How Many Dates Before........ [Archive]

ice cream girl

03-22-2002, 09:35 AM

Paticuarly for the guys....how many dates do you have to go on with a woman before you "expect" sex...Is it a number of times going out....amount of time you've known her...... or god forbid.....do you have to have feelings for her....What i'm basically asking- Is there a time frame when you come to EXPECT it???

God put me on this earth to do a certain number of things right... now i'm so far behind, i'll never die.

Christy

03-22-2002, 09:40 AM

Great question, ICG! I can't wait to see the responses! ;-)

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Jackie Sloan

03-22-2002, 09:41 AM

Assuming she's cool and not using you for food and grog, hopefully there's some serious lovin by the fouth date. If it's ice cream girl, whenever she says go!lol. Just kiddin, forget Al go for a man
peace

That's a clean burnin' Hell boy tell ya what!

Hoojibs

03-22-2002, 09:41 AM

I've done both, I've had sex like 3 or 4th date and I've waited a couple of months after. But, basically everytime they were friends first even before we dated, so I had feelings for them all beforehand.

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furie

03-22-2002, 10:56 AM

it depends on how many dates preceed marriage

j/k i think it's more a comfort thing. how comfortable the two feel.

and that feeling should occur on the 4th date(3rd if alcohol is involved ) :)

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Thanks Fallon!

This message was edited by furie on 3-22-02 @ 3:18 PM

fatty

03-22-2002, 11:09 AM

if i don't get sex the first date then what the hell am i paying her for?

jk. it pretty much depends on when the girl will let us. if a girl comes on to us the first date and initiates sex it's not like any guy would say no.

but as for when i try for it? I'm usually at least going out with the girl for a couple of weeks or a month or so. i don't expect it right away though. and i'm not big on just banging any girls. i'm very picky.

that's why i'm glad i have a great girlfriend, i hate those freaking head games.

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HELLisDARK

03-22-2002, 11:32 AM

Sex on the first date...Why not?...if it sucks, then you know not to go on the second date... 

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WintersEmbers

03-22-2002, 12:20 PM

well unfourtunately...im still a virgin but i would never demand it...at least i dont think i would...

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for the sig czm

sexy bastard

03-22-2002, 01:19 PM

well i will be honest with you I dont have a numebr of times where I expect sex...I just let things happen naturally
but seems to be my average thou is 1-2 dates before sex happnes

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furie

03-22-2002, 01:21 PM

but seems to be my average thou is 1-2 dates before sex happnes

really?!?

you rock man!

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Thanks Fallon!

Knocked

03-22-2002, 01:28 PM

I guess 4 sounds like a good number,,but who knows, it depends on how things flow, could be sooner,,could be later.

One time.....in Band Camp

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Seeeya!

sexy bastard

03-22-2002, 01:28 PM

i dont think i rock i justthink it happens the dates go really well and there is a conenction then it happnes but i prefer to wait a little while so i can getto know her better you know..... i mean dont get me wrong sex i love but when i am dating someone woudl be nice for a wait

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Poison Ivy

03-22-2002, 01:32 PM

and then.....

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CYYYFYYY

03-22-2002, 02:05 PM

I am just a simple boy frm the Lower East side.... I
never set up a time table.... when it is right it is
right.......

David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
My name is CYYYFYYY and I like Ping Pong

TheGameHHH

03-22-2002, 02:17 PM

I think it should be whenever you both feel comfortable with each other. If it's one night then it's one night, if it's a month it's a month.

IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME-AHHH!

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scutzgannon

03-22-2002, 07:28 PM

This question all depends on if the date is going well...if you have the second date obviously there is attraction and for me I think a second date is when I expect oral sex should happen..If there is a third date..then sex is definitely expected...9 months to wait is unheard of for a man...as george carlin said "you never hear this, stop sucking my dick or ill call the cops"...no one ever tells a girl to slow down...unless they are gay or have a 3 inch dick...or maybe skid marks in the undies..that is the only exception...i dont know what you are doing with him but i think Carmen said that you should find someone new ..bigger and better...she is absolutely right...have sex with your friend matt..that would be great! as vanilla ice said, dump the zero and get with the hero..cya

seeeeeya,
skyler gannon

gameguy

03-22-2002, 07:52 PM

I like sex(who doesn't) if it doesn't happen by the third date, assuming we got to a third date because I liked her for non-sexual reasons I find it very frustrating and I assume an incompatability sexually. NEXT.
However consider the source. This comes from a twice divorced currently single guy who wants to know where he can find more pics of ICG. Did I just type that. Pathetic. rude and rude. I hate these dumb skinamax movies. LAME

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gone

03-22-2002, 08:08 PM

whats a date?

ok so i know what one is, but i think ive only been on 2 in my whole life...

and on a side note.. is there a sig in this thread that reads ron and fez. com?

1st treasurer of the moon city. member of the under agers club.
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Green Lantern

03-22-2002, 08:17 PM

I say 5 or 6 date before you expect sex...

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PanterA

03-22-2002, 09:52 PM

4 maybe 5 minutes

http://www.members.aol.com/rnfpantera/rfsigI crush the rush! I rule you fool!

ThePointer

03-22-2002, 10:04 PM

I feel that things should proceed without pressure. If the first date is a good one and you do decide to get together again then just let it flow see how you feel and try to see how she feels. I feel the worst thing is to pressure the other one. And if you feel differently and it is a strong difference cut your loss and take a new position.

Well another day gone and the beer needs to be flowing again

ice cream girl

03-22-2002, 11:12 PM

Believe it or not, i'm actually very shy for the lack of a better word when it comes to sex....To me it's the most intimate thing two people can share together...I can't sleep with somebody unless ........ the felling is there....... soooo basically what almost every guy on the board is saying is that after on the average 4-5 dates you come to expect sex...if not you become frustrated...... So does that necessarily mean that a girls not into you just b/c she wants to wait? Would it be a reason to break it off with her.... AND....wouldn't you want the woman to be ready......doesn't that make it better for you as well ...as opposed to her just doing it b/c she feels obligated b/c it's your 7th date or whatnot?

God put me on this earth to do a certain number of things right... now i'm so far behind, i'll never die.

malachi

03-22-2002, 11:19 PM

My experiences have pretty much been 1 month, not necessarily the amount of dates we've had.

"If I can't be my own, I'd feel better dead."

ThePointer

03-22-2002, 11:23 PM

Ice Cream Girl, There should be no pressure on either. I also feel it means somethingand that if you do not feel it (and I speak for myself) then do not do it

Well another day gone and the beer needs to be flowing again

ThePointer

03-22-2002, 11:23 PM

Jobberific

03-22-2002, 11:25 PM

I think the problem is guys, at least I am, are insecure. So if I go 6, 7 dates and am not getting any, I start to think "Ok she must not be into me sexually." I don't have a problem with a girl wanting to wait, but since I'm dumb and subtlety is lost on me, its gotta be made clear that its a postponment, not a cancellation.

AJW...All Jobber Wrestling...All jobbers, all the time.

CYYYFYYY

03-23-2002, 12:06 AM

I have to agree with ICG..... If I put pressure this is
the 3rd date I need my sex I think there is
something wrong with you..... I mean sex is good
and all but sheesh... I can have fun without sex... IT
HAPPENS PEOPLE......(OH Oh now I sound like AL
Dukes).......

David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
My name is CYYYFYYY and I like Ping Pong

Captain Stubing

03-23-2002, 01:18 AM

ICG, consider the type of guy you're likely to date. If they are like you (meaning introverted, regardless of outward presentation) then it follows that they are very sensitive to the 'good friend' syndrome. So, with no action (broadly defined) early on, they may erronously assume that they have been put into the 'friend' bin...and therefore not even think that any sex is possible in the future. To make it worse, this group isn't normally exposed to the 'friends with benefits' concept, so it wouldn't occur to them that this kind of thing is a possibility. It becomes a black and white thing...early action = 'real girlfriend', and no early action = 'friend, no benefits'. Yes, it is maladaptive and dysfunctional. Nonetheless, it is a powerful prism through which people approach relationships...and is based on the strong interaction of low-self esteem/enhanced sensitivity to rejection and a history of crappy relationships. 

Fezaesthesia - Prognosis poor...

sexy bastard

03-23-2002, 05:41 AM

icg I dontthink there should be any perssure on sex cause your right itsa very intimate moment. IT really depends on the two people if things go well and starting goign someplace else then good I would prefer if I had sex later on in the relationship cause i would liketo get to know her better instead of the 1st or 2nd date andend up having sex...then again maybe that is partiially my fault Ishould not give in to it so soon with these ladies

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Gaia

03-23-2002, 05:53 AM

What is this "sex" all of you speak of???

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sexy bastard

03-23-2002, 05:57 AM

Gaia it is something that when a man and a woman do the horizontal hokey pokey....come here let me show you

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the epitome of masculinity (yeah right)

Joey Cartoons

03-23-2002, 06:11 AM

Believe it or not, i'm actually very shy for the lack of a better word when it comes to sex....To me it's the most intimate thing two people can share together...I can't sleep with somebody unless ........ the felling is there....... This is something that should be said to your guy, and then he will understand and not be frustrated. If he dumos you because of it, did you really want to be with this guy? soooo basically what almost every guy on the board is saying is that after on the average 4-5 dates you come to expect sex...if not you become frustrated...... Personally, anybody who

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Joey Cartoons

03-23-2002, 06:13 AM

Ok, why do a lot of my posts get
cut off? Even short ones! I
preview them all first and
everything!

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ice cream girl

03-23-2002, 02:09 PM

CYYYFYYY..... YOU ARE VERY SWEET.....ALOT OF YOU ARE.....I LIKE TO TAKE THINGS REAL SLOW AND ALOT OF TIMES I FEEL THAT IF YOU DON'T SLEEP WITH A GUY AFTER A CERTAIN PERIOD OF TIME HE BECOMES FRUSTRATED AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR JUST NOT READY...I DO SUPPOSE IF HE CAN'T WAIT HE'S NOT WORTH IT...BUT HONESTLY HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT? THAT IS B/F YOU GAVE UP SO TO SPEAK......

God put me on this earth to do a certain number of things right... now i'm so far behind, i'll never die.

lleeder

03-23-2002, 02:26 PM

Sex shouldn't be thought of as someting that needs a timefrae to occur. Life Is short. If you want something let it happen. As we've unfortunately seen, anything can happen. If you need sex find it. If you want to feel good let it happen. The nmber of dates should never matter, if you are horney and want sex your gonna deprive youself causesome number wasn't there to tell you its ok...BULLSHIT. Get you orgasisms now and while you can people, lifes too short, lifes too short, lifes too short.

JustinR

03-23-2002, 02:47 PM

to be continued.....i need to go on more dates with women.

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CYYYFYYY

03-23-2002, 04:45 PM

If I loved a young lady and she said she is waitng
for marriage I would respect that.... But I would
insist once we got married... NO MORE
WAITING!!!!!!

David the Franchize
Everyone Loves CYYYFYYY
My name is CYYYFYYY and I like Ping Pong

ROMEO

03-23-2002, 05:50 PM

Frist date guy's think,#1your a whore #2 I'm so good,she could'nt say no. Sex whenever it's right 3rd 8th it don't matter. As long as both agree and the tension is broke,and hopefully there's no regret's. I think it's a

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CrazyClare

03-23-2002, 10:21 PM

i used to go with my gut feeling. I kinda go with the vibes im gettin and shit. i wait at least one date, althought im beginnin to question this cause sometimes people turn out to be somethin completly different from what you expect and then you feel like shit afterwards ffor having slept with them :(

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The Belcher

03-23-2002, 10:33 PM

NO timetable. NO pressure. It's the vibes, and the spark that dictates what happens. But, if there are no sparks by the 2nd date, I make a decision during the third, if there is one. Sparks & fun on all dates? Sex should happen by the 3rd. If nothing by the 9th, then I'm outta there cause we were just buddies after all.

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Gvac

03-24-2002, 07:46 AM

I'm at a stage in my life where sex without any real feelings doesn't appeal to me all that much. Of course there are exceptions, but I mainly like to wait until some sort of closeness is developed.

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wilee

03-25-2002, 06:15 AM

This is something that's hard to put a number on, since that number is different for different people. While times have changed from "waiting till you get married" to "maybe getting it on the first date", there are still these two extremes and lots of people who fall into the middle.

Body language speaks volumes. Simply holding someone's hand, or placing your hand on someone's back indicates that you are into a person. Seeing signs like this indicate a degree of comfort.

Sex is a big indicator as to how the relationship is going, and some people place a lot of stock in what happens in the bedroom as opposed to what happens everywhere else.

Sorry to go on, but the short answer would be that everyone is different and views sex as something to wait for (once you know you have feelings for someone), as "another notch on the bedpost" or somewhere in between. The best route is to find someone that you're comfortable with, and doesn't put pressure on you, nor starve you if you're ready.

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Jackie Sloan

03-25-2002, 07:11 AM

The actual number of dates is less significant than the feelings you're having for each other. If something's not going on by the 3rd or 4th date, obviously she wants to be "friends" only. Translation: If you want to buy me dinner and drinks fine, but you ain't gettin this ass! Reply: That's cool, thanks for being honest......SSEEYYAAHH!!!!!

Look over there...dry ice factory...GOOD PLACE TO GET SOME THINKIN' DONE!

jam4369

03-25-2002, 08:07 AM

well it depends for me. you need to see how it's going. there not a time frame for me if I really like her I wait. ;)

ice cream girl

03-25-2002, 09:18 AM

If somethings not going on by the 3rd or 4th date, she obviously just wants to be friends

Thats not true...my x-boyfriend and i didn't have sex untill about 4 months into the relationship...we were together for over a year and 1/2...

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God put me on this earth to do a certain number of things right... now i'm so far behind, i'll never die.

furie

03-25-2002, 09:27 AM

my fiance' and I dated for a few months before we slept together. It basicly goes on your gut feeling.

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Thanks Fallon!

fatty

03-25-2002, 09:48 AM

it also depends on how many guys she's slept with. if she's a virgin then i understand. but if she's been with 3 or 4 guys i'm like "why was she with them and not with me?" it's stupid but it's true.

overall though if other stuff is happening i have no problem being patient. it's just hard to differenciate between her not being ready and her not being into you.

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Prince Neptune

03-25-2002, 11:02 AM

Myself I never expect anything, but I do like too and usually do have sex fairly early in a relationship. Most of my longer term relationships have been with women I have had sex with with-in 3-5 dates. Amount of time really isnt an issue but usualy If a woman isnt sexually attracted to me early on that would turn me off. For me the basis of the relationship in the begining always revolves aruond sex and its a good thing because I find my other social skills a little lacking=) ( I dont drink or smoke pot or dance, Well I can dance just not good) I'm just a very physical (touchy feely) guy and I thrive on strong sensual and sexual contact for a good relationship the other stuff usually comes later. 

Molester of mermaids and seafaring maidens
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kekermahoney

03-25-2002, 11:46 AM

after 4 dates ya gotta hope for at least a handie in the parking lot~ ha

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Red Rocket

03-26-2002, 09:22 AM

wouldn't you want the woman to be ready......doesn't that make it better for you as well ...as opposed to her just doing it b/c she feels obligated b/c it's your 7th date or whatnot?
It always for me depended on the girl or situation. I would wait till the girl was ready and try not to put any pressure on the girl for a time or date limit. I wouldn't ever consider it would be grounds for breaking up with someone because they will not have sex.

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blueknightNY

03-26-2002, 07:11 PM

Ice Cream Girl, honestly, I, personally dont put a time frame on waiting period. I just go with the flow and if it happens, great, so be it. With my ex., I waited, I mean we both waited for almost a year, and it was well worth it. We wanted each other so bad, I mean SOOOO BAD, and when we finally did it 'twas the greates sex I had so far. On the other hand, with the girl before my ex I was knocking boots the same night and that was good too. In both cases I didnt have a time frame, I didnt expect to wait a year and I didnt expect to get laid on the first date( by the way, I was friends with this girl before we dated.... wouldn want u to think that I am a skank ;-) ) it just happened, naturally. 

Remain silent you scum !!!!

TooCute

03-27-2002, 07:51 AM

Uhm sorry if I'm wrong but isn't
there a very big difference
between 'wanting' and
'expecting' sex? You should never
ever ever expect sex.

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fatty

03-27-2002, 08:11 AM

You should never ever ever expect sex. 
not true. when i pay a guy 5 buck i expect sex. 
i mean a GIRL. don't be gay 

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Fatty makes us happy!

Grumpy

03-27-2002, 08:17 AM

if she's not suckin on the midget meat pipe within the first hour of the first date, it's not worth continuing to see her. plain and simple.

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shadowsmythe

03-27-2002, 08:23 AM

Just to echo what's already been said (and maybe make the sweet list :) It depends. Some guys do have a time table, other, such as me, just go with the flow. If you're ready, the cool. If not, cool. It all depends on what you're looking for and what he's looking for. If it were you, I'd wait until you said "ravage me". Whether it's the 1st or 100th date. :)

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Justice4all

03-29-2002, 05:06 AM

Uhm sorry if I'm wrong but isn't
there a very big difference
between 'wanting' and
'expecting' sex? You should never
ever ever expect sex.

AT LAST...someone who UNDERSTANDS! THANK you TooCute. What it boils down to people is it ALL depends on the person you are with. Are they mature enough or secure enough (Not meant as a rag on ICG) to handle sex so soon. I have waited months before I had sex, and I have had 1st date sex. Both had similar outcomes, Long Term Relationships. It just all depends on the person is all. But TooCute NAILED it...NEVER expect it, when it happens...it happens. (Well done TooCute)

I NEVER suffer from insanity...I love EVERY minute of it

TooCute

03-29-2002, 07:30 AM

Well done
TooCute

I rule ;)

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m/sheepyson/toocutesass344.jp
g>

Raven

03-29-2002, 06:47 PM

Normaly I'de say something like --right after hello, or something -- but not in the mood tonight -- real thoughts -- At some point sex becomes less than most important part of life and the wait can make it seem more than the quicky can.

Well back to my MALE talk now

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Christy

03-29-2002, 08:08 PM

I think I am too old-fashioned. I don't know how/why people have sex so quickly.

I don't think I could ever have sex with someone I didn't care about ... I'm not into one-night stands ... but there is something sexy about a one-night stand ... okay ... screw my old-fashioned views ... I'm ready for a one-night stand! LOL J/K

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Jackie Sloan

03-29-2002, 08:18 PM

christy rules

Look over there...dry ice factory...GOOD PLACE TO GET SOME THINKIN' DONE!

Christy

03-29-2002, 08:32 PM

christy rules

Oh my gosh! Thanks sweetie! ;-)

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This message was edited by Christy on 3-30-02 @ 12:44 AM

Supervixen

03-30-2002, 05:33 PM

you shouldnt expect sex or have any number of
dates for it honestly if you really feel like its right
then go for it no matter when. Sex is great
especcially when you have intense feelings for the
other half.

........

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*Baby Anna*
......continue to shine.....

Aldust19

03-31-2002, 07:03 PM

There's no time frame at all...i'm always READY, yet I'm patient and curtious....and ICG...If those mystery dates don't pan out send me an IM...i can last for a long time and will hit all the right spots...i'll treat u right too...

<img src="http://home.nj.rr.com/jesternj/pics/aldustsig.jpg">

JaneBigHair

04-04-2002, 10:19 AM

ICG, No time frame... if it's right between the two of you, you'll know. Worst thing is doing something under pressure and then regretting it for all time and cringing when you see the person again.

It doesn't have to be an intense, all-powerful love either, but a deep and wonderful caring between two people makes the experience wonderful. Love comes in a lot of forms and discovering each other together is a great way to nuture and keep the fire going in a relationship.

A whole bunch of bunchies!