Michael Jackson on Crutches. Why? You'll have to read it to believe it. [Archive]

View Full Version : Michael Jackson on Crutches. Why? You'll have to read it to believe it.

PanterA

12-03-2002, 10:09 PM

I'm just in shock.

This man is getting crazier and crazier.

http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?type=entertainmentNews&storyID=1845374

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The Chairman

12-03-2002, 10:18 PM

This will cause him to mutate into a freak Superhero "Jacko Wacko Man." He will be able to shoot webs out of his glove and ensnare small children to take back to his Neverland Ranch to suck their juices.

His evil nemesis will be the "mean, racist, very, very, very devilish" Sony Music Chairman Tommy Mottola, who mutates into the "Green Record Executive Goombah-blin."

Look for the movie next year starring Ray Liotta as Tommy Mottola, Haley Joel Osment as Haley Joel Watson (replacing Kirsten Dunst as the love interest), the Vienna Boys Choir, and Bubbles the Chimp as "himself."

Michael Jackson will be CGI. The folks at Pixar are currently in pre-production working on a state of the art "Robo" nose that can morph into various weapons or be used as Silly Putty to entice young children.

<img src = http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/kaga.gif>
thanks ADF for the SigPic!!
I'll take that Chesterfield now...

This message was edited by Chairman_Kaga on 12-4-02 @ 2:49 AM

fluffernutter

12-03-2002, 10:36 PM

So I guess we can expect more wacky (elbow elbow) photos to add to the collection. I still don't believe it that such a talented human being has gone to a complete waste. It is gonna be really enjoyable to see his entire face collapse soon.

RETIRED

Heavy

12-03-2002, 10:50 PM

Jackson, 44, wearing pink lipstick and rouged cheeks, later got playful

That says so much in itself

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Fallon

12-03-2002, 11:25 PM

Lets play the Michael Jackson photo caption game!

<IMG SRC="http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/nm/20021203/mdf161492.jpg">
Michael, using your hands please tell us how many children you molested today.

More Wacko Jacko pics to choose from: http://search.news.yahoo.com/search/news?c=news_photos&p=michael+jackson

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PanterA

12-04-2002, 12:17 PM

<img src="http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20021204/i/1038985342.4094132332.jpg">

Michael Jackson plays hide and seek with a young boy. Lets all hope the boy found a good hiding spot!

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ChickenHawk

12-04-2002, 12:39 PM

"It is a spider bite. It
is real bad. If I showed it to
you, you'd be shocked. It
hurts very much right now
as I speak."
SSUURRE it was, Michael...
sure it was...
And look, there goes
Spider-Man now! Better go
catch 'em!

jeez... another kid bites his
toe to get away and that's
the best excuse he could
come up with?

<IMG SRC="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/chickenhawk.jpg">

"And I think a guy's dropping mud on 12, so don't look up." -Ron

DC Reed

12-04-2002, 12:43 PM

That face scares the shit outta me, he looks like some plastic Barbie Child Rapist edition. Im still pondering if hes spent more money on his face than he has a car.

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PanterA

12-04-2002, 12:46 PM

I think he's spent more money on his nose alone then on a car.

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ToddEVF

12-04-2002, 12:46 PM

<img src=http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20021204/capt.1038964735.jackson_lawsuit_jmb117.jpg>
He shows the court how many hours it took to get those kids.

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Contra

12-04-2002, 12:53 PM

damn scary, a superhero jakco. just imagine him lowering himself upside down on his web right outside your window! uuuuuhhhuh i just got a chill.

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fatty

12-04-2002, 02:18 PM

jesus christ was a fuckign lunatic. ha ha ha with the jokes, this guy is the most bizarre person on earth.

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Mr Self Destruct

12-04-2002, 02:53 PM

Michael Jackson on Crutches. Why? You'll have to read it to believe it.

I read it and I still don't believe it.

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Reephdweller

12-04-2002, 03:32 PM

when was the last time a spider bite put anyone in crutches?

what a sicko fucko jacko!

<IMG SRC="http://www.osirusonline.com/reefdw03.jpg">

ChrisTheCop

12-04-2002, 03:33 PM

edited due to a deal with the devil
<img src="http://rfcop.50megs.com/images/rudolph_sigpic.gif">

This message was edited by ChrisTheCop on 12-4-02 @ 9:05 PM

The Chairman

12-04-2002, 04:05 PM

when was the last time a spider bite put anyone in crutches?

what a sicko fucko jacko!

Well some spider bites can kill you (Black Widow, Brown Recluse, Funnel Webs from Australia), too bad those didn't get to him and put him (and us) of misery..

<img src = http://thereisnogod.faithweb.com/images/kaga.gif>
thanks ADF for the SigPic!!
I'll take that Chesterfield now...

Devils Advocate

12-04-2002, 07:41 PM

And how the hell did he get bitten by a spider while his house was being fumigated? Um, did the spiders get pissed off that he was gassing them and decide to exact revenge before they died? Does this nutcase like to fumigate for spiders barefoot? <P>
God - does anyone else remember when he was semi-normal before he turned white, started all the plastic surgery and totally lost his mind? <P>

****************************
"When an officer loses command, that officer is also lost. When that command remains, no matter what happens to its officer, he has not failed" - Final Blackout

The Jays

12-04-2002, 07:45 PM

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/nm/20021203/mdf161492.jpg <P>
'...And then I told him to stroke it so that my "flesh rocket" wouldm launch...'

<font color="blue" face="Trebuchet MS" size=-2> F--- what you heard.</font>
<font color="blue" face="Trebuchet MS" size=-2> That cab has a dent in it.</font> [center]
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This message was edited by TheJays on 12-4-02 @ 11:48 PM

The Jays

12-04-2002, 07:48 PM

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20021205/capt.1039052589.jackson_lawsuit_jmb113.jpg
Michael Jackson eats a piece of candy, all the while hoping that no one saw him drop it on the floor.

<font color="blue" face="Trebuchet MS" size=-2> F--- what you heard.</font>
<font color="blue" face="Trebuchet MS" size=-2> That cab has a dent in it.</font> [center]
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The Jays

12-04-2002, 07:53 PM

http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20021120/capt.1037815978.germany_jackson_ber112.jpg
"... that's right, TWO.... at the same time...... YEAAAAAH!"

<font color="blue" face="Trebuchet MS" size=-2> F--- what you heard.</font>
<font color="blue" face="Trebuchet MS" size=-2> That cab has a dent in it.</font> [center]
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Fallon

12-04-2002, 08:56 PM

<b>GAME:</b> Catch Michael Jackson's Kids!"
http://www.madblast.com/view.cfm?type=FunFlash&display=1804

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jocefus

12-04-2002, 09:19 PM

its not a spider bite..its a little boy bite. only way the scared little youngster could get away from the clutches of the evil kid toucher

http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/joesig.jpg

I BLOW FARTS KISS MY ASS

Bob Impact

12-04-2002, 09:27 PM

jesus christ was a fuckign lunatic.

Come on, he had some strange ideas, but i wouldn't use the word lunatic.

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PanterA

12-04-2002, 09:45 PM

<img src="http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20021120/i/1037804535.2751701086.jpg">

Michael Jackson attempts to recreate this famous Jackie O JFK jr photo, but mistakenly put the vail over the children, and later is seen salooting a plastic bag that is caught in the wind on a light post.

<img src="http://www.capecodonline.com/cctimes/archives/1998/jan98/1_2_98/images/jfk2.jpg">

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Mr Self Destruct

12-05-2002, 07:10 AM

Quote:
jesus christ was a fuckign lunatic.

Come on, he had some strange ideas, but i wouldn't use the word lunatic.

I think he meant "jesus christ, what a fucking lunatic" in reference to wack o jacko.

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Michael Fury

12-05-2002, 07:13 AM

I think Bubbles the chimp drank some Lysol & turned on him.

Next time it could be me on the scaffolding.

JerseyRich

12-05-2002, 10:09 AM

<img src=http://www.usatoday.com/life/music/_photos/2001-09-10-inside-michael-jackson.jpg>
Michael stares at Liz Taylor's wig and contemplates his next "style change"

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/holidaysig.gif>
I'd like an order of UH UH!With a side of some UH UH!

SoccerMom

12-05-2002, 10:41 AM

My God, his hand are paler than mine.... and I was born a white girl.

PanterA

12-05-2002, 06:56 PM

Secret Santa....oh secret santa...Please if there ever was a God, please oh please get me this! :

<img src="http://www.users.cloud9.net/~bradmcc/jpg/MichaelAndMonkey_2.jpg">

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This message was edited by PanterA on 12-5-02 @ 11:32 PM

kc7586

12-07-2002, 08:53 AM

i think he's spent more money on his nose alone than on a car
probaly, i mean who else can actually take off their nose when they get tired of it?
he might just be starting the newest fashion trend, detachable facial features-mix'n'match all you want!

Dewey

12-07-2002, 07:42 PM

I think Mr. Potato-Head beat him to it.

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