What should I do?

[keithy_19]

Ok, first of all this is a silly problem in the scheme of things, but it still has been bothering me.

I've really liked this girl for 3 years. When I say really, I mean to the point that I love her. The only problem is she thinks we're too good of friends. I really don't see the rhyme or reason to that and its really been bothering me. I asked her out and she gave me the two good of friends answer. But when I asked if we might ever have a chance at being together she didn't say no. And its really upsetting cuz I've been friends with her for so long and we've been through so much and I know if we tried we could work, but I don't know how to get her to see that. And I've tried to move on but I can't seem to. What should I do?

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[color=Blue]
I've never been so lost I've never been felt so close at home please write my folks and throw away my keys [color]

[reeshy]

As harsh as this is going to seem...forget about her!!! She's not going to come around to your way of thinking. She'll only break your heart and drive you crazy..Iknow...I've been there!! Good Luck!

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[Death Metal Moe]

Love sucks.

I Love to Hate the Love in my heart.

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<strike>CTG</strike>

[mikeyboy]

Reeshy's a wise man.

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Subscriber to Dignan's 40 year plan
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[keithy_19]

But I've tried that but everytime I see her and talk to her I fall back into the same situation. And shes one of my best friends. Its not like its someone who I can just stop talking to.

http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/keithbobeefy1.gif

[color=Blue]
I've never been so lost I've never been felt so close at home please write my folks and throw away my keys [color]

[JimBeam]

You don't have to stop talking to her. Much to the contrary you should hang out with her just as much.
Don't piss away a friendship with her just because you can't get in her pants.
Who knows, maybe someday she'll come around. Start bringing other girls around when you're with her and that'll straighten her out.
Then again maybe she's a dyke.
Just kidding dude. The above advice, although it appears to be in jest, is pretty straight forward,
Good luck with it.

I have balls !!!

[KC2OSO]

The Friend Zone sucks and it's very hard to get out of ~ but ~ she is attracted to you in some way so that's a good thing. Maybe think about that.

Btw, what is this relationship doing for you? Not to be harsh, but is she really just a friend and if so, like reeshy said, drop it! Who knows!

It sounds like you're really focused on her which is fine but maybe if you focus on other chicks she'll come a 'runnin.

Or you could do like Jay Mohr says, pull out your junk and say, 'What are we going to do about this?'

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[Reephdweller]

I'm with Reeshy on this, move on from her. You'll end up worse with a broken heart.

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<font size="1" color="red">
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[keithy_19]

The relationship is working for me...but its hard. When we're together it feels if we're a couple, but then I gotta snap back into reality and tell myself we're only friends.

http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/keithbobeefy1.gif

[color=Blue]
I've never been so lost I've never been felt so close at home please write my folks and throw away my keys [color]

[Death Metal Moe]

The only one hurting is you. Deal with it yourself. And DEAL with it. I don't know how, but it will only eat you from the inside out if you just try and forget about it.

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<strike>CTC</strike>

[high fly]

She didn't say "no" just to be nice.
REESHY and MOE are right.
Take it from a grizzled vet., once you've been friends that long, it just don't work to try to get it to evolve into a relationship.
Move on, and stop moping around and having that starved wounded puppy look when you're around her.
Give the friendship a month or so break and move out, get in circulation and meet new talent.
There's plenty out there (slaps KEITH in the ass), now go get-em boy!




" and they ask me why I drink"

[sr71blackbird]

The worst thing you can do to yourself is what they ca;; "unrequitted love" that is, when you give love to someone who doesnt return that love. It destroys you, it makes you think you are unloveable. My advice? Move on, forget her. Shes only intersested in the relationship as long as it goes her way. Shes not worthy of your love, your time or effort. Dont destroy yourself. Have respect for yourself, and youll be rewarded with love, because who would love you if youd just "give" that love away? For it to be real, it has to be reciprocal. If its anything other, its dammaging to you. Please move on to give the chance to those millions out there with none!

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Many Thanks Soup!

[Kewlkat]

Reeshy's a wise man.


He's not the only one, so is DMM

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P.S. Asswhack!!
thnx to DMM

[reeshy]

Hey Moe,
How 'bout you and me starting a column for the love-lorn?????

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[Katylina]

Tie her up in the trunk, pregnant with your kid.

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[keithy_19]

First of all I don't mope around when I'm with her. Secondly, your all right. But I'm not gunna throw away a great friendship just because I want it to be more. Its not her fault. But thanks for all the feedback.

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[color=Blue]
I'll give you a knuckle sandwhich! No, I won't. [color]

[mdr55]

Watch "Friends" Thursday night. I believe Ross, Joey and Chandler were in your situation at one time (in fact I think they still are). Just ask yourself "which friend am I" and which friend is she (Monica, Phoebe or Rachael).

Good luck.

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[Death Metal Moe]

But I'm not gunna throw away a great friendship just because I want it to be more. Its not her fault.


That's why I didn't tell you to get away from her, I just said "Deal with it." But since I have no idea what kind of man you are, I didn't suggest anything because your deal is going to be your own.

She's probably a great person, that's why you feel you love her and there's no reason for you to throw a good person out of your life. Lord knows there's enough scumbags out there.

You have to find a constructive way to deal with your feelings for her. I'd suggest you try to date some other women.

I don't know your dating history, but I think there may be the off chance that you became infatuated with this girl just because you're not dating anyone else and you're around her a lot. It's an easy thing for guys to do. We sometimes think that ANY attention a woman pays us means they want us. So hanging and joking with someone would make you think they should REALLy like you. That's how attention whores and teases exist.

So take a self-examining step back and try to do other stuff with other women. That's my best advice.

Yea, it sounds weak looking back on it too.

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<strike>CTC</strike>

[mdr55]

Have you taken here to a Karoke bar or sung to her?

"Oh baby, YOU- got what I need, but you say I'm just a friend, you say I'm just a friend"

Or given her flowers?

Lovey dovey stuff like that when you and her hang out. Sneak some of that TLC in there and see how she reacts to you. BUT once you cross the LINE, you can never go back to how it was before so be careful of what you wish for. (LOOK what happened to Ross and Rachael when they were on a break- Now she's liking Joey).



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This message was edited by mdr55 on 10-2-03 @ 11:56 PM

[Death Metal Moe]

Reeshy's a wise man.

He's not the only one, so is DMM



Thanks LadyRay. I AM the man! SELF HIGH 5!

Wait.........NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

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[JohnnyCash]

this situation sucks.i was in the same spot for about a year. we hung out everyday and did almost everythig together. i was scared to tell her how i felt so i never did. after about a year or so things just started to develop.weve been together now 6 1/2 years. The last thing i would want is for you to get hurt or lose a good friend but if you feel so strongly about her dont just give up. Dont push her though and dont dwell on it. i say keep it goinng as good friends and maybe somethig could happen. but maye not - 3 years is a really long time.
Play the field and maybe you will find another girl.
just remember its not worth losing her a friend.


ALWAYS REMEMBER THE MAN IN BLACK

[Tall_James]

Tie her up in the trunk, pregnant with your kid.


It'll be 3 years with my wife this month!

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[center]hey smiling strange - you're looking happily deranged[center]

[Reggie]

Here's a tip to stop that tape playing in your head, the tape that says I want her as a girl friend, I want her as a girl friend, I want her as a girlfriend"

Accept and respect HER decision to be friends. Accept means, in other words, believing it was a CHOICE YOU made. Love it, wrap yourself in that decision, play the tape: She's my friend and it was my idea.

Your stuck in a moment and everytime you say to yourself I want her as a girlfiend, its like giving your self a shot of heroine.

Try this once: when the impulse to call her or agree to see her, try something different...just try it dont argue or disagree, pick a movie instead of picking up the phone. Say yes to doing something else instead of her.

Say you are on a journey thats filled with gold and the first block you find a gold nugget and stop because "god damned i just found gold" and all you do is stare down at it instead of looking up to gold filled journey. You were blessed enough to find a kind person, be corageous and find more, you will.

You were smart enough and courageous enough to ask for help from ppl who listen to a radio show that isnt even on in there home town any more.

[Justice4all]

Ok...ask yourself one important thing before you move on her...
REALLY look at yourself and see if she is a good FRIEND or are you just someone who keeps her time occupied while she is between boyfriends?
If she is using you then I would say forget about her and find people who CARE about who you are.
If that is not the case and you two have been there for each other, then I say be Romantic as hell, persistant (but do not stalk her..laughs) and really take her out on ONE date and show her what is in your heart.
But if she says NO, you may have yto look elsewhere.
The first person you love is not always the right one.
But it does feel good

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Cheer up Red Sox fans.....Anyone can have a bad century!

[keithy_19]

Um, I just thought I'd let everyone kno that I'm finally getting over her. Like, we're still like best friends, but its not like I need to have her any other way. I'm getting on with my life. Besides, the way I figure it, eventually she'll realize what a mistake she made and come crying to me. Or she'll go through a horrible break up and I'll catch her on the rebound. Oh Yea! But thanks for all your input. :)

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Look at the stars...Look at how goddamn ugly the stars are...

[Reephdweller]

Besides, the way I figure it, eventually she'll realize what a mistake she made and come crying to me. Or she'll go through a horrible break up and I'll catch her on the rebound. Oh Yea! But thanks for all your input.


Keith, I think the first step to being truly over her is to not let these kinds of thoughts go through you. Her racing to your arms and crying to you are still more along the lines of dreams. I wish you the very best, but you must learn to step away from having any kind of feelings one way or the other, then you'll truly be over her. You're on your way, but you have to learn to not care one way or the other if she will come running to your or not.

There's people who I've had deep deep feelings for, and I learned early on to put it behind me and accept the realities for what they are. It has nothing to do with you, or anything. Some things just aren't meant to be. She may indeed one day run to you and realize that you're the one, but you must not sit back and hope this turns out to be the case and wait for it to happen. You'll only end up lonely and sad. I'm not saying it's easy, but you will slowly get over her and you'll be better for it.

You're on your way though, best of luck to you.

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[Melrapuo]

Keith, I've been in the same position as you. And you just have to allow yourself to try to like other women. I spent 2 years wondering what was wrong with me. The girl I always wanted to go out with finally said yes, but it only lasted a few days, cuz she broke up with me for someone else. That, of course, started the whole silence situation between me and her for about 2 years, and, even though we're talking now, there's still that distance between us.

I'm not saying that the same thing would happen to you. I'm just saying that you have to take in every possible thing that could happen and be ready for whenever the day comes, IF it comes for that manner. It's a downer, but later on you'll probably figure that it was for the best. You're still gonna have that want to have everything ideal and the way you want it to be, but that doesn't always happen. Reality can really suck sometimes, but you just gotta go with whatever life throws at ya.

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