "Gold Glove" stamped in the pocket:
"See, I'm a Gold Glover. I'm a Gold Glove-wearing fielder."
From Braves third baseman Mark DeRosa, following the first four-error game by a Braves third baseman since 1975, after the Denver Post's Mike Klis asked him if his mama had ever told him there'd be days like this: "Not like this, she didn't."
From the ever-quotable Brewers coach Rich Donnelly, on why his team sent pitcher Chris Saenz back to the minors a day after he'd been called up for an emergency start and held the Cardinals to two hits in six innings:
"He's like a substitute teacher. In for a day. Pay him. And he's gone. He came in, did great, had breakfast, and he left. He was like Superman. He flew in. He got the job done. And now he's gone."
From Cardinals reliever Ray King, who was so inspired by the sight of President Bush throwing out the first ball Opening Day that he promptly ran 3-and-0 counts on the first two hitters he faced:
"The president threw one more strike than I did."
<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
Bowie, Md.: Berkeley, I'm so glad you're back!; I've really missed The Far Side all these years.
Berkeley Breathed: Yes, thank you, but I don't draw Far Side. I draw Calvin and Hobbes.
Hope you enjoy.
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
From new Minnesota reliever Terry Mulholland, after the Twins purchased his contract from Seattle -- for $1:
"It's a dollar well spent."
From Yankees GM Brian Cashman, after his team had gotten swept by the Red Sox:
"I'm going to go home, kiss my wife, hug my kids and kick the (crap) out of my dog."
From Pirates bopper Craig Wilson, who -- after being asked, by the Beaver County Times' John Perrotto about a couple of shaky defensive plays -- reached into his locker and pulled out a Rawlings first-base mitt that had "Gold Glove" stamped in the pocket:
"See, I'm a Gold Glover. I'm a Gold Glove-wearing fielder."
From Braves third baseman Mark DeRosa, following the first four-error game by a Braves third baseman since 1975, after the Denver Post's Mike Klis asked him if his mama had ever told him there'd be days like this: "Not like this, she didn't."
From the ever-quotable Brewers coach Rich Donnelly, on why his team sent pitcher Chris Saenz back to the minors a day after he'd been called up for an emergency start and held the Cardinals to two hits in six innings:
"He's like a substitute teacher. In for a day. Pay him. And he's gone. He came in, did great, had breakfast, and he left. He was like Superman. He flew in. He got the job done. And now he's gone."
From Cardinals reliever Ray King, who was so inspired by the sight of President Bush throwing out the first ball Opening Day that he promptly ran 3-and-0 counts on the first two hitters he faced:
"The president threw one more strike than I did."
<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/Justice4All.gif>
Bowie, Md.: Berkeley, I'm so glad you're back!; I've really missed The Far Side all these years.
Berkeley Breathed: Yes, thank you, but I don't draw Far Side. I draw Calvin and Hobbes.