The Chairman
05-21-2003, 12:37 PM
I crashed at a friend's house recently after a night of HEAVY carousing. When addled by alcohol, there's nothing much I won't sleep on...bed of nails, the floor, a sketchy couch from the Salvation Army. And I usually sleep like a baby.
Sometimes, my "crash host" is gracious enough to offer things like a futon or even a bed. And with it might even come sheets and a pillow.
I had the futon plus blanket plus pillow option. Seemed awesome to me. So it's like 5AM, my host opens the futon and throws me a blanket and a pillow.
Well here's the problem. The pillow had "the funk." You know that smell like 30 other people crashed on the very same futon before me and were offered that very same pillow and slept on it and it was never washed?
The funk.
So my solution was to take the pillowcase off and put the pillow in my undershirt, using at as pillowcase.
However...I woke up the next day, aside from hung over, with that certain "what was I thinking sleeping on that funky shit" feeling. I felt dirty, like I was raped by the sheets. I felt itchy (no, not crabs or scabies) but just that mind over matter I need to put myself in some type of decontamination chamber feeling. My body felt like my teeth feel if I don't brush them for three days (God Forbid.)
The remedy (after I came home)....I took a Green Vitabath. Then as I soaked, I used one third of a jar of Origins Ginger Salt Scrub, abrading my skin to the point of dermabrasion. Followed this all with a long, hot shower.
OK, so I then felt clean. Really clean.
Moral of the story: if you're gonna offer a guest sheets, let them be clean. If not, point them to the couch and say, "there's the couch." Less is expected of a couch. More prophylactic measures can be taken when you know you're gonna be sleeping on a couch (like sleeping fully clothed.)
OK, I'm still clean. Clean is good.
<img src = http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg>
Ride 'em hard and put 'em away wet.
2%
Sometimes, my "crash host" is gracious enough to offer things like a futon or even a bed. And with it might even come sheets and a pillow.
I had the futon plus blanket plus pillow option. Seemed awesome to me. So it's like 5AM, my host opens the futon and throws me a blanket and a pillow.
Well here's the problem. The pillow had "the funk." You know that smell like 30 other people crashed on the very same futon before me and were offered that very same pillow and slept on it and it was never washed?
The funk.
So my solution was to take the pillowcase off and put the pillow in my undershirt, using at as pillowcase.
However...I woke up the next day, aside from hung over, with that certain "what was I thinking sleeping on that funky shit" feeling. I felt dirty, like I was raped by the sheets. I felt itchy (no, not crabs or scabies) but just that mind over matter I need to put myself in some type of decontamination chamber feeling. My body felt like my teeth feel if I don't brush them for three days (God Forbid.)
The remedy (after I came home)....I took a Green Vitabath. Then as I soaked, I used one third of a jar of Origins Ginger Salt Scrub, abrading my skin to the point of dermabrasion. Followed this all with a long, hot shower.
OK, so I then felt clean. Really clean.
Moral of the story: if you're gonna offer a guest sheets, let them be clean. If not, point them to the couch and say, "there's the couch." Less is expected of a couch. More prophylactic measures can be taken when you know you're gonna be sleeping on a couch (like sleeping fully clothed.)
OK, I'm still clean. Clean is good.
<img src = http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/blink1027stinkssig.jpg>
Ride 'em hard and put 'em away wet.
2%