You must set the ad_network_ads.txt file to be writable (check file name as well).
stop me if you've heard this [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

PDA

View Full Version : stop me if you've heard this


Johnathan H Christ
10-18-2003, 08:27 PM
i only hope this is true.....enjoy



Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life.
>One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine,
>woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had
>diarrhoea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realised that it was
>urinary pain.
>
>It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the
>wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina
>erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever
>heard. In
>paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push
>and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she
>gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled.
>She was screaming wildly, and the neighbours called the police. When
>medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of
>her
>bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was
>a
>stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a
>stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other
>leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he
>lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at
>which
>point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of
>her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound.
>Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile
>bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat
>there
>on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth.
>
>The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea
>setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he
>saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without
>convulsing.
> >> >
>The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping
>and splashing at a furious pace.
>
>If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms.
>DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and
>severe
>head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw
>what
>she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the
>toilet and then on the floor.
>
>It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident
>she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub,
>she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive
>pleasure.
>
>At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it
>to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian
>XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of
>the
>tub.
>
>The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper
>bag.
>Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with
>pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints.
>The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters.
>The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud
>shrimp
>egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they
>are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly
>boiled
>to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's c**t
>when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to
>gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her
>period,
>doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was
>the
>perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger
>version
>of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the
>eggs
>had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten
>minutes.
>
>You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning
>and
>gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.


<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/logo width=300 height=100>

Death Metal Moe
10-18-2003, 08:29 PM
>I don't have time
>to read all of this LONG
>ASS post! I have things
>to do!

<IMG SRC=http://unhallowed.com/sigs/dmkh.gif>
<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
WITH A BODY OF STONE, AND A MIND LIKE... GENIUSNESS!
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=2><b>EMFA</b></font></marquee>

SatCam
10-18-2003, 08:35 PM
i only hope this is true.....enjoy

I hope it isnt

and I'm really wondering why the fuck a girl is pleasuring herself with a LIVE LOBSTER.

<IMG SRC="http://img.ranchoweb.com/images/aggie2323/satcamsig.jpg" align=right><A HREF=http://www.satelitecam.tk>Ron and Fez Dr0ps and Bits</A>
<a href=http://www.oldronandfezpages.tk>WNEW Ron and Fez Pages</a>

Thanks for the Sigpic, Aggie, you're the best!
[color=White]

furie
10-18-2003, 09:03 PM
two things,

one, could you please clean up the quoting before posting

and seems too much like an urban ledgend to be true. snopes has a page on it.


<img src="http://home.comcast.net/~jamesgpatton/furie.jpg" height=100 width=300>

JustJon
10-18-2003, 09:45 PM
that's fucking twisted. no way it could be true.

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon9.gif"><BR><A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

Heather 8
10-18-2003, 09:55 PM
that's fucking twisted. no way it could be true.


Sure it is! It happened to my cousin's boyfriend's uncle's co-worker's sister's daughter, and I heard about it third-hand.

[center]http://members.aol.com/deeprooteddark/images/vicstacrf.jpg
October 25, 2003...
DOOMSDAY
[center]

Yerdaddy
10-18-2003, 10:17 PM
Ironically, Herve Villachez died with mysterious burns on his face. Lucky little bastard!

<img src="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=bonedaddy5">
TEAR THE BITCH APART!

mikeyboy
10-18-2003, 10:26 PM
This again? At this point, it surprises me that anyone believes anything they receive via e-mail.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/fezwhatleyfan/mikeyboy.gif">
Thanks to Pantera for the new sig............................................... .......................Hey!
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
Subscriber to Dignan's 40 year plan
2%

Johnathan H Christ
10-19-2003, 08:01 AM
<IMG SRC=http://a1259.g.akamai.net/f/1259/5586/1d/images.art.com/images/PRODUCTS/large/10048000/10048528.jpg>

<IMG SRC=http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/logo width=300 height=100>

TooCute
10-19-2003, 09:59 AM
this is why everyone shold read snopes.com

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/toocute2.gif">

CaptClown
10-19-2003, 10:01 AM
Stop! I heard it before.

Director of the C.Y.A. Society.
Field Marshal of the K.I.S.S. Army

JimBeam
10-19-2003, 12:16 PM
That email is so old that I think it came with Outlook 1.0.

I'd assume that scientifically it couldnt happen.
I'm sure that the human body would reject anything that foreign inside it.


I have balls !!!

erole
10-19-2003, 03:58 PM
Sure it is! It happened to my cousin's boyfriend's uncle's co-worker's sister's daughter, and I heard about it third-hand.


I'd believe more in a person with a third hand

<IMG SRC="http://members.hometown.aol.com/frigginbooger/myhomepage/rensig.jpg">
~he knows a little