Best Ron and Fez line? [Archive] - RonFez.net Messageboard

HordeKing1

05-09-2001, 02:27 AM

Yesterday, while talking to Al Dukes.....

RON: Comeon, Al, everyone wants to go out saving a child or banging a young chick.

FEZ: Sometimes I confuse the two.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

JAYMOHRBUDDY

05-09-2001, 06:31 AM

I cant think of one right off the top of my head, but i will revert back to one of their promos ..Where Ron says something about Semen, and Fez responds with "No thanks im not thirsty,maybe later"

-----------------------
IM name: JAYMOHRBUDDY
<img height=100 src=http://home2.inet.tele.dk/jacob/test/cat/ninja/pictures/ninja13.gif>

angrymissy

05-09-2001, 06:43 AM

That was back when they were Ron and Fez DOT COM. It was something where Fezzy goes
"Ronny, I can't remember what they call those men who ride on the ships"
Ron: "seamen, Fez"
Fez: "no thanks, maybe later... im still tryin to remember what those men are called"

there was also one involving a YMCA and Boys Town that was only on like once before they pulled it - they ended up playing it on O&A one day. that was my fave :)

AMB

<HTML>
<img border="0" src="http://www.rfbabies.com/newsig.jpg" width="300" height="100">
</HTML>
Soy un pendidor.

Pootertoot

05-09-2001, 09:09 AM

Anytime Ron mentions "wearing a baby like a condom"

<img border="0" src="http://members.aol.com/muldermanx/myhomepage/touch.gif?mtbrand=AOL_US" width="300" height="100">

vegeta

05-09-2001, 09:47 AM

you can't beat fez' infamous line "I have a fiance in Niagra Falls Ontario, Canada and we have hot sex together."

<center><img src="http://darknemisis.homestead.com/files/vegeta_charging.gif" height=100 height=130></img>
You may not like me, but you will learn to LOVE ME! </center>

babychanel

05-09-2001, 09:44 PM

sorry but staker rules everytime!!! I love the way they promote it like they take it.;)

[I'm the unofficial babychanel]<img border="4" src="babychanel"width="6"height"5">

iscream22

05-17-2001, 01:14 PM

I loved it that time where they were talking about Dumpy sending mail to baby Sara, and they started mocking slaves sending mail, it was hilarious. :)

Crazy Claire is so damn hot.

This message was edited by iscream22 on 5-17-01 @ 5:15 PM

Zer0

05-17-2001, 02:23 PM

The other day when they were talking about the news paper headline "Cruella DeHanover" or whatever it was, Ron said something like:

"Tomorrow they're gonna have a picture of her crotch with the headline: 'This is one vagina monologue the mayor got tired of hearing'"

That made me laugh pretty hard..

<img border="0" src="http://www.marilynmanson.com/download/museum/pictures/img/shock.gif" width="100" height="100">
Peace,
-Zr0-

The Blowhard

05-17-2001, 02:42 PM

The one that Ron did off of a chicks stomach back in 82.;)

<img border="0" src="http://www.ronfez.net/images/sigs/hecklersig3.jpg">
"One million posts by June...Heckler"!

skullcrush

05-17-2001, 03:07 PM

fez said leave me in a room with a couple of five year olds.thats temptation island.

"all i want in this world is freedom and roastbeef"
-crazy lady from h.b.o

Spunk Bubbles

05-17-2001, 08:27 PM

Wasn't the seamen one during the crossover?? Well, that one might be the best one. I posted this before, but does anyone know where to get audio of their promos?

"Choke On It Twatwaffle"

TomPoo

05-18-2001, 03:41 AM

Next time, on a very special Ron and Fez.com

We look at funeral cast.com where you can watch a live internet broadcast of your loved ones funeral

Fez: Hey Ron! When I die I want you to spread my asses wide and far and...

Ron: Did you say "Ashes" or "Asses"

Fez: Ashes Ronny, any way I want them spred out as far as you can...

Ron: Your talking about your Ass again aren't you?!?!

REEKING of AWESOMENESS
---Tom Poo

TomPoo

05-18-2001, 04:23 AM

When Fez had a cyst on his wrist and asked Ron to take a hard cover book, and smash it:

Ron: "Ok here is what we will do, Dumpy Get a bible, we will light it on fire and I will hit Fez with that"

Fez: WE DON'T NEED A BIBLE ON FIRE RON!!!!

Ron: Well then how is this suppose to work?

REEKING of AWESOMENESS
---Tom Poo

42nd-delay

05-18-2001, 05:36 AM

Spunk Bubbles - I have audio (MP3's) of some of their promos, they should be up on this site pretty soon. Unfortunately, I only have a few recent ones, but I plan to record most of the future ones.

- 42nd-delay

<img src = "http://www.krikordaglian.com/images/mtwnew_sig.jpg">

AngelAmy

05-18-2001, 07:00 AM

when ron said, "alright hunny" to this male caller

it was way back at night time, i have it on tape

funny shit

I AM ANGEL AMY =)
<img src="http://wnewsgirl.tripod.com/ANGELBABIESIG.gif">
my very own baby, Danilo, made this sig pic for me...kisses

Amuse2KAOS

05-18-2001, 07:21 AM

I still love the line "Helllllooo theeees iiiiis Iris cawling with news you can use for the jews"

from the front to the back, the best thing going...well, i don't really like the back, you can't really see anything from there...
your buddy, amuse2KAOS

Heroin Bob

05-18-2001, 12:56 PM

Some girl called up and sounded like she said something about doing it in the ear, Ron said "eww in the ear? well at least it'll be tight.
Comedy genius!

http://www.geocities.com/collegeshow/weez.jpg

TwiztidSerialKilla

05-18-2001, 01:48 PM

"RONNIE GET THE TABLE!!!"
That and when they had in the dominatrix on the overnight show. When the Dominatrix started with Ron and Ron said "Don't try that with me, I'll punch you in the forehead."

I'm Twiztid, and you should be too.

erinmoran

05-18-2001, 02:30 PM

" are you gonna let him get into your depends?"

ron said this when a 33 yr old woman called and said she had a crush on a 22 yr old guy from church. The guy called her ma'am. heheh hheeh

<img src="http://www.sitcomsonline.com/joanieandchachi.jpg" height=200 width= 150>

HordeKing1

05-18-2001, 03:47 PM

Anyone have "Hello this is Iris calling, with the news you can use for the Jews" on mp3?

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

CYYYFYYY

05-18-2001, 04:31 PM

Anything Iris says RULES!!!!

David the Franchize

Spiff22

05-19-2001, 01:25 PM

My favorite conversation went someting like this:

Ron: Sometimes when I rent a video and it's crappy, I like to wipe my ass with it and return it saying "now it's a bit more crappy".

Caller: I'm talking about Pay Per View though.

Ron: Then wipe your ass with that! I just don't know-

Fez: We don't know what to tell you to wipe your ass with!

Ron: I just can't solve all the listener's problems, Fez.

That was quality.

This message was edited by Spiff22 on 5-19-01 @ 5:31 PM

skullcrush

05-19-2001, 03:00 PM

crazy claire tells ron "i have something for you"and fez yells out "HERE COMES THE KNIFES RONNY"

"all i want in this world is freedom and roastbeef"
-crazy lady from h.b.o

TomPoo

05-21-2001, 03:58 AM

New favorite line from Fridays show:

Al Dukes: If brought a date I would give more money.

Ron: No Al, if you brought a date everyone would be exchanging money with each other, cause the bet is that you are GAY!!!

REEKING of AWESOMENESS
---Tom Poo

Amuse2KAOS

05-21-2001, 08:23 AM

Al Dukes: I had to sit at the kids table

and

Fez: DId the other kids make fun of your receding hairline

<img border=0 src=http://members.aol.com/_ht_a/amused2chaos/myhomepage/pink.jpg width=300 height=100>
from the front to the back, the best thing going...well, i don't really like the back, you can't really see anything from there...
your buddy, amuse2KAOS

HordeKing1

05-22-2001, 12:51 AM

A bunch of classics from the pregnant woman who called in upset that her husband doesn't want to have wild sex.

FEZ: Is your husband scared that the baby will grab him from your womb?

RON: Maybe he's scared that he'll break the baby's pelvis and it will travel up to his eye and blind him.

CALLER: I want to have threesomes.

FEZ: Does that count the baby.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/hking

raypruitt

05-22-2001, 06:11 AM

Can some one post Ron and Fez's 69* in wav or mp3?

The Blowhard

07-01-2001, 08:07 AM

A classic!

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/heck.gif
"My dog told me to kill you"

Dan

07-01-2001, 08:10 AM

Heckler: It took you a month to
come up with: "A Classic"?

<center>
I don't know why they call this stuff <a href="http://www.foundrymusic.com/BPM/columns.cfm">hamburger</a> helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than <a
href="http://www.biglug.com">tuna</a> helper myself, don't you,
Clark?</center>

TomPoo

07-02-2001, 05:01 AM

A month!!! HA!!! HA!!!

REEKING of AWESOMENESS
----TomPoo

<img border="0" src="http://www.viewaskew.com/clerks/images/pics/danteran.gif" width="200" height="100">

"There's nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?"

skullcrush

07-02-2001, 12:54 PM

al dukes seeing a baby in trouble..."help,help for a baby"

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/skull
pantera made me a cool sig,but i didnt know what to do so PanterA entered my account and got it to work. :)

skullcrush

07-02-2001, 02:48 PM

when ron said the flick was so bad that he walked out on the movie poster,or if he rented a bad movie he walks out on his family.also when fez said he felt so good on the last flight he took,he took a pooh in the bathroom of the plane

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/skull
pantera made me a cool sig,but i didnt know what to do so PanterA entered my account and got it to work. :)

Gvac

07-02-2001, 03:15 PM

Whenever the discussion turns
to any kind of food, Ron
mumbles "Now I'm starvin'".
Kills me every time.

To the sober I'm just an asshole

Pootertoot is God

afrocops

07-03-2001, 08:48 PM

WHen the movie Gladiator came out, everytime some one said "Gladiator," Ron would reply, "She didn't complain either."

Get it?

Gladiator (Glad I ate her)

Ha Ha Ha

(I know I didn't have to spell it out but it's really that funny.)

<img src="http://www.mars-revolution.com/afrocops1.jpg">

PanterA

07-03-2001, 09:18 PM

They replayed it today and i laughed as loud as the first time i heard it. The time they were going through the most offensive names for things and the caller says:

Caller: "I dont like the word Cracker.

Ron: "Yeah me too, i call them salty square things."

LMAO!! i dont know why that gets me every time.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/tubsigBig Ass card member: 418CYA!

42nd-delay

07-05-2001, 05:42 AM

When they were discussing a threesome with a mother and daughter, and "Mother and Child Reunion" starts playing - Ron: 'Wow is that what this song is about? That Paul Simon is a great man.'

------------------------------
42nd-delay

<img src = "http://www.krikordaglian.com/images/mtwnew_sig.jpg">

cara

07-05-2001, 10:53 AM

On todays best of

"Just squeeze one out like a play dough fun factory." speaking about Al Duke's bathroom habits.

Cara

afrocops

07-06-2001, 11:17 AM

Here's another one I thought of, this one being from the AFRO club:

Ron calls in to O&A either because the Radio Chick got fired, something went down at WNEW, or he had an Instant Feedback read by Anthony. But whatever the case may be, as they are about to hang up:

Anthony: Say 'hi' to Fez for me.

Ron: I don't live with the guy.

LMAO (I now feel as gay as Fez for writing LMAO)

<img src="http://www.mars-revolution.com/afrocops1.jpg">

Burntrail

07-06-2001, 11:43 AM

I still like the "Cool and the Gang" response when asked "How are you doing?"

Still just a newbie...

skullcrush

07-26-2001, 12:48 PM

a caller was talkin about his girl cheatin on him...

caller: if i knew who the guy was i'd kill him.
ron: alright stop being a tuff guy.you cant even keep a women happy.

http://members.aol.com/slipknot4twenty/skull
pantera made me a cool sig,but i didnt know what to do so PanterA entered my account and got it to work. :)

Maureen

07-26-2001, 10:05 PM

Discussing Ronnie's 5-year-old niece being dumped out for saying shi*:

Fez: Who's raising her, Ronnie, and can you get custody?
Ron: Scooby-Doo's raising that kid, Fez, believe me.

Ron's delivery is unbeatable.

LittleLizaJane

07-26-2001, 10:17 PM

I agree that Fezzy's fiance
line is the best! I think I'm
starting to believe him.
hmm

Drunky McBetidont

05-07-2008, 10:04 AM

RAAMONE

05-07-2008, 10:09 AM

Yesterday, while talking to Al Dukes.....

RON: Comeon, Al, everyone wants to go out saving a child or banging a young chick.

FEZ: Sometimes I confuse the two.

holy shit...i didnt know this thread existed

and Fez's line here is hilarious

moochcassidy

05-07-2008, 10:18 AM

not a gag, but my all-time favourite line was ron describing 'life'-

"you know..that whole orgasm/death gimmick"

Servo

05-07-2008, 10:29 AM

This was back from the 'NEW days, and I haven't heard it since, but it was so goddamn funny and it stuck with me... they were having a discussion about regional speech and phrases. Someone mentioned the word "underpants" -

Ron: I hate when an adult says "underpants." That's a kid's word. Like, a seven year old is pullin' up his underpants.

Fez: He sure is!

Ron: Alright...

Fez: "Hurry up! Get those back on!"

Ron: *sigh* So gross...

I probably butchered it because it was like six years ago. But that whole exchange killed me.

SinA

05-07-2008, 10:29 AM

the original LOTD thread?

it's like the prequel to chester's liver's book.

underdog

05-07-2008, 11:58 AM

Whenever the discussion turns
to any kind of food, Ron
mumbles "Now I'm starvin'".
Kills me every time.

Wow, I had no idea he was doing that for this long.

ozzie

05-07-2008, 12:02 PM

Circa 2002... They had Al in the studio making him eat mayonaise and talking about his eating habits... cakes for breakfast, etc...

Caller: "What's the difference between a Ring-Ding and a Ding-Dong?"

Al: "Different companies. The Drakes is like a darker chocolate"

Ron: "Then what's a King-Dong?"

Fez: "That's a Saturday Night for Al"

Team_Ramrod

05-07-2008, 12:44 PM

Wow, I had no idea he was doing that for this long.

yeah, Gvac has been posting silly shit from day 1. :wink:

Dirtybird12

05-07-2008, 12:46 PM

Cya!

Freakshow

05-07-2008, 01:07 PM

Wow, I had no idea he was doing that for this long.

Don't make ya a bad person.

Recyclerz

05-07-2008, 01:44 PM

If we're turning this into the "old school lines that you'll never forget" thread here's mine:

In the Old DotCom days, they were talking about porn sites (imagine!) and some dipshit caller was taking up air time describing how after seeing one particular site he had taken to jamming his schlong down his girlfriend's throat until she gagged and almost puked. (Total douche kid bragging about stuff he'd never done but had read about in the Penthouse letters type of call.)

Ron: (silence) (quiet sigh) "Gee buddy, I don't know what to tell you. I mean, it's a beautiful love story...."

Chigworthy

05-07-2008, 02:17 PM

AnnoyedGrunt

05-08-2008, 12:38 PM

Back at WJFK there were discussing the mean names you called kids in school.

Caller: Yeah, there was this dumb kid named Todd. We called him Re-Todd.

Ron: *Over the top laughter* That's great! I love it!

Fez: Hmm. I don't care for it myself.

DolaMight

05-08-2008, 12:42 PM

One time a caller called in and said "Homo says what?" real fast like so it was hard to hear. Then Fez didn't know what he said and he said "What?". It was funny because when fez said that it's like he admitted bein a homo or something. He really got him good. Ron even noticed.