Friend Zone

[RF Godfather]

Well I want to make this short and sweet.

I know this lady friend of mine for over 3 years now and she has been one of the better friends that I can rely on for support. I never looked at her much more than just a good friend. Well, she has started dating this guy (I don't like this new cat) and all of a sudden I admittedly am getting extremely jealous cuz we can't spend the time like we used to. It never bothered me before but now it does. And I am beginning to like her beyond just the friend zone. You understand? I am bad at admitting stuff like this but I think you guys could help.

Should I tell her how I feel or should I just stick to the zone and say nothing (not to ruin the friendship and let it eat me up inside)? I'd love to hear some responses from the ladies mostly.

Thanks for the advice in advance.

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[Aggie]

Hmmm, this is a tough one. I think you need to find out if these are REAL feelings (I'm not saying you don't care about her) but like you said, you just started getting jealous AND you don't like the guy she's dating. That could be the problem right there.

For right now, I wouldn't say anything to her. She is dating someone and if she has no idea of your feelings, most likely she'll get weirded out if she doesn't feel the same way. If these feelings continue and she shows some sign of reciprocating them, then I would say to tell her. But out of the blue might not be a good way to tell her how you feel.

Just use your judgement and feel out the situation. I think deep down you will know what the right time to say something is. Also, examine the feelings you're having to make sure they are genuine. Good luck sweetie. IM me if you want :) (But I will be gone til next Wednesday)....Hope it works out for you!

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[Hosp]

You may be stuck in the friend zone forever and you should trust me because I own time share in the friend zone.

If you want to approach her though, I would tell her almost as a joke. Tell her that you've noticed that you have been thinking about her a lot more since you're spending less time together.

But just be prepared for the 3 responses of emasculation.

I don't want to ruin our friendship.
I don't think of you in that way.
You're like one of the girls and I like that we can talk like that.


Edit: How the fuck did you get 236 posts in one week? Maybe if you got out of the house sometime you wouldn't have to hit on your friends.

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This message was edited by Hosp on 6-20-02 @ 7:00 PM

[ADF]

Stick to the friend zone. Sometimes people are meant just to be friends, regardless of the participants' feelings. If she wanted to be going out with you, she would be.

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[Earth2RON]

I think you need to find out if these are REAL feelings
ditto......i say wait to if they get serious are not.if they dont get serious dont wait a minute pass with-out letting her know how u really feel about her.

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[RF Godfather]

Thanks guys for the help. I think I'll do what many of you said and stay under the radar in the friend zone. Don't want to fuck up a good thing.

Edit: How the fuck did you get 236 posts in one week? Maybe if you got out of the house sometime you wouldn't have to hit on your friends.
Hosp, its been a slow week. Before you joined here I had almost double that in a week. And why are you counting how many posts I have. Someone has too much time on their hands.

Get out of the house? I do... when I don't post. I have went out with a few ladies over the past few months but nothing special.

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[NewYorkDragons80]

First off, no good can come of you stepping between these 2. If you want to help her, drop subtle hints that he might not be right for her, but never be blunt.

I have been on this board for 10 months and I have a little over 500 posts. The Al Dukes Fan has been here less than a month and he's already 100 ahead of me.

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[wilee]

RFM-

Aggie has it right, you may be jealous that she's spending more time with her new boyfriend, which you may be misinterpreting as romatic feelings for her. Be sure that you know if you're feeling that you want to be a couple rather than just missing hanging out with her.

Give the boyfriend a chance- you don't have to be his best buddy, but get together with your friend and him, perhaps hit a club or something (double date?) and see if you warm up to him. I have a few female friends who I disliked their boyfriends at first, but later on relaxed a bit. There's still a couple I keep an eye on, and don't hesitate to point out their flaws.

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[phixion]

ive lived in the friend zone for about 3 years with a short lived 3 month reprieve
all i can say is leave it be
u can only fuk it up. by the by though u WILL always wonder but hey thats y god created herb.

"smoking weed, smoking weed
doing coke, drinking beers
drinking beers, beers, beers
rolling fatties, smoking blunts
who smokes the blunts?
we smoke the blunts."-
Jay

[legroommusic]

Tell her that you love her. Once she hears you say this, things will be really really awkward. Then giggle hysterically as she calls for the authorities. When they admit you into the hospital, they'll give you the proper medications to mend your broken heart.
I realize that you'll fall behind in posting, but you're 6000 posts will be there when you get back.

What's going on TV? I haven't watched anything for a while.

[Tazz]

Maybe if you didn't spend all your time on the computer, and went out and met people, you wouldn't have to lust after your friends. Not acting so freaky would probably help too.

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This message was edited by Tazz on 6-21-02 @ 11:44 AM

[JerseyRich]

Do what I do! Tell her that you know where she lives..and if she doesn't have sex with you, you will sit in a tree next to her window and spank it...then get that trusty 5 iron and bludgeon her...
Wait? that sounds familiar...

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This message was edited by JerseyRich on 6-21-02 @ 11:46 AM

[FMJeff]

it does sound familiar...wasn't that norton's joke?

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[RF Godfather]

Not acting so freaky would probably help too.
Could you elaborate there Jon?

Thanks everyone and I'll keep my distance and maybe the double date can work out.

Rich, that's an idea.

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[Tazz]

Could you elaborate there Jon?

Well, the creepy nicknames you have for some members have got to go. And "brotha" died about 5000 posts ago. It's also scary to be called by your real name on a message board. That's the point of the screenname. Its fine in real life, but just skeevy on the board. Just some constructive criticism.

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Thanks J.R.
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This message was edited by Tazz on 6-21-02 @ 7:24 PM

[erole]

meet the king of the friend zone. i'm the rod sterling of this zone.
Real quick, MUST find out if the feelings are genuine and then give those feelings time. If you are still into this woman, tell her. Tell her and make it plain, simple, and to the point. No games. Always add that you are her friend first and foremost, and that becuase you are her friend she is entitled to hear how you feel. As it would be the other way around. True friendship can handle lows, highs and uncomfortable situations. If you two are good friends like you said you two are, she can handle the information, know that you are genuine, and just simply accept it. It will make you feel better to say it - just make sure the feelings are real. Feelings are always good. It's how we handle our feelings, and what we do with them that defines how we are percieved and how we react. Good luck budday.

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[Jobberific]

Well, as the current mayor of the friendzone, I'd just like to say, enjoy your stay.

Heres my feelings on this. If you really do have feelings for this girl, not saying anything will eventually ruin things becuse it will just eat you up inside. To me, take the chance, if you are good enough friends, you will eventually get over it anyway.

Of course you may not want to take advice from you're arch nemesis.

AJW...All Jobber Wrestling...All jobbers, all the time.

[Jobberific]

Well, as the current mayor of the friendzone, I'd just like to say, enjoy your stay.

Heres my feelings on this. If you really do have feelings for this girl, not saying anything will eventually ruin things becuse it will just eat you up inside. To me, take the chance, if you are good enough friends, you will eventually get over it anyway.

Of course you may not want to take advice from you're arch nemesis.

AJW...All Jobber Wrestling...All jobbers, all the time.

[RF Godfather]

Alrighty Tazz, better?!? I'm working on it. Brotha's gone.

Creepy nicknames, I'm not sure about that one though.

But thanks for elaborating. I appreciate it.

Hey everyone a little update I setup a double date tonight with her and the other guy. I'll see how it goes.

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Kickin' it old school! YOINK!
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This message was edited by RonFez Mark on 6-22-02 @ 7:05 AM

[sexy bastard]

curse you friend zone curse you to hell
lol

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[Noellevious]

Not acting so freaky would probably help too.

Like you would know.

P.S....His real name ain't Mark.

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[RF Godfather]

Like you would know.

P.S....His real name ain't Mark.Noelle, Tazz in fact knows me so you don't need to defend me. He's cool with me. Thanks anyway.

----------------------------------

Oh yeah, I didn't post a follow up to this, sorry about that.

Well on our little double date I actually saw the guy in a different light. He was alot kinder than I thought when I first met him (being polite to me and my date, paying for everything, I really wanted to hate him with every ounce of my being). So I guess she is in good hands and I have to let go.

That's about it. She seems happy so I'll be happy for them. Not the ending I wanted and so.. the "Friend Zone" continues...

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Kickin' it old school! YOINK!
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This message was edited by RonFez Mark on 6-28-02 @ 9:09 AM