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TeRRoR
03-15-2004, 07:00 PM
Disgruntled Asian Tattoo Artist Inks His Revenge


Symbols on the back of a Pitt Student inked by Sakai (inset) were originally meant to say, "princess." They really say, "prostitute."

Reprinted from Sept. 2002 -- Pitt junior Brandon Smith wanted a tattoo that proclaimed his manliness, so he decided to get the Chinese characters for "strength" and "honor" on his chest. After 20 minutes under the needle of local tattoo artist Andy Sakai, he emerged with the symbol for "small penis" embedded in his flesh.


"I had it for months before I knew what it really meant," Smith said.

"Then I went jogging through the Carnegie Mellon campus and a group of Asian kids started laughing and calling me `Shorty.' That's when I knew something was up."

Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people. So he used their blissful ignorance to make an everlasting statement. Any time acustomer came to Sakai's home studio wanting Japanese tattooed on them, he modified it into a profane word or phrase.

"All these preppy sorority girls and suburban rich boys think they're so cool `cause they have a tattoo with Japanese characters. But it doesn't mean shit to them!" Sakai said. "The dumbasses don't even realize that I've written `slut' or `pervert' on their skin!"

In the last month, seven people unknowingly received explicit tattoos from the disgruntled artist. Kerri Baker, a Carlow College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for "beautiful goddess" etched above her belly button, but when she went into Szechuan Express Asian Noodle Shop sporting a bare midriff, the giggling employees explained to her that the tattoo really said, "Insert General Tso's Chicken Here!"

"I don't even like General Tso's!" Baker sobbed. "I'm a vegetarian!"

Sakai doesn't feel guilty about using hapless college students as canvases for his graffiti.

"I think I'm helping my fellow man by labeling all the stupid people in the world," he explained. "It's not a crime, it's a public service.

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/TeRRor.gif>

The Goon Squad is the underground. Declaring war on everything... Declaring war on nothing.We are your children raised on ritalin and prozac, biting the hand that's reared us... pissing down our heros throats.

All we are is all you have made us...Given nothing. Taking everything. Making this world a place of our own.

Doctor Manhattan
03-15-2004, 07:26 PM
wow, those people did even do anything to piss the tatoo artist off, aside from just being white.

I've never met an asian tatto artist. I would do research about what Asian character I'd get before going to a parlor anyway.

I might get LED Digits that read "24" on the back of my neck.

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FUNKMAN
03-15-2004, 07:37 PM
man! it must be tough... first these people got needled and then they got,,,,,needled...

ouch!

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JohnnyCash
03-15-2004, 08:03 PM
That is so funny.

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TastelessGinny
03-15-2004, 08:33 PM
What's funnier--

him doing it, or being the poor bastard reading this article and realizing this guy was your tattoo artist.

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monsterone
03-15-2004, 08:36 PM
i hope someone jerksoff in his soup. karma's a bitch.

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TheMojoPin
03-15-2004, 09:19 PM
Funny...but come on. Oh, people are paying you for ugly tattoos of YOUR FUCKING ALPHABET. POOR YOU. I'd take rip-off tattoo money if all I had to do was spell out a few words.

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

monsterone
03-15-2004, 09:24 PM
College freshman, paid $50 to have the symbols for "beautiful goddess" etched above her belly button,



that is going to look great after her first kid.

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FUNKMAN
03-15-2004, 09:42 PM
guess this tops me scotch taping a 'kick me' sign on the back of someone's shirt...

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Arienette
03-16-2004, 04:03 AM
is anything going to happen to this guy? they should certainly revoke his license and probably lock him up for a while or something. that's so fucked up.

as angry as this story made me, this was too funny:
"I don't even like General Tso's!" Baker sobbed. "I'm a vegetarian!"

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TooCute
03-16-2004, 05:41 AM
Okay, we all know that article was originally published <a href="http://www.angelfire.com/pa3/toplesscarwashdoc/copyright.html">here</a>, right?

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TooCute
03-16-2004, 05:46 AM
Sorry, and here's the link to the original article
<a href="http://www.soufoaklin.com/tattooartist.html">click here</a>

And for the record that "tattoo" doesn't say prostitute. It says "yellow chip" or "yellow tip". I don't know if that means prostitute, but that's what it says.

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Tall_James
03-16-2004, 05:49 AM
Thank you Too Cute for pointing out what I thought was patently obvious.


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TooCute
03-16-2004, 06:01 AM
You're welcome.

and yes, this was just an excuse for post #4000.

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JustJon
03-16-2004, 06:05 AM
I guess the reference to the "picture (inset)" wasn't enough of a clue.

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mdr55
03-16-2004, 06:13 AM
I guess he was tired of hearing all those Fantasy Island jokes.

Tattoo Artist: "So what design do you want?"

Person getting Tattoo: "Boss, da plane....da plane."

(Place YOUR AD here) Call now!!

Mattymack88
03-16-2004, 07:40 AM
lmfa00 that really sucks. id kick the shit outta him, but it still really really sucks to have a bunch of asians call you shorty (no offense)

TheMojoPin
03-16-2004, 07:50 AM
Okay, we all know that article was originally published <a href="http://www.angelfire.com/pa3/toplesscarwashdoc/copyright.html">here</a>, right?

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/toocute3.gif">


How could we? TeRRor didn't post a link. And the rest of us aren't usually trolling for South Oakland-focused parody pages.

AND your link doesn't open a new window. How diabolical.

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

Johnathan H Christ
03-16-2004, 07:57 AM
i have a friend that was going for "hemp"....its was mandarin chinese.

well...my business partner was a chinese linguist who used to translate for the NSA. he saw the tat and told him it loosely translated to fibers or linnen.

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Doctor Manhattan
03-16-2004, 08:04 AM
Souf Oaklin fo' Life!!! is a satirical newspaper published by Wooo Media.


It's my cousin's web site! :p


I still don't understand why anyone would just walk in and ask for a word to be put on the back when they couldn't read it to begin with. If I wanted an asian character I'd look up the phrase I wanted and check other asian languages as there might be one that looked better to me.

Sakai, an award-winning tattoo artist, was tired of seeing sacred Japanese words, symbols of his heritage, inked on random white people

Are there any sacred words in english? That would be cool.

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This message was edited by SKW on 3-16-04 @ 12:09 PM

Arienette
03-16-2004, 08:11 AM
How could we? TeRRor didn't post a link. And the rest of us aren't usually trolling for South Oakland-focused parody pages.
thank you, mojo. i was sitting here feeling very confused about why i was supposed to know this.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aricheat.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>the moon, it leaves silver but never sleep
and then the silver turns to gray
oh, stay with me, arienette, until the wolves are away
</center>

TooCute
03-16-2004, 08:30 AM
How could we? TeRRor didn't post a link. And the rest of us aren't usually trolling for South Oakland-focused parody pages.

Google, baby, google.

And snopes.

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TheMojoPin
03-16-2004, 09:10 AM
It sounds like a variation of the old urban legend of the old woman sewing Chinese characters from a menu onto a sweater she's knitting because they "look nice," and it ends up meaning "this dish is cheap, but very tasty."

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

Freakshow
03-16-2004, 09:26 AM
This is precisely the idea of the first chapter of <a href="http://harrietklausner.wwwi.com/review.cgi?tattoo_blues">This book</a>.

I bought his previous book at the airport and the first chapter of his forthcoming book was at the end. Has almost the same story to start his book.

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Homer: What should I do with all this dirty, ill-gotten money?
Lisa: Well there are lots of needy children out there.
Homer: I see what you are saying. I need to buy a gun!

Hosp
03-16-2004, 09:35 AM
I wish it were true. Tattoos annoy me anyway, but people with Asian characters or Tribal art when they're more pale then fucking white out is hysterical to me.

So, how do you write small penis in Japanese?

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SatCam
03-16-2004, 10:19 AM
Either way, has anyone ever thought of those Japanese girls who have shirts that have phrases like "I am princess" or "I love doggy"

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Doctor Manhattan
03-16-2004, 11:13 AM
So, how do you write small penis in Japanese?


It's just "penis" there.

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TheMojoPin
03-16-2004, 11:20 AM
I'd rather see someone with one of these as opposed to that goddamn barbed-wire-sround-the-arm one...AGAIN.

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

grlNIN
03-16-2004, 11:26 AM
So, how do you write small penis in Japanese?




"Hosp"

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TeRRoR
03-16-2004, 09:06 PM
actually... a buddy of mine who tattoo's in philly (will go nameless because this is a little secret he does)... but in most of his tattoo's, he somehow puts a vagina into it.

when i get my digicam up and running again, i'll take some pictures of some of his stuff and post it... you'll see.

tattoo artists like leaving their mark.

and my right arm is now nearly completely covered. next comes either my neck or left arm... i dont know yet..

AND YES STUPID, i know... im stuck with a bluecollar job for the rest of my life. thats the place where god had put me, so why stop... and on my knuckles, im gunna get "DEAD LAST".

what is actually going to have to suck is my back is going to take about 1500-2000 hours, by tom renshaw (www.tomrenshaw.com). his shop is in michigan. he is the best blackandwhite portrait artist in the world. so if you are going to do something that detailed and what not, might aswell go to the best artist there is... ya heard me?

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/TeRRor.gif>

The Goon Squad is the underground. Declaring war on everything... Declaring war on nothing.We are your children raised on ritalin and prozac, biting the hand that's reared us... pissing down our heros throats.

All we are is all you have made us...Given nothing. Taking everything. Making this world a place of our own.

IrishAlkey
03-17-2004, 12:26 AM
Be my bodyguard.

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Freakshow
03-17-2004, 05:26 AM
and on my knuckles, im gunna get "DEAD LAST".

I have the strongest desire to get 'Born to Lose.' I just don't know where i'd put it.



<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/molly.jpg>
Homer: What should I do with all this dirty, ill-gotten money?
Lisa: Well there are lots of needy children out there.
Homer: I see what you are saying. I need to buy a gun!

jeffdwright2001
03-17-2004, 05:40 AM
Are there any sacred words in english? That would be cool.

Off the top of my head the word "sacred" comes to mind.

JustJon
03-17-2004, 05:51 AM
I'd rather see someone with one of these as opposed to that goddamn barbed-wire-sround-the-arm one...AGAIN.
It's not like they earned them in ECW.

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Doctor Manhattan
03-17-2004, 06:27 AM
Off the top of my head the word "sacred" comes to mind.


So, by that logic, unless someone asked for a tatoo of the japanese character for "sacred" Sakai had no reason to be upset!

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Freakshow
03-17-2004, 06:33 AM
I can think of 7 sarcred words in the English language.

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/molly.jpg>
Homer: What should I do with all this dirty, ill-gotten money?
Lisa: Well there are lots of needy children out there.
Homer: I see what you are saying. I need to buy a gun!