View Full Version : I'm losing a friend this week
wilee
04-05-2004, 08:11 AM
My friend Mike was admitted to the hospital the first weekend in March after feeling ill at his part-time bartending job. After being in for about a week, he was moved to ICU as the doctors had not yet diagnosed what was ailing him and he lapsed into a coma. He remained in the coma for about a week and slowly came out of it. By this time, the doctors had concluded he had a "bruised pancreas" and inserted a catheter to help drain some blood that had built up in it.
When he was moved from ICU, I was able to stop by and visit with him a few times. He was barely coherent, (don't know if it was his condition or the drugs), but he was at least recognizing people again. I went to visit him on Wednesday, and found he was moved back to ICU. I was allowed to go up to ICU, and had to wait a 1/2 hour until they had visiting hours. I was turned away at the door to his room by two doctors who said that he wasn't awake and couldn't have visitors right then. His family met with the doctors on Thursday to discuss options.
Saturday, I found out that they were letting him go. Apparently the doctors feel that his organs had been damaged and were shutting down, and that there isn't much more that they can do for him. His family will not allow any further visits from anyone, either.
Since he has been in the hospital, I've been handling some affairs of his, and I was optomistic that he would be out of the hospital soon. I went through a few nights of not sleeping when he went into the coma. I'm upset that the doctors are at a loss to do anything more than to let him die "naturally". He will most likely be gone by today or tomorrow. I'm going to miss him.
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SuperClerk
04-05-2004, 08:14 AM
I'm very sorry to hear that Wilee. My prayers go out to you and your friends family. Stay strong.
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Hottub
04-05-2004, 08:51 AM
I am really sorry to hear that. Be strong, and think of the good times.
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ChickenHawk
04-05-2004, 09:03 AM
I'm very sorry to hear this Wilee. I hope his family, and his loved ones, including you, can stay strong.
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Katylina
04-05-2004, 09:11 AM
Oh my God, I am so sorry. I guess all you can do is think upon your happier memories of times you spent together with your friend. I always read this poem when I am dealing with the pain of loss. It makes me cry, but crying sometimes is what you just have to do.
Time Will Ease The Hurt
Author Bruce B. Wilmer
The sadness of the present days
Is locked and set in time,
And moving to the future
Is a slow and painful climb.
But all the feelings that are now
So vivid and so real
Can't hold their fresh intensity
As time begins to heal.
No wound so deep will ever go
Entirely away;
Yet every hurt becomes
A little less from day to day.
Nothing can erase the painful
Imprints on your mind;
But there are softer memories
That time will let you find.
Though your heart won't let the sadness
Simply slide away,
The echoes will diminish
Even though the memories stay.
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Jennitalia
04-05-2004, 09:25 AM
Carl, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. Do they know why his internal organs are failing? I'm going to shut up now, because I know there's nothing I can do or say to make things a little better, but your friend is in my thoughts and prayers
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Iamnotatool
04-05-2004, 09:58 AM
Ouch, that fucking sucks. Doc's suck. ER's suck.
My prayers to your friend
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Reephdweller
04-05-2004, 10:32 AM
I'm really sorry to hear that. A few years ago I lost a friend I had worked with. She had a problem similar to your friends and the last few months of her life were very difficult. Your friend is in my prayers.
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furie
04-05-2004, 12:35 PM
I'm very sorry to hear that.
How the hell can someone bruise a pancreas? It's scary that a young person can just fall seriously ill out of the blue.
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FUNKMAN
04-05-2004, 01:09 PM
wilee,
sorry to hear about this tragic event in your life...
stay strong and remember and enjoy all the good times you had together
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BoondockSaint
04-05-2004, 01:18 PM
damn. I'm sorry to hear this. I went through a similar situation a few years ago. There is nothing to say that will make you feel better. All I can say is, stay strong because people will need you to, and remember the best of times and celebrate his life. My prayers are with you and your friend.
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zathrus
04-05-2004, 03:45 PM
Wilee,
I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and his family.
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JPMNICK
04-05-2004, 03:55 PM
my deepest sympathy to you, your friend and his family. Death is never easy, especially a situation like this. Stay strong and think about all the good times.
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Hottub
04-05-2004, 03:58 PM
Damn, I've been thinking about this all afternoon. When you lose a friend it truly sucks. When you are scheduled to lose a friend...
I don't know how I would react.
All I can say, from the sidelines is, Stay Strong!!
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i am really sorry, it feels bad to let a friend die and u cant help it....but it was his time and atleast he wont be in any pain anymore.....
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sr71blackbird
04-05-2004, 06:47 PM
Thats really sad, I hope things turn around if they can. Pray and try to be strong for their family, Im sure they appreciate you helping with his affairs. I lost my mother in law similarly and I know how the ups and downs go when your thinking everythings ok, and then the next minute its worse than you imagined possibly happening, happen. You sound like a good friend!
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Melrapuo
04-05-2004, 06:51 PM
All my prayers for you and your friend. I'm sorry to hear that this is happening. Keep your hopes up and stay strong.
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JohnnyCash
04-05-2004, 06:52 PM
Im sorry to hear about your friend. All my best to you and his family.
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TheMojoPin
04-05-2004, 06:58 PM
That's an awful situation for anyone to go through. Just stay strong and and be there for your friend...even if you can't LITERALLY be there, it's still the same in the big picture.
You've got my prayers backing you up, budday.
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KERMIT
04-05-2004, 08:07 PM
Stay strong brother. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone.
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Cybersoldier
04-05-2004, 08:32 PM
I'm sorry to hear about that man, I hope you and his family stay strong, and think of the good times they you had with him
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Mike Teacher
04-05-2004, 11:17 PM
Wilee,
words are so utterly insufficient, and discussions of 'why' and 'how' usually shouted from the rooftops from guys like me, don't do a bit of good.
all our doctors and science have to step aside at times. logic and fairness disappear. why would a body do this? the quick answer is no one has any idea whatsoever.
i will venture to say this is a quality of experience, meaning it just happens and you deal. i read your description, and its a summation of the last week of my dads life, and i had to make the calls with the neurologist. i will venture to say it fucking sucks, and hurts like hell, but in the end, everything can be fine. it may never be right, and in this nuts opinion, some wounds of the spirit do not fade with time, not one iota, with all due respect to Kat's most lovely poem.
sadly, it is often only at these times that we are reminded of how lucky we are, to have that next minute, that next day, of this gift we have been given, to live and breathe and just be content in that.
prayers and good thoughts flying out to your friend. he has a good friend too in you, i say.
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Whyyouhaddiddat
04-05-2004, 11:35 PM
As long as you cherish all that you shared, they will always be there--especially when you least expect it.......when you could use them the most. My thoughts are with you and everyone this affects.
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Patches
04-06-2004, 06:44 AM
Wow... I am real sorry man. That's sounds like a terrible ordeal to have to endure. My sincere condolences.
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zoom2457
04-06-2004, 07:50 AM
I'm sorry about your friend. I cannot even begin to imagine the stress of this situation.
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wilee
04-08-2004, 11:04 AM
I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words. As of last night, Mike was still holding on in critical condition. I'm expecting to hear from his family when he finally does pass. What makes this tragic is the fact that he's lingering. He's on a morphine drip to block any pain, and he has been unconcious since going back to ICU. I think that since he was able to hold on since Saturday without support, he would have recovered.
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keithy_19
04-09-2004, 01:19 PM
My prayers are with you and his family. Stay strong sir and remember that you guys can hangout again in heaven.
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wilee
04-14-2004, 06:28 AM
Mike passed away early Monday afternoon, and I've been working with his family and some friends for the past two days on arrangements for a memorial service. His family is mostly from South Jersey (near the Atlantic City area) so the funeral is down there. I put in for the day off to go to the funeral. Many of his friends up here can't take the time off and go down to S. Jersey for the funeral (there will be no wake), so I've been arranging for a memorial next week.
I've been to two wakes in the past 2 weeks- 1 last Monday and one yesterday. The funeral Thursday will make 3 service I will have attended in these 2 weeks, and will also be the hardest. I met with some friends at a bar last night and hoisted a few in respect to Mike and the guy whose wake I went to last night. When I got home, I started talking to Mike. It's not something I would normally do, talk to someone who's passed. Then again he was in the hospital for over a month and I guess it started getting to me. I'll probably feel better when the funeral is over.
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Jennitalia
04-14-2004, 06:39 AM
Carl,
I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I'm really sorry about the loss of your friend and the pain you're going through right now. If there's anything I can do, please let me know
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Jennitalia
04-14-2004, 06:41 AM
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This message was edited by Jennitalia on 4-14-04 @ 11:26 AM
Freebird
04-14-2004, 07:24 AM
The hurt will probably last long after the funeral, but this is a big part of saying fare well. I can never think of anything better than at times during the funeral, or the wakes, or just any time it comes up, to remember and talk about the things he did that were among the most foolish, the funniest or the most idiosynchratic. Those things that made you laugh the most (with him and at him) often help ease the difficulties of these last few weeks.
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SuperClerk
04-14-2004, 08:13 AM
I'm very sorry about your loss. Your friend is in a much better place now.
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Justice4all
04-16-2004, 12:29 PM
Carl,
To lose a friend in the prime of their and your life is something no one should have to go through. He is very blessed to have you for a friend in his short but meangingful life. I wish I had words of wisdom or enlightenment that would ease your pain my friend, all I can say is he is in a much better place now then he could ever find here on earth.
You have all my sympathies and if you ever need to talk to someone who understands, you can call me anytime.
We will talk soon and drown away our sorrows...on me.
In the meantime I will pray that you are able to get thru this a little easier then it seems to be for you right now.
Be well my friend and stay strong
Tom
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i am sorry that he passed on but he is no longer in pain...and he is always with u in your heart...
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TheMojoPin
04-17-2004, 10:51 PM
Sorry to hear of his passing.
At least his suffering is over and he's at peace now.
Stay strong and look to the future.
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