I make porn out of regular TV.

[Tenbatsuzen]

One of the ways I amuse myself when I'm bored is by converting movies and television shows into porno flicks.

It started by someone saying "Busty the Vampire Slayer" and it just degenerated from there.

Here are some of the classics:

A specialized feature, "Analass" with double agent Sydney Brist-ho.

"Really, Really Good Friends" with Moanica, Feelme, and Hoey. Episode: The One With Bukkake.

A finishing school for sluts, yes, it's "Gilwhore Girls".

Lesbian porn with a blended family: " The Brady Munch".


Yes, I'm entertained easily.




<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[Furtherman]

One Tree Shaped Dildo.

wait.. that doesn't work.

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=7">
...with thanks to JustJon

[Tenbatsuzen]

One Tree Shaped Dildo.

wait.. that doesn't work.



You're right, it doesn't.

"Spew Calling" - a girl's supernatural addiction to sperm helps her solve crimes!

<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[blakjeezis]

Washington DC insider comes to terms with his impotence, "Not so Hard ball".

<IMG SRC =http://hometown.aol.com/bonedaddy5/images/blakjeezis.jpg>
If I were any better, I'd have to be twins!!
<marquee><font color=red>2%</font> White people are so scared of blakjeezis<font color=red> 2%</font></marquee>
Yerdaddy did this. Blame him.

[Arienette]

anal - the vampire with a hole. (spin-off of [i]busty the vampire slayer).

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>i think i had better find some disbelief to suspend<br>'cause i don't wanna feel like this again </center>

[A.J.]

24 Inches

<img src=http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/AJinDC-Sig.jpg>

A Skidmark/canofsoup15 production.

Red Sox Nation

[stickyfingers]

24 Inches


What would that be? You, some broad, and two dudes with 10 inch dinks?


Oh yeah and....Everybody Loves Gaymen or Rear Factor



<img src=http://img18.photobucket.com/albums/v53/monster6sixty6/guests/sf2_sig.jpg>

[Tall_James]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Nymphettes


<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/tj2_sig.gif>


The Priest wore black on the seventh day and sat stone-faced while the building burned
[center]

[suedeface]

Golden Shower Girls

[Tenbatsuzen]

24 Inches



Actually, we're going to go with "The Magnificent 7 Inches". Ssssorry.

Rear Factor - Awesome!

George Steinbrenner's All-Rape Cable station: The No Network.

Anal with a female judge: Fudging Amy

A medical drama with Dick Van Dyke: Diagnosis STD

Fat Gay Porn: King of Queers







<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[Tall_James]

Everybody Does Raymond


<img src=http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/tj2_sig.gif>


The Priest wore black on the seventh day and sat stone-faced while the building burned
[center]

[JPMNICK]

I watch the reality show where we can text in our vote for the winner, American Anal

http://home.comcast.net/~nickcontardo/jpm_sig.jpg
Thanks to Monsterone for my first sig.

[Patches]

NBC Nightly Nudes
King of Queefs

and of course, West Virginia's own:

All in the Family

<img src=http://img24.photobucket.com/albums/v72/bcqueens/p_sig.jpg>
<i>Courtesy of Monsterone</i>
<b>FUCK THIS GAME</B>
<i>I tried to change, but I changed my mind. I think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine</i> -FOW

[JustJon]

It started by someone saying "Busty the Vampire Slayer" and it just degenerated from there.
The actual porno name is "Buffy the Vampire Layer"

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon11.gif"><BR><A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

[Arienette]

it would be best if it were busty, the vampire layer

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>i think i had better find some disbelief to suspend<br>'cause i don't wanna feel like this again </center>

[JPMNICK]

Instead of the O.C. we could have The D.P.



http://home.comcast.net/~nickcontardo/jpm_sig.jpg
Thanks to Monsterone for my first sig.

[Arienette]

just the ten of us - my favorite gang bang
my two dads - incest porn


<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>i think i had better find some disbelief to suspend<br>'cause i don't wanna feel like this again </center>

[Patches]

Malcolm in the Middle- everyone's favorite 3 way gay porn!

<img src=http://img24.photobucket.com/albums/v72/bcqueens/p_sig.jpg>
<i>Courtesy of Monsterone</i>
<b>FUCK THIS GAME</B>
<i>I tried to change, but I changed my mind. I think I'll have another glass of Mexican wine</i> -FOW

[A.J.]

Balloon Knot's Landing

<img src=http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v124/Canofsoup15/Sigs/AJinDC-Sig.jpg>

A Skidmark/canofsoup15 production.

Red Sox Nation

This message was edited by AJinDC on 4-7-04 @ 5:26 PM

[East Side Dave]

"Cum-Guzzling Cheers"

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia

Click this link (http://www.publicbroadcasting.net/thenight/ppr/index.shtml) to hear my show on Jersey's 90.5 The Night FM; (weeknights)-
Sunday night/Monday morning through Thursday night/Friday morning- 3 to 5 AM.

[Reephdweller]

Here's a couple, some are crude, but that's what you get when drunken Reefy is playin' along...

Silver Spoons Up The Ass

Different Strokes (fine the way it is)

Mayberry Well Be Puttin' Out

King of Schwings

Kuntlow and Cram'er

UnCrossing Jordan

Groin Pains

One Gay At A Time

China's Peach

Fuckerama


<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Reephdweller]

G*A*S*H

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[sr71blackbird]

NYPD Blue Balls

XXX Files

Hershey Highway to Heaven

Hardcorecastle and McCormack

Planet of the Gapes

This Old Whorehouse



<center>
http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=8 </center>


<center><B>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</B></center>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>( o Y o )</marquee>

[sr71blackbird]

Murphy Browneye

Taint Elsewhere

Mary Tyler Whore

AsshoooooooOOOooooooooooooole Train

Rhodeher

The Golden Shower Girls

<center>
http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=8 </center>


<center><B>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</B></center>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>( o Y o )</marquee>

This message was edited by sr71blackbird on 4-7-04 @ 9:34 PM

[Reephdweller]

Chico and the Man Ass

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Reephdweller]

Joan of Cockadia

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Tenbatsuzen]

G*A*S*H




We just hit the top of the pyramid. I literally spit my soda out because I could just imagine what the box cover would look like.



<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[LatinSpiceXoX]

Dawson's Deek



[center][b]"The Chewing Gum-Popper <a href="http://members.aol.com/xlatinnydollx/doll.html">CHICK!</a><br><img src="http://members.aol.com/xlatinnydollx/images/sigpic.jpg"><br>Thanks Katylina!

[Melrapuo]

I Dream of Weenie
Leave It In Beaver

<img src="http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/mikeyboy/melrapuo_sig.jpg">
Thanks to Mikeyboy for the Sig
YANKEES FAN SINCE BIRTH!

[Reephdweller]

Private Benjamin's Privates

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Reephdweller]

Hawaii 5 Oh-gasm!

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Mike Teacher]

Damn I thought this thread was about stuff on TV that good enough to *be* porn. I don't know about you, but when I was 15, there werent a lot of options interms of batch material. You had your Cosmo magazine, maybe some Playboys and a weathered old Penthouse; often, you had zero reading material, so there it is, your TV.

Is this sick if I confess I batched to a Jordache Jeans commercial that was on during a Don Kirchner's rock Concert?

What's really sick is remembering being so desperate and horny; when it came on I knew I had 30 seconds, and for me, that is just not enough time. Usually.

Anyway; trying to top G*A*S*H is tough, so I'll just sink to the lowest low and go with:

Ball In The Family

The Courtship of Eddie's Father and the UPS delivery Man

Mayberry, HIV

Wow do I wanna Fuck Lynda Carter in that Wonder Woman Outfit

Ok that last one was a stretch. Actually, all are weak.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/newsig">

[Reephdweller]

Wow do I wanna Fuck Lynda Carter in that Wonder Woman Outfit



This brings up another good topic, Old School TV chicks you wanted to bang...here's mine...

Linda Carter as Wonder Woman

All of the Charlie's Angel's chicks

Lindsay Wagner as The Bionic Woman

Barbara Eden as Jeannie

All of the Gilligan's Island chicks, including Mrs's Howell

Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha Stephens

Cindy Williams as Shirley Feeney

Pat Priest as Marilyn Munster

Plus the chicks from One Day at a Time
(Valerie Bertinelli and Mackenzie Phillips)

Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Arienette]

i thought this was funny before i realized that you stole it from letterman.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>to think i might not see those eyes<br>it makes it so hard not to cry<br>and as we say our long goodbyes, i nearly do</center>

[Johnathan H Christ]

American Cornhole

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/logo width=300 height=100>
SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MANPLEASER
"his very conception was an act of animosity, why shouldnt his entire life be one as well?"

[Wormwood]

Two Guys a Girl and a Petroleum Based Lubricant

7th Heathen

60 Midgets



<IMG SRC="http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/0903/dfaz11779/3e855bc7.gif">
Get Your Riot Gear Ready, Millwall Go's Europe

[Patches]

BEVERLY HILLS 9 INCHES IN A HO!

<img src=http://img24.photobucket.com/albums/v72/bcqueens/patches2.jpg>

<b>I'll punch every one of those bees in the face. Fuck bees. -Dane Cook</B>

[Melrapuo]

Scatman (a show we all know Ed would love to watch)

<img src="http://img1.photobucket.com/albums/1003/mikeyboy/melrapuo_sig.jpg">
Thanks to Mikeyboy for the Sig
YANKEES FAN SINCE BIRTH!

This message was edited by Melrapuo on 4-8-04 @ 7:07 PM

[sr71blackbird]

Beverly Holebillys

Twin Peeks

The Honey Mooners

The Flintstonecocks

<center>
http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=8 </center>


<center><B>My Thanks to Just Jon, Reefdwella, ADF, Monsterone and Katylina for the sig-pic help and creation!</B></center>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=1>( o Y o )</marquee>

[Reephdweller]

American Glad-He-Ate-Her

http://www.amusementsunlimited.com/images/jousting3.jpg

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Reephdweller]

The O'Horny Factor


http://images.amazon.com/images/P/158322601X.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3">
Reefy's website... (http://www.osirusonline.com/)</center>
<font size="1" color="red">
<center>Check out The Ron and Fez Show Logs...UPDATED!!!!! (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)</center>
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[mikeyboy]

i thought this was funny before i realized that you stole it from letterman.


This bit has been around for a long, long time before it got posted here or showed up on Letterman.

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=mikeyboy">
Ron & Fez Show Log (http://www.osirusonline.com/ronfez.htm)
I'm dull and too low-energy!

[Tenbatsuzen]

This bit has been around for a long, long time before it got posted here or showed up on Letterman.





The BIT isn't what got stolen. It was the "Magnificent Seven" joke. I know the bit has been used before. THat was my issue.



<center><img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/psychosig03.jpg"></center>

[LatinSpiceXoX]

The Hump Boat

My Wife and Tricks

Steampipe Anal

Pleasuring Susan

Hill Street Hoes

Sabrina the Teenage Trick

Who wants to Bang a Millionaire?



[center][b]"The Chewing Gum-Popper <a href="http://members.aol.com/xlatinnydollx/doll.html">CHICK!</a><br><img src="http://members.aol.com/xlatinnydollx/images/sigpic.jpg"><br>Thanks Katylina!

[sleepyeyed_Jynx]

Hollywood Queers

The Wonder Rears

Jesus - The Source of my Strength!
<IMG SRC="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/thejynx2.JPG">
<marquee>"The Revolution will not be televised!"</marquee>
Jimmy Hendrix-BEST GUITARIST, EVER!

[jamesdiggy]

Access Holly Wood

<IMG SRC="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/diggy.gif">

A Ted Knight in Shining Armor
I am now blessed with an ADF sigpic

[high fly]

Guess I may as well wheel out my previous comedy pyramid winner,



Green Chancres.








" and they ask me why I drink"
http://64.177.177.182/katylina/highflysig.jpg
Big ups to sex bomb baby Katylina (LHOOQ) for the sig!

[Johnny Fontane]

Is this sick if I confess I batched to a Jordache Jeans commercial that was on during a Don Kirchner's rock Concert?

What's really sick is remembering being so desperate and horny; when it came on I knew I had 30 seconds, and for me, that is just not enough time. Usually.



Mike, I just laughed my balls off reading that, because...well...I can relate...

http://www.grandinotizie.it/image/g/000/00040.jpg
"The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis."