Help! Don't let me fail my drug test.

[Aggie]

So I just got a new job and knew there would be a drug test but I thought I'd have longer. It is a week from today and I smoke like a champ, so I could never clean my system out in time.

I've heard I can get some stuff at GNC that will work if I take it right before the test, but I would feel better if anyone had an experience with the stuff. So help me out, smokers!

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/aggieyellowsig.jpg">

[Heavy]

That Orange shit they have.

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[walking joint]

i used Puri-blend tea twice. it tastes terrible and you need to drink alot of it, but it worked both times. it gives the sample a little color also. if it's to clear they may want another one. i smoke like a champ also and if you have a week you should be fine(just don't smoke til then). i was real nervous so i also took some Golden Seal pills the first time. so if you are really nervous about it, you may want to use that also. good luck

[D-man762]

Just tell um u hada poppy seed bagel for breakfast.

When I'm walking, and I see an old lady trip and fall, I laugh. Then I think, what if I was an ant and she fell on me then it wouldn't seem so funny any more.

Jack handy,

[Lulu]

HA! I hope you fail! I write you that nice 'dope is for dopes' thread, and you learn NOTHING from it! i'm disgusted in you...

O&A had a segment about this a while back. You can order some things online, but I doubt they'll help. Just drink a lot of water. But it'll be your fault when you fail. You weak will powered little zilch.

<img src=http://silentspic.com/images/sighost/gothsig.jpg>

"Don't be afraid to be afraid of the norm."

[DreamWeaver]

I had this problem a year or so ago. Maybe this will help

oh yeah, and ask Bobby P. He knows his shit.

http://www.ronfez.net/messageboard/viewmessages.cfm?Forum=69&Topic=10091

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This message was edited by DreamWeaver on 1-29-03 @ 7:25 PM

[phixion]

drink vinegar itll clear out ut system like food poisoning......

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"smoking weed, smoking weed doing coke, drinking beers
drinking beers, beers, beersrolling fatties, smoking bluntswho smokes the blunts?we smoke the blunts." -Jay

[TooCute]

Well, the chairman or else I
am sure he'd be answering.
but since he's gone, I will
tell you what I have learned
from him - and he knows
what he is talking about
because he works at a
rehab center that routinely
does drug tests and has
talked a ton with the woman
that does the drug testing
there about this.

Those things you buy like
goldenseal extract and
whatever whatever - none of
them are going to work.
When they test for drugs,
they test for those
substances as well, and
you will fail because they
will show up in your pee.
Similarly, drinking a lot of
water will not help because
your urine will be too dilute
and you will fail because it
is too dilute.

Since marijuana is stored
in fat, you can try exercising
a ton, but the risk you run
with your test being so
close is that you will
increase the chances of
failing the test, as as you
burn the fat, you will actually
increase the levels of
marijuana that you are
peeing out.

Your best bet is to
somehow delay the test,
and just stop smoking until
you take it. Of course, that is
risky and will raise a red
flag, but at least you will be
less likely to fail.

Nothing you can do at this
point will guarantee that you
will not fail. Sorry!


<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
ADF makes great sigpics!

[Sungod]

I work in the field guys... drug testing that is. I know.. the enemy of what I once was, but whatever. Dont believe everything you hear. Those teas DO work, but you need to stop smoking ASAP!!!!! The day of the test drink as much water as you can before you puke before you go. It will dilute the specimen enough to get you under. Most places are not looking for the presence of, but for it to be over a certain level (usually low, but its some room to work with). The teas though, they do throw off the specific gravity and creatinine levels of the urine which could canel the test and they could make you go back for an observered test. It really depends what kind of company it is and what their drug testing policy is. DO NOT bring in someone else urine... they take the Temperature when you take it and if its cold they WILL make you resubmit right there under observation. Just some FYI for ya.... <P>

[Aggie]

Thanks everyone (except lulu :p ) I'll have to talk to Pants.

And thanks for the warning sungod. I was thinking of getting someone else's pee. And do you know if a prescription drug like dexadrine would show up? I take it for ADD but it's a controlled substance and basically speed.

As of right now I'm done smoking until my test and I'm gonna drink water til I'm sick.

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/aggieyellowsig.jpg">

[furie]

I just fired a guy for this. We take hair samples & urine analysis. If they take a hair sample you're done.

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<font size=3><b><font color=green>Furie</b></font>
</font><br>

[Contra]

WOW, thats one mad sister. if there is a catfight, can you please tape it?

Another Contra and LSP joint production
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"...the angels will destroy us all!"

[Mxyzptlk]

A friend of mine was a pot smoking fiend in college. He had to pass a test with two days notice. He was able to pass the test after drinking a bottle of goldenseal. If he can pass, anyone can.


<a href="http://www.testnegative.com/">Also try this site</a>


<IMG SRC="http://209.15.12.10/Trailer/images/franko004.jpg" width="300" height="100">

[Lulu]

WOW, thats one mad sister. if there is a catfight, can you please tape it?that's not necessary. we all ready know the out come. aggie would get her wigger cunt ass handed to her.

<img src=http://silentspic.com/images/sighost/gothsig.jpg>

"Don't be afraid to be afraid of the norm."

This message was edited by Lulu on 1-29-03 @ 7:55 PM

[Death Metal Moe]

Don't let me fail my drug test.

Don't smoke so much weed.

Seriously. I've heard stories about people failing tests on about ALL those system cleaning drugs and home made remedies.

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[TheGameHHH]

I think your absolute best chance in passing this test is to get someone else's pee. If they don't smoke pot you are guarenteed to pass this test. Alongside that, do exactly what youre doing right now, stop smoking pot and drink water till you puke hopefully you will pass, I'm rooting for ya!

<img src= http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/hhh.gif>
Thanks ADF

[A.J.]

Write an apology and read it to the person interviewing you. Be sure to claim that your addiction to weed is a disease. :)

Seriously, good luck with the job.

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A Skidmark production.

[JiZ]

I used to have the same problem. I used to smoke weed and use coke. The thing that worked best for me was....I quit. You should give that a try. I find that NOT drinking ANY alcohol or doing ANY drugs helps you pass the test. It also help me build new relationships with my family and friends. I also enjoy going to places like Bar9 and watching people fall into other people due to having too much to drink. My favorite is when I use the bathroom and have to wait because people are too busy checking their nose after doing a few lines.

Please excuse the name...My Brooklynlivecam username seems to have been killed

[Patches]

If you are not a habitual smoker, its out of your system in 3-5 days naturally. If you are, it could take as much as six months.

I've heard of the vinegar working, but it is the most disgusting thing you could ever drink.

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<b>Osama Bin Laden, you can kiss my royal Irish ass! And I live in Rockaway. And this is my face, bitch!
-FF Mike Moran</b>

[LampshadeOnHead]

3 to 5 days? I heard it stays
with you and will show up in
a test MONTHS later.
anyone know more about
how long you need to wait
before you can pass the
test without trying to cheet? I
smoke the stuff only two or
three times a year and I
always wonder what my
urin would tell them. Not
that my urin can talk.
hmmmbut if it could talk I
wonder......hm. would it
have an English acent ya
think? I like to think it would.


Top of the world, Ma!

[oneill21]

The shit stays in your system for at least 45 days. I have had to pass 2 drug test, and so far I am batting 1.000. The first time I drank about 5 gallons of water, and took about a half a bottle of Golden seal pills, then drank a little vinager (not suggested). The second time wasn't so bad, I went to GNC and bought a bottle of GHF. My friend who was getting regular drug test at the county court also used this and was pretty successful, I would suggest using that, but be sure to be clean for at least 48 hours. Good Luck. Peace!

[DJEvelEd]

If they watch you give the sample, you need to take drastic measures. Some athletes have injected clean samples directly into their bladder. Or say you have bad diarreah and take a dump while you give the sample. If they can stand being in a room with you for that, they deserve it. What a fun job some people have.

>>Big Bird is Ferrall's bitch<<

[Abrasive Dean]

Please excuse the ignorance of a recent immigrant to this country but what sort of jobs do they routinely make you take a drug test for? Judging by the responses here it is done quite frequently. I assume these are the sort of positions where your judgement cannot be impaired in order to perform your job.

I come from England where routine drug abuse is far less common and as such very few employers require routine drug testing.

Best of luck by the way!

<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/deanmcg/sig/cam.jpg">

[Knowledged_one]

Aggie let me tell you the truth:
I work as an engineer, i used this detox drink that tasted like green apples 3 hours before the test and drank plenty of water, but you need to stop for at least a week, or tell them you got in a car accident and need to delay your start time by a week or you need to stay in N.Y. another week just something for the extra time. But drink plenty of water one other thing to do is to take vitamin B-complex something in it will add color to the urine to not make it clear. One more note dont let the test be your first time in the bathroom of the day, try to get the test for midday

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Grey Goose and a whole lotta hydro

[TooCute]

Nobody cares how clear or
yellow your urine is. It's the
specific gravity. Eating a lot
of carrots so that you have
nice yellow pee makes no
difference what so ever.

What I don't understand is
all you people work in jobs
where you know that you're
going to have drug tests. If
you know that you are going
to be tested, what is wrong
with you that you can't stop
smoking? People who
whine about this drive me
nuts, and I hope you all fail.
If you don't want to have to
stop, don't take a job where
you have to. It's that easy.


<img src=http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/toocute2.gif>
ADF makes great sigpics!

[TheMojoPin]

I come from England where routine drug abuse is far less common and as such very few employers require routine drug testing.

Dean's right...the only drug test I took was for a crappy job at Sears Hardware years ago...I've never had to take one since then, not even for the various federal jobs I held...

Guess Aggie's gonna be shaking those paint cans...

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VP #2 for the Coalition of Angry Micks, and the best goddamn American ever.
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Tazz]

I agree with Too Cute. If you know you are going to be looking for a new job; and didn't know for absolute certainty that they wouldn't be doing a drug test, why would you continue to smoke? It's just common sense to stop.

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Thanks J.R.
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[ChrisTheCop]

aggie would get her wigger cunt ass handed to her.


Lulu has now become my favorite.

<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/ronfez_cartoon--christhecop.gif">INFINITY BLOWS

[Aggie]

aggie would get her wigger cunt ass handed to her.

i'll just let you keep on believing that. i don't want to hurt my own sister.


And let me say in my own defense, I have no problem stopping smoking. It's gonna be hard but I'm doing it. This job kind of popped up and I didn't have much time before I found this out. A lot of jobs don't drug test and I thought I would have adequate time to stop if I had to take a test.

If I fail, that's life. I was just asking for some advice of people who have gone through it.

<IMG SRC="http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/aggieyellowsig.jpg">

[Alice S. Fuzzybutt]

I was drug tested only once (for a publishing company). The funny thing is, most of the friends that I made at that company did the most drugs of anyone I ever hung out with!

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thank you dcpete!

I'm a big wheel down at the cracker factory.

[TheMojoPin]

The one drug test I took was a last-minute suprise, I had just smoked less than a week before, and all I thought to do was drink a good 20-30 glasses of water in the two days before the test. Got the job, nothing was said, so who knows?

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VP #2 for the Coalition of Angry Micks, and the best goddamn American ever.
"You can tell some lies about the good times you've had/But I've kissed your mother twice and now I'm working on your dad..."

[Orallo]

Dean, as you might be discovering by now, "The land of the free" its just a slogan...

In this country they can take piss tests of anybody they want, for all sorts of jobs from store clerks to drivers to engineers and everything in between.

Many years ago I went to interview for an engineering position at motorola, I passed the first round of tests/interviews and then at the second round they asked me for a piss test and I told them that as a matter of principles I would never take one... I got a very polite letter declining my services... I was disapointed because it was an exciting project (iridium) but I will never piss on a cup for my employer.

Fuck that!

Peace & Hugs,

P.S.
I dont even smoke pot, I toke maybe twice a year, if that!


<IMG SRC="http://www.talktime.com/i/SIGPIC3.jpg">

[SatCam]

My friend who was getting regular drug test at the county court also used this and was pretty successfulTell your friend to play it safe. If they're god dammed getting them regularly, cant they take a hint? Plus, if your drinking gallons of water, cant you overhydrate yourself?

Reminds me of the time I was in the a/v club and we were in the art wing at 10 at night when we smelled pot. Them art teachers!

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[VioletHorizon3]

Golden Seal from GNC...also, if you can smuggle in a match, dissolve the head in the pee....the sulfur eliminates the drug (thats from my brother in law the truck driver)

[DJEvelEd]

If you are pulled over by the police, you CAN refuse a urine test. You can't refuse a breathalyzer. I learned this the HARD way. I'm going through some legal trouble now because I took a urine test for a cop and he gave me a DWI because pot was in my urine. Needless to say I'm fighting this. I was totally straight and blew a 0.0 into the breathalyzer. Drug war hysteria is part of Americana. Good luck...

>>Big Bird is Ferrall's bitch<<

[kc7586]

tell them it's for medicinal purposes. they can't prove shit, can they?

I am woman hear me roar, bitch, and whine.

[lippy]

The solution is simple and does not require a lot of money. I had the same problem and then someone let me in on a little secret. Dip a penny in your urine and it somehow offsets the smoke. It really works.

[ToddEVF]

Nothing you can do at this
point will guarantee that you
will not fail. Sorry!


I don't know if its been said yet, but. . . this is disgusting and all but, use someone elses urine, someone whose clean

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