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The Chairman
06-08-2003, 02:16 AM
"Tell me what you eat and I'll tell you who you are."
Brillat-Savarin
also:

"Tell me to put on silver satin pajamas and walk around New York, and I'll tell you that's a good way to get the shit kicked out of you." --Brillat-Iron Chef Japanese

"Tell me what the frequency is and I'll call you Kenneth." --Brillat-Stipe

"Tell me an actor, and I'll link him to me through other movies."--Brillat-Kevin Bacon

"Tell me you are constipated and I'll tell you to have a colonoscopy." --Brillat-Horde King

"Tell me the way I use my walk, and I'll tell you I'm a ladies man." --Brillat-Bee Gees

"Tell me you're a bud and I'll want to smoke you."--Brillat-Aggie

"Tell me I'm a former producer and I'll tell you I'm not gay." -- Brillat Al Dukes

"Tell me you want a menage a trois and I'll get there in my car faster than a NASCAR Pole Car without a Restrictor Plate."-- Brillat Mikey D

"Tell me we're buying a new refrigerator and I'll make sure it has a good crisper section." --Brillat Christopher Lowell

"Tell me anything and I'll kick your ass."- Brillat TeRRor

"Tell me what I think of a movie and my drunken wife will tell you to go fuck yourself." - Brillat Paul O.

IRON CHEF

(Theme from the movie Backdraft plays in the background.)

http://www.ironchef.com/img/fukui.jpg

Fukui-san says:

Five years ago, a man's fantasy became reality in a forum never seen before - a giant cooking arena. The Kitchen Stadium. The motivation for spending his fortune to create Kitchen Stadium was to encounter new original cuisine's which could be called true artistic creations.

http://www.ironchef.com/img/kaga10.jpg

Chairman Kaga: "ALLEZ CUISINE!"

To realize his dream, he first secretly started selecting the top chefs of various styles of cooking. And he named his men the Iron Chefs - The Invincible Men of Culinary Skill.

Iron Chef Japanese is Masaharu Morimoto.
http://www.ironchef.com/img/morimoto.gif

Iron Chef French is Hiroyuki Sakai.
http://www.ironchef.com/img/sakai.gif

Iron Chef Chinese is Chen Kenichi.
http://www.ironchef.com/img/chin.gif

And Masahiko Kobe is Iron Chef Italian.
http://www.ironchef.com/img/kobe.jpg

The Kitchen Stadium is the arena where Iron Chefs await the challenges of Master Chefs from around the world. Both the Iron Chef and challenger have one hour to tackle the theme ingredient of the day. Using all their senses, skills, creativity, they're to prepare artistic dishes never tasted before. And if ever a challenger wins over the Iron Chef, he or she will gain the people's ovation and fame will meet the Master Chefs from around the world and their artistic creations.

What inspiration will today's challenger bring, and how will the Iron Chef fight back?

The heat will be on!"

Chairman Kaga:

"If my memory serves me correctly, there is a radio show popular in the United States called the Ron and Fez Show. News of its immense popularity has reached as far as Japan, where I have heard one of their staff members is a true food and drink connoisseur. I have also learned that the show has moved to Washington, DC, where my good friend, Ryozo Kato, Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of Japan to the United States of America resides.

It is also a special occasion for the Iron Chef show, the taping of our 500th episode. I heard this show will be carried live through a feed provided by MSteels-san and Jiz-san of the United States to memorialize this special day.

To honor this momentous occasion, we have broken a few rules in Kitchen Stadium. Today, along with the principal challenger, we will allow him to be assisted by two assistants, his mother, a hot dog vendor from Long Island, New York, and what they call the sexy "Silera", a regular guest on the Ron and Fez show. To make it fair, they will compete against three of the Iron Chefs!

Fukui-san:

Coming into Kitchen Stadium are the challengers, "Team Billy Staples", led by B

StupidGirlllll
06-08-2003, 05:22 AM
A+

http://members.aol.com/TheToddsterLSP/sigpics/stupidgirlllll2.gif

reeshy
06-08-2003, 06:17 AM
HOLY, HOLY, HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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DarkHippie
06-08-2003, 06:45 AM
Al Jarreau: "Hey I'm just happy to be here and not have to sing for my food. I love it all, you know what I mean? It's all excellent."
You'll never find/ that iron Chef of mine :)

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Reephdweller
06-08-2003, 07:39 AM
Sweet merciful fuck!!!

I actually read all that.




I need a nap.

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mikeyboy
06-08-2003, 07:54 AM
Bravo!

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TooCute
06-08-2003, 08:11 AM
Brillat-Too Cute: Tell me what your wrote and I'll tell you it was fucking brilliant

(or unless you just wrote that iron chef post, more appropriate might be: Tell me what you wrote and I'll tell you why you're retardedly wrong)

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Hawiian shirt craig
06-08-2003, 08:26 AM
this board has more ADD than VD, u think most of us will read that?

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HAVE NICE THINGS!!

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TooCute
06-08-2003, 08:33 AM
this board has more ADD than VD, u think most of us will read that?


It was written for the people that DO read it.

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ToddEVF
06-08-2003, 08:39 AM
Chairman, i now have a new respect for you. that was fucking amazing. . . however there is one discrepincy. He's facing 3 Iron Chefs, i suppose Staples-san is scared of Iron Chef Italian, Masahiko Kobe. Plus don't you think atleast one of the Iron Chefs would have kicked Staples ass, the judges aren't usually fond of greasy, fattening stadium food

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TheGameHHH
06-08-2003, 09:01 AM
that's the first time in about a year and a half i bothered to read all of a "long" post. the best part about it was i most definatly wasn't disappointed....hell of a post Chairman.

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TheMojoPin
06-08-2003, 09:30 AM
The way this chubby white man has created such a tangy dish, very nice, very masculine on my tongue as I chew. I also enjoyed the kielbasa, the leftovers of which I will use during tarot card readings. And the beer! I am getting quite hot! Excellent!

"Eeeessss so REEEALLL!!!"

This post just made my day.

ALLEZ CUISINE!

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cozmokramer
06-08-2003, 09:43 AM
I bow to you.

Masterpiece Kaga!

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Zipgun
06-08-2003, 09:48 AM
He's facing 3 Iron Chefs, i suppose Staples-san is scared of Iron Chef Italian, Masahiko Kobe. Plus don't you think atleast one of the Iron Chefs would have kicked Staples ass, the judges aren't usually fond of greasy, fattening stadium food


None of you should be surprised at Billy-San's fearless culinary skills. I mean... don't you guys read World of Cuisine Magazine regularly?

<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/iron_chef_staples.jpg>

<img src=http://www.atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarkdpsig2.jpg>



This message was edited by skidmark on 6-8-03 @ 1:53 PM

GaryWyze
06-08-2003, 10:25 AM
<font color=purple>Now I'm starving. That was excellent!

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Much thanks to CZM for the killer sig

SatCam
06-08-2003, 03:06 PM
WHAT THE FUCKKK!!!!?????!?!!!?!??!?!

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Wormwood
06-08-2003, 03:17 PM
Are there Cliffs Notes or maybe a movie that I can rent about that story instead.

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Contra
06-08-2003, 03:49 PM
u think most of us will read that?


it took my 5 minutes just to SCROLL through that post, jeebus!

Another Contra and LSP joint production
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RageCage
06-08-2003, 03:53 PM
How can I show my respect for such an honorable post?
http://www2.next.ne.jp/~mattsuan/seppuku.JPG
Seppuku is the only way!




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Kool and the mother fuckin gang.

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ChickenHawk
06-08-2003, 04:04 PM
I'm dizzy...


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HEY BLINK! SUCK MY DINK!
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Alice S. Fuzzybutt
06-08-2003, 04:50 PM
BRAVO!!!!!

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thank you dcpete!

I'm a big wheel down at the cracker factory.

Tenbatsuzen
06-08-2003, 05:29 PM
The first Kaga thread over three paragraphs I actually read start to end and laughed.

Bravo. Good show.

In the future, we need more of the Performing Artist KORN. And since Billy was from NYC, where were the Zagats!? I smell a rematch. I also miss Tommy in his Morimoto costume.





<img src="http://tenbatsuzen.homestead.com/files/franksig1.jpg">

A.J.
06-09-2003, 05:37 AM
"BANZAI!"

http://www.nnc.or.jp/~t-uchida/upfile/yuka/banzai.jpg

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A Skidmark production.

golfcourseguy
06-09-2003, 05:48 AM
Lemon Chicken, kielbasa and the fine top fermented ale that has been naturally krausened in the bottle and poured it into ice cold frosty glasses.

Hoppy together

Part of the fun , in a Chairman post ( aside from a dozen good laughs ) is the couple of hours of "investigating" subjects that he weaves in .


" editing posts since day one"

BrianTheBailBondsman
06-09-2003, 06:53 AM
Thank God for auto text read programs.

I almost had to buy a 25" monitor to read that.

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Cybersoldier
06-09-2003, 07:20 AM
One of the funniest post I have read in a while

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