The Future News Story Post

[The_Fat_Mole]

It's very simple. Make a news story from the future.


The New York Post

april 2, 2015

Pop Princess Britney Spears found dead in her Los Angeles House

Britney Spears, 33, was found dead early this morning in her Los Angeles Bachelor pad. Britney Spears was best know as the first performer to entertain our troops in WW3 as well as for her chart topping hits such as "Hit me baby one more time" and her 2008 grammy winning remake of "Benny and the Jets".

Detectives on the sceen would not submit a comment but they suspect her death is a result of an over dose of sleeping pills mixed with alchohol.

Spears is survived by her 3 children and her ex-husband, famous funny man Carrot Top.

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[Freakshow]

"Tragedy today, as former president Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves."

<img src=http://www.christpuncherrecords.com/sigs/Hutz2.jpg>
<br> You're saying drink me? But i'm in the middle of a trial.

[Tall_James]

January 15, 2009

LOCAL RADIO DUO IN CHUCK E CHEESE FRACAS

(AP) Washington:

Local radio legends Ron & Fez, number one in their market for the past 5 years and syndicated to over 30 cities nationally were involved in a bizarre incident at a local Chuck E Cheese. It seems that an Internet messageboard devoted to their radio show (ronfez.net) had a gettogether at the local pizza place which developed into bloodshed.

Apparently according to witness Frank Black, recently elected Senator from New Jersey, "LAL! Washington guys always hate New York guys! Haters! Big noises...LAL! Someone call someone "Post Whore" and hell breaks loose!"

Apparently Ron & Fez who were at the restaurant, but ironically not at this event, were called in to mediate but were hit accidently by flying pizza and "whack-a-mole" mallets. They were not injured.

Police are still looking for suspects and are following several strong leads.


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[SatCam]

President Wadd Impeached After Claims of Homosexual Tendencies

Press Secratary Yerdaddy confirmed reports out of the senate today that an impeachment call was passed 100-0, offically impeaching President Wadd. After former President Bush passed the "No Homosexual in the US of A" act, homosexuality has been banned in every state. President Wadd was reportedly cought in a lip-lock with Secretary of State Fez Watley. President Wadd has 4 hours to clean out his office and leave the White House to retire to his home in San Francisco. Vice-President MojoPin's swearing in ceremony is scheduled for 4:00pm today.

AP - 1/21/20 - 3 Hours WMT (Western Mars Time)

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[keithy_19]

NEWS FLASH!

Johneewadds homosexual mate, SatCam, was seen coming out of the parking lot of a Mandees recently. He was carrying two bags. The police stopped him because he was making rude comments about people as he walked by. In the bags they found 10 pounds of cocaine and a mexican immigrant by the name of Pablo Henandez. When asked what he was doing with Pablo, he chuckled and said. "I was going to sniff the cocaine off of Pablo's ass and fuck him tenderly." The cops laughed and then beat him to death.

Formerly...
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[SatCam]

Was there a White Castle accross the street?






Just for future reference...

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[keithy_19]

No. There was a Dennys though.

Formerly...
http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/keithbobeefy1.gif

[TheMojoPin]

Vice-President MojoPin's swearing in ceremony is scheduled for 4:00pm today.

I'd like to remember our dearly departed president as he was when he and I were first sworn in...young, idealisitc...glistening...

http://www.ambushmag.com/is599/images/be11.jpg

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=TheMojoPin">
2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[keithy_19]

President MoJo's first major decision in office was a bill he proposed to congress. The bill entitiled, "A little More Porn In Schools" stated that all schools would have mandatory porn viewings after lunchtime. These viewings could be in the cafeteria or the auditorium. There would also be several classrooms set up for people if they feel the need. By themselves, or with another person. Amazingly, the bill passed the house and the senate. More news as story develops.

(2 weeks later)

NEWS:
MoJo's newly passed law has been working great. The population of Earth which had been declined since the Manatees became carnivores, has increased rapidly. When MoJo was asked what he was feelings he replied, "I feel as if I could shit myself, I am that happy." So far, everyone who has hitten puberty has had sex and although AIDS as well as other STD's have been on the increase, the people don't mind. Electric Sex, a student commented, "I don't care if my penis is falling off, at least I know that soon the girls will lose there vag's."

Formerly...
http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/keithbobeefy1.gif

[Spoil-Sport]

October 15, 2004

A ticker tape parade is held in the Canyon of Heroes as Ron & Fez triumphantly return to New York radio.

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