AmIalone?

[erole]

Yesterday I saw an ex g/f that I broke up with last year. I'm going to be working with her again. She was bending over, showing me her clevage, trying to be all flurty, but not direct. I broke up with her cause she is too angry of a person to be with. I noticed yesterday how beautiful she looked. I know she wants to sleep with me even though she's got a b/f, her friends told me she still has it for me. I know it would be so easy to just have pointless sex.

I won't do it. Just can't. With all the Booty call, three ways, sex threads, is there anyone out there in R&F land that has my same opinions? No one night stand relationships, no booty call relationships, no freaky gang stuff? Anyone just feel like that preserving who they are for someone special is far better than idle cold moments, and vapid emotions? You are allowed to put down that I'm too conservative, or old fashioned - i've heard it all before. just want some feedback, maybe a kindrid spirit or two.

~Head of the Unban Christy Campagin
~Member of the Pod Secret Society
~Help grlNIN stay on the boards!
~Kill the Thread Killer Thread Member
~All around nice guy and wise ass

[Gvac]

I'm with you, erole. I've never been one for casual sex and the like.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, too, but I much prefer having a relationship to sleeping around. One of the most unfortunate results of the "sexual revolution" of the 60's and 70's is that a lot of people these days seem to think happiness is derived from sex.





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This message was edited by gvac on 6-4-02 @ 5:56 AM

[Aggie]

Erole-I totally understand what you're saying, and in general I agree. I would rather be settled down right now with one man but since I'm not, every once in awhile the booty call comes in handy. But other than that, I'm pretty old fashioned too. :)

"I can resist everything except temptation." (And Jamaicans) :) -Oscar Wilde

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"If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow."-John Wayne

Sister of the FAQ princess and down with it too!

[Yerdaddy]

Erole, I'm the same way with sex and love. Compared to being in love, casual sex is like a saltine cracker in the middle of a desert. I've had both, and now I'm content to pass up casual sex, not because I think it's immoral, but because, for me it's an empty experience. I can wait for the good stuff.

But there's also the social pressure to compare yourself to other people by how many chicks you've banged. There's pressure also from someone who you've been with expecting you to relive the past with a romp in the sack. My ex was married when she started calling me again, wanting to laugh and have great sex because she wasn't doing either with her husband. I didn't know why it was so hard to say no at the time. I didn't want to hurt her feelings by rejecting her; I didn't want to have her resenting me; and I wanted some of the amazing sex we had before. But it wasn't the same. The love was gone, and with it went the comfort and the passion that went along with the sex. After a few times I cut it off and said goodbye, and even that was uncomfortable for me to do. But after that I figured out that for me there's a difference between sex with and without that passion and compassion for the other person. I don't need some fairy-tale love to have sex, but I have to have feelings for and understanding with the other person. It has to be comfortable, and that's how I make the decision.

Now I used to be more self-conscious about not playing the musical genitals game every weekend that my friends were playing. I judged myself by their standards. And sometimes I just get horned up and want a fuck buddy right then and there. But I pop in a porno, ruin a sock, and go on about my business. For other people, casual sex is cool. That's fine. Sex is different things to different people. I just prefer quality over quantity, and I don't apologize about that.

So if you're not going to bang your ex, can I have her number?

<img src="http://yerdaddy.homestead.com/files/pics/sigtard.jpg" >
This message was edited by someone with more sense.

[Garfield]

You gotta remember, what goes around, comes around, and if you make her cheat on her boyfriend, dont be surprised if someone you care for cheats on you...speaking from personal experienced here.

<IMG SRC="http://www.carisi.com/garfvader.gif">

[fatty]

she may be hot but she can't be beautiful if she's not a good person inside.

i know it's tempting but fuck her dude. i mean don't fuck her literally, who needs that drama. sex without love isnt' that great anyway.

<IMG SRC=http://wnew.com/-images/dandm_sm.jpg>
Give us AIDS, please!

[Hoojibs]

Erole, I agree with you in your situation. I went out to dinner with my ex-gf who was engaged. Part of me wanted to bang her honestly, but I didn't try anything because I would have felt guilty just cause she was taken. But, if both of us were single, I probably would have tried something.

I've never had a one night stand, all the sex I've had were with girls I've been involved with in some sort of relationship. But to be honest, I wouldn't mind trying the one night stand sex or sex without a commitment. Why? Because it would be an experience, and if it wasn't worth it, I'd know never to do it again.

<img src="http://hometown.aol.com/erzengel1/images/attack.jpg">

[DroopyGirl]

Erole.. I totally agree with you.. I think I would call myself kinda old fashioned when it comes to sex.. There need to be love!

and it's nice to see that not all guys think with the wrong head :)

<a href="http://members.lycos.nl/girl106"><img src="http://members.hometown.aol.com/droopy106/images/rfsig7.gif"></a>

"Men are smarter 'cause men have more muscle mass in their heads.

[SixPack]

"Wrong" is in the eye of the beholder.

[Gwen]

Erole: Im with ya too. All i really talk about is runnin' batches here on the board, so none of this crazy 3 way stuff for me. A booty call is never truly a booty call, one person alwasy likes hte ohter a little and it always ends badly...
Im not 100% old fashioned, but Im not down iwth one nite stands, booty calls or orgies. Im a snob, i like to be the center of attention when its me and my guy and I like to know he feels the same way so I wont get my feelings hurt.

<img src=http://robie.nine-zero.com:443/files/dynamitediva/afrosig.gif>
Thanks Jersey Rich!
Co-Founder of the Odd Job Fan Club!

[FMJeff]

If you want to fuck her, fuck her. If you don't want to, don't. World will not explode if you do. Her boyfriend might kick your ass, but that's basically it.

Personally, I like to stay away from girls with boyfriends, especially if they are ex's. Too much trouble. You moved on, so should she.

Don't analyze it too much. She's obviously a cheating whore not worthy of your time.

Jeff Shain
WebMaster
http://www.foundrymusic.com

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[Yerdaddy]

OK, so now that we've all established that we're mature people who value love and commitment over cheap sex, what say we all get together and fuck like nasty pigs?

<img src="http://yerdaddy.homestead.com/files/pics/sigtard.jpg" >
This message was edited by someone with more sense.

[TomPoo]

I wouldn't fuck her, but maybe she is still willing to give you skull... that is a totally diffferent story.

one person alwasy likes hte ohter a little and it always ends badly...

it always ends badly, gwen???

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There is nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
---Tom Poo

(thanks Fallon for the sig!)

[Coco]

I say don't do it. Especially because you mentioned that you will soon be working with her. You will be around her more, and only more involvement can happen. You specifically mentioned that you weren't happy with her.

I was in a similar situation years ago. I just felt it was wrong to give this guy the wrong intention that I wanted to stay with him or still loved him.

[DarkHippie]

you're a good man, Mr. 3.

I don't know what i'd do in that situation. i'd like to think i'd be strong, but you never know.

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[wilee]

I too don't go for the meaningless romp. If there's nothing to the relationship, there's no reason to hit the sheets. I think self control is a widely ignored trait in people today. More people need to practice self control.

<IMG SRC="http://cwjr.home.infi.net/rocket.jpg">

[Gwen]

A booty call is never truly a booty call, one person alwasy likes hte ohter a little and it always ends badly...


Yes, TT, it always ends badly.

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Thanks Jersey Rich!
Co-Founder of the Odd Job Fan Club!

This message was edited by Gwen on 6-4-02 @ 3:51 PM

[Captain Stubing]

erole I'm with you on this. You left her for a reason, and if you don't plan on really being with her again outside of the occasional poke I say just be friends. You'll only confuse yourself, her and her boyfriend (ya'know, the crusty panties...) <P>
Maybe I've been married to long, maybe I'm just old fashioned, maybe getting any piece of ass that's available just isn't that apealing to me, whatever. Remember your

Fezaesthesia - Prognosis poor...

[ShelleBink]

this is going to sound awful coming from me. a lot of you know a lot of my past, and how i've acted in relationships ((some have you have even had the <i>joy</i> of being with me ... i know it was awful, so sorry))

to get back on topic, after years of casual sex, im actually searching for something more fulfililng. cuddling on the couch, doing stupid shit together, and just having the basic assurance of someone being there for you is just what's appealing me at the moment. unfortunately, the one guy i found that in i can't possibly have right now ((he's moving to florida)). it sucks, we love each other, but we're back to firends... and so my search begins again. i even thought i found a nice guy, but turns out he has some issues about trusting me in large crowds :P . i'm a handful, i'll be the first to admit it, but i dont deserve asshole guys i've been getting. :( poopy. uh. i just realized this isn't very topical.

erole, ur not alone in wanthing a deeper relationship with someone, its just that some people ((cough, *me*)) are insecure and use(d) casual sex for the instant gratification it provided, and now my reputation precedes me. i'm very flirty, very sexual, but i dont want to be called a whore. i just want to be loved like everyone else.

*and the world's smallest violin plays*

im such a brat. good luck in finding someone erole.

<center><b>I'm Not That Innocent...
<img src="http://shellebink.homestead.com/files/sigpicronfez.jpg"></img>
I Mean, Just Look At Me</center></b>
<marquee><font color=iceblue>...so don't hesitate/I won't kiss and tell/no need to worry 'cause/I'm, I'm a professional/the show can start/as soon as I see money on the table/I've an empty space to fill/I'm willing , if you're able...</marquee></font>

[TomPoo]

Yes, TT, it always ends badly.


I am sorry to hear you feel that way.




<IMG SRC="http://tompoo.50megs.com/images/tompsig3.jpg" width=300 height=100>
There is nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?
---Tom Poo

(thanks Fallon for the sig!)

[Poopsyc]

I am in a similar situation, just the other way around though. I am still friends with my ex b/f but I would love to sleep with him again. I am pretty sure I wouldn't have a problem seducing him but I've decided against it. Why put myself through that again? For one night of amazing sex. The only problem is, casual sex between people who had close relations is next to impossible.

Been there, done that, you know what your missing out on so don't sweat it and forget about it.

[Supervixen]

even though I did much publisize a threeway I had
a few weeks ago, Im all for love. Im deffinitly all
emotional and a little bit of a hopeless romantic
even though I pretend not to be. My first time was
with someone I REALLY loved- since then im had my
little share of fuck buddies but Ive never initiaTED
sex where there was no love-type emotions at all
(meaning friendship love or a very very strong
liking),

If you dont feel like its right, then good for you for
not doing it.

people who will have sex with anyone they wink at
are A Dime A Dozen. I have alot of respect


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src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/babyan
na.jpg">

...the words she writes will change the world...
-The Descenden

[erole]

I'm so happy. I was really worried, posting something so "old fashioned" wasn't going to get much of a response like this. I feel a little less alone now. I really appreciate EVERY response.
I wasn't going to go for her. The thought crossed my mind and I wasn't going to do it. It just got me thinking about my opinions of having that kind of restraint in a world that really doesn't have too much restraint and patience. And I am NOT saying that one is wrong or one is right.

She was the last girl I was "with." It has been a year and two months since I've had the sex. I post something a little freakish from time to time, and play up the sex card for laughs, but really, I'm almost content waiting for the right person again. I did say ALMOST content. I am a sexual beast after all. I love all different views, from the 3-way to the abstaining, and I don't judge or look down or look up. It just made me feel a little better that my opinion has found a little connection with like minds. I never really thought it would.

~Head of the Unban Christy Campagin
~Member of the Pod Secret Society
~Help grlNIN stay on the boards!
~Kill the Thread Killer Thread Member
~All around nice guy and wise ass

[Yerdaddy]

I love all different views, from the 3-way
I'm partial to the view from the bottom of the pile.

<img src="http://yerdaddy.homestead.com/files/pics/sigtard.jpg" >
This message was edited by someone with more sense.

[erole]

I have a little time to burn so forgive my ramblings:
Compared to being in love, casual sex is like a saltine cracker in the middle of a desert
Yerdaddy, that was great. As for social pressure, I was never pressured with that. I always went against the grain. Some people were pissed off at me about that, others didn't mind, and only a few were with me. Thanks for sharing with the group. Now we all feel cleansed, like an enema to a.ok my metaphors suck - I'll leave it to Yerdaddy.
she may be hot but she can't be beautiful if she's not a good person inside.
Exactly fatty. Nailed it right on the button. By the way, looks like you gots 1,000 coming bro!
"Wrong" is in the eye of the beholder.
.unless you are an axe murderer sent by God to kill the "demons" on the earth, and you behold it's OK.
and now my reputation precedes me.
Screw that Shelle. People who base opinions on others by reputation are clueless, judgmental jackasses. Don't get me wrong, some people hurt themselves by what they do, but it is how we are in the NOW that should define us with others. We learn from our past, and while we look forward to the future, we do what we can now. You will find that love you are looking for.
~Thanks Supervixen, TomPoo, Poopsyc, Captain Stubing, Gwen (no one should be 100% old fashioned), wilee, DarkHippie, Coco, FoundryMusicJeff, DroopyGirl, Hoojibs, Garfield, Aggie, and gvac! OK, now I'm out of breath!

~Head of the Unban Christy Campagin
~Member of the Pod Secret Society
~Help grlNIN stay on the boards!
~Kill the Thread Killer Thread Member
~All around nice guy and wise ass

[Yerdaddy]

Now we all feel cleansed, like an enema to a.ok my metaphors suck - I'll leave it to Yerdaddy.
I'll finish that for you Buddy: Like an enema in a jacuzzi, who needs it when you've got all those jets?

If I don't make you laugh, you don't know what felch means.
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Can you blow me where the Pampers is?