The "Fortunes" in Fortune Cookies

[EQ]

I just opened up a stale, fortune cookie ( actually that's redundant ), and my 'fortune' is:

[ You wil not suceeed in an romantic endeavour ]


LOL!!! ????

Get me the Big Knife!

This message was edited by Elle Quinn on 11-13-03 @ 5:49 PM

[Furtherman]

I hardly ever get fortunes in fortune cookies anymore. They're all "You are a generous person" & "Trust in yourself" crap. Or they teach you Chinese. Like I want to know how to say February in Chinese?! I call crap on them!





<IMG SRC="http://www.photobucket.com/albums/1003/Furtherman/2e877146.jpg">

[Fallon]

Just saw this in Stuff today:
Custom Made Fortune Cookies (http://www.specialfortunecookie.com)

<center>
<img border=1 src="http://home.comcast.net/~wwfallon/RFnet10.jpg"><br><b>Tina Fey is hot!</b></center> <font color=white>

[Death Metal Moe]

I got "Eat more Chinese Food!" from cookies on several occasions.

Fucking assholes. AT LEAST TRY to SOUND like you're trying to predict something!

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<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

[fluffernutter]

Some of the ones that I got have completely gone the way of visit website here or something really non-fortune like that you can't even out "in bed" at the end of it.

I had to

http://www.joygreetings.com/images/chinese.jpg

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Yes, Lamb of God is that good. As the Palces Burn is the metal record of the last 10 years!

To know about the Giggleloop, is to become part of the Giggleloop



This message was edited by fluffernutter on 11-14-03 @ 12:07 AM

[A.J.]

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Red Sox Nation

[Reephdweller]

The fortune I got yesterday said "Put the data you have uncovered to beneficial use." what the hell does that mean? I've uncovered data???

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<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time I'm done</marquee> </font>

[Hosp]

Like I want to know how to say February in Chinese


I'm guessing "Feblualy".

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[shamus mcfitzy]

I don't know. The last few fortunes i've gotten kinda apply to my
life. But I did recently get a fortune that said, and I quote:
"Wish you a good health!" Meaningless and offensively bad
English.

This message was edited by shamus mcfitzy on 11-14-03 @ 11:58 AM

[blancostupido]

"Help! I'm a prisoner in a Chinese Fortune Cookie Factory!

This message was edited by blancostupido on 11-14-03 @ 12:54 PM

[Pappy McSchmear]

Like I want to know how to say February in Chinese

2OZ




))))Our Schmears Are Your Schmears At Pappy McSchmears((((

[NATRONE_MEANS]

ONCE I GOT A FORTUNE COOKIE SAYING "YOU ARE AN OVER-AGGRESSIVE NEGRO WITH A COKE ADDICTION!!!". AND I CRUSHED DAT COOKIE AND SPIT ON DA CRUMBS, CAUSE NATRONE DON'T LIKE RACISM!!! CONFUCIOUS SAYS THAT NATRONE MEANS I JUST CRUSHED YA ASS, COOKIE!!! TAKE DEMS!!!

[Doogie]

Can we please do something about this obnoxious cocksucker who is more blatantly racist than David Dukes?? What is next a black face picture?? Sheesh

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ADF Fan since day one...this sig rocks

[shamus mcfitzy]

in his defense: have you ever heard Natron Means talk? i seem to remember him being a living stereotype. I don't mind if the guy wants to be so stupid.

This message was edited by shamus mcfitzy on 11-14-03 @ 1:45 PM

[Bama]

I don't think NATRONE is racist at all. He's also not a joke at all. Natrone means business.

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[NATRONE_MEANS]

DAT'S RIGHT I MEAN BUSINESS!!! NATRONE DON'T PLAY GAMES!!! NATRONE KEEPS COMIN AT YA TILL YA WET YOURSELF!!! AND EVEN THEN, NATRON KEEPS COMIN AT YA!!! I BEAT YA SO HARD, YA GRAMPS FEELS IT, THEN I DO ACTUALLY BEAT YA GRAMPS!!! THAT'S WHY YA GOTTA GET OUT DA WAY. DON'T WANNA PUT YA GRAMPS THROUGH THE PAIN OF TWO BEATINGS, NOW DO YA!!! NATRONE DON'T REALLY WANNA HURT YA GRAMPS, BUT YOU GONNA MAKE ME DO IT!!!

[Bama]

Everyone best show some respect for NATRONE. NATRONE DON'T TAKE NO PRISNAS!!! (That was in a fortune cookie I got)

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[Furtherman]

http://www.cartoonresource.com/HEALTH-MEDICINE/HHE104-TS-W.gif

<IMG SRC="http://www.photobucket.com/albums/1003/Furtherman/e7d576eb.jpg">

[Bama]

YOU CAN'T IGNORE GENIUS GRAMPS! NATRONE IS THE CONDUCTER OF THE FUNNY TRAIN. CHOO CHOOOOOO.

That was also in a fortune cookie I got recently.

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[high fly]

NATRONE LIKES TO PRETEND...

" and they ask me why I drink"

[NATRONE_MEANS]

NATRONE LIKES TO PRETEND THAT HE AINT PEAKIN' IN YA
WINDOW!!! I SEES YA!!! NO ONE'S GRAMPS IS SAFE WITH
NATRONE AROUND!!!

I JUST GOT A FORTUNE COOKIE THAT SAID: "YOU WILL BE
HEAVILY INVOLVED WITH THE ELDERLY TODAY". THAT'S PROOF
ENOUGH TO ME!!!

This message was edited by NATRONE_MEANS on 11-14-03 @ 3:17 PM

[high fly]

HE'S CUTE WHEN HE PLAYS DRESSUP WITH THE OTHER KIDS....

" and they ask me why I drink"

[Bama]

High fly. Please don't make NATRONE angry. Think about the children!!!!!

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[shamus mcfitzy]

and the elderly!!!

[high fly]

Uh, sorry, gang.

I was just remembering how he looked with his little feet in his mamma's high heels with all that lipstick on the bottom of his face and his dad's fedora topping off the whole ensemble...

" and they ask me why I drink"

[Bama]

OH MY GOD. EDIT THAT OUT!!!!


HAVE MERCY ON US NATRONE!!!!!

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[NATRONE_MEANS]

THE BAMA FAN AND THE MICK ARE RIGHT!!! DON'T MAKE ME RANSACK RONFEZ.NET LIKE IT'S SHAMUS' MOMS HOUSE!!! I RAN INTO HIS ROOM, DRAGGED HIM OUTTA HIS BED AND BEAT HIM TO WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE!!! NATRONE DON'T PLAY WITH YA!!! I DON'T GOT NO PROBLEM CRACKING YA MOMS IN THE TEEF AND DRIVIN MY HEAD THROUGH YA TV!!! THERE'S NOTHIN STOPPIN ME!!! NATRONE MEANS I'M AN OUT OF CONTROL CONVICT!!!

[shamus mcfitzy]

oh god high fly, Natrone has no problem taking a crap on a guy's moms!!! He's done it before and he'll do it again!!! He's got no morals and no conscience!!! Natron Means he's gonna kill yall!!!

This message was edited by shamus mcfitzy on 11-14-03 @ 3:36 PM

[monsterone]

awwwww, look at this. it looks like someone pretended to have a tummy ache today and mommy let them stay home from school. such a cute little guy.


<center><IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01"></center>

<center>you bunch of jackalopes</center>

[Bama]

What are you talking about? Natrone played in the NFL for the San Diego Chargers! He was the baddest running back around! He even took them to a Super Bowl! NATRONE MEANS BUSINESS I TELL YA!

REPENT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[NATRONE_MEANS]

NATRONE WAS THE REAL "MONSTER ONE"!!! I WAS BUSTIN THROUGH LINEBACKAS WHEN YOU WERE SITTING ON THE COUCH DRINKING YOURSELF INTO A COMA!!! NATRONE DON'T DRINK, HIS DRUG IS CRACKIN' SKULLS!!! THE MICK'S RIGHT, I DON'T GOT NO CONSCIENCE, I'LL KICK YA MOMS' SKULL IN AND THEN TAKE A CRAP ON HER JUST AS FAST!!! CHOO CHOO!!! UH OH, THE NATRONE EXPRESS JUST PULLED OUTTA THE "LINEBACKAS CRAW" STATION AND IS COMIN' TO YO TOWN!!! AND THERE AINT NO BRAKES ON DIS TRAIN!!! NO STOPPIN ME...UNLESS YOU GOT MY COKE!!! NATRONE ONLY STOPS FO' COKE!!!

[monsterone]

NATRONE DON'T DRINK



then wht are you sippin so much d-?


<center><IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01"></center>

<center>you bunch of jackalopes</center>

[shamus mcfitzy]

{GASP}

This message was edited by shamus mcfitzy on 11-14-03 @ 4:01 PM

[NATRONE_MEANS]

THE ONLY "D" NATRONE'S SIPPIN IS YO "DAD'S BLOOD"!!! I'LL RIP EM OPEN WIT MY TEEF, I DON'T EVEN NEED MY HANDS!!! THEN YOU'LL WISH THAT YOU WATCHED SOME GAME TAPE AND SAW HOW DEVASTATING NATRONE MEANS CAN GET!!!

[high fly]

Well I guess I've done it this time....

" and they ask me why I drink"

[Bama]

Yes you have done it. Too bad. Like he said, there's no brakes on the NATRONE EXPRESS. Don't say you weren't warned.

What's that I hear? CHOOO CHOOOOOOO CHOOOOO CHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[shamus mcfitzy]

oh god save us!!!!

This message was edited by shamus mcfitzy on 11-14-03 @ 4:54 PM

[NATRONE_MEANS]

JUST YOU ASK THE '95 STEELERS DEFENSE, NATRONES NOT GONNA JUST FALL DOWN!!! THEY TRIED PUNCHIN' ME AND KICKIN' ME, BUT I PUNCHED AND KICKED RIGHT BACK!!! AND IF IT WASN'T FOR THOSE RACISTS IN THE NFL COMMISSIONER'S OFFICE, NATRONE WOULD HAVE A SUPER BOWL RING ON WHEN HE KNOCKS A RACIST'S TEEF OUT OF HIS FACE!!! STEVE YOUNG ISN'T ONLY A MORMON, HE'S ALSO A RACIST!!! AND DEION SANDER'S HATES BLACK PEOPLE TOO!!! NEON DEION'S AFRAID TO COME OUT OF RETIREMENT BECAUSE HE KNOWS I'LL COME BACK FOR EM!!! HE DON'T WANT NONE OF NATRONE'S 250 POUNDS COMIN RIGHT FOR EM!!!!

[high fly]

Me and my big fat mouth....



He was just so cute with his Suzie Bake Oven....

" and they ask me why I drink"

This message was edited by high fly on 11-14-03 @ 5:13 PM

[Death Metal Moe]

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"Natron Means.........I FUCKED HIM! OOOOOH!"

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<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!

[JerseyRich]

My fortunes have been so wise lately...

The last three:

Turn on the charm. You'll be glad you did.

He who sows courtesy reaps friendship.

A clean conscience is a good pillow.

[Devo37]

I'm guessing "Feblualy".


:lol: a Hossshhhp post from 5 years ago just cracked me up.

i hope he still checks this thread waiting for replies...