Weirdist relatives

[CrazyClare]

Ok so we all have weird relatives right?
I have a great Auntie Bebe whom I never met who saved all her toe and finger nails in a box. She would cut them and save them and supposedly hade quite a collection when she died about 60 years of nails (she started saving when she was 10 and died in her mid 70s), she also insisted that the box of nails be buried with her.
So umm... thats fucking weird

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[JohnnyCash]

I have some wierd ass relatives, but nothing close to that.

Thanks to Reefdwella for the great Sig Pic.
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[SatCam]

I have an uncle who is really fucked up. He thinks that he has a sugar allergy and if he has any, his brain will swell.

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[Bama]

Everybody's got that kid toucher uncle.

"Where them kids at?" - Chris Rock (I'm to tired to do a GIS)

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg
YANKEES SUCK

[CrazyClare]

damnit I hate it when you think everyones as fucked up as you and they're not :(

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[Melrapuo]

My grandmother doesn't want ice in her drinks because she says it "goes right through her" but then she has a huge bowl of ice cream afterwards. She's crazy.

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Somebody please help me with touching up my sigs so they don't look like shit.

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YANKEES FAN SINCE BIRTH!

[ozzie]

It could be worse... she could have never cut them at all.

http://www.sonypictures.com/tv/shows/ripleys/database/assets/photo_toenail.gif

Or... instead of burying them with her, she could have willed them to YOU!


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Thanks for the sigpic CZM... while it lasted. Come back soon Oz
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[monsterone]

wow, that's twice in this tread that i've been grossed out. clare, you take the cake.

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<center>you bunch of jackalopes</center>

[DarkHippie]

My relatives control the media.

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[monsterone]

My relatives control the media.



well then, tell them to get this reality television shit of the air.

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<center>you bunch of jackalopes</center>

[TheGameHHH]

i'm fucked up right now, and i have fucked up relatives


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[TheMojoPin]

My relatives have too many kids, drink too much beer, eat too many potatos and blow up too many cars.

They're batshit nutsoid bonkers.

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2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Arienette]

i have a cousin who made out with me once.. that was weird.

and another cousin who tried to convince me that it was okay for me to make out with him because we were only second cousins. that, too, was weird.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aridark.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br><br>you said it looked like snow or maybe clouds<br>and i think it looks like heaven</center>

[mdr55]

i have a cousin who made out with me once.. that was weird.

and another cousin who tried to convince me that it was okay for me to make out with him because we were only second cousins. that, too, was weird.


You must be popular at family gatherings.

(Place YOUR AD here) Call now!

[CrazyClare]

I have a couple cousins who I think are hot.

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sorry I post so much Im just sick of being a dotcommando

[shamus mcfitzy]

i'd have no problem with making out with a cousin. Just doesn't seem all that wrong to me. Second cousins are definitely fair game. Too bad I've missed out on having hot cousins because they're all at least 12 years younger than me. Damn......no flipper babies.

[Hosp]

I'm probably considered the weird relative just because I do what I want and don't give a fuck what they think.

Of course, there's a an aunt, uncle, and cousin we just don't speak to and I've heard some stories.

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[Bill From Yorktown]

dont worry CC, that sort of stuff is purely genetic

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[grlNIN]

My relatives have too many kids, drink too much beer, eat too many potatos and blow up too many cars.



I guess Mojo is Irish as well.

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Then you'd start to understand,
The things I value in my heart.</font></center>

[IrishAlkey]

i have a cousin who made out with me once.. that was weird.

and another cousin who tried to convince me that it was okay for me to make out with him because we were only second cousins. that, too, was weird.



Did they at least settle for hand jobs?

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[JustJon]

Who are you kidding? I am the weird relative.

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[DJEvelEd]

I had an uncle who used to tuck me in. His stubbley beard on my theighs wasn't as bad as his long dirty fingernails.










I promised to never tell but I feel I can open up here.

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May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konsistantly Kovered in Kunt.

[CaptClown]

I had an uncle who used to tuck me in. His stubbley beard on my theighs wasn't as bad as his long dirty fingernails.
Did he fiddle about, fiddle about?

Director of the C.Y.A. Society.
Field Marshal of the K.I.S.S. Army

[jocefus]

i have some weird relatives in pa. they take pictures at a wake and the funeral.. after they develope the pictures and talk about how handsome/pretty he/she looked in the casket...they are some fuked up people

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Big ups to amy, aggie, satcam,adf and fulff for the sigs..

hey my man, what it look like

[CrazyClare]

yea i think second and third cousins are fair game. (the cousins that i think are hot are 3rd)

hmm.. im trying to think of other weird relatives cause you guys all seem to be pretty normal. OHhhhhh I remeber my cousins there was 6 of them had a hairy butt contest to see who had the hairiest but, and it was one of my female cousins!!

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sorry I post so much Im just sick of being a dotcommando

[furie]

I have a great Auntie Bebe



http://sp24-7.lambtron.com/grabs/610/boobs12.jpg


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[sr71blackbird]

I had one uncle who was expelled from school for trying to flush a soccer ball down a toilet, and a cousin who tossed a lit matt of firecrackers into a mailbox and it went on fire and burned up all the mail inside. I have a cousin who moved to arizona just to get away from his family and wouldnt even come to his own fathers funeral. My brother in law once put a propane tank into a inner tube and floated it out in a lake and shot it with a high powered riffle causing a massive explosion. I did some stupid shit too (like almost causing a train derailment).

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[Mike Teacher]

I have no idea who's page this is, but if you can suffer through the pop-ups; some of the most insanely weird looking people EVER...

FAMILY HOMEPAGE (http://welcome.to/mytrailerparkpage)

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[shellcreatives]

Nobody in my family besides me, but I'm pretty much an outcast so I guess I'd be the wierd one.
A neighbor of ours when I was growing up would climb up on his tool shed with a shotgun and urinate into his flowers. They kicked him out of the community for his "issues." I think he ended up in San Diego.

A guy walks into a bar. I forgot the punchline, but your mother's a whore...

[fiestygal]

ME...i would have to say im prob the most interesting..

I mean i do have a cousin who killed 3 mexicans in a car accident adn used to have a bad coke prob

I'M RICH BIA-OTCH!

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THANX TENB

This message was edited by fiestygal on 11-11-03 @ 9:12 PM

[hyperspace]

i am a 34 year old uncle who rarely dates has no job and still lives in his parents house. call me George!!!

[FUNKMAN]

i am a 34 year old uncle who rarely dates has no job and still lives in his parents house. call me George!!!


we had Uncle Junior... hi real name was Mike and he lived with his Mom well into his 40's. he worked two jobs and had to hand over his paychecks to his Mom and wasn't allowed in the cupboard or refrigerator without her permission. He used to wear pants that looked like they were made from 'old/thick carpeting" and he had a honker like you wouldn't believe.

I remember when i was aroung 10 and out of respect we would kiss him on the cheek(face cheek) and i rememeber getting grossed out when his nose banged into my face.

He would call the house and when you answered the phone you would say 'hello'. he would always respond with "how about them yankees?"

he died recently but it turned out for the past 10-15 years he had the 'jungle fever' and the woman was using up his credit cards. He lived alone in the St John's apt's in Jersey City. So my grandfather and his sister took his credit cards away and gave him a small allowance from his Social Security and pension checks. He retired from the Post Office and was a Vet of WWII. Boy did he resent it, he would curse them out every chance he got.



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[angrymissy]

i have at least two on each side.

moms side

Uncle Timmy
Timmy lives in a group home now. He has multiple personality disorder. When he still lived with my grandparents, I used to get to witness this on a daily basis. He was prone to going into our kitchen and then pretending to "bowl" with no bowling ball. He would literally just stop, wind up his arm as if he was releasing a bowling ball, stare intently at the wall and then go "yes!". Sometimes he'd do this 3 or 4 times in a row. He would tell people at church he was a world class bowler and a millionaire. Another time he thought he was a stockbroker. I think my grandparents eventually shipped him off to a home because he would wander the streets of our neighborhood and talk to everyone about whatever he thought he was that day. On the plus side, every time I see him now he says "happy birthday" and gives me $20. He did that once 3 times in a day. When he went to my grandfather's wake, he was telling everyone that the army gave him an apartment complex worth 2 million dollars in Alabama because they were the ones who made him crazy.

uncle dennis
Uncle Dennis has "fuck" tattooed inside of his lip. When I was a kid, he drove his car through the front of the local citibank. I really don't understand how he's not in jail right now. My grandparents shipped him off to the army after they found a garbage bag full of pot under his bed. Now every time I see him he tells me if I ever have to make a cross country drive, to get a lot of cocaine so I can stay up and do it in 2 days. I have no idea why he says this to me. The woman he married tells me she's psychic and speaks to spirits, and sometimes will sit straight up in her chair and say dead relatives are speaking to her.

dads side
Grandpa
I love my grandpa tremendously, but he's totally lost it since I was younger. He had half of his jaw shot off in ww2 so when he starts yelling you can never understand what he's saying. He drove trucks for a living and they let him continue until he was 70. One time I saw him driving a giant dump truck in front of his house and he backed it into an electrical pole and took out electricity for the whole block. He also single-handedly shut down the Tappan zee bridge by dumping a truckload of gravel onto it. He constantly fought with the neighbors across the street and would run out with a tape recorder to tape it. He dug huge holes in his backyard for no reason and we had a big storm and the rain washed all the dirt into a major road behind his house, stopping traffic for a whole day. The worst was when a gay couple moved in across the street. He's totally old school and would harass them every day. One of them died, and as the ambulance was taking them out of the house, he came out and started yelling at the other guy "you're next". When I was living there, he woke me up in the middle of the night once and told me there was a naked mexican man in the house. There was no man there. He said he must be hiding in the basement and we had to look for at least an hour. For 5 years he wouldn't eat my grandmothers food because he thought she was trying to poison him.

Uncle Jeffrey
Uncle Jeffrey takes the fucking cake. I'm not even on speaking terms with him. He has a 20+ year heroin problem and it's totally destroyed his mind. He's lived with my grandparents for as long as I remember and refuses to work because he's "sick". He has hardcore ocd and would go around the house every single day moving things into their "proper" place and spending at least 10 minutes on each item making sure it was "perfectly positioned". When I was 15 and living there, I knocked something over and didn't put it back correctly and he lost it. He screamed at me in a corner for 20 minutes and chased me down the street. He washes his hands for 20 minutes 10 times a day. I once saw him scrubbing them with comet. He called me into the living room once and said "look at it, look how disgusting it is... there's bugs climbing everywhere, you have to help me kill them". The r

[zoom2457]

OK, so my child abusing, embezzler uncle doesn't look quite as bad now.

"Excuse me, excuse me I believe you have my stapler"

[CrazyClare]

Missy your Grandfather rocks.

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sorry I post so much Im just sick of being a dotcommando