Why didn't they just fingerprint ID Superman?

[Death Metal Moe]

OK, just to begin I want to say that I understand that Superman is a comic book character and not real. So how can we have a real discussion about a comic book character? Well, we've done it bofore. And I also understand that this flying retard's idea of a disguise was a pair of wire rimmed glasses, but lets just get past that for a minute.

Superman was always bending shit, picking shit up and throwing shit. WHY WHY WHY didn't ONE PERSON pick up a lead pipe or gun he twisted and fingerprint it.

And I mean Clark Kent MUST HAVE BEEN fingerprinted at SOME POINT in his career. Maybe for his press pass? As part of a background check for his new job at the paper?

So with this one plot hole, I hope to bring the entire Superman franchise to it's KNEES!!!!

Of couse I don't mean that. No one cares, I know. But why have then never addressed this simple plot hole?

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[HBox]

Maybe Kryptonians don't have fingerprints?

But, seriously, that whole friggin universe has to be blind if just wearing glasses is a passable disguise.

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[Death Metal Moe]

You know, in one of those movies, Lex gets that strand of Superman's hair for his DNA to clone him.

Superman made a lot of public apperances it seemed, and it was pretty common knowledge that he probably had a secret identity.

So why did NO ONE try to find it out? There had to be some hot shot reporter who wanted the goods.

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[HBox]

I must reiterate; Superman, on a daily basis, walked through and worked AT A GODDAMNED NEWSPAPER using only GLASSES as a disguise! GLASSES!!!!! We are clearly looking at a universe full of people with either serious vision problems or mental problems.

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[monsterone]

sure the glasses could be a give away, but the city must be full of drooling retards if they can't put together the fact that they guy who looks just like superman w/ glasses is never around when superman is.



ironic you start a superman thread moe. i was wondering the other day on how superman could fly. what propelled him and how did he command gravity?

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<center>you bunch of jackalopes</center>

[Death Metal Moe]

I'll breifly describe my train of thought.

Sitting after practice talking about "Guitar Heores" with my friend and guitarist/vocalist for Unhallowed, Bob, I thought about the title Guitar Hero literally. I imagined a guy in a superhero suit with the big gloves on trying to play the guitar. So I thought, he'd probably have to take off the gloves to play, but then someone could fingerprint the guitar and he would reveal his identity. Then I thought "Oh but wait, Superman doesn't wear gloves! He's always just digging in with his bare hands." And then the bending of pipes an guns came to mind, and the rest is in the post.

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[FUNKMAN]

Moe,

you sound like someone who would dig this song by Utopia... it's about 'wee fairies' with 'wee electric guitars'... great little fairy tale with some great music behind it.... CLASSIC and UNIQUE! Each member plays a solo in the song that will take you right into the locations depicted in the story... It's off their "RA" album....

Singring And The Glass Guitar

(An Electrified Fairy Tale)
This is an electrified fairy tale. If you've never heard of an electrified
fairy tale, just picture little fairies with wee tiny electric guitars.

Once upon a time [not long ago] in a land not far from here, there was a place
called Harmony. Everyone in Harmony was happy and this "joie devivre" was
guarded by their invisible patron, the muse Singring. But jealous forces, and
there are always jealous forces in such tales, have conspired to capture the
spirit, imprisoning it in [an instrument of glass, locking it in] a chest with
four keys, and casting the keys to the four corners of the earth so that only
four particularly brave and talented individuals might retrieve them. It is
here that our story begins.

There's a rumor I heard that's going 'round town
Someone's captured Singring, Singring
Come hear the news, come hurry on down
Down to the old town square
The announcer wipes at his eyes, he's trying to hide
See it in his face, tell by his expression
The secret knowledge that claws to escape as he cried
Day of infamy, someone's captured Singring
Day of tragedy, someone's captured Singring
Now what shall we do, what shall we do now?
And if you take a look around, Harmony is dying
Someone trapped the spirit in a glass guitar
And if you listen with your heart, you can hear it crying
Free me from my crystal prison in this glass guitar

There's a rumor I heard that's going around
Someone's saving Singring, Singring
Come hear the summons, hurry on down
Down to the village green
And the spokesman speaks for us all, together we call
Brave adventurers, warriors, and free men
Conquer self and so in the end save us all
Conquer earth and wind, conquer fire and water
Brave adventurers, come and save us all
And if you fail to win the keys, Harmony is dying
Trapped away forever in a glass guitar
And if you listen with your heart, you can hear it crying
Free me from my crystal prison in this glass guitar

Having gathered on the green, the brave adventurers of the land march off in
search of the keys. Their quest leads them first to the river's edge.

Lead me to the water
Pass me my flagon of wine
I said show me to the water
Quick before I change my mind
I go down to the river and bravely the rapids I row
Over the falls to the bottomless pool
and it's down to the bottom I go

Only one has the courage to dive into the river and brave the bottomless pool
in search of the first key.

Let the four winds blow icy breath before me
Storms will never keep me from the glass guitar
Hurricanes may scream, I will never feel it
'Til I find the key that leads me to the glass guitar

Only one has the courage to wander the desert [alone] and brave the eternal
winds in search of the second key

Fire can never burn me
Flames can not catch me - faster am I
Blazes never faze me
Barefoot I walk hot coals for a mile
My sword is tempered, my loins are girded in steel
Make my way to the heart of the forest of flames
And if I do my best and don't stop to rest
I may pass the test and capture the key that opens the chest

Only one has the courage to make his way into the forest of flames and br
the fire-breathing dragon in search of the third key.

I will climb the face of the highest mountain
Whilst Singring calls crying from the glass guitar
Though the earth may shake let the planet tremble
Steady will I struggle onward to the glass guitar

Only one has the courage to climb to the top of the highest mountain in search
of the fourth key.

Having scaled the mountain and finding no key, the climber begins cho

[JustJon]

Would your guitar hero be a Jukebox Hero... with just one guitar... that just blew him away?

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[pennington]

The thing is, even if they figured out who Clark Kent was, it wouldn't make a difference. There is nothing they could do to him, and Superman would still fight evil and use his powers to help people.

[wilee]

Are you sure that someone would have figured he had a secret identity, and didn't just run around all the time righting wrongs?

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[Tall_James]

I hope to bring the entire Superman franchise to it's KNEES!!!!


it's MOE LUTHOR !!!!

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"At last Superman...I have found out that Death Metal is your other weakness!"



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This message was edited by Tall_James on 11-13-03 @ 10:35 AM

[mikeyboy]

I'll breifly describe my train of thought.

Sitting after practice talking about "Guitar Heores" with my friend and guitarist/vocalist for Unhallowed, Bob, I thought about the title Guitar Hero literally. I imagined a guy in a superhero suit with the big gloves on trying to play the guitar. So I thought, he'd probably have to take off the gloves to play, but then someone could fingerprint the guitar and he would reveal his identity. Then I thought "Oh but wait, Superman doesn't wear gloves! He's always just digging in with his bare hands." And then the bending of pipes an guns came to mind, and the rest is in the post.


Next, on VH1's "Behind the Post"...

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[Mike Teacher]

Ok, so these people are up on this tall building, out on the observation deck. it's way up like 100 stories and people are out there looking around.

There's one metal looking dude, all tatted up hanging out drinking a beer out of a bag, and he says with a slur 'did you know about the winds here? They get so strong that you can lean way over the edge and they hold you up!'

The people all go 'thats insane, no way.'

So the guy goes, ' Really! OK. Watch...'

And he steps on the ledge and leans way over the edge, like at a 45 degree angle, and they see the wind is keeping him up! he looks back and says, "see!?"

They think its amazing. He goes, 'watch, you can even jump off a bit and the wind blows you right back up!' He's tipsy getting up, but he indeed jumps off and falls down about 50 feet as people scream in horror, but the winds kick in and blow him right back up and he steps back onto the ledge.

'See! Try it!'

So two people step up, and look down, and he goes 'look, we'll all jump togther'. And they all jump, and they watch as the two people plunge to their deaths, but the one guy still gets blown back up onto the ledge!

Just then the door to the Observation Deck opens:

"Hey Superman! I know the drinking is getting bad but put your disguise away and stop fucking with these people!"

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[JustJon]

I've heard that joke with "That Superman sure is a mean drunk" as the punchline.

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[Bama]

I always thought the punch line was "That Superman really hates black people."

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YANKEES SUCK

[CaptClown]

I always thought the punch line was "That Superman really hates black people."

White people are so scared of black people

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