HELP! shes a freind but, you know...

[Hawiian shirt craig]

Hey guys, check this out. I have known this girl for
like 8 years, and we've been just freidns the whole
time. little did she know i really like her. the
problem being it always seemed like she needed a
freind to depend on more than a guy to hit on her...
so i took a step back. now we're both in college,
and she broke up with her ex of 1 1/2 yrs (aka fuck
head). so i want to go for it, but she lost almost all
of her freinds b/c of him. i am not sure to wait and
see, or ust go for it. i know i will lose her freindship,
which is more detromental to her than me as far as
help goes, if she shoots me down. i named a star
after her for her birthday in a couple days, is that
too much or does it send the message?


-Hawiian Shirt Craig

"You put some whiskey in the water, I'm gonna run off with your daughter, and if I make it to the border I'm gonna be allllll riiiiight."

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This message was edited by FoundryMusicJeff on 6-5-02 @ 10:22 AM

[Hoojibs]

I somewhat can say I know where you are coming from, I've never been friends with a girl that long. 8 years is a long time to be in the friend zone. She might actually see you as just a really good friend. This may sound a lil harsh but it's up to you, what do you really want from her? Do you really want to be with her, or are you happy just being her friend? If you think it's worth risking your friendship, then go for it. If not, then be her friend.

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[wilee]

Craig, after 8 years, you should handle this carefully. Since she broke up with her boyfriend recently, you should be a friend to her more than attempting to hook up. She is probably hating the guy, and if you move in too quick, especially if she doesn't really think of you romantically, you could draw some wrath upon yourself. I'd say you should take the high road right now, and give her some support.

Be there for her, and suggest going someplace to have fun to "get her mind off of 'Fuckhead'". Show her that you care, and when she's ready to go for another guy, you will know.

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[Hosp]

Craig, I think every guy has had at least one women friend like that. If he just broke up with her right before her birthday, she may be very vulnerable and emotional right now. If you want this to be a relationship of substance and not just be considered a"mistake at a moment of weakess", I would hold back on doing anything obvious. Just be there for her now, make comments on how it always bothered you to see how some of her boyfriends treated her(There is always something you can point out), and eventualy ask her out or why the two of you never went out. But be prepared to hear the three most emasculating sentences in the english language:

"You're too good a friend and I don't want to ruin what we have"
"I don't think of you in "that" way"
"You're like one of my girlfriends, I know I can always talk to you"


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[A.J.]

But be prepared to hear the three most emasculating sentences in the english language:

"You're too good a friend and I don't want to ruin what we have"

"I don't think of you in "that" way"

"You're like one of my girlfriends, I know I can always talk to you"


Ouch! Flashback(s)! ;)

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[FMJeff]

i named a star after her for her birthday in a couple days, is that too much or does it send the message?


Unless she's always wanted to be chief engineer of the star ship Enterprise...no.

(By the way, any chick who has, please let me know...Star Trek fans unite).





Jeff Shain
WebMaster
http://www.foundrymusic.com

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[SixPack]

she lost almost all of her freinds b/c of him


That tells you everything right there. There is almost no way anyone would risk losing there last few good friends for a relationship, especially since the one she was just in for a year and a half fell apart badly. At least wait awhile for her to recover and then see how its going.

[JimboSHU]

get her drunk and take it from there

WANTED: a show-related sig.

[Kooky]

How long is this after she broke up with him? Feelings from a 1 1/2 year relationship don't go away overnight, even if she was the one that broke up with him. She might not even want a boyfriend right now.

I would say just try to be supportive of what she needs from you. After a few months, I would tell her how you feel but that you don't expect anything in return. Also tell her you don't want your feelings to ruin any friendship between you two.

The last thing you want is to be a rebound boyfriend especially since you like her so much.

Don't jeopardize the friendship for some butt.

<hr>
I'm the kinda guy you're parents are urging you to find and bring home.

[Coco]

I wouldn't consider a relationship "ruined" or "finished" if someone expressed that they wanted more than friendship.

This has happened to me in the past where someone I knew professionally or as a friend, expressed they wanted a romantic relationship. I just said I wanted the relationship to remain a professional one or as friends and it just remained that way. The relationship was not considered "ruined".

But I would say, though, that if this girl was attracted to your romantically, she probably would have shown some sign of this in 8 years.

Hope things work out

We can't change our past, but we can change the way we look at it - into something more positive

[windowlck]

Craig, i'm really sorry to say this, But it's NOT GONNA HAPPEN......Once in the Friend Zone (especially 8yrs, w/o hooking up once) she will never see you as anything more....

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" You are the ones who are the ball-lickers"

[Jackie Sloan]

OH SNAP! guess what I saw? Some guy tongue kissin' my girl in da mouf...just a friend!

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Mucho Gracias, tu eres una Reina!
My baby fits me like flesh tuxedo...I like to sink her with my pink torpedo yeah!

[Poopsyc]

Dating a friend is a sticky situation, especially after being friends for so long and her not being available until recent. My best advice would be to do nothing. If it's going to happen, it will happen. If she's not over her ex, I wouldn't even try it. She vulnerable and lonely and if it she goes for it, it will most likely be for the wrong reasons. No body wants to be a rebound and that's not what you're looking to be. Rebound relationships never end pretty but they always end. Not only that, you'd be losing a friend.

Good luck to you and I hope everything works out for the best.

Love and Peace to one and all.

This message was edited by Poopsyc on 6-5-02 @ 5:36 PM