How do you deal with a nastly looking toilet seat?

[Death Metal Moe]

OK. We all know the situation. You're out in public or maybe even over at someone's house who has the habit of pissing on their own seat or something. Bottom line is you've looked at the seat and you're less than impressed with how clean they keep their toilet.

So what do you do? I line the seat with paper personally. Actually, I usually take a wad of TP and wipe the seat down to make sure it's dry 1st too. Because it there's piss on the seat it's gonna come right through the paper lining.

I knew a bunch of guys on jobsites who said lining took too much time so they either hovered or just sat thier hairy asses down on the seat. That seems insane to me personally, especially on a jobsite.

So be honest and vote. Then, share a favorite Poo horror story you may have.

[spoon]

I go one step further than Moe on this. I will flush it, wipe the seat with a wet wad of tp, then wipe the seat with a dry wad, flush again, plaster the bitch like a tree on mischief night (making sure to cover the area where your johhnson would hang extra well), and then add a clean wad of tp to the water for splash protection during the deed. Neurotic, OcD, whatever, it works. I should patent the process.

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This message was edited by spoon on 8-27-03 @ 6:32 AM

[Reephdweller]

In general I do all I can in those instances to get home to do the deed. Though if I have no choice, I will do similar to what spoon does, in that I wipe it all down, generally I will fashion a TP glove of sorts for my hand to help avoid any contact with my skin at all. I then take even more paper and wad it up and then wipe it all down. If I'm in someone's home I'll even go up a step and spray bathroom cleaner (scrubbing bubbles) over the seat to disinfect it as well.

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This message was edited by reefdwella on 8-27-03 @ 8:41 AM

[sr71blackbird]

Im with spoon! I cant imagine how someone could hover over it. I wish they made some kind of toilet condom, like a shower cap with a hole in the center, made out of tarp material or something. Thing is, unless you know enough to always have it with you, youd have to resort to the paper swaddling the shitter.


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Many Thanks Soup!

[A.J.]

This is precisely why I hate taking a deuce on any toilet other than my own.

In the event of such an emergency, my technique is simliar to Spoon's.

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[FUNKMAN]

This is precisely why I hate taking a deuce on any toilet other than my own.


shitbreak

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"good golly miss molly"l

[high fly]

Shit.

I mean, sheee-it!!

I got the shit.

Anybody need any shit?

Anyway, since getting the crabs from a toilet seat at Ronald Reagan-George Washington National Airport, I am quite fastidious with strange toilet seats.
First I wipe them off with damp toilet paper and flush. Then I wipe down with dry paper and flush that.
Then I'll use it normally.
I've known women to line the seat, but I tried a few times and it was damned near impossible--some of it would slip or an air draft or a fart would move some of it.
That's at a friend or acquaintance's house.
Atv a gas station or something, I'll hover.

Someone's got shit for brains.

Sorry if I was too shitty about it.

Give the bastard a shit sandwich .

Had enough of this shit?

well, shit on it, then.

" and they ask me why I drink"

This message was edited by high fly on 8-27-03 @ 11:32 AM

[Death Metal Moe]

Anyway, since getting the crabs from a toilet seat at Ronald Reagan-George Washington National Airport


Hookers are people too. It's not nice to call them names like that. They have to make a living just like the rest of us.

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Killing me is not enough to make me go away....

[Evilpete]

I'd tell your mom to wash her damn face...OH!!!!

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<marquee><b> IM me at Evilpete66 or I will be force to perform a "Tony Danza" on 'yo ass!!!

[high fly]

Don't have a shit fit.

" and they ask me why I drink"

[Heavy]

Moe, your co-workers that claim to hover are full of shit. I dare you to TRY to hover in a porta potty and see how long that lasts. Impossible. I coat the seat in TP.

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[high fly]

I got plenny of hover practice in europe.
Lucky bastards over there also have had the self-sterilizing toilets for over 15 years now.
That shit's old hat for them.

I don't know whether to shit or wind my watch.

" and they ask me why I drink"

[Fallon]

I try to hold it until I get home, but this past Sunday I was out and had to go pretty bad. The toilet at this roller hockey arena was discusting, I hovered.

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[TheMojoPin]

I shit at home.

Stop mangling your stomachs with so much junk food, you fucking savages.

But in the off chance I have an emergency, I just wipe the seat down with a piece of paper and shit away. It's just my ass, goddammit, and it's inevitable I'll shower again SOME time in my life.

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[Furtherman]

I give the seat a good wipe down and shit away as well. All that covering the seat business is a waste of time. Your hands probably touch much dirtier things every day.

[golfcourseguy]

I really want to believe that there are others who "want to leave the world" a better place.
I wipe the offensive movement away.
(I will even "man the plunger", if available)
When finished, I will "flush and plunge again", if neccessary. Warning the "incoming" is "common courtesy".
Moe. I wan't to believe that you "flush your paperings".
I am 'sick to death", of entering a, "papered to death ,room"that isn't flushed.
The follks I refer to, do not flush
do not dispose of their paperings

They don't even "wipe and flush"!

" editing posts since day one"

This message was edited by golfcourseguy on 8-27-03 @ 5:29 PM

[high fly]

A woman friend of mine told me the toilet seats in China are just black with dirt.
It seems that over there they don't sit on the toilet, but climb up there and squat on it, with their bare feet on the seat.


" and they ask me why I drink"

[golfcourseguy]

When I "warned "a woman on a movie crew of a particularly nasty toilet, she smiled and said, " I'm a girl, my mother taught me how to hover when I was six".

" editing posts since day one"

[Tall_James]

Piss on the seat, then shit on the floor.

Only kidding. I'll look for the nearest restaurant, order a cup of coffee and race to the can.

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In my opinion, there's nothing in this world beats a '52 Vincent and a red headed girl.

[DJEvelEd]

I like to make bad things worse. I love the cloudy green color I get when I pee into someone else's shit. The happy feelings I get when I soak the roll of toilet paper with piss. After I wipe my ass, I wipe the door handle and toilet flusher with shit. Yeah I'm the guy who doesn't flush and pisses on the floor. Yeah that Stinkfinger you got the other day was from me.

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[carguy]

I found a dead hooker in a Port-O- Potty once. There wasn't enough toilet paper around so I just moved on.

[high fly]

This shit's getting old...

" and they ask me why I drink"