Justice4all
09-26-2003, 01:34 AM
The following article was written by a Jim Armstrong, a collumnist for the Denver Post (Sports edition) and was written for AOL as well.
TextThe playoffs haven't even started and already the Yankees are in big trouble. Is this great or what?
ÿÿ
Oh, maybe you didn't hear their traveling secretary, David Szen, got arrested the other night at the Park Formerly Known as Comiskey as the players popped champagne corks in the clubhouse. Seems he pushed a security guard.
ÿÿ
Now speaking from personal experience, I can assure you that two-thirds of all ballpark security guards have at least one swastika tattoo and nearly one-quarter have high school degrees. Nonetheless, Szen decided to let the guy have it. Not once, a whole bunch of times.
ÿÿ
Bad move, bubba. But you get the point: Even the Yankees' traveling secretary thinks he's bigger and badder than everybody else and doesn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else. No wonder most of the civilized world -- as opposed to, say, the Bronx -- hates those guys.
ÿÿ
I hope, for Szen's sake, he refers to Boss Steinbrenner as Uncle Georgie. If not, he could be history. After eight months of pitching (fits) and moaning and threatening people's jobs, the old blowhard has to fire somebody.
ÿÿ
Which brings us to Joe Torre, a good guy and a pretty good manager. Steinbrenner has put him on notice so often, Torre says it isn't any fun anymore managing the Yankees. I for one believe him. The man hasn't smiled since 1963, when Bud Selig gave him a great deal on a Ford.
ÿÿ
Will Torre be smiling in late October? Don't count on it, Mayor Mike. Says here Steinbrenner will be firing everyone in the organization but the cute blonde at the receptionist's desk. The one with the nice personalities who had four fewer hits than Jason Giambi in August.
ÿÿ
Assuming David Wells doesn't OD on cheesecake, the Yankees have enough pitching. But then, how could they not? Their rotation costs more than the gross national product of Belize. How much does Steinbrenner overspend when it comes to pitching? He's paying 8 million bucks a year to a Cuban refugee (Jose Contreras) who used to work for $29 a month and free use of a new '62 Caddy.
ÿÿ
No, the Yankees' problem, the one that's going to get people toe tagged, is hitting. Or should I say missing? Giambi isn't hitting Wells' weight and Bernie Williams plays a better guitar than Louisville Slugger. Hideki Matsui is a classy kid, but is he going to make a difference in October? The list of American League left fielders who outhomered him is longer than the Manhattan phone book. Then there's Aaron Boone, who's been a certified, genuine disaster since coming over from the Reds.
ÿÿ
Not that I'm being objective about any of this, of course. I've detested the Yankees since I was knee high to Freddie Patek. Go ahead, call me envious, but it's not like they've beaten any teams I've cared about through the years. I just don't happen to like arrogant people, checkbook baseball or Middle East terrorists.
ÿÿ
I'd rather donate to the Enron executives' defense fund than pull for the Yankees. I'd let my daughter date Mike Tyson before I pulled for the Yankees. I'll eat liver and onions and wash them down with Pennzoil before I pull for the Yankees. I'll enlist in the Taliban before I pull for the Yankees. Those monuments out there? I hope the pigeons mistake them for porta-pottys.
ÿÿ
The thing is, even if I did pull for them, it wouldn't make any difference. It's not going to happen, Boss man. Excuse me, Uncle Georgie. Which reminds me. When you get rid of the other guy, can I have the traveling secretary gig? What's that? Yeah, you're right. Pro'bly not.Text
ok did'nt anyone inform this asshole that if you want to be a sports journalist you have to be IMPARITAL? Wearing you hatred of a team (jealousy is more like it) and putting it up for print is rediculous. Hell I hate the NY Rangers but I give my respect when they play well. Someone should fire this cry baby because whatever piece of shit team he roots for is'nt
TextThe playoffs haven't even started and already the Yankees are in big trouble. Is this great or what?
ÿÿ
Oh, maybe you didn't hear their traveling secretary, David Szen, got arrested the other night at the Park Formerly Known as Comiskey as the players popped champagne corks in the clubhouse. Seems he pushed a security guard.
ÿÿ
Now speaking from personal experience, I can assure you that two-thirds of all ballpark security guards have at least one swastika tattoo and nearly one-quarter have high school degrees. Nonetheless, Szen decided to let the guy have it. Not once, a whole bunch of times.
ÿÿ
Bad move, bubba. But you get the point: Even the Yankees' traveling secretary thinks he's bigger and badder than everybody else and doesn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else. No wonder most of the civilized world -- as opposed to, say, the Bronx -- hates those guys.
ÿÿ
I hope, for Szen's sake, he refers to Boss Steinbrenner as Uncle Georgie. If not, he could be history. After eight months of pitching (fits) and moaning and threatening people's jobs, the old blowhard has to fire somebody.
ÿÿ
Which brings us to Joe Torre, a good guy and a pretty good manager. Steinbrenner has put him on notice so often, Torre says it isn't any fun anymore managing the Yankees. I for one believe him. The man hasn't smiled since 1963, when Bud Selig gave him a great deal on a Ford.
ÿÿ
Will Torre be smiling in late October? Don't count on it, Mayor Mike. Says here Steinbrenner will be firing everyone in the organization but the cute blonde at the receptionist's desk. The one with the nice personalities who had four fewer hits than Jason Giambi in August.
ÿÿ
Assuming David Wells doesn't OD on cheesecake, the Yankees have enough pitching. But then, how could they not? Their rotation costs more than the gross national product of Belize. How much does Steinbrenner overspend when it comes to pitching? He's paying 8 million bucks a year to a Cuban refugee (Jose Contreras) who used to work for $29 a month and free use of a new '62 Caddy.
ÿÿ
No, the Yankees' problem, the one that's going to get people toe tagged, is hitting. Or should I say missing? Giambi isn't hitting Wells' weight and Bernie Williams plays a better guitar than Louisville Slugger. Hideki Matsui is a classy kid, but is he going to make a difference in October? The list of American League left fielders who outhomered him is longer than the Manhattan phone book. Then there's Aaron Boone, who's been a certified, genuine disaster since coming over from the Reds.
ÿÿ
Not that I'm being objective about any of this, of course. I've detested the Yankees since I was knee high to Freddie Patek. Go ahead, call me envious, but it's not like they've beaten any teams I've cared about through the years. I just don't happen to like arrogant people, checkbook baseball or Middle East terrorists.
ÿÿ
I'd rather donate to the Enron executives' defense fund than pull for the Yankees. I'd let my daughter date Mike Tyson before I pulled for the Yankees. I'll eat liver and onions and wash them down with Pennzoil before I pull for the Yankees. I'll enlist in the Taliban before I pull for the Yankees. Those monuments out there? I hope the pigeons mistake them for porta-pottys.
ÿÿ
The thing is, even if I did pull for them, it wouldn't make any difference. It's not going to happen, Boss man. Excuse me, Uncle Georgie. Which reminds me. When you get rid of the other guy, can I have the traveling secretary gig? What's that? Yeah, you're right. Pro'bly not.Text
ok did'nt anyone inform this asshole that if you want to be a sports journalist you have to be IMPARITAL? Wearing you hatred of a team (jealousy is more like it) and putting it up for print is rediculous. Hell I hate the NY Rangers but I give my respect when they play well. Someone should fire this cry baby because whatever piece of shit team he roots for is'nt