hey can you guys cheer me up? [Archive]

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CrazyClare

03-23-2002, 10:25 PM

ive had a shitty weekend, really shitty and i feel like crap and i dont know what to do. can you guys tell me jokes or somethin to cheer me up? i just dont want to feel like this anymore. help please!!!

http://members.aol.com/inkgrrrl99/images/claresig.jpg
and i may be a real cruel smartmouth bitch but i sure as hell aint anybodies bitch!!

jamesdiggy

03-23-2002, 10:34 PM

Don't know if this will help. But I work in wine and liquor retail and I meet quite a few "Characters". One of them a homeless, crack addict named Fuzzy once told me I had a good heart ; and that as long as you have a good heart then none of the outside bullshit can penetrate and bring you down. That's always stuck with me.

Cake or Death? Uh, I'll have the cake please.

Earth2RON

03-23-2002, 10:39 PM

im not the kind of guy that tells jokes im more of the silly guy that makes you forget about your worries

how do you tell a U.S. soldier from a terrorist?

a U.S. soldier smells like foreign puss*,and a terrorist is a puss*

<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/rfnetearth2ron2.jpg">
sig by wwfallon
"the higher you climb the faster you will fall"

Captain Stubing

03-23-2002, 10:46 PM

1-800-PSYCH Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have a masochistic complex, please press

Fezaesthesia - Prognosis poor...

ThePointer

03-23-2002, 10:47 PM

There is a girl named claire
very sweet and fair.
she went out one night
to a round of fights.
while in the ring a knife she would bring,
this fine broth of a lass
so now I will cover my ass

Ok so I do not have the Blarney of my relatives

Well another day gone and the beer needs to be flowing again

ThePointer

03-23-2002, 10:47 PM

Sorry it was sent twice

Ok so I do not have the Blarney of my relatives

Well another day gone and the beer needs to be flowing again

This message was edited by ThePointer on 3-24-02 @ 3:01 AM

CrazyClare

03-23-2002, 11:21 PM

:) i like that heart thing,,, thanks guys, the poem is pretty damn good ttoo, specially the ass part
thanks guys i appreciate it!!

http://members.aol.com/inkgrrrl99/images/claresig.jpg
and i may be a real cruel smartmouth bitch but i sure as hell aint anybodies bitch!!

Earth2RON

03-23-2002, 11:21 PM

i cant stay away from you for to long:)

bobs sitting in his lawn chair,drinking beer and watching his wife mow the lawn

a female neighbor from across the street is so outraged at this that she comes over and shouts"you should be hung"

bob replies"why do you think shes cutting the grass?

<IMG SRC="http://rfnetearth2ron.50megs.com/images/rfnetearth2ron2.jpg">
sig by wwfallon
"the higher you climb the faster you will fall"

Poison Ivy

03-24-2002, 12:38 AM

I'm sorry you had such a bad weekend Clare :( I love you much and am here for you anytime babes. Hopefully this will help cheer you up a bit... 
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb? 

A: One. Only ONE!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT! They would sit in the dark for THREE Days before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO-ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12' DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS #@*$!#@!...HOUSE! 
I'm sorry...what did you ask me? 


<img src=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OAComSigPics/files/ItchyBitch/pirfsig.jpg> CWSOAD For Life <marquee>"Kiss me, and you may see stars. Love me, and I will give them to you." </marquee>

sexy bastard

03-24-2002, 05:25 AM

Oh my god ivy...that was hilarious..... it erally was
ummm let me see clare look at the baby in the picture that is funny...ummmm ummmm i dotn know i am still in pain from this weekend...just say this to yourself if you need to cheer up:
EIther you are a haggendefragendaz or your a binanazabar, thusly clare if your a binanzabar you obviously can not be a haggendefragendaz.
remeber that it always helps me
=)

<img src=http://members.aol.com/leonj25/myhomepage/sb.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US>
the epitome of masculinity (yeah right)

lleeder

03-24-2002, 05:35 AM

What did the Hindu porno actress say after Ron Jeremy busted in her eye?
Thank you cum again.

CYYYFYYY

03-24-2002, 05:42 AM

Ah I see.... Isaw Clari at Red Rocks and as usual...
after seeing me the ladies fget depressed..... WOO
WOO!!!!! Or maybe she was depresssed because I
did not try to make any moves on her....
HMMMMMM..... Na I will go with the fact that seeing
me depressed her........... Gosh Darnit.... On A
Serious note........ Um... I am never serious so I
can;t have a serious note.....

David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
My name is CYYYFYYY and I like Ping Pong

furie

03-24-2002, 06:24 AM

<a href="http://www.joecartoon.com/">
Try JoeCartoon.com
</a>
It always cheers me up.
thr frog in the blender is A classic

<img src="http://tseery.homestead.com/files/surfer.jpg" width=300 height=100 >
Thanks Fallon!

This message was edited by furie on 3-24-02 @ 2:13 PM

fatty

03-24-2002, 07:05 AM

if hobbes dancing doesn't make you happy i don't know what will. :)

<IMG SRC=http://www.wcnet.org/~mkessen/hobbes4.gif >
Fatty makes us happy!

Dudeman

03-24-2002, 07:09 AM

i'm dancing and singing to Harper Valley PTA. you'd laugh at me if you were here.

<IMG SRC="http://wwfallon.homestead.com/files/RFnetDudeman.jpg">
blinky has a central nervous system
thanks wwfallon!

legroommusic

03-24-2002, 07:31 AM

Hey, that's why we're here. When you're down and out, no one here is gonna kick you. We're here 4 U.

HUGS!!

Gvac

03-24-2002, 07:42 AM

Clare, just think of your old Uncle Gvac as your personal 1010WINS.

Give me 22 minutes, and I'll give you the world, baby! ;)

<img src=http://gvac.50megs.com/images/gvacarmysig.jpg>

Another awesome sig pic from Cheezeemee! Thanks, bud!

brodieman

03-24-2002, 07:47 AM

i'd try to cheer you up clare but i too have had a horrid week, maybe we can just go hide in a room and mope around, cry, watch tv and eat ice cream (the food not the girl)

It's not who you love, It's how.
<IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/brodieman3001/myhomepage/chasingsig.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US">
Check out Rock & Roll from NJ with Heads Up Penny
check them out @ http://www.headsuppenny.cjb.net
or listen to them now @ http://www.mp3.com/headsuppenny

DarkHippie

03-24-2002, 08:57 AM

clare, no matter how bad it gets, you always got us, to hug and love and worship you :)

<IMG SRC=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/inkgrrrl99/images/hippiesig.gif>
compliments to inkgrrrl on the fine, fine work
support your local 420: union of brotherhood

living on the road, my friend, was supposed to keep us free and clean.
now you wear you skin like iron, your breath's as hard as kerosene-- townes van zant "the ballad of poncho and lefty"

<a href=http://www.freeopendiary.com/entrylist.asp?authorcode=A537085>Transcendental Blues: a journal</a>

Christy

03-24-2002, 05:20 PM

<h1>Cheer Up Clare!!! Ever since you sent that "Asian Prince" link ... I love ya!

You rock sweetie! ;-)

What is up with this weekend? Everyone is having a crappy weekend ... including myself! ;-)</h1>

<IMG SRC="http://norraccm.50megs.com/images/rnf_cartoon.jpg"> CWSOAD For Life I'm not only the President ... I'm also a client! http://www.plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif

Poison Ivy

03-24-2002, 05:33 PM

This weekend did suck big time. And to top it all off I didn't get to see the one person I wanted to :(

<img src=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OAComSigPics/files/ItchyBitch/pirfsig.jpg> CWSOAD For Life <marquee>"Kiss me, and you may see stars. Love me, and I will give them to you." </marquee>

Christy

03-24-2002, 05:37 PM

This weekend did suck big time. And to top it all off I didn't get to see the one person I wanted to

Ummmm ... hello ... I know exactly how you feel ... and you didn't call me back silly goose? You can call me anytime ...

<IMG SRC="http://norraccm.50megs.com/images/rnf_cartoon.jpg"> CWSOAD For Life I'm not only the President ... I'm also a client! http://www.plauder-smilies.de/happy/roflmao.gif

FUNKMAN

03-24-2002, 05:59 PM

Clare,

Sound like you are in a bit of a Funk...

take a nice hot bath and add some of your favorite oil beads
have a nice cold glass of Pinot Grigio
invite a friend over and talk about the good times...
if no friends are around just turn on your favorite music or movie and enjoy...
:)

<img src="http://w3.one.net/~wap/GFR_WEB/GFR_ALBUMS/GRAPHICS/coverLiveAlbum.jpg">

"And When Your Bad, You Die When You Die"

CrazyClare

03-24-2002, 06:04 PM

and not only did a whole lot of bad shit go down, a bunch of my friends went back to school cause breaks over :( booo!

http://members.aol.com/inkgrrrl99/images/claresig.jpg
and i may be a real cruel smartmouth bitch but i sure as hell aint anybodies bitch!!

french bread pizza

03-24-2002, 08:07 PM

::humps you really hard and good cause i'm horny

okay now that that's over..i'm sorry you had such a shitty weekend, i wish i could have made it better....umm my roomate turned 21 this weekend and she was so drunk every time someone said happy birthday to her she said happy birthday back..and umm what else..i'm picking mascara off of my eyelashes cause i'm too lazy to go wash my face...

Two cowboys from Texas walk into a roadhouse to wash the
trail dust from their throats. They stand at the bar,
drinking a beer and talking about the current cow prices.

Suddenly a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich,
begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent
that she is in real distress. One of the cowboys looks at
her and says, "Kin ya swaller?" The woman shakes her head
no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and
shakes her head. The cowboy walks over to the woman, lifts
up the back of her dress, yanks down her panties and slowly
runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small
of her back. The woman is so shocked that she has a
violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the cowboy walks slowly
back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick
manoeuvre, but I ain't never seen nobody do it before."

oh yeah i'm drunk and i'm starving..i love you clare

i have nothing witty to add.

Hosp

03-24-2002, 08:54 PM

My nephew threw up on me at the start of a 3 hour car ride today then laughed in my face as he hit me with a brachiosauraus after only 90 minutes of sleep last night..

I dont know, it made everyone else in the car laugh I thought it may have made you.

<center>http://members.aol.com/mkalstott40/images/hosp%20krikor%20sig.jpg</center>
Keanu
Reeves
Is
Kind
Of
Retarded

CrazyClare

03-24-2002, 09:13 PM

lol. you need cheerin upi now too dont you?!!

http://members.aol.com/inkgrrrl99/images/claresig.jpg
and i may be a real cruel smartmouth bitch but i sure as hell aint anybodies bitch!!

Boy Pussy

03-24-2002, 09:27 PM

I have a pic of you slashing my throat at The Big Ass Night Of Fights... it makes me happy everytime I see it.
Does making someone laugh without you knowing it make ya feel any better?

Poison Ivy

03-24-2002, 09:43 PM

I got a visual one here that should get a laugh out of you babes...let me know if you can't see it, I'll IM it to you ;) <img src=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OAComSigPics/files/ItchyBitch/NEWCLE%7E1.JPG width="300" height="300">

<img src=http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OAComSigPics/files/ItchyBitch/pirfsig.jpg> CWSOAD For Life <marquee>"Kiss me, and you may see stars. Love me, and I will give them to you." </marquee>

This message was edited by Poison Ivy on 3-25-02 @ 1:50 AM

The Belcher

03-24-2002, 10:27 PM

You need aromatherapy :)

Apply pressure to Stabby's wound to stop the bleeding.
<a href="http://www.mp3.com/thebelcher"><IMG align=center height=140 width=200 SRC="http://images.mp3.com/mp3s/81/resources/693/453/files/6934535.jpg"</td>
Clare? What did you do to my snowman?

Hosp

03-25-2002, 07:13 AM

I made Clare laugh so I'm feeling better already. (And that's what this whole thread was about, making me feel better, right?)

I let my nephew get away with murder so it's all right. It's just the rest of my family I have a problem with.

<center>http://members.aol.com/mkalstott40/images/hosp%20krikor%20sig.jpg</center>
Keanu
Reeves
Is
Kind
Of
Retarded

scorpion

03-25-2002, 08:43 AM

I am sorry to hear your blue. You can borrow my kitty. She usually cheers me up. 
Cannot goive you a hug online. But how about some flowers. 
@}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- @}->->->->- 


<img src= "http://www.healthytraining.com/rf/rfsig.jpg">
Now I'm starvin

Sheeplovr

03-25-2002, 08:51 AM

What about the Shark Bites Engagment Ring

just think og that everythgin ill be A Okay

My left nostral is so stuffed right now IM blowing and blowing but nothings comming dammit

Prince Rocks on

number 333 its the way to be
http://members.hometown.aol.com/_ht_a/walrus701/images/breadsig.jpg
POWER AND CHAOS

Doogie

03-26-2002, 04:54 PM

Hey wanna know what always cheers me up...seeing somebody falling down...that is always classic comedy to see. When someone falls down. But the best part in when they fall down is the faces people make when they try to stop themselves from falling...f***ing classic

<IMG SRC=http://publish.hometown.aol.com/doogcool/myhomepage/rfnetdoogie76.jpg?mtbrand=AOL_US>

"My father would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark and accuse cheasnuts of being lazy...I assure you there is nothing like a shrown scrotum"
Thank you WWF Fallon for the sig

lleeder

03-26-2002, 05:03 PM

Or if they fall down and break a hip. Gotta love those medic alert bracelet commercials.

Green Lantern

03-26-2002, 05:21 PM

There's a woman that has a big problem when it came to farting. She farts all the time, yet is never be able to smell or hear them. So one day she decides to go to the doctor about the problem. She tells him how she is always leaving these long, hard farts that she can never smell or hear. The doctor thinks about it and sends her home with some pills, telling her to come back a week later. When she comes back to his office, she tells him how she still is having these horrible farts, but now they smell like rotting eggs. The doctor's only reaction to this was... "It's good to know we cleared up your sinuses. Now to work on your hearing...."

NO EVIL OR HOT CHICKS SHALL ESCAPE MY SIGHT!
<img src="http://gvac.50megs.com/images/greenlanternsig.jpg">

Sig pic done by GVACNOMORE

Green Lantern

03-26-2002, 05:27 PM

A Nutty Game

A doctor at an (insane) asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS

NO EVIL OR HOT CHICKS SHALL ESCAPE MY SIGHT!
<img src="http://gvac.50megs.com/images/greenlanternsig.jpg">

Sig pic done by GVACNOMORE

PanterA

03-26-2002, 09:50 PM

Here Clare....cheer up:

http://www.12freebie.com/funny/445.jpg

http://www.12freebie.com/funny/389.jpg

<img width=325 src="http://www.12freebie.com/funny/219.jpg">

<img width=325 src="http://www.12freebie.com/funny/513.jpg">

Thanks for the sig JerseyRich
http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsig5I crush the rush! I rule you fool!

This message was edited by PanterA on 3-27-02 @ 1:54 AM