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33 ways to order a pizza [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

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trashy/cheezy30
07-23-2003, 08:45 AM
1. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. When they ask for your phone # give them theirs and see if they notice.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

10. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.

11. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

12. Stutter on the letter "p."

13. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

15. Change your accent every three seconds.

16. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" See how they respond.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Imitate the order taker's voice.

23. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

29. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

30. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

31. Ask to see a menu.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

god im a juvinile tard

remember........always resort to violence
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*damn commies*

Completely melodramatic since birth .-=smirk=- -=giggles=-
you make me fell so good :)

IrishAlkey
07-23-2003, 08:49 AM
You should e-mail this to ten of your closest friends.

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mikeyboy
07-23-2003, 08:57 AM
This would all be really funny if I was 8.

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trashy/cheezy30
07-23-2003, 09:10 AM
well , to quote myself i am a juvinile tard , what do you expect?

remember........always resort to violence
<img src=http://members.aol.com/canofsoup15/images/trashy-cheezy-sig.gif>
*damn commies*

Completely melodramatic since birth .-=smirk=- -=giggles=-
you make me fell so good :)

sr71blackbird
07-23-2003, 09:23 AM
That was the stupidest thing I have ever seen posted. Shame

:confuse:

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jocefus
07-23-2003, 09:27 AM
my wife is sick, my daughters sick and your talking about coupons!! what can i do for you sir!!? shut the fuck up!!

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Katylina
07-23-2003, 09:27 AM
i am a juvinile tard


... and your spelling ability proves it!

<marquee>I would take it like a champ for Jim Norton. My step-dad's not mean, he's just adjusting.</marquee>
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IrishAlkey
07-23-2003, 09:31 AM
You forgot way #34...

Tell Katylina to spread her legs, then throw some sauce on the cheese.

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Katylina
07-23-2003, 09:34 AM
Hahahaha-- nasty.

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IrishAlkey
07-23-2003, 09:40 AM
Tell me about it, Pizza Slut...

<3

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furie
07-23-2003, 09:46 AM
http://www.navs.org/ido/images/monkey_sad.jpg

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SatCam
07-23-2003, 11:19 AM
Why don't I just have my mommy order the pizza, you monkey blowjob.

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SuperClerk
07-23-2003, 03:07 PM
my wife is sick, my daughters sick and your talking about coupons!! what can i do for you sir!!? shut the fuck up!!


I'm going to bomb that place.

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It's always fun until someone gets hurt.....and then it's just hilarious.

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shamus mcfitzy
07-23-2003, 03:25 PM
it is corny, but i actually laughed a few times. I've tried the questions thing and the accents thing. I guess i'm just stupid. I guess i should just put the gun in my mouth. Fine.

Johnathan H Christ
07-23-2003, 09:20 PM
weren't you on collin quinn's show last night with the 10 reasons why shoes are better than men?

sure, if you're 15 these things seem cute...untill you think about a guy like me, driving around alone with your food. what would stop a guy from say... running his fingers all over his dirty little baloon knot, then planting them square in the middle of your food.



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mdr55
07-23-2003, 09:25 PM
My sis brought home a peanut butter and jelly pizza pie one time. I thought it was disgusting at first but it was good. It was like eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on toasted bread.

monsterone
07-23-2003, 09:25 PM
running his fingers all over his dirty little baloon knot, then planting them square in the middle of your food.


smelling those said fingers in your sig pic?

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Melrapuo
07-23-2003, 09:27 PM
this thread makes me think of the 10 reasons why i wish you would never post.

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Death Metal Moe
07-23-2003, 09:39 PM
I love that Medadeth song:

"33 Ways to Order Pizza!!!!! We're not ready to see you yet!"

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spoon
07-23-2003, 10:50 PM
#35 I just order plain French Bread Pizza on her birthday. What to do? What to do?

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Kewlkat
07-24-2003, 09:32 AM
Better yet, #36 just call up Frenchie.

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P.S. Asswhack!!
thnx to irishkb

high fly
07-25-2003, 01:10 PM
I like to mumble a key word or phrase, as in:
".....and sausage, and onions and extrblmmphglbl and green peppers".
"Sir, that was sausage, onions and what?"
"I said sausage, onions, extrblmmphglbl and green peppers."
"Was that extra pepperoni?"
"Did I say extra pepperoni?"
"I'm not sure what.."
I said I wanted sausage and onions and extrblmmphgbl and green peppers!"
"What was that extra item sir?"
"Extra what?"
"Didn't you say something extra, let's see, after onions?"
"Look, dammit, I gave you my order, now when is it going to be ready?"
and so on and so on.......but only to a place that's fucked up a previous order.


" and they ask me why I drink"

french bread pizza
07-26-2003, 06:56 AM
yeah you know us italians too..we make the best pizza


oh wait no that's mexicans

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gypsy
07-26-2003, 07:26 AM
you tell them all that shit and the manager will give you his "super secret special sauce"

I can drive like Marcus Gronholm

SatCam
07-26-2003, 03:21 PM
you tell them all that shit and the manager will give you his "super secret special sauce"

So THAT'S what that white stuff was. All this time I thought it was cheese

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TheMojoPin
07-26-2003, 05:55 PM
"YO! No tip unless you send that fruity-shirted fuck whut pees in muh peezza!"

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