Aggie
07-22-2002, 07:38 AM
One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, your are craving a philly sub and steak fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have
the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is
some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapp's shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed
watching reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced
teas and a diet Coke -- yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you
might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in
perpetual spasm, and the
first of about five shits you take during the day makes the eyes water of
everyone who enters
the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover, (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in
the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you
dizzy. You still have
toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an
attempt to get the
remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate
saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was
passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this
'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death
sounds pretty good
about right now....
HAHA! I don't think I've had the wonderful experience of a Five Star, but I've been very close...
<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/rfnetaggie12.jpg">
*WooHoo, I'm on the Reef!*
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, your are craving a philly sub and steak fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have
the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is
some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.
Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapp's shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed
watching reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced
teas and a diet Coke -- yet you haven't peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you
might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in
perpetual spasm, and the
first of about five shits you take during the day makes the eyes water of
everyone who enters
the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover, (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in
the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you
dizzy. You still have
toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an
attempt to get the
remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate
saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was
passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this
'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death
sounds pretty good
about right now....
HAHA! I don't think I've had the wonderful experience of a Five Star, but I've been very close...
<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/rfnetaggie12.jpg">
*WooHoo, I'm on the Reef!*