How tough skinned are you?

[Reephdweller]

I notice in the course of my day where I work that some people can take criticism and abuse from others, and yet others cannot or they break down into the complete hysterical balling out their eyes fits.

There's a girl in my office who goes bonkers if someone in management even slightly criticizes her if she does something wrong on the job. Personally I think some people do this and over-do it to avoid being criticized in the future.

Some people can take it if they're yelled at by their bosses, parents, friends, roomates, spouces or significant others. Yet others cannot.

What I mean is, if you did something that you know you did wrong and got chewed out for it, or criticized for it do you get very upset, or take it in stride? I'm not talking about if you got yelled out for doing something wrong that you didn't do, but rather something you know you did or do wrong.

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<center>HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!! </center>

<font size="1" color="red">
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time Im done</marquee> </font>

[Reephdweller]

I was talking about this today with some friends today. Most people, myself included, can take criticism fairly well. But others just go insane.

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<center>HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!! </center>

<font size="1" color="red">
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time Im done</marquee> </font>

[Gaia]

I must admit...Looking back at certain situations...I am a pussy. It's hard for me to take any type of criticism, When It happens I get upset and flustered, and I feel all stupid and useless when it happens...I sometimes feel that I may have an issue when It comes to things such as this...because I'm too senstive....I dont freak out on purpose...I freak out because I feel like an asshole. I always have the feeling of being reprimanded. Just like I am a kid again.... like a small child..I guess I am a reject...in my book..criticism hurts.......ouch!!!!!

So now that everyone know's Im a fucking wierdo....carry on.

<img src="http://gaia.50megs.com/gaia12.jpg">

[Arienette]

i don't have a very thick skin. when i used to get criticism at work, i could conceal it while i was still there. but things would really get to me, and still bother me once i'd left for the day. i take everything negative that is said to me very personally and very to heart. it's a crappy way to be.

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

[more cowbells]

I start looking for my shotgun and trenchcoat...

<img src="http://members.aol.com/rfbobbypantera/morecowbell"><br>Bring back RON & FEZ to N.Y.C.!

[Reephdweller]

i take everything negative that is said to me very personally and very to heart. it's a crappy way to be.


It does bother me as well, though what I try to do is not show it. I don't know why, but I just take it and fume about it later.

<center><IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/randomizer/random.php?uid=3"></center>
<center>HORDE KING FOREVER!!!
ORACLE NEVER!!! </center>

<font size="1" color="red">
<marquee behavior=alternate bgcolor="#FFFFFF">Right now you could care less about me...
but soon enough you will care, by the time Im done</marquee> </font>

[carcass]

what are ya gonna do....take it like a man....get drunk later . light another cigarette learn to forget


I dont knowingly do stuff wrong.....I may leave something for the next day...my problem is dealing with people....


I cant fix what I dont know ...unless the boss steers ya in the right direction

face down in the gutter
wont admit defeat
thou his clothes are soiled and black
he's a big strong man , w/ a childs mind
dont you take his booze away

[Mike Teacher]

The importance of this can not be Overstressed.

This is something I have been actively working on since the Summer of 1986.

Long story short, you can change yourself.

I had the shortest fuse ever. Microseconds to Anger. From Zero to 'Fuck You' in under 5 seconds. And I'd be sulky, and carry grudges, etc. et al.

A start: Begin Observing Yourself.

The responses Gaia, et al admit to are human nature; there is a very good reason the Stimulus is pissing you off.

I'm not even talking about interaction with humans yet. I mean the day to day 'Self' that you carry.

Start noticing things. And this takes practice, because we usually do not like to turn the observations in on ourselves. What we see is often shocking.

Something Is missing. OK, now there are options here. One of them is getting angry. THIS IS NOT AUTOMATIC. We have made it Automatic.

There is a second option. Interrogate the Anger. Why this flash of rage? confusion? There is a 'Stop' Exercise that I have used in my training; where no matter How Dire things are, you simple Stop, and do Nothing for a moment.

The Practice of Doing Nothing: If we can call on our bodies, our minds, to do Something for 30 minutes; can we ask our bodies and minds to do Nothing for 30 Minutes. Before you begin thinking Meditation, that's not at all where I am going.

I mean literally sitting quietly, with a focus of relaxation and clearling the mind, and doing nothing. In my experience with several hundred others, this is an extermely difficult practice to begin, but it has changed lives. Including mine.

Also on Observations: Make them precise. I would LOVE to hear people's examples of losing it, but NOT with descriptives. Just list what happened. Again, surprising things emerge.

Necesary Talking: Another thing I have practiced. Without much lick, often. It is extrememly difficult to not say something.

Focus Specifically on the anger of that exact situation of that moment. These threads are PERFECT, absolute TEXTBOOK examples of people taking anger at a specific thing happeneing to them in the Here and Now, and again 'automatically'; long-held animosities and issues surface. We let them. Again, what seems like instinct is often habit.

Habit: The power of habit can not be stressed enough. Meaning: How do you structure you life? Folks, this is it. What is the Aim? How do you structure your life? Huh? I mean, examine the things you do. Again, self-observation.

Noticing something is Exactly the halfway point of accomplishing the Honouring of Necesity.

Honour Necesity.

There is a mess in a corner of the house. This is easily ignored. Another take, 'hmmm, I notice that mess'. Well, you're now halfway to Honouring the Necesity of that situation.

What does the moment call for. Not the next day, the next hour. The next moment.


Practical Practice: Try to Notice, and Remember to Notice the fact that you have woken up the next time you fall asleep. I do this every morning. Sometimes I forget, and an hour later I'm like, 'ah yes! I'm awake now.' And at that Moment take a minute to Focus on the Day, the tasks, the demands, the situations you may be in. Notice the feelings. Interrogate them.

Letting Go: So very very difficult in practice.

These are a few for starters: but ask yourself:

How may I best serve this life that i have been blessed with? What is necesary, that I might honour it?


Just Below the surface of what we call our 'Ordinary Lives' lie Untold Riches.

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[more cowbells]

...and you wonder why he calls himself Mike "Teacher"?

<img src="http://members.aol.com/rfbobbypantera/morecowbell"><br>Bring back RON & FEZ to N.Y.C.!

[Death Metal Moe]

I don't need thick skin because I just remember that nobody's as good as me.

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<strike>Your Mother</strike>
<marquee behavior=alternate><font size=2><b>EMFA</b></font></marquee>

[erole]

Mike the Teacher preacher.
well done sir!

at work I reflect what is given to me. if i hear crap from someone, i give it back. if i'm being talked down to, i get wonderfully sarcastic. i guess i'm thick skinned, but i like to throw some punches at times. usually in a way that's not directly insulting but more getting under your skin until you don't know what hit you.

i am practicing patience and self control. it's interesting that Mike brought it up.

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~he knows a little