My cats make me feel really guilty [Archive]

Gwen

08-26-2003, 12:47 PM

Inspired by Arienette's horndog thread I went to go run a batch. When doing so I lock the door and sometimes a cat will get locked in with me.

In the midst of "taking care of stuffs" i heard a noise and I looked over and it was my cat staring at me. Now I feel really guilty, but if I lock them out of my room they poke their paws under the door as a sign they want to come back in. That also makes me feel guilty. Its a lose lose situation...well not really, but its just creepy.

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Hoojibs

08-26-2003, 12:55 PM

http://www.vetmed.wisc.edu/dms/james/Images/SHOCK.GIF

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Furtherman

08-26-2003, 12:57 PM

The cats? How do you think I felt? All crammed up underneath your bed getting pounded by the mattress and choking on dust.

fiestygal

08-26-2003, 01:41 PM

this thread is pretty friggin funny

I'M RICH BIA-OTCH!

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Gvac

08-26-2003, 01:57 PM

I could never punch the clown with my cat in the room.

Kudos to you, Gwen. You're a better man than me.

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FUNKMAN

08-26-2003, 02:09 PM

they poke their paws under the door as a sign they want to come back in

one of my cats is a bit more forceful, she tears up the edge of the carpet by the door, what a pain in the dupa... i only feel guilty after i give her a swift smack in the hiney...

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Heavy

08-26-2003, 02:10 PM

I could eat your pussy if thatll help things..?

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JustJon

08-26-2003, 02:16 PM

You traumatised that poor kitty for life

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FUNKMAN

08-26-2003, 02:19 PM

just goes to show ya, "cat's love fish"...

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DJEvelEd

08-26-2003, 02:19 PM

My cats politely look away.

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Fallon

08-26-2003, 02:25 PM

http://www.gifs.net/animate/cat.gif

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Fallon

08-26-2003, 02:31 PM

Ooooh ya baby, nice and slow.
http://www.gifs.net/animate/cat1.gif

If you need any help I'm right over here.
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Mike Teacher

08-26-2003, 02:45 PM

I'm at a loss...

[edit: I actually fucked up a four word post.]
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This message was edited by Mike Teacher on 8-26-03 @ 6:46 PM

Gwen

08-26-2003, 02:46 PM

just goes to show ya, "cat's love fish"...

< Cartman > Seriously, I hate you guys so very very much< /cartman >

I knew I woudl catch hell for this. And no, I wasn't making the cat watch and no I wasn't batching wit the cat and no I do NOT smell bad. I take pride in my tookie maintenance...:mad:

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This message was edited by Gwen on 8-26-03 @ 6:49 PM

Heavy

08-26-2003, 05:00 PM

I'll say

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<marquee>A proportionate amount of props are equally distributed to my nigga's Fluff, Alexxis, CanOfSoup15, WWFallon and Katylina</marquee>

sr71blackbird

08-26-2003, 06:02 PM

Well, your playing with one pussy, maybe the cat feels jealous? My dog likes to come into the bathroom while Im Dr0pping bombs, and I feel really awkward because I know their sence of smell is like a million times better than ours and I can only imagine what the dogs going through. Either dogs enjoy it, or they are really doodie heads.

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Many Thanks Soup!

Death Metal Moe

08-26-2003, 06:12 PM

Who's Gwen?

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FUNKMAN

08-26-2003, 06:21 PM

My dog likes to come into the bathroom while Im Dr0pping bombs

WHAT! no pictures or illustrations, your slipping man...

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A.J.

08-27-2003, 04:20 AM

This thread gave me "Cat Scratch Fever."

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DarkHippie

08-27-2003, 05:08 AM

Hosp

08-27-2003, 06:11 AM

You're not alone in this gwen. my dog always barges in on me when I'm firing the porrige gun. He just sits and watches quizzically.

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He's only wondering why you don't give yourself oral like he does.

And Gwen. maybe they're just wondering what you're doing with Hello Kitty.

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high fly

08-27-2003, 07:14 AM

Once I was banging the daylights out of my girlfriend and her cat attacked my bouncing balls.
It was not a pretty sight....

" and they ask me why I drink"

spoon

08-27-2003, 06:47 PM

sr71blackbird

08-27-2003, 06:52 PM

WHAT! no pictures or illustrations, your slipping man...

http://fourthmarinesband.com/a_bomb.jpg

http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/sr71-sig.gif

Many Thanks Soup!

Gwen

08-27-2003, 08:17 PM

I learned two things from this post:

1) Cats still suck (especially on high fly's balls/wasn't that sort of tale in "Chasing Amy"?)

2) Girls using the term batch makes me sick to my stomach. Just isn't right!

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And you may not like it! But you will learn to love it!

Okay, so what is the proper masturbatory lingo?

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FUNKMAN

08-27-2003, 10:07 PM

Okay, so what is the proper masturbatory lingo?

that's a good question!

'rubbing one out' is all i can think of...

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monsterone

08-27-2003, 10:13 PM

please email me a video so i may analyze your guilt

http://www.loc.gov/loc/lcib/0002/images/yr-freud.jpg

and i agree with fm, "rub one out" works with both genders

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Heavy

08-27-2003, 11:22 PM

So she was rubbin out a fresh batch, whats the problem? Dont you be tellin that lil pumpkin what to call her batch running sessions Mr!

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spoon

08-27-2003, 11:47 PM

That's easy!

For the ladies it's called "Dreaming of Spoon".

For the men it's called "Funkifing" or "Death Metal Masturbation".

Seriously Gwen, I don't know exactly, but something more sweet and womanly. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I'm a romantic at heart, even though I'm a prick on the site.

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And you may not like it! But you will learn to love it!

Hosp

08-28-2003, 05:53 AM

I know what Spoon means, it's like how they say they are "Powdering their nose" when they really go take a shit.

How about...

Rocking the Cazba?

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Gwen

08-28-2003, 08:23 AM

Hmmm....

I was:

Petting the kitty
Tickling the tookie
attending to business

??

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TheMojoPin

08-28-2003, 08:45 AM

I thought my screenname was all about jerking off.

WHO LIED TO MY FACE?!?! WHO?!?!

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Tall_James

08-28-2003, 09:06 AM

My cat had a problem with shit sticking to its fur...

...so I stopped wiping with her.

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Gwen

08-28-2003, 09:27 AM

::rimshot::

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TheGameHHH

08-28-2003, 11:43 AM

my girlfriend just went away with her family for 2 weeks so she asked me if I could watch her bunny for her. In order not to burden the rest of my family, or give my dogs something to harass, i decided to keep the bunny in my room. So everything is going great and on the second day i find myself home alone when i realize it's a great time to catch the "empty house beat" (you all know what i'm talking about cause those are the best batches). I lay down on my bed and start to go about my business when all of a sudden i look over the end of my bed and there's the bunny in her cage starring at me dead in the eyes, it was the creepiest thing ever. I knew right then and there I wasn't gonna let a bunny stop me, so I pulled my blankets over me and completed the act. but that same feeling of guilt ran through me, and i didn't know how to handle it. its odd how pets can do that to you.

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high fly

08-28-2003, 11:52 AM

It thought you were offering it a carrot.

" and they ask me why I drink"

Hosp

08-28-2003, 11:58 AM

Maybe it thought you were a jack rabbit?

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Gwen

08-28-2003, 12:17 PM

TheGameHHH

08-28-2003, 01:22 PM

See, thats Catholic guilt. I defintiley didn't feel that bad so I just kept on "pettin' the kitty" out in the open.
Catholic guilt my ass, if it was Catholic guilt I wouldn't have been masturbating to begin with. It was the simple fact that I had never had an animal watch me beat off before and I found it a little odd. I still did it, its not like I pussed out.

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Hosp

08-28-2003, 01:32 PM

I knew right then and there I wasn't gonna let a bunny stop me, so I pulled my blankets over me and completed the act.

See, thats Catholic guilt. I defintiley didn't feel that bad so I just kept on "pettin' the kitty" out in the open.

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What a trooper!

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<center>Come join the fun now with me and all the gang,</center><center>Learning from each other while we do our thing.</center><center>Nah, nah, nah; Going to have a Good Time!!!.</center>

DrewP

08-28-2003, 01:41 PM

2) Girls using the term batch makes me sick to my stomach. Just isn't right!

It actually turns me on.

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Iamnotatool

08-28-2003, 02:00 PM

How about Jilling off?

Drowning the lilman in the canoe?
2 knuckle shuffle? (or 4 knuckle for some of you, freaks)

My favorite, 2 in the pink, one in the stink.

Please don't hold my huge nutbag against me, or I'll hold it against you that you have flapjack tits

Contra

08-30-2003, 02:20 PM

Hmm...

All I can think of is how I wouldn't mind being that cat.

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kc7586

09-01-2003, 08:48 AM

animals watching me in sexual acts is definatly weird. when im taking care of myself, sometimes my dog will just sit there and watch me, its kinda disturbing. but not enough to make me stop, like gwen. when im going at it with my man his cat likes to lay on top of his dresser and watch, the first few times i saw the cat was there i hesitated a little and it weirded me out a little, but now i really dont care so its all good.

and gwen i would feel more guilty if the kitty was putting paws under the door trying to get back in then if it was watching me get off.

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FUNKMAN

09-01-2003, 08:54 AM

'massaging the muffin'

'fileting the flounder'

'fingerin the hood'

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Arienette

09-01-2003, 01:51 PM

Inspired by Arienette's horndog thread I went to go run a batchi am so, so honored. nobel prize, schmobel prize.. this is where it's at.

i dont have any pets at home, but my boy's roommate has two cats. they'll sometimes come into his room while we're doing stuff (they have weird doors), or will just pop out from under the bed or something. i find it more annoying than anything, but i could see feeling guilty if they were my cats.

and i think i like "petting the kitty" best.

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SatCam

09-01-2003, 03:10 PM

I've batched in front of my dog. Female dog.

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