Sometimes I say I'm married...

[Aggie]

... so guys will leave me alone. I know some of you will think this is really bitchy, but it's SO much easier than having to ward off unwanted advances. And sometimes the married thing doesn't even stop them.

I've been with my boyfriend now for about 6 years, but the boyfriend line doesn't work. Women hear it all:

'Oh, what's that got to do with me?'
'So? That shouldn't stop you.'
'Well, you can have friends, can't you?'

I just got to the point where I'd laugh, tell them I heard it all before and it's not going to work. Now I just say I'm married. I have a diamond ring of my grandmother's that I wear so that's the clincher.

I don't do it to be mean or because I like lying, but I truly don't want to talk to any other guys, but sometimes they just don't get it and think they can actually convince me to do otherwise. I bring this up because it happened to me yesterday on line in a convenience store. Ugh.

Just some advice, if a girl say's she's taken, just walk away.

[center]<IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Aggie">[center]

[HBox]

I know what you're saying. I literally have to pry chicks off of me with a crowbar.

http://members.aol.com/joepersico/myhomepage/sig1.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US

[TheGameHHH]

but............i thought that you were married?!?!?! at least that's what you told me


<IMG SRC="http://home.comcast.net/~wwfallon/RFnetTheGameHHH.jpg">

[Furtherman]

This message was edited by Furtherman on 9-29-04 @ 2:47 PM

[Doctor Manhattan]

Want guys to leave you alone? Just apply makeup to your face to make you look diseased. You won't have to say a word and you won't risk losing your Grandmother's ring.

Find out what they used on Tom Hanks in "Philadelphia".

<a href="http://whatisthematrix.warnerbros.com/rv_cmp/trailers_rev_frames.html"><img src="http://members.cox.net/nicksporsche/matrix2-smith_small.jpg"></a>

[A.J.]

But I'm still your bitch, right?

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/ajdcsig.jpg">
A Skidmark production.

Red Sox Nation

[JustJon]

So, y'know, ya wanna spend in an hour in a seedy motel? I won't tell your husband if you won't.

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon9.gif"><BR><A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

[Mike Teacher]

I have a similar problem.

Women just won't stop sucking my dick.

Seems everywhere I go, every way I turned, some lady is dropping to her knees and unzipping my pants.

As much as I protest, they just keep sucking my dick over and over. It really gets tiring.

Ok, I stole this from the Onion.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/sigpic">

[Mike Teacher]

Want guys to leave you alone? Just apply makeup to your face to make you look diseased.


You can, wherever you go, push around a shopping cart filled with half-eaten food, old clothes, and empties.

Or just wet yourself right before you meet a guy.

OK, I stole these from Steve Martin.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/miketeachr/sigpic">

[Aggie]

But I'm still your bitch, right?


Is the pope Catholic?


at least that's what you told me


Well, maybe if you had brought your own cheeba, I would have been single.


So, y'know, ya wanna spend in an hour in a seedy motel?

Only if you bring the lovely Jenn along with you.

[center]<IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Aggie">[center]

[high fly]

AG, it's not bitchy.
Rather than wear your grandmother's ring, can't you find a cheap piece of costume jewelry?

" and they ask me why I drink"

[StupidGirlllll]

Mike The "T" aren't you married? Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe I heard that be4..

http://members.aol.com/thetoddsterlsp/sigpics/stupidgirlllll6.gif

[TheGameHHH]

Well, maybe if you had brought your own cheeba, I would have been single.
oh no the fuck you didn't.................thats it woman, whenever I see you again I'm getting your ass so stoned youre not gonna be able to move.


<IMG SRC="http://home.comcast.net/~wwfallon/RFnetTheGameHHH.jpg">

[DJEvelEd]

If I was a girl and I didn't want the dick, I would start farting, picking my nose/ass, burping, scratching/clawing at my crotch, and screaming in his ear. If that didn't work, I'd throw faeces.

<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/dj-sig.gif">
May your Kum Krusted Kocks be Konstantly Kovered in Kunt.

[Bama]

It's a hell of a lot easier to pick up chicks when I wear my wedding ring.

http://www.ronfez.net/imagestorage/bamanation.jpg

This message was edited by bamanation on 10-2-03 @ 6:06 PM

[Furtherman]

This message was edited by Furtherman on 9-29-04 @ 2:47 PM

[Death Metal Moe]

When I don't want women to throw themselves at me, I mention that I have over 10000 posts on an internet messageboard.

That usually dries 'em up.

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<A HREF="http://www.unhallowed.com">www.unhallowed.com</A>
<strike>CTG</strike>

[hyperspace]

I'ts tough being beautifull huh??!! this is why i sit at the bar and don't talk to anyone i KNEW that's what those girls were thinking!!!

[reeshy]

Do what Moe and Wadd do... tell the chick they're gay!!!!!!

<IMG SRC=http://www.scifi.com/sfw/issue184/cassutt3.jpg>

[TheMojoPin]

"Hi...my name is reeshy...wanna ride the bus?"

<img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=TheMojoPin">
2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

This message was edited by TheMojoPin on 10-2-03 @ 7:24 PM

[guttersnipe]

Or just wet yourself right before you meet a guy.

Strangely, that's never worked for me. But I'll keep trying it.

I didn't try it at Movie Night, however.

Hi Mike the "T"! ;)

~snipe



<IMG SRC="http://www.charm.net/~imp/me/alexdelarge.jpg">

[Gaia]

Sometimes in each situation, after all the options are evaluated you just feel if you tell the dick licker youre married they will leave you alone...I feel ya'......

"For example: Kindest Regards, Your Name"

[monsterone]

i've known some ladies who would wear a wedding band looking ring on their ring finger to attract guys. apparently certain guys have a thing for breaking up marriages.

you have to figure, if they want to break up a family, they're one's to bring home to mother.

<center><IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=monsterone01"></center>

<marquee behavior=alternate scrolldelay=30> i have a perrynoid song about me, how 'bout you?</Marquee>

[Steels]

Sometimes I say I'm married

Even THAT won't stop an intoxicated Puerto Rican.

<Img src=http://members.aol.com/tromatizedtodd/sigpics/steels2.gif>

[Steels]

i've known some ladies who would wear a wedding band looking ring on their ring finger to attract guys. apparently certain guys have a thing for breaking up marriages.

It's not about breaking up a family. The wedding ring (in most cases) represents the fact the woman has been married for a long time and is in dire need of a great fuck.

I've come across some and they are usually STARVING for good sex.

<Img src=http://members.aol.com/tromatizedtodd/sigpics/steels2.gif>

[sexy bastard]

but............i thought that you were married?!?!?! at least that's what you told me

but game you also believed that these two were married
http://pic4.picturetrail.com/VOL60/920776/1980852/34909434.jpg


<img src=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/leonj25/myhomepage/sb.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US>

www.leohernandez.net

This message was edited by sexy bastard on 10-3-03 @ 4:03 AM

[JustJon]

I feel ya'......

Gaia feeling Aggie? Hot!

<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/rfjustjon9.gif"><BR><A href="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com">Chaotic Concepts</a>

[Tall_James]

I've been with my boyfriend now for about 6 years

Tell that procrastinating bum to get off his ass and buy you a ring already !!! Jeez.

<img src=http://users.rcn.com/jamespatton/evil.jpg>
[center]hey smiling strange - you're looking happily deranged[center]

[Snoogans]

-I got a man.
Whats ya man got to do with me?
-I got a man
Im not tryin to hear that see

thankfully, i dont remember any more of that shit

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/Snoogans.jpg
Silent Bob you one rude motherfucker, she like to go down on you, suck you. line up 2 other guys and make like a circus seal


eww you fuckin faggots, i hate guys, i LOOOOVE WOMEN!

[Arienette]

i've done this myself. i used to feel a little bad about it, but now i don't at all. when you've had enough guys not leave you alone when you try to get rid of them, you get a little dulled to it. i don't have the whole ring thing going, although i guess i could always switch my claddagh ring to my other hand...

<center><img src="http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/aribagel.gif" height=100 width=300</img><br>imagine what you want, and then hold on to that thought<br>'cause that's as close as it will ever come</center>

[SatCam]

I would use the Moe Excuse, but I've never been in need of shooing people. You know me. I'm too good for everyone. All the women know I'm too good for them.

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<a href=http://www.perrynoid.com>The Cosmic Circus</a>

Thanks for the Sigpic, SatCam, you're the best!
[color=White]

[Gwen]

I do the same thing, Aggie. I also wear out a fake engagement ring when I go out to bars with out the boyf. It saves you the trouble of having to deal with half of the retards in the first place and scares the other ones away nicely.

No reason to feel bad about it. :)

<img src=http://dynamitediva.50megs.com/afrosig.gif>
<a href=http://dynamitediva.blogspot.com>Cheers, Fuckface!</a>

[Aggie]

I'm glad I'm not alone in my little scam. It's so much fun being a woman. ;p

[center]<IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Aggie">[center]

[TheMojoPin]

I say you're married, too.

TO ME.

<img src="http://members.hostedscripts.com/randomimage.cgi?user=TheMojoPin">
2% << December boys got it BAD >> "You might tell some lies about the good times we've had/But I've kissed your mother twice...and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Aggie]

I say you're married, too.

TO ME.

I'd go along with it too, but only if that means I get free books and music from your store.....and because you have that sweet ass I've heard so much about.


Tell that procrastinating bum to get off his ass and buy you a ring already !!! Jeez.


I know, right!? But to his credit, he DID try to give me a ring once, but I don't accept Cracker Jack prizes as a proposal.

[center]<IMG SRC="http://scripts.cgispy.com/image.cgi?u=Aggie">[center]


This message was edited by Aggie on 10-7-03 @ 10:12 AM

[East Side Dave]

Isn't it fun lying to people?

When I know the chick isn't married when she says she is then I like to tell her that I've got a switchblade with her name engraved on it and I'll be "seeing" her later! Heck, I'm just a-jokin', I never engrave my switchblades! Yeeehhhhaaaaw! Grab dem cakes, baby! As the great Junkyard Dog says, Grab Dem Cakes! Yipeee!

<img src=http://www.richstillwell.com/ESD.gif>
Big Ass Mafia