The Neighborhood Nut

[FUNKMAN]

Did you or do you still have a Neighborhood Nut?

Not necessarily a full blown loonie but someone who would put on a song and dance if you asked them or got totally mad if you said a specific word.

We had Irish Jim, he looked to be in his 60's and i had no idea where he lived or what his real name was but when he walked by and you asked him to dance he would do the Irish Jig for you.

There was another older man who looked "bummish" and he walked like 10 yards ahead of his female friend. If you yelled out the word "CINCINNATI", he got really pissed, WHY? I have no idea and can never really remember how it got started.

There was another guy who we called Dickey Doo, but he actually had a slight form of retardation, he actually scared me but other people got him to do crazy stuff.

So did you have any Stars in your neck of the woods?

<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

am i in my cabin dreaming, or are you really scheming

[Death Metal Moe]

We have a guy who puts foil on his forehead to block transmissions or something.

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[SatCam]

I used to have this mental case who walked around and sat on peoples lawns, eating soup out of a pot. He'd wave to people when they passed by in their car. He lived with his parents. I havent seen him in a year.

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[nickeye]

I sit in the Starbucks for hours watching The Mud Lady of Morristown (http://www.midnightsociety.com/web/Legends/Mudlady/mudlady.html). She paints her face and hair with brown goo, but, apparently, she used to be some kind of beauty queen. Fascinating.

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[Lisa Croft]

There's this hugely fat man who has been walking around my neighborhood digging through the garbage for years now. He always wears a fanny pack and a green visor. He is just on the line between disheveled and homeless and mom always told me to stay away from him because he's "creepy". About two years ago, I was walking toward my house from a couple blocks away and I heard someone yelling behind me. It was the neighborhood psycho screaming "You're trash! Your father's trash! Your whole family is trash!". I ran all the way home and couldn't understand why he would say that, as we've never had any encounters with him. I mean, yeah, sure we're trash, but he couldn't know that. It didn't make sense until months later when I caught him yelling at a young chinese girl "You're trash! Your whole family's trash!" Slightly hypocritical I think.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/fezwhatleyfan/lisasig">

[FUNKMAN]

I mean, yeah, sure we're trash,


but look on the bright side, you were blessed with a great set of trash 'cans'
:p

<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

am i in my cabin dreaming, or are you really scheming

[Reephdweller]

There used to be three of them by me.

One was a guy who used to walk around with a violin asking if he could play you a song, if you said no he would go bonkers.

Then there was another guy who was a complete religious freak who would walk right up to you and ask you point blank about specific parts of the bible. I and MOST people would ignore them, but my brother would respond and get into conversations with him...45 minutes later I would be ready to kill my brother for wasting time.

Lastly was a guy who used to go around with a pickup truck and a trailer hitch with a giant crucifix on the back and an upside down american flag. He would walk around with a nazi symbol on his shirt and would talk with a megaphone about god. He'd hang around town all day long annoying anyone and everyone. Eventually the local town must've done something to get rid of him, I haven't seen him in a long time.

But right now, there isn't really any nut jobs like those guys hanging around anymore.

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[East Side Dave]

Oh no, Mr. Funkman, there was no such person in my neighborhood.





*looks in mirror+; glues cotton to eyebrows; proclaims love for Michael Dukakis*





+ the mirror in this passage referred to is actually a toaster as the author broke his mirror by playing indoors hopscoth tournaments with his homeless friend Phil and his parrot

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This message was edited by East Side Dave on 7-14-03 @ 11:52 AM

[FUNKMAN]

*looks in mirror*; glues cotton to eyebrows; proclaims love for Michael Dukakis


FUNNY! How's Olympia?



<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

am i in my cabin dreaming, or are you really scheming

[A.J.]

For several years there has been this baglady hanging around in Georgetown who makes these signs that says stuff like "The CIA killed my son". She writes these lengthy diatribes on these signs.

The thing I've always wondered is how a baglady manages to get suppiles of posterboard and markers?

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