angrymissy
05-14-2002, 05:12 AM
<CENTER><U><B><FONT FACE="Verdana" SIZE=7 COLOR=#804040>FATMOUSE.</FONT></B></U></CENTER>
<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/fatmouse.jpg" width="300" border=1></CENTER>
<BR><BR>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
<B><FONT FACE="Verdana" SIZE=4>FATMOUSE MAKES EVERYTHING A LOT BETTER. HE DOESN'T MAKE THINGS. HE MAKES THEM BETTER.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE WILL EAT DINNER ON YOUR GRANDMA'S LACE TABLECLOTH.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE CARES NOT ABOUT THE AFFAIRS OF SMALL MEN. FATMOUSE LIKES TO EAT.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE CAN MAKE YOU A WINNER. FATMOUSE CAN MAKE YOU A LOSER. FATMOUSE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT EITHER. IT IS FOR YOU TO CARE ABOUT FATMOUSE.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE HAS NO PATIENCE BUT MUCH HUNGER.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE TAKES UMBRAGE AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR SMALL TORSO AND WEAK FLACCID LIMBS. FATMOUSE IS NEVER FOOLED BY IMITATORS.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE WILL SPEAK AND YOU WILL LISTEN. FATMOUSE LIKES TO EAT. FATMOUSE DOES NOT CARE FOR YOUR MONEY OR YOUR SOCIAL STATUS OR YOUR STUPID ORDERED LIVES. FATMOUSE CARES ONLY FOR YOUR CARBOHYDRATES. <U>FATMOUSE MUST FEED.</U>
<BR><BR>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
The Legion of Fatmouse continues to grow. Here is our dedicated officer elite.
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/colonel_corpulus.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10> <BR><B>COLONEL CORPULUS
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/reichsmarshall_von_cheese.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10> <BR><B>REICHSMARSCHAL VON CHEESE
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/major_flabwobble.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10> <BR><B>MAJOR McFLABWOBBLE
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/lieutenant_gutbucket.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10><BR> <B>LIEUTENANT GUTBUCKET
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/ratsumo.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10><BR> <B>RAT SUMO
<BR><BR>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE IS COMING AND HE HAS A MESSAGE AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT. FATMOUSE WILL CONSUME YOUR POOR THIN WORLD AND REGURGITATE IT IN HIS OWN IMAGE. FATMOUSE DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU AND HE DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MEAGRE HOPES AND DREAMS. IT IS BETTER TO WALK WITH FATMOUSE THAN TO BE IN HIS PATH, FOR FATMOUSE MUST FEED.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE DOES NOT USE MONEY. FATMOUSE EATS MONEY. FATMOUSE SHREDS MONEY FOR BEDDING. FATMOUSE REQUIRES VERY MUCH BEDDING. YOUR MONEY BELONGS TO FATMOUSE.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE IS A SUPERSTAR PAR EXCLLENCE. YOU DO NOT QUESTION FATMOUSE. FATMOUSE HAS A LIMOUSINE AND A YACHT AND A SWIMMING POOL. FATMOUSE DOES NOT SWIM. SWIMMING DESTROYS PRECIOUS CALORIES. LIFE IS NOT IMPORTANT. ONLY CALORIES ARE IMPORTANT.
<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/scales.jpg" width="282" border=1></CENTER>
<BR><BR>
AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, THE SCALES ARE TIPPED IN FAVOUR OF FATMOUSE. YOU ARE BUT ANOTHER CONSUMABLE IN A LONG LINE OF CONSUMABLES.
<BR><BR>
BUYING IN BULK SAVES YOU MONEY. SWALLOWING YOUR HEAD SPARES FATMOUSE THE SOUND OF YOUR THIN SQUEAKY PROTESTS. FATMOUSE'S DIGESTIVE TRACT CONTAINS SOME OF THE MOST POWERFUL ACIDS KNOWN TO SCIENCE. FATMOUSE IS READY TO RUMBLE. FATMOUSE WILL RUMBLE ALL OVER YOUR HOMES AND LIVELIHOODS. YOUR FAMILY IS NOTHING BUT A PERISTALTIC SHIFT TO FATMOUSE.
<BR><BR></B>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
<FONT COLOR=#FF0000><B>NOTICE:</B></FONT> IT HAS RECENTLY BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT <B>FATMOUSE</B> HAS RELOCATED TO <A HREF="http://www.culture-schlock.com/fatmouse.html">TOKYO, JAPAN</A>, HAVING OUTGROWN THE HIBERNATION CHAMBER ON HIS SECRET UNCHARTED PACIFIC ISLAND STRONGHOLD. THE MESSAGE BEHIND THIS IS CLEAR: <B>FATMOUSE</B> IS NO LONGER PREPARED TO WAIT AND BE FED. <B>FATMOUSE</B> IS COMING TO FEED IN PERSON, AND HE WILL BROOK NO INTERFERENCE. <B>FATMOUSE</B> HAS ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE AS OF MAY 11th, 2002.
<BR><BR>
<I><FONT COLOR=#800040>"FATMOUSE IS COMING TO LEAD THIS POOR, THIN WORLD INTO A NEW AGE OF GLORIOU
<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/fatmouse.jpg" width="300" border=1></CENTER>
<BR><BR>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
<B><FONT FACE="Verdana" SIZE=4>FATMOUSE MAKES EVERYTHING A LOT BETTER. HE DOESN'T MAKE THINGS. HE MAKES THEM BETTER.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE WILL EAT DINNER ON YOUR GRANDMA'S LACE TABLECLOTH.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE CARES NOT ABOUT THE AFFAIRS OF SMALL MEN. FATMOUSE LIKES TO EAT.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE CAN MAKE YOU A WINNER. FATMOUSE CAN MAKE YOU A LOSER. FATMOUSE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT EITHER. IT IS FOR YOU TO CARE ABOUT FATMOUSE.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE HAS NO PATIENCE BUT MUCH HUNGER.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE TAKES UMBRAGE AT THE SIGHT OF YOUR SMALL TORSO AND WEAK FLACCID LIMBS. FATMOUSE IS NEVER FOOLED BY IMITATORS.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE WILL SPEAK AND YOU WILL LISTEN. FATMOUSE LIKES TO EAT. FATMOUSE DOES NOT CARE FOR YOUR MONEY OR YOUR SOCIAL STATUS OR YOUR STUPID ORDERED LIVES. FATMOUSE CARES ONLY FOR YOUR CARBOHYDRATES. <U>FATMOUSE MUST FEED.</U>
<BR><BR>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
The Legion of Fatmouse continues to grow. Here is our dedicated officer elite.
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/colonel_corpulus.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10> <BR><B>COLONEL CORPULUS
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/reichsmarshall_von_cheese.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10> <BR><B>REICHSMARSCHAL VON CHEESE
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/major_flabwobble.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10> <BR><B>MAJOR McFLABWOBBLE
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/lieutenant_gutbucket.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10><BR> <B>LIEUTENANT GUTBUCKET
<BR><BR>
<IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/ratsumo.jpg" width="186" border=1 hspace=10><BR> <B>RAT SUMO
<BR><BR>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE IS COMING AND HE HAS A MESSAGE AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE IT. FATMOUSE WILL CONSUME YOUR POOR THIN WORLD AND REGURGITATE IT IN HIS OWN IMAGE. FATMOUSE DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU AND HE DOES NOT ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MEAGRE HOPES AND DREAMS. IT IS BETTER TO WALK WITH FATMOUSE THAN TO BE IN HIS PATH, FOR FATMOUSE MUST FEED.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE DOES NOT USE MONEY. FATMOUSE EATS MONEY. FATMOUSE SHREDS MONEY FOR BEDDING. FATMOUSE REQUIRES VERY MUCH BEDDING. YOUR MONEY BELONGS TO FATMOUSE.
<BR><BR>
FATMOUSE IS A SUPERSTAR PAR EXCLLENCE. YOU DO NOT QUESTION FATMOUSE. FATMOUSE HAS A LIMOUSINE AND A YACHT AND A SWIMMING POOL. FATMOUSE DOES NOT SWIM. SWIMMING DESTROYS PRECIOUS CALORIES. LIFE IS NOT IMPORTANT. ONLY CALORIES ARE IMPORTANT.
<BR><BR>
<CENTER><IMG SRC="http://al.ismoketoomuch.com/scales.jpg" width="282" border=1></CENTER>
<BR><BR>
AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE, THE SCALES ARE TIPPED IN FAVOUR OF FATMOUSE. YOU ARE BUT ANOTHER CONSUMABLE IN A LONG LINE OF CONSUMABLES.
<BR><BR>
BUYING IN BULK SAVES YOU MONEY. SWALLOWING YOUR HEAD SPARES FATMOUSE THE SOUND OF YOUR THIN SQUEAKY PROTESTS. FATMOUSE'S DIGESTIVE TRACT CONTAINS SOME OF THE MOST POWERFUL ACIDS KNOWN TO SCIENCE. FATMOUSE IS READY TO RUMBLE. FATMOUSE WILL RUMBLE ALL OVER YOUR HOMES AND LIVELIHOODS. YOUR FAMILY IS NOTHING BUT A PERISTALTIC SHIFT TO FATMOUSE.
<BR><BR></B>
<HR SIZE=2 WIDTH=80% ALIGN=Center NOSHADE color="#804040">
<BR><BR>
<FONT COLOR=#FF0000><B>NOTICE:</B></FONT> IT HAS RECENTLY BEEN BROUGHT TO OUR ATTENTION THAT <B>FATMOUSE</B> HAS RELOCATED TO <A HREF="http://www.culture-schlock.com/fatmouse.html">TOKYO, JAPAN</A>, HAVING OUTGROWN THE HIBERNATION CHAMBER ON HIS SECRET UNCHARTED PACIFIC ISLAND STRONGHOLD. THE MESSAGE BEHIND THIS IS CLEAR: <B>FATMOUSE</B> IS NO LONGER PREPARED TO WAIT AND BE FED. <B>FATMOUSE</B> IS COMING TO FEED IN PERSON, AND HE WILL BROOK NO INTERFERENCE. <B>FATMOUSE</B> HAS ISSUED A PRESS RELEASE AS OF MAY 11th, 2002.
<BR><BR>
<I><FONT COLOR=#800040>"FATMOUSE IS COMING TO LEAD THIS POOR, THIN WORLD INTO A NEW AGE OF GLORIOU