Getting over, moving on, and both...

[FollowThisLogic]

A lot of this will be a vent, so bear with me.

Okay, so I'm kinda fucked up. Surprise surprise. Anyway, earlier this year, I was in love. In love like I've never been before. So true, so deep, so amazing. It was incredible. I don't think I've ever been so happy, or so in love, and I'm not even sure that I ever can again.

But of course, it ended, because if it hadn't, I wouldn't be writing this. Why? I fucked up, and she was unsure of it all, not sure why it had to go down, but it did. Ended at the end of July.

A few weeks ago, as I was finally starting to get over her, it was finally not hurting so much, I met someone. Great, right? Eh. It got off to a weird start - we went way too fast, but caught it in time and backed it off. I posted about that - all of you who told me to slow down, thanks, you were right, I just had to come to it on my own terms.

Anyway, that's the backstory, now on to the issue. I really like this new girl. When I'm with her, everything is great, I feel perfect. But when I'm not with her, problems occur. Not problems with her, just inside me. My miss my old girlfriend. I still love her. I can't let go, I still wish I could somehow make it good again - even though I know she has someone new, and I'm sure that, even though she'll never actually come out and tell me, she loves him more than she ever could or ever did love me. And what's worse on my heart, I know the guy, and am friends with him. That means I'm able to picture them together in my head, which only makes the pain worse. If it was just some random guy, it's ostrich syndrome... if you don't see it, it isn't there.

So anyway, it's very weird. I don't think the new girl is a rebound - I know how rebounds work. I'd force myself to be so infatuated with the new girl that I wouldn't think about the old one. That isn't the case here. Like I said, when I'm with her it's spectacular, and when I'm not, my mind eventually wanders to the one that got away.

I'm not really asking for advice, cause this isn't something you can talk someone through... getting over her is just something that I have to deal with... it will take lots of time, and honestly I'll probably never be COMPLETELY over her. But any stories of similar experiences would be appreciated...

Sorry for the novel.

<center><b><img src="http://followthislogic.50megs.com/ftl-kitty.gif" alt="Please don't let the kittens die."></b><br>Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.</center>

[IrishAlkey]

Sabotage a website.

It'll work wonders...

http://
img2.ranchoweb.com/
images/irishalkey/
rfnettatsig.jpg[/
center]
[center]<font color=
"red">HOMELESS!!!</
font>
<marquee><font size=4
color=green>Drunk ass
Mick nigga', coalatin', beer
drinkin', potatoe makin',
cabbage cookin', good
lookin', ya feel me?</
font></marquee>

[NurseMira]

FTL,

Just think about why you miss her so much. Is it because you feel guilty because of how you 'fucked up' that your guilt is making you feel like you still love her? Or was everything that perfect? There is a reason for 'fuck ups'...whatever they are.

Was she perfect? Was there nothing wrong with her?

Give yourself some time to think about things. Don't go back to her just to make up for what you have done. Then you'll be pissed off at yourself. Just take a second to think about things.

<IMG SRC="http://www.carisi.com/miragif.gif">
thank you for the sig, mindtank

Never forget what they did to you but never let them know that you remember

[fatty]

rent swingers for the love of christ!

and man, we've all been there. it took me years to get over my first love, and even when i started getting with the beautiful girl i'm with now i couldn't help but think about things with my lost love.

it sucked, because i really liked this girl and i hated that my past bullshit (over 3 years had past) was holding my back from loving this new girl.

but after awhile you stop comparing, because there's nothing to compare. i almost never think about my first love anymore and if i do it's not because i miss her or anything or want to be with her.

it hurts budday, but just take it slow and give it a chance. you'll have your good days and bad days but eventually you'll realize how great this new girl is and get over it.

there's nothing i can tell you to help short term (except the movie swingers), it's going to hurt no matter what. all i can tell you is that time does heal everything, and the fact that you have a girl you like puts you in the right direction.

you'll be straight budday, don't even sweat it.

<IMG SRC=http://www.silentspic.com/images/sighost/notorioussig.jpg>
<marquee>Fatty Fatty Fatty, can't you see? Sometimes your posts just hypnotize me. And I just love your Fatty ways, guess that's why they're broke and you're so paid.</marquee>
Aggie's straight up money
SilentSpic.com

[AngelAmy]

i think you will hear this from just about any person you talk to about this but im going to say it anyway because i have nothing else to add to what everyone else has said.

sometimes it takes a longer time to get over someone than others. you just have to wait it out. i wish it was easier than that but its not. we have all been through something like this at least once in our lifetime. it sucks but there really is nothing you can do about it. look at it this way...you always got me :D

<center>"The powers have overtaken her pelvis as well" - Jedi Master Doogie
C*U*N*T
http://wnewsgirl.homestead.com/files/angelamysig.gif
</center><marquee>FOUNDING MEMBER OF RF.NET JEDI COUNCIL/FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE DC REED IS SENDING US TO JAIL CLUB/SECRETARY OF BANG/RF.NET UNION LEADER/PRESIDENT OF THE IRISH DIET SODA BREAD FAN CLUB/HEAD OF THE FEZ HAT CULT/FOUNDER OF THE PANTERA FAN CLUB/PASTY WHITE SKIN POWER/MIKEY D's #1 FAN GE GE GE/1/3 OF WHAA/CO-STAR OF TOOKIE TOUR 2002</marquee>

[Abrasive Dean]

You have recieved good advice
fromall of the above.

What can I add? Well a couple of
things:

I still remember myfirst "true love"
like it was yesterday even though
20 years have passed.

I remember and always with a
smile the most unwelcome and
innappropriate advice I recieved
from my (then) Commanding
Officer. "In a few years, son, you
will wonder what on earth you
ever saw in the girl"

You know what? I realise now
what utter crap he was talking!!
But the useless advice still
makes me smile.

I am er... "in mid life" (crisis past)
and I barely know now any more
about women than I did then.

However without even looking
whilst over working here (NYC)
from London I met the woman
who became my wife.

Trust me one day, possibly when
you least expect it you will find
"the one".

Hang in there!


<img src="http://homepage.mac.com/deanmcg/sig/sig.jpg">

[Gmann]

everyone gave ya some good advice dude....all you can really do is suck it up mostly and deal with it. You can do that...and also do what I do...crack open some Heneikens and drown your sorrows bud.

FEAR....FEAR attracts the fearful....the strong, the weak, the innocent, the corrupt.....FEAR....FEAR is my ally!!!

[FollowThisLogic]

rent swingers for the love of christ!
I own it! <img src="http://followthislogic.50megs.com/emoticons/biggrin.gif"> So you want me to quit talking about puppy dogs and ice cream? Heh.

Sabotage a website.

It'll work wonders...
I knew it, Alkey hates me... :(

Don't go back to her just to make up for what you have done.
Well Mira, no matter how badly I might want to, I couldn't go back to her... she's with someone else now, and more in love with him than she ever was with me. I've been wishing her nothing but the best, I just want her to be happy... but it still makes me uncomfortable.

<center><b><img src="http://followthislogic.50megs.com/ftl-kitty.gif" alt="Please don't let the kittens die."></b><br>Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.</center>

[Hardcore Paul]

FTL, buddy...
I feel you man. I just lost the love of my life and I feel like nothing matters anymore. Even If a new girl came along I would never be able to love her like i did my past love. I will die for her, and will always think the world of her and I pray like hell everyday that I could just hear from her. Anyway, man what i wanted to say in response is that If my friend was going with my ex and she loved him way more than me, I would probably go certifiably insane. I couldnt possibly be friends with a person anymore if the guy picked up my girl on the rebound. I'd break every bone in his body. One thing that really really scares me is finding out if my ex has totally forgotten about me and is in complete love with another person.

NJ Hardcore 732 (Hooo-Raah!)

[FollowThisLogic]

Well, it wasn't a rebound really. I'm fairly convinced that she was over me at the moment she dumped me, perhaps even before she dumped me, as she knew she'd be doing it, and it was for good. They had never even talked before we broke up, not until about a month after.

I guess I should explain by saying that these are online people - I met her, I met him, she met him, all through message boards (not this one). That clarifies how they never really talked before and stuff.

Certifiably insane? Been there, done that. Still do it, on occasion. When I see them being cute together in a chat room, or on the board, it feels like my heart is - yet again - being torn out of my chest and repeatedly stomped on. Why? Simple. He means the world to her. She means the world to him. But it used to be that way with her and me. So to see it with someone else.... christ I can't even think about it right now, as I type this, without feeling somewhat queasy.

To know that I was so easily forgotten also does not help. I guess I wasn't that special after all - or at least that's how I feel.

Kick his ass, huh? That would be too easy. Not that it'd be easy to kick his ass, but it would be easy to hate him, and to hate her. But I value his friendship entirely too much for that, and as for her, I'm hoping that if the day should ever come when I can finally be over her, she will still like to be a close friend to me.

Will that day ever come? Will I ever get over her? Honestly, I'm almost sure that the answer is no. I've had the best, I've had the ultimate, everything I ever wanted.... everything, everyONE else will just be lacking something. Anyone I'm with in the future, I will compare to her, but no one could ever stand up.

And I can hear (and have heard) the pep-talks now... "oh you'll get over her", "it just takes time", "you'll find someone better"... blah blah blah. This is different. And the reason it's different - I'm pretty damn good at pushing myself into an infatuation to get over someone I've lost. On more than one occasion, I've tricked myself into falling completely in love to help me get over the last one. BUT - I'm with someone new now. And no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I can't fall for her as completely as I'd like. And when I'm not talking to her, or with her, my mind tends to wander to the ex, causing all sorts of feelings spilling all over, like in this thread. I can't make myself get over her, and that's why I don't think I will.

I wish the best for them, I really do. They make each other happier than they've ever been before. But the happiness that she makes him feel - she made me feel. And I will never feel it again. And I never made her feel half as happy as he makes her.

The true fucking tragedy that my life. I'm pretty pathetic - I just hope I don't get the kind of bad rep that Toddevf has for such things... :)

I also hope that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, rather than finding that it was permanently extinguished.

<center><b><img src="http://followthislogic.50megs.com/ftl-bobrossrf.gif" alt="Don't you love my happy little sig pic?"></b><br>Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love.</center>

[GonzoStyle]

I'm sorry, yes he values your friendship a lot and no it wouldn't be easy to kick his ass.

I'm always here for you brother.

I'm pretty pathetic


Nah.

<img src="http://members.aol.com/OApoll/rfsig.jpg">
I'll stick a knife in your wind pipe, slow like.


This message was edited by GonzoStyle on 10-22-02 @ 10:23 AM