Man Slices Own Head Off in Supermarket Suicide

[Reephdweller]

Man Slices Own Head Off in Supermarket Suicide

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (Reuters) - A South African man died trying to cut his own head off with a butcher's band saw in a major supermarket, police said on Wednesday.
Superintendent Jay Naicker said the Shoprite Checkers store in Richards Bay had been ready to close on Monday when the man wandered in and headed for the meat department. "He just walked in, went to the band saw machine and switched it on," Naicker told Reuters. "Apparently he knew what he was doing. He put his neck to the blade and it cut about half way through before he fell to the floor."

Naicker said the man, later identified as 31-year-old Emmanuel Gumbi, was pronounced dead at the scene.

He said police had turned up no motive for the suicide, which stunned staff and shoppers at the store in northern Kwazulu-Natal province.

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[A.J.]

"Cleanup in Aisle 2."

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A Skidmark production.

[IrishAlkey]

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SLICE IT THIN!?!

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[Spank Daddy]

To quote from Christopher from The Soprano's, as he and Furio are chopping up Richie at Satrial's(?) meat market..........

"It will be a long time before I eat anything from here"

[SuperClerk]

A pound of head cheese, please.

Currently thinking of a new sig pic idea.

[ADF]

Gumbi, no!

<img src = http://www.gumbyworld.com/memorylane/pokey.gif>

<center><a href = "http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com"><img src = http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/adftron.gif title = "2%" width = 300 height = 100></a>
Do you know the way to San Jose?
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[Tall_James]

"Apparently he knew what he was doing. He put his neck to the blade and it cut about half way through before he fell to the floor."
It still tasted better than the Olive Loaf.

<img src=http://users.rcn.com/jamespatton/redmeatsig.jpg>

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[furie]

http://www.cs.panam.edu/~lgrabowski/gumby.jpg

that's what happens when you deal with gumbi's.

<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/surfer2.jpg" width=300 height=100>

[Jackie Sloan]

Nice Head, Deek. Walk it off, Deek.

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Huge thanks to Aggie n' Silent for the sig

[FatTony]

Gives the Deli Meat "Head Cheese" a whole new meaning now doesn't it.

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"They always win in the end."

[IrishAlkey]

What they don't mention is that this wasn't his first idea.

He originally knocked over the free sample lady and began poking himself in the face with the toothpicks she used to serve the little pieces of meat and cheese.

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[El Mudo]

I guess his life was "heading" in the wrong direction...

http://www.kermitage.com/html/characterindex/tms/character/fozzie.jpg

http://www.thebattlezone.com/decals/decalpix/d47nso.jpg

[Def Dave in SC]

How selfish. Now hes left pokey all alone to deal with the funeral planning.

The Montgomery County Mobster
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Much Love to my Homie dcpete

Its Like Having a Football Helmet Inside Your Head

[SuperClerk]

Just another case of a guy giving himself head and not living to talk about it.

Currently thinking of a new sig pic idea.

[Death Metal Moe]

That guy had balls!

Oh, and I think this guy covered most of the better "beheaded" jokes.

http://www.tynecine.org/assets/Austin-Powers.jpg

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[Death Metal Moe]

Oh, and searching for Austin Powers I found this:

http://www.myriadpictures.com/images/hurleypics/hurley15.jpg

Yum, yum, gimmie some!

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[GeneralCartmanLee]

he didnt even make it to the checkout? he shoulda had to pay for all that meat

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YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!!

[golfcourseguy]

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa (Reuters) - A South African man died trying to cut his own head off with a butcher's band saw in a...Checkers store in Richards Bay


I'm confussed,was he playing Black or Red ?


" editing posts since day one"

[TheMojoPin]

"It's 'GUMBY', not 'Gumbi', dammit!""

<img src=http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/patc/gumby/murphy3.jpg>

Are they sure that this guy wasn't actually one of the Blockheads?

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2% << December boys got it BAD. >> "You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Contra]

i just think its cool that there are shoprites in africa

Another Contra and LSP joint production
<img src=http://members.aol.com/tromatizedtodd/sigpics/contra1.gif>
The Fate Of Destruction Is Also The Joy Of Rebirth

[LiquidCourage]

They can now make a blaxploitation version of "Sleepy Hollow."

[GeneralCartmanLee]

i just think its cool that there are shoprites in africa

yeah that does seem odd...

<IMG src="http://jaih.optus.nu/img.php/generalsig.gif">
YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!!

[TheMojoPin]

Yeah, nevermind that until about 12 years ago, South Africa was so white it spawned Dave Matthews...

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2% << December boys got it BAD. >> "You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."