Best Fortune Cookie Messages

[42nd-delay]

A while back, my roommate and I began putting the best "fortunes" we got up on the fridge. Among the highlights:

An attractive lady has a message for you.

You are surrounded by fortune hunters.

Examine your motives for skirting the truth.

You do not have to be a full time role model.

You make people realize there exists other beauties in the world (is that an insult or a compliment?)

Criticize but do not abandon your delinquient friends.


I like these cause they seem to assume so much about the person reading them. Anyone else remember some good fortunes they've gotten?

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42nd-delay

"42nd-delay is the only person who's making sense." - Ron, 3-12-02

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[sleepyeyed_Jynx]

"You're a dick". The cook didn't like me because I said his chicken tasted like fried boot.

<IMG SRC="http://www.yoursighost.com/members/Jynx/sig3.JPG">
Becoming king of the message board, one rude post at a time!

[ag]

No joke, I had an actual fortune cookie say "You will have good fortune"

<img src=http://ag1247.50megs.com/images/happy.gif>
In vino veritas

Official Mentor of cronicman

<marquee>There's a place in the world for the angry young man With his working class ties and his radical plansHe refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl,He's always at home with his back to the wall.And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost,And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on the cross-And he likes to be knowns as the angry young man. </marquee>

[Sheeplovr]

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU THAT MAN HAS A KILLER HAT

number 333 its the way to be
http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/walrus701/images/breadsig.jpg
POWER AND CHAOS

[FUNKMAN]

had to work today and we ordered chinese food...
the fortune i just got was:
"Your Life is Like A Kaliedascope"

What The! Don't know what to make of it
:)

<img src="http://www.markfarner.com/2001tour/ribfest8_small.jpg">

[erole]

May you have a funky shit

lucky numbers: 2, 8, 13, 20, 22


(my signature is my bitch and I won't let her out)

[Pootertoot]

Just a thumbs down.

<embed src="http://hometown.aol.com/slfcallednowhere/mario2.swf" width=300 height=100>
Censored, Because I'm a Responsible Moderator, who fucks children in the ass.

[Yerdaddy]

"sucky, fucky, shmoke shigarette in ha pushy, she do anytin you wan!"

<img src="http://yerdaddy.homestead.com/files/pics/siggumm.jpg" >
This message was edited by someone with more sense.

[Michael Fury]

"Help. I'm a prisoner in a
Chinese bakery."








New Yorkers for Palantine: We ARE the people.

[Death Metal Moe]

I got one that said "You should eat more Chinese Food!"

WHAT THE FUCK! I want a fortune, not a ad!

EVIL REIGNS!!!
http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Darkness.gif

www.unhallowed.com

[Gwen]

My favorite was one very similar to moe's:

You really like chinese food.

<img src=http://robie.nine-zero.com:443/files/dynamitediva/afrosig.gif>
Thanks Jersey Rich!

[EffMeBoobs]

You're a pretty girl.

<img width=300 length=100 src=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/lqqieee/images/effme2.gif>
Thanks JerseyRich for his wondrous sig pic making skills!

[Yerdaddy]

this turned into a funny goddamn thread!


which is an odd thing for a furtune cookie to say

fried boot!!

<img src="http://yerdaddy.homestead.com/files/pics/fargo.jpg" >
This message was edited by someone with more sense.

[nickeye]

"Among the blessed, you are the chosen one."

I still have it in my wallet. Really.

[Zipgun]

"You stink, and I don't like you"



<img src=http://atamichimpo.50megs.com/images/skidmarkdpsig2.jpg>

[Death Metal Moe]

Confusious say:
"Man who go to bed with itchy asshole wake up with smelly finger."

EVIL REIGNS!!!
http://unhallowed.com/sigs/Darkness.gif

www.unhallowed.com

[TooCute]

I got one that said "Feel before
you blow"

honestly.

dirty dirty dirty!!!!!!!!


<img src=http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/sheepyson/images/toocutesass344.jpg>

[brijjack]

"You're an Asshole"
My brother printed it on the printer, cut it to size, and then handed it to me at the chinese restuarant.

<IMG SRC="http://www.longislandoutside.com/brijjack2.gif">

[EQ]

* IN about thirty minutes, you will be hungry again **



<img src="http://www.chaoticconcepts.com/bans/Elle.jpg">

[PanterA]

"Thank you for your help with keeping the kitten population down."

http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig4I crush the rush! I rule you fool!

[The Blowhard]

Mine said "You Frucking plick"!

<img src=http://www.ltrooster.homestead.com/files/HecklerFootAnimation.gif>

[JerseyRich]

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

I just opened this fortune cookie...
I am stupid...
Could someone please explain it to me?

Oh by the way...I had no lucky numbers.
It just says Lucky Numbers: Then a blank space. Does this mean I will get hit by a number * bus tomorrow.

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HerbalRich.gif>
AIM:RnF JerseyRich

[ToiletCrusher]

Today, mine says "Hope is the best stimulant of life".

[sailor]

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

I just opened this fortune cookie...
I am stupid...
Could someone please explain it to me?

Oh by the way...I had no lucky numbers.
It just says Lucky Numbers: Then a blank space. Does this mean I will get hit by a number * bus tomorrow.

<img src=http://home.ix.netcom.com/~camman/_uimages/HerbalRich.gif>
AIM:RnF JerseyRich

figure it out yet?

[ToiletCrusher]

figure it out yet?

He got hit by a bus.

[Stankfoot]

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a144/lomis/fortune_cookie.jpg

[Furtherman]

"Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."

Police Find 1,000 Marijuana Plants at Fortune Cookie Factory (http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2009/12/09/crimesider/entry5953632.shtml)