3 levels of sex

[Hawiian shirt craig]

i belive there are three levels of sex (apply for both
sexes)

FUCKING... the most basic human crotch lust.
this is where yo udont even look at your partners
face and just rub ur no no stop as hard and furious
as you can to cum your brains out and ask
questions later!
SEX... this is where you have affection for your
partner on a semi romantic level and are concerned
with them enjoying them selves but when the time
"cums" you grit your teeth, get chinese eyes and
drill away, like george bush looking for oil, and
ignore the otehr person's existance again
MAKING LOVE... the most satisfying level. this is
where you love the person you are with (or animal
in the case of some of our more senior members)
the whole experience is about the other person's
enjoyment and yours only comes from their
pleasure. a truely intamate experiance usaully
market with the elusive same time orgasim.


am i right or am i right or am i right? or am i
right?


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HSC.gif">

[nortonfan]

this man is right!

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Thanks to anthony for this awsome sig!
<a href="http://www.nortonfan.com">
<b>Jim Norton Fan Site</a>
<a href="http://jimnortonfan.proboards11.com/">Jim Norton Fans Messageboard</a>
</b>

[fiestygal]

i would like to experience the last 2....i dont think i am a FUCKING kind of person....

<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/fiestygal.jpg">
this pic is thanx to E2R..I'll get off my SOAP BOX now!...
I am a goofball & swell to boot

[sourkitty]

i think ur rite :)

<img src="http://members.aol.com/fajita4me/images/kitty.jpg" height=118 width=211>
~*~Life always comes down to one thing, the PUSSY!~*~

[GonzoStyle]

I hope to acomplish one of those levels some day, then I will be uber cool. <P>

[Earth2RON]

4)anal sex

Fiestygal, you need to loosen up a lil shorty:)

**Irish Faction 4Life**Will give oral favors for convo
<img src="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/earthbond.jpg">
"E2R,Doesn't realize he's already my Ho"**Gaia**
**official member of the Tookie fan club**

[GonzoStyle]

I thought anal was a myth created by the porno industry. You mean women actually take it in the doodie chamber?

Kids do it but only cause they are easy, just tell em the boogeyman will get them. How do you get adult women to fall for this devilish deed?

<img src="http://members.aol.com/OApoll/rfsig.jpg">

[DarkHippie]

1)straight
2)bi
3)gay
or
1)vag
2)oral
3)anal
the holy trinity of naughtyness seems to be in effect

<IMG SRC=http://czmachine.50megs.com/images/dhsig1.gif>

this sig is the masterpiece of the cheesy one
<i>LABELS ARE FOR PRODUCTS, NOT PEOPLE!
</i>

<a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Transcendental Blues: a journal</a>

[Pootertoot]

Now I have to try and remember which level I parked my car on.

<center><embed src="http://www.geocities.com/slfcallednowhere/mario2.swf" width=300 height=100><br>
Take a Chance, Take a Chance
</center>

[Cybersoldier]

I thought there were four levels - the fourth level drunken sex..It does matter race,personality or weight. At the end of the night the both of are in bed

<IMG SRC="http://cybersoldier.iwarp.com/images/cyber.jpg">
thanks earth2ron

[cozmokramer]

Your pretty accurate , is there 3 steps to JO-ing?

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<marquee width="80%" loop="Infinite" behavior="Scroll" direction="Left" scrollamount="6">THE NEXT BIG POSTER COZMOKRAMER!</marquee>
Im going to kill myself OR DIE TRYING!

[marj79]

gonzostyle - just tell tghe girl uve never done it and you just want to try it once - i've fallin for that one a few times

[Jennitalia]

or you can always use the ol' "oops...it slipped..." line. gets me every time :)

<IMG SRC="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/jensig.gif">

i long to be a rock star retard

[Hobbes]

Man...I would love to use that
"oopps...it slipped.." line on her.
Lucky guys...damn. But I'll agree
with the topic in general, but I'd
like to add "just friends sex."

[Hawiian shirt craig]

just freinds sex is fucking... possibly sex... just
happens to be with a freind.....

as far as the 'i've never tried it' line goes... lame.
you have to say, "i've done it b4, and it was
awesome for both of us, she showed me how to do
it right, so i dont hurt you." thats the best
way......


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HSC.gif">

[sourkitty]

"or you can always use the ol' "oops...it slipped..." line. gets me every time"




once a guy tried the oops it slipped and i freaked out on him...i stuck 3 fingers up his ass...im sure it will never "slip" again.... LO

<img src="http://members.aol.com/fajita4me/images/kitty.jpg" height=118 width=211>
~*~Life always comes down to one thing, the PUSSY!~*~

[erole]

the only anal i've seen has been of the retentive variety

i went to sex defcon 2. the crazy flucking is'nt happening as far as i can tell.

<IMG SRC="http://members.hometown.aol.com/iamerole/myhomepage/simonsig.jpg">
~Is there anyone sweeter than Aggie? I mean, really.

[3ggers]

The Game can have me any way he wants

I love the Game

[Gwen]

Craig, I think you completely nailed it (no pun intended) with your sentiments. Im impressed that a man could put so much coherent thought into sex & emotions (No, im not suprised that a man thought this much about sex in general though) =)

And as far as the anal: get her real liquored up or slip her some quaaludes, works like a charm...

<img src=http://robie.nine-zero.com:443/files/dynamitediva/birthdaysig.jpg><br>
<c><b>You are unique, like everyone else.</b></c>

[Hawiian shirt craig]

well then thankey much gwen. i didn't really put
ALL that much thougt into it, just sorta flowed. its a
chapter in my book "This is why we can't have nice
things" (tentative title) mostly about craigisms.
thats one of them. a lot of its going to be about
college and the wanton wastes of youth. mostly i've
learned a lot from people who said "if i knew what i
know now at your age...". as you can probly tell
from my posts. if is only so long, and level 1&2 are
nice but level 3 is where its at. thats what i want
anyway, had it and the bitch took it away. well she
thinks shes a princess, same
thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HSC.gif">

[F1Gm3nT]

And as far as the anal: get her real liquored up or slip her some quaaludes, works like a charm...

*writes down notes*
so when we chillin Gwen?

"Yesterday's just a memory, tomorrow is never what it's supposed to be." - Bob Dylan

<img src="http://my.purerave.com/gallery/p/91307.jpg" width="300" height="100>

[Hawiian shirt craig]

LUDES MAN FRICKEN LUUUUUDEESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HSC.gif">

[irishkb]

i would like to experience the last 2....i dont think i am a FUCKING kind of
person....

Only by FUCKING, can you really enjoy the other 2.. or atleast know the difference of all 3.. and chill fiesty, you might want to just fuck one day...

<IMG SRC=http://irishkb.50megs.com/images/e2r1.jpg>
thanks e2r...


"IM"-mick0306

[DarkHippie]

is there a boss at the end of each level? i'd hate to see who you have to beat to get to anal

<IMG SRC=http://czmachine.50megs.com/images/dhsig1.gif>
<marquee>Who is DarkHippie? "You look like an Amish child molester"-- Jim Norton. "Watch out for this one. Someday he's gonna snap and kill you all."-- Rich Vos </marquee>
<i>LABELS ARE FOR PRODUCTS, NOT PEOPLE!
</i><a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Transcendental Blues: a journal</a>

[Hawiian shirt craig]

u have to beat mouser from mario 2 (us version) to
get anal... hes tuff bombs and all........


-Hawiian Shirt Craig
THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

<img src="http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HSC.gif">

[rowanprofz]

i'll give it to irish on the whole fucking in order to appreciate the other two

a long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

me and a long term g'f broke up. i decided to go from overall nice guy to straight up pimp daddy / male whore.

after a while i was like, "what are we doing tonight Brain?" and the response was "the same thing we do everynight pinky, try to get laid with a girl!"

it was at that time i figured it might be good to try the whole steady relationship thing again.

i'm back talking to pinky because the unexpected is just more fun.

DAMN THE MAN! - Empire Records