Ramblings of an homeless alcoholic on dope. [Archive]

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DJEvelEd

09-03-2003, 02:00 PM

Bayonne has a homeless lady who lives under a public telephone. She uses markers to decorate her home with her insane ramblings:

Find the tobacco ball

Tampon tipped cigars

Moxley reunion.....................Schwarz

Federal Bullshitters Institution

exHuman Immunodefiency Virus

Womenstrual now now

Liars

Nice shape dickballs

She was born with just one ear

Dick have blood

Bleeding dickballs baby

Hole of dick

Jon Benets hole too

Homophobic infection virus

Feel the cold

Man was made for woman

Woman was made for man

I want breast implants in ass

She has a summer home on 53rd that I'll peep out too.

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reeshy

09-03-2003, 02:08 PM

Hey Ed,
It sounds like you're a little too "interested" in this homeless harlot!!!!

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Furtherman

09-03-2003, 02:10 PM

I'm outta here! Gotta find that Tobacco Ball!

mdr55

09-03-2003, 02:27 PM

She should be in the hospital seeking treatment because she is most likely suffering from delusions and such. The unfortunate thing is though, unless she is in harm to herself or others, she can not be hospitalized the way the system is set up to screen someone for admission.
But if something bad should happen, as is always the case, it's usually the hospital that gets the blame.
The system sucks.

The Ron and Fez show transcends all boundaries!

STOP! the Turf Wars.

SatCam

09-03-2003, 05:13 PM

I wonder when her markers will run out of ink.

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monsterone

09-03-2003, 05:47 PM

Find the tobacco ball

http://simpsons.metropoliglobal.com/opinion/aabf19/bart-tomacco.gif

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<marquee behavior=alternate scrolldelay=30> bartender, can i get some stinks on the rocks? </Marquee>

mikeyboy

09-03-2003, 06:48 PM

If any of you are thinking about trying to sell her stuff as new age poetry to some big-time publishing company, don't bother. I already did. Of course, I told them this was the new stuff from Jewel.

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Furtherman

09-04-2003, 05:38 AM

After a night of searching, I have not found the tobacco ball. Alas, it awaits its next owner.... somewhere in time.

high fly

09-04-2003, 05:45 AM

WHITE DRUNKS ON POPE!

" and they ask me why I drink"

DJEvelEd

09-04-2003, 07:03 AM

Tobacco Ball:
Right-hander Cy Young got his start in the major leagues in 1890, yet was still pitching well 20 years later, and from 1900 through 1909 he won more games (230) than anybody except Christy Mathewson. Young threw fastballs, curves and even a "tobacco" ball, and it's been said that in 22 years of pitching, he never suffered a sore arm.

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DJEvelEd

09-04-2003, 09:18 AM

Tobacco balls used to fight butt worms:

From NST, Sunday, September 20, 1998

Other Thots: A master of the political game
By A. Kadir Jasin

Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim's fiery reformasi oratory and his vow to seek
out newspaper editors "sampai ke lubang cacing" (into the worm's
burrow) reminds me of a certain medicine seller.
It is not that Anwar's oratory was better than the medicine seller's
but because they both spoke about cacing (worms).

Loman sold anything from deworming syrup to toothache, stomach-ache
and headache ointments.

He also doubled as tukang gigi by extracting rotten teeth of very
desperate, very poor and very uneducated villagers. Only later did the
authorities ban him from performing the extraction.

No less important of Loman's many attributes was his good-looking
wife, who was as much an attraction as his amusing oratory.

Loman's sales pitch for the deworming syrup was entertaining as it was
convincing. It never failed to promote brisk sales afterwards.

His number one target in the world of worms was the pinworm-like
enterobius vermicularis or commonly known as cacing rambu. For the
villagers, who were then lacking in hygiene, cacing rambu were the
nightly curse.

I will come to that later. For now it is Loman's sales pitch. But be
forewarned that frankness was Loman's trademark. It went something
like this: "Ladies and gentlemen, cacing lamu (rambu) is very
dangerous. It does not care whose anus it is. It digs my anus, it digs
your anus, it digs the king's anus, it even digs Tunku Abdul Rahman's
anus."

The victims of these tiny, white worms understood exactly what Loman
was saying - yours truly included - for cacing rambu could cause
sleepless nights and unending irritation and itchiness.

Loman went on: "Come and buy my prescription. If your illness is not
gone, your money is. But if you ask for your money back, I would have
spent it."

Of course, this is better said in northern Malay with Loman's
sing-song Thai intonation.

Once Loman caught men among the audience looking rather lustily at his
quite sexily dressed young wife.

He said: "Hat ini yuai. Hat ini pun yuai. Hat tu pun yuai," and
pointing to her, retorted "Hat itu tak yuai."

What Loman was driving at was that everything was for sale, except his
beautiful wife. That remark sent many men walking away in
embarrassment and Loman sacrificed some sales.

Although Anwar did not quite describe newspaper editors, in
particular those who did not feed from his hand, as worms, he did,
however vow to seek them out even if they sought shelter in worms'
burrows.

But before we try to understand the meaning of the threat, let me say
something about worms.

I have always been fascinated by these slimy, crawly creatures since I
was a boy in the Kedah farmland. These fascinating creatures of God
have always been a part of my life.

Understanding these common, simple creatures will make us more aware
of just how complex, intelligent and lucky we humans are, although we
may sometimes not use our intelligence wisely.

To correct any impression that worms live only in the ground as
Anwar's statement suggested, let us refresh our knowledge of worms.

The humble earthworm, in whose burrows newspaper editors may have to
hide from angry Anwar, has been a subject of little concern except
perhaps to anglers and gardeners.

But to begin with, worms live not only in the ground but in the water
and human body as well. Depending on the variety, they perform both
constructive and destructive functions.

The earthworm of the eisenia andrei species, for example, participates
very actively in the ecology of the soil and sub-soil. It is able to
produce an amazing 400-kg of nitrogen-rich compost per hectare per
year, with a percentage of nitrogen that is far higher than in good
manure.

Another species of earthworm, the eisenia fetida, produces compost
that contains hormones which help plants resist disease and grow
faster and stronger.

Researchers in Britain are looking into

Def Dave in SC

09-04-2003, 11:45 AM

I want breast implants in ass

Yeah, well I need them, sister!

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UCF:AYBABTU

DJEvelEd

09-05-2003, 02:34 AM

Actually there were many traditional cures for cacing rambu. My late
grandmother's favoured cure was to 1nsert a tobacco ball into the anal
cavity. It worked. The worms got cancer and died.

Somewhere in time, this conversation took place:

"Yo Squalisha, I heard yous gots da ASS WORMS"
"Fo sho, all us bum bitches gots da ASS WORMS"
"So what chu gon du"
"Looky Looky, I gots me a TOBACCO BALL"
"Sho nuff"

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This message was edited by DJEvelEd on 9-5-03 @ 7:21 AM

Billy Staples

09-05-2003, 06:52 AM

Bayonne huh.....make sure you say hi to Joe Poo's mom next time you see her!

(just kidding Joe)
its your grandma

Bayonne....a pimple on God's ass

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StupidGirlllll

09-05-2003, 06:59 AM

Hey Staples....Take it easy I am from Bayonne

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StupidGirlllll

09-05-2003, 07:00 AM

Hey Staples....Take it easy I am from Bayonne

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Def Dave in SC

09-05-2003, 10:24 AM

Dammit!!!!!!!! Stop with the double clicking. Once will do it!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

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StupidGirlllll

09-05-2003, 10:47 AM